Cobblestones

by Masterweaver

New Days - A tale for Dusty the Royal Janitor

Intellectually, Luna understood that a thousand years would cause a lot of changes, and many of them were, she admitted, for the better. Public schools might have been inefficient compared to apprenticeships, yes, but they also provided crucial skills to ponies who would otherwise be relegated to frivolity by their emblem. Trains were loud, smoggy, and rickety things which she would personally never use, but they were swift, far-reaching, and far safer than most forms of transportation. The princess of the night would never dream of relinquishing her precious abacus, especially after it survived her absence; she did, however, see the beginnings of something wondrous in the odd computational machines that well-off researchers like Twilight Sparkle collected and constructed for their work.

So, she reasoned, there was a perfectly rational explanation as to why her maid was arguing with some other pony. Loudly. Outside her locked door. Which, in deference to the the cultural disparity, she had emblazoned with a bright glowing letters that read THY PRINCESS IS SLEEPING DO NOT DISTURB in clear, bold font.

At least, Luna was mostly certain she had put the words up.

She considered checking, of course, but the way her blankets had wrapped around her barrel precluded any disturbances. She deigned, instead, to merely fold her ears back and wait.

And wait.

And. Wait.

The conversation grew louder.

Luna prodded her pillow with a hoof, considering its density. Perhaps it would make a decent muffler? Her thoughts swam through the grating fog of her mind, unformed and shallow; eventually, they came to a simple conclusion of Why Not. The azure muzzle burrowed under the pink lace with determination; there was a moment of hesitation when her horn blocked further progress, before it lit up for a brief instant and flung the object over her flattened ears.

As an afterthought, the sheets glowed and enveloped her head.

The breaths of the azure muzzle were slow, almost deliberately so. The eyelids that had once, not so long ago, born ink of arrogance and pride, now lowered. The feathered wings twitched once, twice, thrice in the cocoon, and...

...and...

...and...

And with an angry sigh, Luna flung the sheets off and rose, deliberately smacking the ground with each hoofstep. Right, this was getting ridiculous. She grabbed her tiara, smacking it on her head without a wince, levitated on her gorget, shoved her hooves into her sabatons, gave her make-up a brief glance before snorting, and marched up to the door which swung wide open.

"Hello, faithful servant and friend. What ails thee?"

The maid glanced at her princess, taking in the left shoe on the right hoof, the chestpiece on backwards, the crown that hung askew off her horn, and the lips pulled up to reveal grinding teeth in what could technically be considered a smile.

She swallowed.

"...it... it was nothing, your majesty--"

"Oh come on Stargleam," the stallion interrupted her. "She's right there! Now's the perfect opportunity to ask!"

"Look, if the doctors aren't going to be able to fix it, what makes you think she can?!"

"She's the princess of the night! I mean--"

Luna let out a little growl. Only a little one. "Which one of you is having the issue."

The stallion blinked, and slowly raised a hoof. "I can't seem to, uh--" He yelped and blushed as Luna's horn lit up. "Hey, what are you--?!"

"It is fixed. Go forth, ye two, and have many foals with Our blessing. Away from here." The door slammed shut before he could offer any thanks.

Luna took a in a deep breath, closed her eyes, and slowly let it out. Well, helping out marriages, or whatever relationship that had been, was certainly a worthwhile cause, and she supposed that those particular problems should be aired away from lunar court. Still, she was eager to return to her bed and....

...stare at the strange pony standing on it.

"Ah, hmm." The pegasus fluttered his green wings. "Well... this is a touch of awkward."

Luna lowered her horn. "Excuse me. What art thou doing in mine room?"

"It's complicated." The pegasus glanced around, stepping off the bed. "You see, I.... was commissioned. To do... something. Here. Yes." He smiled awkwardly. "Yeeeep, but it turns out I took a wrong turn."

"...Thou art a thief."

He held up a hoof. "Technically I'm an anti-thief, kinda. I'm hired to test security! So that real thieves can't... you're not buying this, are you."

Luna snorted.

"Ah.... okay, see, I thought maaaaaaybe you would be asleep right about now, and it's not like you need every single bit of jewelry that you have, right?" The pegasus moved slowly closer to her dresser, trailed by her horn. "And, you know, a pony has to make a living. I tried to get a job, really I did. And... uh..." On of his hooves went behind his neck. "Technically, I was hired to test your security. By Celestia. She, um... said I could keep anything I managed to steal..."

The princess of the night stared at the winged interloper for a long moment.

"...thou hast been caught. Had We actually been asleep when you entered the room, thou wouldst be dead. Only by the way We are cognizant enough to recognize thee as not truly being threatening hast thou been spared." She narrowed her eyes. "Now, leave."

"...ys'm." The pegasus scrambled for the door and made his way out.

Luna trotted to her bed, flounced in, and shut her eyes.

It took her a good fifteen minutes, but she finally managed to achieve a comfortable position again. Her eyelids fluttered closed, her foreleg wrapped around the pillow, and the chanting started.

Wait. What?

"Ave usque ad stellam equa, nostris vindictae diva! Cito proferte finem solem tyrannidem! Sit lunam et eris ductor noster lumen! Nam somnum exterreri solebat!"

Luna groaned. The chanting wasn't even properly translated. She pulled her sheets back once again, standing, adorning herself, and opening the door. Five ponies, garbed in what looked for all the world like star-covered blankets, had thrown themselves at her hooves.

"Praise be to the bringer of night and slayer of day!"

"....what."

The leader of the ponies--or at least the center one--looked up from his prone position. "Oh blessed mare of the moon, we beg of you! Do justice unto this land, and strike at the heart of corruption! For too long has the sun blinded ponies to their own sins, and so do the cruel and foolish gain power. We ask for your firm hoof in our life!"

"Bringer of night We may be, but to slay Our sister is not in Our plans."

One of the ponies rose slightly. "What? But the fool of the sun sits on the throne!"

The alicorn looked down on him with thin lips. "As is her duty. When the sun sets, We will take the throne. Until then, We wish to rest."

"But, but... it was said there was no rest for Nightmare Moon!"

Luna's eyes narrowed.

***

It was calm and peaceful in the bedchamber of princess Luna as she slumbered away, breath rising and falling in a gentle rhythm.

At least, until a polite but firm knocking came at her door, bashing her out of her dreams.

The princess of the night did not even open her eyes. Her lungs filled with air, her neck twitched ever so slightly, and the faintest of glows flickered from her horn.

"WE. ARE. SLEEPING."

"It's time to raise the moon, sister."

Luna blinked. She glanced at the clockwork contrivance on her dresser.

Then she stood up, walking to the door and throwing it open. Ignoring Celestia's polite smile, she trotted down the hall and stepped out to her balcony. In one swift move the moon jolted up into the sky.

There was a plaintive voice from below. "Ah... princess... will you pull us up now?"

Luna glanced over the railing of the balcony, smiling at the five star-covered sacks. "Wouldst thou ask We slay our sister?"

"....maybe just a coup--"

"Shut up!" The nearest pony swang ineffectually at his partner. "Just shut up. Okay? Up the shut, zip lips, stuff your piehole, we are lucky we're not dead because of you!"

The stallion pouted. "But.... Celestia is weak! This just proves Luna is strong--"

"When you all have reached a decision, let me know." The blue alicorn trotted back inside.

"Ah, Luna." Celestia tapped her hoof. "Did you know, I had the strangest visit from a pegasus today? He said that--"

"Yes, pretend thief, claimed you hired him, I threatened to kill him... My apologies, sister, but for the next two hours I am going to be taking what I believe is called a power nap." She stomped quickly back to her room and slammed the door.

Celestia stared after her for a moment. After a moment, she shrugged.

Author's Note:

"...and that, I believe, is that."

The janitor raised an eyebrow at the storyteller. "I've worked many days at the palace and I've never heard that particular story. Are you certain it's true?"

"Hmmm. Let me have some mystery, friend." The storyteller bowed, gathering up his meal. "I thank you kindly for your assistance. But now I must be off. Maybe we will meet again." He turned and walked away.

Comments

[Super Trampoline]

Nice plug in the description.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Huh. Not just an amusing Luna story, a fascinating exercise in framing devices. Thank you for it, even if it was technically for someone else.

[Canadian Cactus]

A nice little ficlet and an interesting framing device, count me in.

[Dusty the Royal Janitor]

That was really fun! Thank you so much for writing this! I laughed really hard at the bit with the cult. Also the authors notes were a really nice touch!

Thanks again, a whole bunch! I loved reading this! You put so much great work into your writing.

[Prawo Jazdy]

Not sure what you mean by "distrebans." Was something lost in a document transfer?