Ch.2 Six Years Later
6 Years Later
At the park, a young dark blue unicorn filly with a purple mane was trying to practice magic.
"Am I doing it right Mommy?", asked the filly
"Your doing great sweetie, just keep focusing", replied Trixie
The filly's horn kept glowing until fireworks started to appear.
"I DID IT MOMMY", cheered the filly
"That was amazing", said Trixie hugging her
"Does that mean I can be your assistant now?", asked the filly
"Not even close", said Trixie
"C'mon mommy, just think about it. The Great and Powerful Trixie, and her assistant Topaz the Magnificent", begged Topaz
"That does sound kinda good", said Trixie
"Pleeeeeeease", begged Topaz
"Oh alright", said Trixie
"YAY", cheered Topaz hugging her mom
Suddenly, a ball rolled over to the Topaz. She looked up and saw a couple of foals. One was a green pegasus filly with a blue mane. The second one was a pink earth pony filly with a green mane. The third one was an orange unicorn colt with a blond mane.
"Excuse me, can you pass the ball over here", asked the pegasus
"Sure", said Topaz kicking the ball
"Hey, wanna play with us?", asked the earth pony
"Can I mommy?", asked Topaz
"I don't see why not", said Trixie
"Thanks mommy", said Topaz hugging her
Topaz walked over to the group of foals.
"Im Northern Lights", said the pegasus
"Im Springtime Blossom, and this is Comet Twist", introduced the earth pony
"Um…hi", said Comet Twist shyly
"What's your name?", asked Springtime Blossum
"Im Topaz", introduced Topaz
"That's a cool name", said Nothern Lights
"Enough talk, let's play", said Comet Twist
Then they started to play while Trixie watched them.
"I told you it'll get better, and it did. We have a nice house, and I have you as my new assistant. I don't have a husband yet, but that's ok. I have you", said Trixie "Im so glad I kept my promise. And Im glad I have my little girl Topaz"
The End
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Diamond Wings you are going to put this story to complete since is the end of this story or is there more chapters to this story and i like it
3975030 No its over, I just forgot to change the status
3975327 ok
A very nice short story. I like it.
I like this story, Very nice.
This was nice.
A little bit hasty maybe.
And once again the day is saved, thanks to... Derpy Hooves!
Sorry I had to get that out of my system. Very short but really cute. I like The Great and Motherly Trixie... not as much as Fluttermom but still fun.
3987275 Thanx, and Derpy is awesome
I agree with dream 1990. I'd rally like to see more.
I also really wanted to see derpy and her family helping trixie through the last three weeks of her pregnancy an d afterwards. The jump to six years later was kinda a bummer in those regards
I liked this, don't get me wrong, but it seemed way too short. It had a good beginning and it seemed like it was going somewhere with derpy taking trixie in.
You still get a like from me, but please put something between the six years later. Maybe a few months later after the birth and trixie's gotten her home and is thanking derpy for taking her in when she needed it
4103953 The friend she banished was Twilight, remember from the magic duel
Oh, no. :( This text was so bad that I can't comprehend how it was even allowed by its author to be published here. I knew something was wrong when there was a major spelling error in the first paragraph. It only goes downhill from there. And then, there is the strange way the story just concludes while offering nothing of substance. Making her into a single mother makes her look worse, not better. How is her situation actually better than it was; how did it happen? This was the same as just saying, 'the princess moved away and lived happily ever after; the end'. What are the situations and relations between the other characters? What were their significance or the purposes of retelling the past from Trixie's point of view? Why does she have a first person speech when this was not the way she spoke in the past? Why not bring up the 'apologetic Trixie'?
Overall: The spelling/grammar needs work and the story is muddled.
3/10
The story was running at ludicrous speeds! Seriously this story condensed a lot of plot into two small chapters.
I like the idea behind the story but the bad execution spoiled it for me.
Nice Idea.
But it is right - it is really rushed. For the thoughts behind the writing just deserve some more details. And a depiction of the missing 6 years would also be fine.
Some more dialoge between Derpy / Family / Trixie would be nice, some explanation why it is better now (has she a job, or do she live with Derpy now?) This things really would help.
After all - needs work but nice to read.
And... dr timeturner whooves didn't say a thing. aaawwweee !!!