Part 3: The Elements of Harmony
The six mares walked down the grassy path, looking up at the large, imposing castle looming over them as they approached.
“Well,” Spike said, “I have a feeling that would be the place where the ancient, hidden magical weapons are hidden.”
“A fair assumption.” Rainbow Dash replied. “Ok girls let check it out.”
As the stepped forward, there was a sound, a flurry of leathery wings beating against the wind rapidly, and suddenly they were surrounded by dozens of Nightsteeds.
“Now why would six, unassuming ponies come to such a dark, secluded, lifeless place?” The commander of the Nightsteeds mused as he stepped in view, in front of the entranceway. “You wouldn’t happen to be trying to find the weapons that sealed our Princess away, are you?”
“And so what if we are?” Pinkamena said. “Why do you care so badly? What ARE you things anyway?”
“We’ve never seen ponies like you before, that’s for sure.” Spike added.
The captain snorted as the others became agitated, flapping their wings and stomping their hooves lightly. “We are descended by ponies, but for some strange reason we were born into the forms you currently see.” He walked around the group, scanning them with his bright yellow eyes. “Our parents and families either abandoned us, sold us or even tried to harm us.” He smiled, looking towards the moon. “However, Our Princess, Her Ladyship Luna, saved us, protected us from those who shunned us, feared us for being different, and in return we gave her our loyalty, and became her personal guard.” His gaze grew stern as he turned back to his captives, baring his sharp fangs in a scowl. “That was until the day of the coup, when she became what is known as Nightmare Moon. We do not know what happened or what caused her change, and we do not care. We sided with her, as we always have and always shall, and watched as Celestia imprisoned her sister within the moon. We could not bear such a betrayal, such callousness; we tried to continue her work then and there.” He sneered. “However we heard of the prophecy foretelling her return, so we used our own magic to turn us to stone until the day Nightmare Moon was free and we could once again serve her.”
Rarity and Twilight looked at the creatures in sympathy. “You poor things...” The white unicorn said. “To have been mistreated just because you were different...”
“Indeed.” The commander agreed coldly. “Your kind has treated us only with scorn and contempt; however that is not why we serve the Princess. We only follow her will, regardless of our personal feelings.”
Rainbow Dash glared. “So, you don’t care about if she hurts anyone?”
“We care, however, even if we do not like it, if our Princess orders it, will be done.” He glared. “That is what it means to be loyal.”
“How dare you!?” Applejack interjected, causing the other mares to stare at her in shock.
“Applejack...?” Twilight said quietly, eyes wide.
The earth pony didn’t hear, trotting over to the commander of the Nightsteeds, pressing her muzzle to his, glaring into his eyes. “You call that loyalty? Blindly following the orders of some crazy pony just because she was nice to you? Even if that means doing this you don’t want to do? Even if it’s only making things worse for her!?”
“Yes.” The commander retorted softly, steel in his gaze.
Applejack’s lips thinned as she growled. “That is not being loyal. That is being a slave.”
“Who are you to question our loyalty!?” The commander snapped, his soldiers getting into battle stances. “You, who is no different from those who mistreated us, who are you to question our loyalty!”
“Nopony yet, but someday...” She cut herself off, shaking her head. “No, it does not matter. What DOES is that you are deluding yourselves into following somepony who is not in her right mind, instead of doing something to help her! It’s clear from what you said that you do not think she would act like this normally!”
“I...I would never say anything treasonous about our Princess!” He roared. “Nightsteeds, destroy these ponies! Make sure none make it into the castle! I will handle this one myself!”
The six mares gasped as the soldiers surrounded them, charging forward, snapping at them with sharp teeth, Rarity crying out in pain as one bit her. Rainbow knocked the attacker away as she ran to the unicorn.
“You’re hurt!” The Pegasus exclaimed.
“Oh yes, and my personal well being is sooo important.” Rarity said sarcastically. “Look, we need to find those elements. They’re distracted, focusing on us. Get in the castle before they realise their mistake!”
“but—“
Twilight leapt in, bucking a Nightsteed in the face as it lunged at Rainbow’s wing. “Even their commander is focusing more on Applejack then guarding the door. We can handle these guys, just go!”
Rainbow bit her lip, conflicted. On the one hand, she didn’t know these ponies, she didn’t owe them anything. On the other, they still came all this way to help despite it being unnecessary, and besides....she couldn’t just leave them to fend for themselves.
“Dash.” Spike spoke up, his voice calm and gentle but reassuring. “I trust these girls. They’ll survive this. But we need to go in there and get those elements before it’s too late, before Shimmer grabs them, or Nightmare Moon, or—“
“Ok, ok I get it.” She looked over the battlefield, seeing fluttershy joyfully dodge and glide around past her assailants, Applejack facing the commander, Pinkamena tripping a careless soldier over nonchalantly. She turned to the two unicorns and gulped. “Make sure everyone makes it out of this in one piece.”
They nodded. “Of course.”
Rainbow Dash bit her lip and ran past the large heavy entrance doors and into the castle.
The Nightsteed commander was too busy focusing on Applejack, the two ponies circling each other. “You spit on my honour, call into question my loyalty...for that and more, I shall give you pain.”
The farmer smirked. “Just try it, Dahling.”
The Nightsteed roared and charged at her, slamming his hooves onto her, making her yelp in pain, and then biting her neck.
“You are a shallow creature, way too concerned for your appearance, you lack any muscle or even any fighting ability!” The commander lectured, digging his sharp teeth into her neck. “You are a weak creature, with no hope of even challenging me.”
The earth pony grunted and winced in pain but glared at him. “Ah may care about my appearance, and its true Ah am not the strongest pony Ah know, however, you’re forgetting one thing.”
“What?” The commander growled. “Why is a weakling like you even here? You’re merely a hindrance!”
“Indeed, Ah could’ve left this expedition at any time, Ah could’ve just gone home and pretended nothing happened tonight. But Ah didn’t.” She pushed him off and he tried to knock at her with his strong wings but she merely pinned them under her hooves, staring into him eye to eye. “And it wasn’t because they asked me to. Not because Ah felt Ah had to, or was obligated to. Ah WANTED to come, despite any protests or complaining, because I NEVER leave anyone I know hanging, and Ah am always there for them. That is the difference between you and mean. You obey, Ah merely follow and offer help. If you were TRULY loyal, you would’ve realised what you should’ve done ages ago.”
She headbutted him hard, knocking him out, wincing as several more Nightsteeds scratched at her with what looked like claws. She spat at the ground, her gaze steely.
“Bring it.”
-----------------------------
Rainbow raced through the castle, the building old and dank and cold and dark and empty, devoid of anything other than the floor, ceiling, walls and stairs. Lots of stairs.
As she walked up a set of stairs, she heard a familiar, agitated voice.
“This should work! My research is flawless! All signs point to magic being the spark to jumpstart the Elements! WORK!!!!!”
Rainbow entered a large room where she saw the haggard form of Sunset Shimmer standing over five round stone orbs, each inscribed with a symbol. “You know, talking aloud to yourself is considered the first sign of madness.”
Shimmer turned, eyes wide and frantic, though filled with malice. “You! This is your fault somehow! It has to be! I am perfect! I didn’t do anything wrong! I am the best!”
Rainbow waved her wings diplomatically. “Whoah there, easy Shimmer. Look, are those elements? They...don’t really look like much. Hay, I can’t even feel any magic from them...”
“But that’s the beauty of it!” Shimemr grinned crookedly. “The Elements are useless without the sixth, a spark of magic...however, these stupid things aren’t reacting no matter how much magic I use on them! They’re useless!” She kick the orbs, sending them flying to opposite ends of the room, shattering to pieces. Shimmer panted, her eyes widening slowly with horror and realisation at what she just did.
“Shimmer...YOU DESTROYED THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!!” Rainbow shouted.
“It wasn’t my fault!” The unicorn stated desperately. “it’s never my fault! The Elements weren’t working, despite my being the most powerful unicorn in Equestria! This...this was the perfect chance to prove my superiority!”
“Your superiority?” Rainbow growled. “Sunset Shimmer, did you forget the insane tyrant running amok trying to depose our Princess and take over Equestria? Did you forget just WHY we came here to make sure you would be ok, or if you needed help? THIS NOT ABOUT Y, IT’S ABOUT MAKING SURE EQUESTRIA IS SAFE!”
“It’s always about me!” Shimmer snapped back. “I am the greatest magic user, not you! I am superior to everypony, not you! I am Celestia’s student, not you! I AM PERFECT AT EVERYTHING I DO, NOT! YOU!”
There was a mocking chuckle, the two amres turning, paling as they saw the imposing figure of Nightmare Moon herself. “Oh, don’t mind me, do go on. I haven’t had entertainment like this for 1000 years.”
Shimmer smirked, horn glowing. “Even without the Elements, I’ll—“
She barely a got a word out as Nightmare Moon grabbed her with her mane, throwing her hard against the ground, pressing her hoof onto her head. “You presume too much about yourself, you stupid, small creature! Do you realise how old I am, what power I possess? You are nothing but an ant to me!” She grinned wickedly. “However, I thank you for destroying the Elements for me, ensuring that no obstacle is left to face me.”
Shimmer groaned in pain, struggling to attempt to get up, unable to speak through the pain, Nightmare Moon too strong to be simply shrugged off.
“You’re wrong.” Rainbow Dash stated, earning both mares’ attention. “I’ll oppose you, even if I can’t fight as well or know as many spells as Sunset Shimmer, I’ll take you on.”
The Mare on the Moon smirked. “For Equestria? For your Princess?”
“of course, for everypony, including six awesome mares who came all this way with me, helped me out, showed me what I am fighting for.” Rainbow spread her wings, which were glowing brightly with rainbow aura. “I will fight you for Equestria, for the Princess, for everypony in it, and especially for my friends, who even now are fighting your minions, trying to give me a chance to stop you!”
“You don’t even know what I plan.” Nightmare Moon retorted.
“Spike, what time is it?” The Pegasus asked her assistant, who indeed was still on her back.
“almost 6am” The dragon answered dutifully, gazing at the Winged Unicorn with the same determined look as Rainbow.
“I taught him well, and he taught himself even better.” The Pegasus explained. “He is better at knowing the time than even the best clock. So, judging by the fact it still looks around midnight, couple with the fact that the moon hasn’t moved an inch since this whole thing began, I’m guessing that you control the moon, much like Celestia does the sun, and you’re attempting something like Eternal Night?”
Nightmare Moon snorted. “It’s only fair. Nopony appreciated my night before. Now, it will be all they will ever know.”
“Yeah, but that’s only short term, how about long term?” The Pegasus continued. “Ever think about what would happen if the sun NEVER rose?”
“W...what?” Nightmare Moon faltered, her eyes...flashing to a more normal dark blue hue for a second. “Are you saying my plan is flawed.”
“Well, assuming you don’t want an ice age, which will be what will happen if night is eternal. At the very least, if not that, we will have a damaged ecosystem due to several animals having their internal clocks messed with, crops won’t grow, and lots of ponies will end up starving and cold.”
“I...That can’t...” Nightmare Moon’s blinked between green and blue rapidly. “You’re lying! Nothing will happen! I...it...They will love me!” She fired a massive blast of magic which Dash barely dodged, the Princess’ mane ripping stone and mortar out of the room, throwing them at Rainbow Dash, who grunted and fell as several blocks connected with her softer body.
The Princess of the Night stepped forward, looking shaken but resolute. “Everything will be better...I will be loved...b-by everypony, no matter what.”
Rainbow got up slowly. “No, you’re just a tyrant, an idiotic child throwing a tantrum without knowing anything. You won’t have anyone’s love, only their fear...and I will stop you.”
“Why? Why are you fighting? Why is Celestia so important to you!”
“It’s not about Celestia!” Rainbow Dash shouted angrily. “it’s about you destroying the world because you can’t ahve your way, which will hurt many ponies...especially my new friends!”
A glow came from the shattered remains of the Elements, which lifted into the air and moved towards the Pegasus, surrounding her as a majestic crown was formed, resting on the pegasus’ head. Rainbow and spike stared at the accessory, as did Nightmare Moon and Sunset Shimmer.
“What!?” Shimmer cried out, getting up on her hooves at last.
“B-But it was broken!” Nightmare Moon screeched.
Rainbow looked equally confused, but smirked as she thought everything through. “Of course...”
“huh?” Spike asked. “You figured out what’s going on Rainbow?”
“Of course Spike, it’s elementary.” She turned to the other two mares in the room. “The elements of harmony...they aren’t simply a weapon. They represent what they imply: harmony. Not just one pony trying to prove she’s better, not something to simply chase away some monster. They’re an artefact representing and applying Harmony, creating balance to the world...”
“Give it to me!” Shimmer cried out. “My magic will make it much effective!”
“It didn’t work for you, remember, smart guy?” Rainbow pointed out. “The Element reacted to me, specifically when I mentioned my friends...it reacts to a connection, a bond between ponies...”
“Hurry Rainbow!” Spike exclaimed, pointing a claw at Nightmare Moon. “Blast her!”
“It’s too much power, Spike.” The Pegasus continued. “That’s why its separated into five...no...make it SIX objects, it works wth harmony...so you need harmony to use them.” She smirked, gazing defiantly at the Princess of the Night. “They represent aspects of harmony, to be wielded by those who best represent those Elements.” She raised her head high, some shards flying out a window. “Five mares came with me tonight, to help me. At first to help Shimmer, but then to ensure that Nightmare Moon was defeated and Shimmer didn’t make things worse. However, there was one pony who was always giving Sunset Shimmer the benefit of the doubt, always ready to help another, even after the pony in question attacked us several times. Yes, my friend, Rarity, represents....KINDNESS!”
------------------------------
Rarity was tending to her friend’s wounds, looking worried. The Nightsteeds surrounded them, few in number but outnumbering the mares by quite a margin.“There are so many of them...We may not survive this night girls...”
“Hey, would it really be so bad, giving our lives to help save Equestria?’ Twilight said with a smirk, breathing heavily.
“Speak for yourself.” Pinkamena replied. “I don’t plan on dying here, fighting some weird ponies while even weirder ponies fight.”
“I concur, though not quite so...impolitely.” Applejack added. “I for one will stand by you all, come what may, however.”
“Oh turn that frown upside down!” Flutterhsy giggled, hovering above them, completely unharmed. “We’re gonna get through this and then we can have a party!” She grinned, hooves raised wide and high.
“Ugh, easy for you to say, they haven’t managed to hurt you once!’ Pinkamena exclaimed in exasperation.
Suddenly, shards of stone flew around Rarity’s neck, she and the others staring in surprise as the shards spun, creating a large blast of white light that covered everything. When the light cleared, the unicorn’s eyes were glowing a bright white and she floated upwards and into the highest point of the castle.
“Well...” Pinkamena said; eyes wide in bewilderment. “That was....different.”
---------------------------------------------
Rarity floated beside Rainbow Dash, looking around as she regained consciousness. “oh...OHMYGOSHI’MFLYING!”
“Not quite, merely magic assisted levitation, side effect of wearing an object filled with such pure power.” Rainbow explained.
“I will not accept this!” Nightmare Moon roared.
“Neither shall I!” Sunset Shimmer shouted.
Both antagonists started to fire several, rapid blasts of magic, but the blasts dissipated before they could connect.
“Hmm well it seems the Elements do provide protection from harm.” Rainbow remarked. “Good to know. Now then, similar to Rarity, there was another pony willing to help, but she did so by giving whatever she could, be it food or even a chance to help another in a bad fate, without asking for anything in return. In fact, she even made a deal that in no way gave her anything. I am talking about Twilight Sparkle, Element of...GENEROSITY!”
The attacks intensified as Twilight was pulled in, both she and Rarity wearing choker necklaces emblazoned with their cutie marks.
“One pony stood by us, despite constant complaints and plenty of chances to save herself. She stood by us without us even needing to ask, though that did help. Applejack, Element of...LOYALTY!”
Nightmare Moon roared, her mane splitting into several clawed tendrils, trying to scratch, cut and grab at the mares, only to be torn and burned as the Elements blocked them.
Rainbow continued, now joined by Applejack, who looked very confused. “Though her change in personality creeped me out, and she could be a little too...happy, there is no other pony I can think of who knew when to deal with a situation with song and joy and, dare I say, LAUGHTER....Fluttershy!”
Nightmare Moon screamed, her body warping and moving oddly. “No! Not again! Not another thousand years imprisoned! There must be...something I can do!”
“She wasn’t always too accommodating, she saw us all as weirdos and idiots and worse, but she always spoke her mind honestly and truthfully, even if it meant she may die for it. I speak of Pinkamena, Element of HONESTY!”
Pinkamena blinked as she was pulled into the small grouping, she and Applejack sporting amulets connected to a bracer on their forehoof each. “Uhh...what’s going on?”
“Oooh!” Fluttershy squeeled. “I think this is a deus ex machina that’ll save everything instantly, just like in every novel I read!”
“STOPIT!” Nightmare Moon pleaded, her voice twisted and odd sounding.
Rainbow smirked, spreading her wings wide. “However, these five Elements are useless separately without the spark necessary to join them and the elusive sixth Element, something that is in everything in Equestria in some form, something that forms the basis of our very lives in subtle and unseen ways as well as the grandiose....Shimmer had guessed what it was, but failed to see it in its entirety. The Element I seem to embody, by process of elimination...MAGIC!” A burst of white flowed through her as streams of magic in varying colours flowed from each element and into each other, spiralling together into Rainbow’s element. “However, magic is not the spark! Even magic is useless without something to bind it, and what binds harmony together?” She looked at the five other mares, most of whom were bewildered except for Fluttershy, who was grinning excitedly, and Rarity, who looked giddy at seemingly flying somewhat. The blue Pegasus smiled. “It may not always look the same, and may not always be called the same thing, but this spark is what allowed me to see these mares as more than just ponies helping me...this spark, that joins our elements and which not even someone as brilliant and talented as Sunset Shimmer could recognise...the reason she couldn’t activate the sixth element and in turn the other five, was that she lacked the spark....OF FRIENDSHIP!”
With that, a burst of magic burst from each Element, coalescing into a massive raibow of pure magic. Nightmare Moon turned to flee, only to fall to the ground, unable to move normally for some reason.
“No...This worthless body is failing me...” She screamed, not with her own voice, but with a deeper, darker sound. She turned, wide eyed as the magic slammed against her, screaming at the top of her lungs as she was consumed in the bright magical light.
The six mares floated gently to the ground as the Elements effect on them had ended. They stared as the magic around Nightmare Moon dissipated, revealing a small, purplish filly with a short blue mane. She stared up at them fearfully, tears in her eyes.
“What...have I done...?” She sobbed. “What...did I TRY to do...? I’m so...so sorry...”
Shimmered, trotting over. “Look at you...weakened, helpless...I can easily finish you now...I will prove that I am better...” She chuckled cruelly but stopped as Rarity jumped in front of her. “Get out of my way!”
“No!” Rarity stomped her hooves. “She is sorry about what she did! She’s just a child!”
“No she isn’t, she’s the Princess of the Night, Nightmare Moon! She must be destroyed before she can attempt her plan again!” Shimmer grabbed Rarity with her magic, tossing her aside, making the other unicorn yelp in surprise. “I REFUSE to let you....COMMONERS steal the glory and fame I deserve. I am going to finish this fight once and for all, and nopony can stop me!”
“Sunset, I implore you to stop.”
The yellow unicorn froze, wide eyed, turning to look at Princess Celestia, who had suddenly appeared; standing in the middle of the room.
“P-Princess!” Shimmer cried out nervously. “W-why are you stopping me!? She is your worst enemy!”
“No she isn’t.” The white winged unicorn walked towards the former Princess, smiling warmly. “I missed you, my sister.”
“S-Sunny...”
The two ponies embraced each other tightly, tears falling from them both.
Shimmer gasped. “I-I see now! You planned this all along! That’s why you weren’t at the Summer Sun Celebration! This was all a test for me!”
Celestia glared. “No. Nothing that happened tonight was a plan, some scheme to test my student’s abilities or worth. When I was told the prophecy, I didn’t even believe it was true.”
Rainbow frowned. “Then why weren’t you at the Celebration tonight?”
Celestia blushed and looked away. “Well when you live as long as I have you...sometimes you forget certain things...”
Spike gasped, mouth hanging open. “The biggest holiday in Equestria...the most important day of the year...You FORGOT!?”
“Well it’s not like I don’t raise the sun every day.” Celestia pointed out. “Days tend to blur...”
The dragon face faulted, groaning in annoyance.
“A-anyway...” Celestia coughed lightly. “As I was saying, when a grey Pegasus came to me and...explained the situation to me, I got flew here as fast as I could. When I saw a multicoloured light come from this castle, I flew in to investigate...to find my elder sister, restored to her true self, before her corruption, and my own student threatening to harm her.” She glared at Sunset Shimmer.
“B-but she is dangerous! She will unleash eternal night on Equestria!” The yellow unicorn argued.
Celestia sighed. “Sunset, I thought you were smarter than this...doesn’t it seem strange to you how Luna looks different now than she did before?”
Rainbow’s eyes widened. “You mean...she was possessed!?”
Celestia nodded. “It happened right in front of me...Luna was angry, arguing with me, over how much she wanted to be greater appreciated for her beautiful night....I...I admit I didn’t help matters...we were arguing, shouting...then, a dark shadow covered my sister, changing her into Nightmare Moon. I was forced to use the Elements, but they couldn’t purify her...only seal her away....forever, or so I thought...” Tears were falling from her eyes and she looked away.
“Wait, why couldn’t the Elements purify her then as they did now?” Rainbow asked, confused.
Celestia sighed. “I...I didn’t know how they worked...My sister and I have only used them once before...” She looked at the Pegasus in puzzlement. “Tell me..what did you do that was so different?”
“Nothing.” Rainbow answered. “The power isn’t simply in the elements themselves. I don’t know how you got them to work, but I do know, or at least a have enough reason to believe, that the Element only work best when sparked with friendship.”
Celestia stared, eyes wide. “Friendship...? That is the big secret of the Elements...” She started to cry again. “No wonder...”
Rainbow and the others were growing uncomfortable at the apparent vulnerability of their wise and respected ruler. “So, I’m guessing Nightmare Moon is over and done with?”
The smaller winged unicorn stepped forward, snuggling close to her sister’s side. “Yes...I...I can no longer feel my thoughts clouded over...at the very least, I am no longer an active part of the Nightmare....”
Rarity and Twilight smiled. “Well that’s good, at least now you can start anew, perhaps patch things up with your sister.”
Luna looked up at her sister. “I would like that.”
“As would I.” Celestia smiled.
Pinkamena, who had been silent for a long time, suddenly blurted. “How is the little filly the ELDER sister!?”
Everypony blinked, the five mares looking between the two princesses, Celestia silent for a long while before giggling.
“Oh! You don’t think I’ve ALWAYS looked like this do you?”
Pinkamena blushed. “It was a legitimate question...”
“Wait!” Celestia stopped laughing as all eyes turned to Spike, who had spoken. “Where is Sunset Shimmer?”
They all looked around, Rarity and Fluttershy exploring the castle along with Luna and Celestia, but neither hide nor hair could be found of Celestia’s student.
-------------------------------
In the Everfree forests, a lone unicorn walked, grumbling under her breath.
“Simply forgot....just forgave her...friendship...worthless! All of her teachings are pointless! Celestia isn’t some all powerful being, she’s just an idiot! Her and all the rest! I am...better than them all, better than even Celestia! And I’ll prove it too...one day...”
As she walked, she didn’t notice a faint shadow crawl across the ground, following her slowly, reaching out for her.
--------------------------------------------------
The sun rose and all of Equestria rejoiced as normality was restored. Or so it seemed.
First came the biggest shock: the villain who had tried to take over Equestria had, rather than be imprisoned once again, somehow reformed and was now standing alongside her sister, looking unsure but proud. The populace, though wary, trusted their Princess’ judgement and welcomed the winged unicorn filly warmly.
The other shock was more private. Rainbow stood beside Celestia within the rather unique public library/house that was in the centre of Ponyville.
“Y-you mean it!?” Rainbow gasped, smiling wide. “I can really live here!?”
“Well, i couldn’t dare separate you from your friends, and we do need all the Elements together in a safe place any case anything like Nightmare Moon would ever rise again.” The monarch smiled serenely. “Besides, I feel you will be more comfortable here than at Canterlot, where hardly anyone talks to you despite your fame.”
Rainbow blushed. “Yeah...I-I never realised how famous I had become...” She looked up at the Princess. “But...I mean...a knighthood? Isn’t that a little...far?”
“Not at all, after all, you are the holder of our land’s greatest weapon, lacking a better phrase to describe the Elements.” She winked. “Don’t worry; you aren’t part of the Royal guard, so you don’t have to wear any of that armour all the time. However, I will supply a lightweight uniform to wear for public events.”
Rainbow chuckled. “Gee thanks...but, I get the feeling there’s something else.”
Celestia sighed. “Indeed...I...I really messed up, to be perfectly frank. Not just forgetting such an important event, but filing to understand the very fundamental nature of the Elements, and failing to save my sister so many years ago...I...I had even failed to teach my student the things that REALLY mattered...” She looked Rainbow dead in the eye, her gaze stern. “I want you to send me special reports, ‘lessons’ if you will, on friendship, how it works, whatever you can think of. I need to learn from this, just in case...” She trailed off. “In return,I will teach you what I know about magic.”
Rainbow smirked. “So we’ll teach each other?”
“You are not my student, Sunset is. However, that doesn’t mean we aren’t equals in this.” She smiled. “I look forward to your reports, Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow grinned. “And I look forward to learning from you, Princess.”
“Please, we’re past formalities by now.” Celestia smirked. “Call me Celestia, or whatever you please.”
“Uh sure thing...Celly.” Rainbow groaned “Sorry that’s gonna take some getting used to.”
“No problem. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to help my sister get reacquainted on how Equestria functions after so many years imprisoned. Good day to you Miss Dash."
Spike walked up to Rainbow, having finished unpacking. “So...the Princess’ friendship tutor huh?”
Rainbow grinned. “Hey, what can I say? I’m the Element of Magic, so of coruse she’ll be learning from the best. After all, Friendship is Magic.”
There was a long silence.
“Rainbow...that was really cheesy.”
Rainbow giggled and hugged the dragon. “What would I do without you, Spike?”
“I dunno...sleep all day?”
The Pegasus giggled, lifting the dragon onto her back with her magic, stepping out. “Well, time to head off. Fluttershy’s party is gonna start soon and I’d hate to miss it.”
Spike smirked, eyes glazing at the thought of the yellow Pegasus. “Well lead on, Sister!”
The two headed off, Rainbow humming a soft tune, thinking of how just much their lives had changed in only two days.
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Hey great story buut one question does the mane 6 have different cutie marks i mean i belive you told us what rainbow dash was but not the others do they even have one because in chapter one you said that rarity was a blank flank but other than that good story and very interesting
4006611 yes this was bothering me since I COMPLETELY FORGOT to expand on that, but yes, their cutie marks are all different. Rainbow Dash's
is like Twilight's except rainbow coloured, Rarity 
is a blank flank because she hasn't discovered her special talent yet, Applejack's 
is a quilt/fabric in the shape of an apple held together by sewing thread and a needle, Pinkamena's 
is a rock, Twilight's 
is an old timey soda pop bottle, and Fluttershy's 
is a smiling white bird.
Ok guys I am working on another story set in this universe so it seems I'm officially making this a verse! whoo!
I do have plenty ideas of what to do next :3 but do feel free to try a hand at this verse yourselves, if you so desire.
Will Rainbow Dash be beating anybody up in this story? Also, shouldn't this have a Rainbow Dash tag?
4251136 she might....and this has a mane six tag, adding an RD tag would be redundant
4555708 That's addressed in chapter 3
also I'm glad you're enjoying it...I think? XD
4803947 XD were you trying to emulate the Team four star?
Now I'm a giant monkey!
Oh no now I'm not a monkey!
Oh no now the kid's a monkey!
4804292
Yeah, a little bit.
Fun story. It felt a little rough, and some of the characters felt like total personality changes at first, rather than the same characters who happened to grow up under different circumstances, but I think on the whole, it worked out when you gave the explanations.
I would take a small issue with the idea that Rainbow suddenly figured out how to use spell-type magic and it didn't lead to a rush of other pegasi and earth ponies following her example, but considering some of the things that go on in the actual show without anypony batting an eye, I figure it's just an Equestria thing.
4804729 hehe glad you enjoyed it at least. I never claimed to be a good writer, I just try to write to the best of my ability.
I have tons of plans for future stories set in this verse, and have ideas for changes with certain other characters too.Currently thinking I should write a couple stories in this verse concurently, particularly for ideas that are more or less one shots
As for the Rainbow Dash learning magic thing and noone else wanting to try it...I'd say its more like most pegasi aren't that interested or know much about it, same for most earth ponies Basically, the idea here is that Pegasi wing bones are made of the same stuff as unicorn horns, allowing them to utilize magic, its just slightly mroe difficult and restricts flight movement. (though if I had rainbow use magic and fly at the same time at any point, then that's a mistake i need to correct). Okay the explanation sounds kinda handwavey, but what can ya do?
4804765 It's a world full of talking magic ponies. A little 'hoof'waving is to be expected.
4804910 hehe
“What are you so scared about? Pinkamena grumbled irritably. “You’re a dragon.”
Pinkamena?
5124972 Someone already did that kind of comment, and a little better to be hoenst o3o
5125091 She's just calld Pinkamena, not Pinkie. In this universe Pinkie is a nicname some of the characters will call her, which she hates.
Its basically a running gag.
5398601 yeah the cutie marks are an oversight on my part, I completely forgot to mention them aside from rarity being a blankflank. I did leave a comment somewhere down here explaining their cutie marks in detail. And yes its Pinkamena, not Pinkie, who's in ponyville on business, but I do imagine the rock farm not being too far from ponyville.
5399472 we shall see
5398993 Thanks for the response, and I look forward to reading the description of these cutie marks (when you remember where you put them.)
As for this story, I was made aware of this story due to 'Spectrum of the Rainbow' being added to The Good Prince group. I then went looking for the original story and decided to read it. I love reading retellings for the formation of the 'Mane Six'. I have to say, I really liked what you did with it. Rainbow Dash gaining the ability to use magic, yet not being Celestia's personal student. Rarity, once a clothes designer in the making, getting inspired to gain the ability to fly. Applejack seeing how a dress brought her happiness, felt the need to make dresses to make others fell that same happiness. Fluttershy becoming Ponyville Party Pony(?)...Weird, but believable, though I want to meet the pony that help her to become this way. Twilight becoming a farmer, after her family lost their standing and wealth. And Pinkamena, whose cutie mark should be a grumpy rock, just happening to be in Ponyville on business (BTW, it takes a train ride to get from the rock farm to Ponyville, so the walk can't be that short.)
I do have to say, I think that, except for Twilight, you represented their elements well. Fluttershy laughing along wanting to be friends with an ursa minor; Rarity helping Sunset,knowing full well, that her efforts would not be appreciated; Pinkamena being honest with the beast despite thinking it would cost them their lives; and Applejack coming along to stick by her friends for the right reason, despite what it did to her clothes. I just don't see how Twilight making that one-sided deal, represented Generosity.
As for the end, I loved how Luna was the older sister and being in the moon stunted her growth. Celestia dropping the ball, and admitting it. I do wonder what will happen to those bat ponies. Will we see them again? I also have to wonder where the Apples are now? After all, Granny Smith did help to found Ponyville.
So, I'll try to keep up with this AU.
5399649 :3 your comment has been the most detailed and insightful. Yeah I agree Twilight's 'test' is the weakest but the idea is that here generosity has become so ingrained into her that when trying to come up with a bargain she doesn't even think about getting anything in return for giving somepony something (whether it be food, money or physical assistance) but yeah I see your point. And so far I don't know about the bat ponies, but they'll likely come up again at some point (also they're called nightsteeds ehre cause its cool).
and yeah, of all the explanations for celestia's disappearance during Nightmare Moon's return, the one possible reason I never seen anywhere was simply she forgot to go. It makes her more....fallible, plus its funny.
I have so far not seen any feedback for the first one shot in Spectrum in the rainbow, so I'm curious what you thought of it, and yes alternate universe takes on the mane six are probably my fave story types as well here on fimfic.
If you're curious about the Apple family, they do get a small bit of focus in this story's first direct sequel, Apple to the Core.
also, since you can't seem to find the original comment about the cutie marks I'll just repost it here:
yes this was bothering me since I COMPLETELY FORGOT to expand on that, but yes, their cutie marks are all different. Rainbow Dash's
is like Twilight's except rainbow coloured, Rarity 
is a blank flank because she hasn't discovered her special talent yet, Applejack's 
is a quilt/fabric in the shape of an apple held together by sewing thread and a needle, Pinkamena's 
is a rock, Twilight's 
is an old timey soda pop bottle, and Fluttershy's 
is a smiling white bird.
How did that happen?
Also, since everypony's element looks like their cutie mark, what does Rarity's element look like? Will it change when/if she does find her special talent?
5400486 well here the elements are not shaped after their cutie marks, taking on the forms of different accesories so you cna tell them apart by their colour and shape. For more details I'll need to reread my description for them in the chapter.
Twilight got her cutie mark by invented her family's number one best selling product: sodie pop.
5444600
I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say.
I have to admit this was a pretty darn good story. :-D Love the alternate takes on the main characters. :-D I also love how you made Celestia a little more - well, equine, without making her a total jerk.
5973202 hehe thanks :3 who's your favourite altered take on the mane six here?
In all honesty, it's a tie between your Rainbow and your Twilight. Though your Fluttershy is a VERY close second.
5974851 oh? may I ask why?
Well, Rainbow combines the best aspects of her canon self with the best aspects of Twilight's canon self.
Twilight and Fluttershy both learned how to make the best of bad situations until those situations actually worked out for the best. As a result Twilight became a bit more optimistic, but not even close to an idiot (even if she IS still a bit naive in some aspects, it's entertainingly so) and Fluttershy also ended up adopting the best aspects of Pinkie's canon personality in addition to her love of animals.
5976481 Indeed XD
Rainbow Dash being the Element of Magic? Hm, sounds slightly similar to my fic, really. The major difference being that she harnesses the Magic of Friendship (rather than regular magic) in my fic to turn into a white, flaming-maned super pony. =P
Still, interesting premise you got here. ^_^
6268084 XD thanks
any other thoughts on the story and universe thus far, may I ask?
6270489 Not really, I'm afraid. Some fanart of your fic on DA led me here.
6271406 ah I see :3 well as long as you enjoyed it
Well, after finishing this story, I have two things to say:
1. Now I'm interested in reading the rest of the stories in your universe thanks to this story alone.
2. You should do some kind of crossover story where your version of the mane 6 meet their canon counterparts.
6345679 hehe I'd love to hear what you think of my stories so if you need any help in finding them, let me know.
I did have ideas for a crossover story, but said ideas would at the very least need for it take place after 'season one' of this verse, or more properly, after I do the story set during the grand galloping gala.
6345876 All right.
Can't wait to eventually see it.
6346288 XD do you mind if I ask what your thoughts on this story were?
6346454 It was interesting and a fun read.
6346457 alright :3 hope you enjoy the sequels
6346777 I'm sure I will.
In fact, I actually read your Cutie Mark Crusaders story before I read this one, and despite some initial confusion, I got invested in that one.
Can't wait for that to be updated.
6346932 hehe I'll work on it as soona s I get some old stuff off my old computer's harddrive.
it's a long story. do comment on my fics once you read them :3
6348717 I'll be sure to.
6599683 XD is that a fact?
7023423 the sparkles offset that with the use of machinery and their own magic on occasion, plus they tend to several crops rather than just the one thing, so their products are more broad and cater to different tastes.
Basically, they may not be as good as Earth Ponies, but they aren't BAD at it.
Well certainly interesting and pulled me in . Each character unque . I'll check out the other works as well .
Not really good a judging though but I liked it .
Oh aslo I saw too typos -hvae - and not about Y.
7039400 alright
Alright, I will try my best to leave detailed feedback like I did for a few others ^^; I'll warn you that it could get pretty long though, and it will probably be disorganized :/ (I promise that my non-conversational writing is better!
)
I certainly like the story! It's a fresh look at everything had things happened differently, and stands on its own: it doesn't feel like a 'mirroring' of the canonical MLP: FiM where everything happens similarly but the characters are switched around, are opposites, or something of the like. Each character is unique, and I can see how events led to them being different, although in some aspects, like someone earlier mentioned, they do feel like completely different people (the main six mostly). That's not a bad thing though; I think it makes your story stand out.
). Maybe we can see some more of her? And especially more of her spending time re-connecting with her sister :3
I also like her knowledgeable side and how it fits into her character: she isn't as didactic or analytical as Twilight would be, which would be unlike her.
I love that Princess Celestia is a bit of a goof—unlike the "wise, powerful ruler" archetype—I think it's quite endearing and makes her more relatable (not that I like the canonical Celestia any less
As for Sunset Shimmer, I felt that she was sometimes a little too crazy and her reactions felt a little unnatural. As a whole, I think it worked, but just some parts didn't feel right. I have to wonder how her teachers and peers liked her though (as said in the prologue), with that selfish and arrogant (not to mention rude) attitude...
I think Rainbow was really well-done though! She has a sense of humility, and can be confident without being overbearing, even when she can still be cocky sometimes.
Hmm...I think sometimes your flow was broken up a little, and would go from slow to fast with some details lost in the process (I think this was mostly part 2, but I would find myself re-reading small sections of it to make sure I understood what was happening). I think there were a few sections where there needed to be more detail, or conversely, ones that needed less detail. I think one thing that goes along with this is places where e.g. "Applejack" could be used instead of "the earth pony" (not in every case, but in some, it would probably be helpful to flow), which is something like what this site's writing guide refers to as "Lavender Unicorn Syndrome" (though I don't think it's that extreme XD). Similarly, I think there are a few things that are too wordy.
Okay... one more thing that's somewhat on that point. Some sentences could be more descriptive in how they show the characters' feelings and reactions, or even just describing scenes—for example, the imposing figure of the derelict Castle of the Two Sisters and the thick mist surrounding it (which reminds me...where did the chasm with the bridge before the castle go? :O ), or how Nightmare Moon's cackle resounded through the vast, empty chambers of the castle.
I also felt like the 'evidence' (for lack of a better term) for some of the element-bearers showing their embodiment of their element was a bit weak, but it wasn't the strongest in the canonical episodes either. I think it's hard to write that effectively while also making it fit seamlessly into the story and not feel like a 'plot device' >.<
You do have a few mistakes here and there with grammar or typos, or other things, like "six awesome mares" instead of "five awesome mares" and Nightmare Moon being re-described at the beginning of part 2 right after being described at the end of part 1, but I won't list them all, at least not in this post, since that would take up a lot of space (as if this comment didn't already) >.< Some can be a little distracting but overall the story is fine. I wouldn't mind editing for you or anything like that, but only if you wanted...I wouldn't want to be a bother.
Umm....I'm sure I've missed something, but oh well. I hope this helps ^.^;; I think it's a story (and alternate universe) with a lot of potential! :3
7463259 yeah sadlyI tend to prefer lavender unicorn syndrome a fair bit since personally I feel just constantly writing 'so-and-so said' gets monotnous, so I use 'lavender unicorn syndrome' to break that up.
and yeah my writing's pretty...up and down in terms of quality I do admit.
I do tend to write chapters at different intervals (I took several days to write part 2, took a break and then took a few days to get chapter 3 down) this is largely cause I am lazy and while I do recheck older chapters before I write, sometimes I miss something.
And yeah, I do find some of the justifciations for the elements to be weak, so you're not alone there. (specifically, twilight)
I am glad you liked it overall and hope you enjoy other stories in this universe
7463326 Hehe, that's okay. It's not necessarily always a bad thing; I think it's really a balancing act >.<
Awww, it's okay, it happens...especially when each chapter is written at a different time, and you might be tired or upset or whatever it may be while writing a given chapter (I need to go back through my story's first chapter for that reason; I wrote the first half and second half on different days, and I was feeling very different on each given day, meaning the first part is crap :P) Or in a longer story, writing quality might even improve over time such that there's a disparity between the earlier and later chapters.
And that's alright. I think it's good to write when you feel like it, rather than try to push yourself to write when you don't (of course, I'm guilty of doing such a thing myself >.<) Missing a few things when re-reading previous chapters is understandable though, I'm sure it happens to everyone
Sometimes it can be good to have a break from your writing though so that you have a new perspective when you look back over it. I suppose having editors to look over your work also helps since they might see things that you don't (which makes me wonder how much I miss without any editors or really anyone to pre-read or give me feedback at all D: ).
Hmm...yes, I thought so too. Twilight, and perhaps Pinkamena as well...mainly because although she was being honest, I feel it didn't really exemplify harmony, if that makes sense. >.<
Of course! I'll be happy to keep reading, and hopefully write soon as well :)
7838275 no you're allowed to say what you want no matter what : 3 I comment on old stuff too and offer unneccesary advice
Good work on this story.