Tongue-Tied

by BeanyOne

One Swell Morning

The soft warmth of Celestia's sun crested the horizon as the animals started to rouse from their slumber. The squirrels in the trees chittered away as they searched the ground for acorns to hoard away. The birds chirped throughout the skies. The wind washed gently across the pastoral fields.

It was another beautiful morning in Ponyville, with a sky so clear, every color of the rainbow could be seen slowly flowing through its expanse. Such serene moments were not uncommon in the village. Twilight Sparkle had only been living there for a few scant years before attaining princesshood, and she'd somehow attracted more than her fair share of disasters to the town since starting to live there. Regardless, the calm mornings were always a blessing, and she was overjoyed to see such a serene morning once more. "Well, I'd better wake up Spike," she thought to herself, prancing downstairs gleefully.

Spike was passed out over a pile of books. He'd opted to stay up late the previous night to do some research. Upon further inspection, his chosen reading material included "Dating Ponies for Scaly Dummies" and "1001 Neat Things to Do with Marshmallows." Twilight smiled and shook her head knowingly. "Okay, Casanova. It's time to get up," she said.

Or, at least, that's what she tried to say. "Spospay, spbababoba! Ibibe bu beb ub!" was all that came out.

As Spike opened his eyes, he was greeted with an anxious-looking Twilight with a swollen tongue and a puddle of drool dripping profusely from her jaw, causing him to yelp and leap backwards in surprise. "Twilight! What happened to you?!"

"I boe doe!" Twilight said, spewing saliva everywhere.

Spike was utterly drenched in pony spit. "Eugh...I don't think it's a good idea for you to say anything for a while, Twilight." He gingerly stepped over to his bed and wiped himself off with his blanket. "Note to self: use extra detergent when I do the laundry."

Twilight was already pulling books off her shelves, frantically scanning them for any mention of the affliction. She pored through book after book while dancing in place anxiously, throwing them into random piles behind her as she finished with them.

Spike decided to take the opportunity to examine the situation in detail. "Hey, Twilight, can you stop moving for a second and let me look at your mouth? If we're gonna fix this, we need to figure out what's going on."

Twilight stopped dancing and looked at Spike, her eyes pleading with him to come up with an explanation. She opened her mouth as wide as she could, but her massively swollen tongue prevented Spike from seeing much else. He leaned forward and peered inside her mouth. "Well, nothing too out of the ordinary, besides your breath," he commented, eliciting a glare from Twilight. "Uh...heh, but your tongue is really big right now, which is, um, probably why you can't talk without spraying everywhere?" he added sheepishly.

Twilight moaned and started to say something, but stopped herself when Spike recoiled. She sighed and reached for a quill with her magic, writing out a note on a scrap of parchment and handing it to him. "We have to fix this quickly, Spike," he read aloud from the note.

Before Spike could respond, the door to the library burst open. Applebloom barged in, sweating and panting. "Wow, you must have run here all the way from Sweet Apple Acres!" Spike mused. "What's going on?"

"Twahlight! Ya gotta help me! Mah sister! She can't talk!"

Spike and Twilight exchanged glances, then nodded to Applebloom. "We'll head over right away!" Spike said, as Twilight hastily assembled a saddlebag with some books.

---

The Apple Family was in disarray. Granny Smith had recently gotten on a road trip kick, and she was traveling the Equestrian countryside with her old friends. That left the farm in the care of Applejack and Big Macintosh, neither of whom could concentrate on chores with Applejack unable to communicate.

Upon their arrival, Spike and Twilight immediately noticed that Applejack's tongue was indeed swollen. Whatever was going on was affecting more than just Twilight, and they needed to put a stop to it quickly. "Bowong hab be-" Twilight began, before remembering she couldn't articulate any better than Applejack could.

Spike took this as his cue. "Was she like this when you woke up?"

Big Mac, already a stallion of few words, turned to Spike and merely uttered, "Eeyup."

"Great," Spike muttered under his breath. "I'm dealing with a distressed filly, two tongue-tied mares, and the strong silent type." He turned to Applebloom. "Is this the only thing you've noticed wrong with Applejack?"

"Um, yeah. But that's not the only thing Ah wanted to say! Ah went to school this mornin', and Miss Cheerilee couldn't talk, neither!"

Twilight's eyes widened, and she brought her hoof to her chin. If that's three ponies with the same affliction, that's a pattern, she thought. But what is it...? Applejack, Cheerilee, me...Big Mac and Applebloom are fine...Oh, no.

Twilight's ears flattened and her pupils shrank. Spike knew better than anypony that this was never a good sign. "What is it, Twilight? Did you figure something out?"

Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but thought better of it. Instead, she pointed her forehoof at Applejack and back to herself, nodding her head. Then she pointed at Big Mac and Applebloom, shaking her head.

The others stared at her motions, confused. "Applejack and Twilight yes, Big Mac and Applebloom no? Is that it?" Spike ventured.

Twilight shook her head, groaning in frustration. Then she realized that Spike had packed in his dating books along with the others in Twilight's saddlebag. She pulled one out with a coquettish mare on the cover, pointing at the cover, then to herself and Applejack. Concluding her little game of charades, she pointed at her swollen tongue, flopping it a bit for emphasis.

Applebloom stared at the cover, face contorted in a contemplative scowl. "Yer sayin' that this is somethin' that only affects mares like y'all?"

Twilight's vigorous nodding gave them all a moment of relief for figuring it out. Before long, however, Spike's expression turned to one of utter consternation. "If this affects mares...then that means...I'M COMING FOR YA, RARITY!"

Twilight tried to stop the hysterical dragon, but her commanding tone was lost to her without the use of her mouth, and Spike ran off towards the Carousel Boutique in a blind panic, screaming at the top of his lungs.

Hoping to relieve the tension, Big Mac offered his commentary. "Eenope."

Author's Note:

And now for something completely different.

Yeah, I don't know. I had a weird-ass idea in my head and started to run with it. I don't know where I'm going with this, or when the next chapter would be.

Comments

[Ugly-Duckling123]

LOVE IT

[FeignedSincerity]

Well, this couldn't end any way other than awful. I like it!

[BeanyOne]

3969499 Oh my god, your avatar fits perfectly with your nick.

[RainbowDashie1001]

This thing that has been put in front of my eyes... I WANT MORE OF IT!