• Published 23rd Mar 2012
  • 8,539 Views, 276 Comments

From man to mare: Chaotic convergence - The Psychopath



Derry Wilhall, now a mare, will go through more dark times in his new life.

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 8,539

Forceful living

Silver awoke in an infirmary. The stoned walls and barred windows indicated that she was within the Canterlot castle walls once again. She had bandages all over her body. Struggling to get up, the former human noticed Cyclon sleeping on the floor near her, with Rarity reading a magazine on fashion. Silver rubbed her head in pain as a piercing headache formed itself.

"Silver?" asked Rarity.

"Yeah? What happened? How did I get here? I remember being swept up by some dolt-"

"SILVER!"

Rarity jumped on me, causing the searing pain to spike all over my body. A loud yelp and Cyclon literally jumped high enough to hit his head on the roof and fall back down.

"Oh! I'm sorry dear. It's just that you've been out cold for so long."

"How long?"

"About a week."

"A WEEK?!"

"Yes. Ow...you don't remember what happened?"

"Remem-"

Where are these memories coming from? Strange creatures swirling around me...insults...bad memories...Cyclon?

"You...you saved me Cyclon?"

"Yes...it was my job...and something else..."

"I didn't hear that last part."

"Nothing."

Why was he blushing? Why did I feel warm inside thinking about him? It wasn't a bad feeling but...still. Rarity smirked, and the doors leading to the infirmary blasted open. Bullseye was there with a pair of ponies from his personal retinue. They wore emerald armor that completely covered their bodies. It was pretty awesome to see. It looked like the royal guard armor, but just think of it as being more spikey and slanted.

"Cyclon. Take Silver and Rarity and come with us. We must reach the princesses at once."

"Sir. As much as I want to obey those orders, I cannot."

"And why, exactly?"

"Silver is still too wounded from the physical stress of that...event...and cannot hope to move properly."

Bullseye rubbed his chin but quickly came up with an idea.

"Then grab a medical stretcher and place her on it. You are her bodyguard, it's your duty that she sees what must be done."

"*sigh*. Yes, sir."

I preferred to not say anything. Rarity helped me out of the bed and placed me onto the stretcher. She lift the back side with her magic while Cyclon placed the straps on his back. They started walking me out of the infirmary, and into an open hallway. There was a small garden in the middle of this area. The right side of the walls all had openings, and only a rail made of interconnected, small pillars kept anyone from entering it. It wasn't anything impressive though. Just a fountain and tons of plants.

Like usual, I was taken to the main throne room. Lots of guards were waiting in front of the door and were blocking any entry to the castle. The doors opened to show that Twilight and the other three ponies were waiting at the base of the throne...wait...three?

"SURPRISE!"

"AH! OW!"

Pinkie Pie popped out of nowhere above me and threw confetti in my face.

"Why would you do that?" I asked.

"I'm sorry. I just thought that a party would be great for your recovery. Celestia just called us now, saying that you would wake up, so I didn't have any time to prepare anything."

"That's alright. I don't think I will need it."

Celestia and Luna had flown down from their perch atop the throne, and stepped in front of me.

"Silver, you have been accused of working with Discord, what do you plead?" said Celestia.

"...guilty..."

"Then you must be punished-"

"WHAT?!" Cyclon seemed to rage. "You of all ponies should know of Discord's deceptive abilities and what he did. Twilight and I even went inside of her mind to find her and save her. It's Discord's fault, not her's! If you want to punish somepony, then you might as well punish me!"

Luna and Celestia looked at each other in surprise.

"What are you talking about? We aren't going to kill her or banish her." said Luna

"What? But you just said-"

"-I wasn't finished. As I was saying, Silver will be punished, but she will have to "lay low" for awhile. Her punishment is staying away from her friends for the time being." answered Celestia.

"But princess, she has no home. Where will she live?" asked Twilight.

"Well, she can't live with either of you, and she isn't a pegasi...she'll live with Cyclon Opal."

"What?!" we both yelled

"Don't I have a say in this?"

"NO!" screamed the two princesses.

"But I hardly have any room to fit her. And why should I house Silver?"

Bullseye was busy suppressing a laughter, as were all the other guards. Luna started to prance about Cyclon and me.

"Perhaps because you are her personal bodyguard? You have to watch over her. Besides, this will allow you both to get in better relations with each other."

"*sigh*. Fine! But can I at least talk with the girls?"

"Go ahead." replied Celestia.

I tried to get up, but to no avail. Rainbow Dash pushed me back down and promised that we would have the fastest race ever when I could get back. I accepted her challenge. Besides apologies, we talked about several things with each other, most notably of how it was like to wield the powers of chaos and what it was like in my mind. After about fifteen minutes, the princesses called the six mares off. Some royal guards placed me in a carriage for Cyclon to pull. He was being given a week of R&R. I thought he lived in Canterlot. I was wrong. He actually lived a few towns further away. Not too far, but just in some plains close to Canterlot. A bit of jogging and you were already at the castle. It was just a single house that he had built there to allow him ample movement for his daily training.

While he pulled the cart I was on closer to the greens of his house, I couldn't help but feel some form of affection for him. Well, if I feel this, and I'm never going to be able to get rid of it, might as well let them consume me. Let's see how he deals with me.


Hopefully, this ending isn't rushed like the way you all felt with last time. I MIGHT make a third...but not now. I have another idea for a story, and I currently lost interest in the previous one I was writing. Until I get interested in dark stories again, you won't see it updated.

Comments ( 121 )

Epic chapter, epic story, and it's logical to say beforehoof epic secuel.
I will wait :applejackunsure:

This does feel a bit rushed to be honest. The Royal Sisters are more than fair, I don't think they would punish anyone for being corrupted by chaos like that. Furthermore, separation from her friends as a punishment just goes completely against everything Equestria stands for. The only explanation I can think of is Celestia is trying to hook up Silver and Cylon (:trollestia:), but nothing in the story right now justifies this.

388870 It's a figure of speach. It's not exactly a "punishment". It's just so the other guards think that Celestia still knows what she is doing. After all, who better to watch over Silver than Cyclon?(and yes, both know about their relationship through the mentions of Twilight.) And besides, many ponies certainly saw her before they evacuated, such as the cakes and the babies. How would you react if something that nearly destroyed everything around you would just come back? I think Luna experienced the problem.:trixieshiftright:

very nice run so far. i'll be holding u to that threequal

we'll need a part 3, that's too cliffhanging, but I can wait.... just too bad that there might not be a story that gets updated every day for me to read....

389155 I'm making another one...:ajbemused: It isn't the threequel,though.

waaaaaaaait a second....

when did the mane six turn into their precursors? I'm so lost it ain't funny.

:applejackconfused::derpyderp1::derpyderp2::pinkiecrazy:

392248 *Flicks off broken chainsaw teeth* You feel better now?:rainbowwild:

In case anyone cares, I started my other story: "Secret of the Silver Dragon". I know what you are thinking with the title, but it's not a self-insert.

392280 HEY BRO, IM BETTER, YOU'RE DEADER RETRO ULTRA MASTERY

393646 WHY YOU CAPSLOCK BRO?

393728 Cuz bro, i'm better, i'm stronger, where were the drugs going, buckface?

394050 That's buckin' funny, you are alright guy, I tell you.

Wwwwaaaaaiiiiiitiiiiinnnng~ for da 3quel~

420953 IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT still won't come. I haven't found a proper "action sequence" to happen later on. Plain old stories about someone's life is boring to me. For right now, I'm writing others until I can find how I want the threequel to be like.

Okie dokie lokie...:pinkiesad2: try romance if you're familiar with TV drama series. I don't know about others though! Whaddya say?

421270 I am going to use romance somewhat, but in a more "fun" mnner and not that boring scenester crap with the "head bobbing" from the women everytime she talks and gets mad. I feel like I'm seeing this gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs3/1302389_o.gif when those women start to talk on T.V. Of course, this is the light version. I'm unfamiliar love with because I don't believe in it, but I know how to simulate it based on my own observations of society.:ajbemused:

LOL dude,that kinda explains why the character seems to shrug that topic off every time she's confronted with it. Oh well,you've got your own beliefs man. Just don't let it drag you down for greater bad (:rainbowlaugh:) okay?

421291 It won't 'cause I can adapt to what happens to me. Video games have done that:moustache:. And what do you mean by "that's why the character shrugs that topic off"? You think it's me? Am ah...am ah gonna have ta go redneck on ya boeh?:eeyup:

I laughed so hard,I fell off my chair.Damn you. What I meant was,the character's like totally not interested in a relationship,and is not willing to give it a chance...only now then some signs show...urgh sucks to forecast weather...

i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Hi everypony! Stalin and Cauterium here, bringing another installation of Stalinview!

i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png ....What? Why are you looking at me like that? "Where's Misha and PD"? They are grounded!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png They dare to beat me in Super Street Fighter four eleven times! Unforgivable!

i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png *sigh*
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Anyway, Cauterium agreed to help with that Stalinview, so here we are! Let's dig into "From man to mare: Chaotic convergence "

i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png This story is in "blitz" category, so we are going to look in detail on first three chapters and then we shall make overview on the rest.

-----------------------------------

i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Khm. Seems like it's a sequel story. Oh, well. Let's not be so picky on plot details.

i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png I promise NOTHING! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...

i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Are you done yet?

i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...

i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Urgh... Just ignore him.

i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Hmmmmmmm... A man became mare or i missing something here?

i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Yep. He did. Rather unique idea i should say. Defenetely better than SEAS of autors, turning THEMSELVES into ponies. Urgh, how tasteless!
i43.tinypic.com/27zrkz.png I have a high expectations on this story. Do not fail me, autor!

i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png So, let's summarize what do we have here.

i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png - A man turned into a mare.
- Rarity wanna bring that mare together with Big Mac

i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Interesting...

"Giga Sparkle incident"
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png ...A what?
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Seems like an another "hello" from the story this one sequelize.

""Silver! What happened?! Why did you scream?" yelled a panicking Twilight.
"Nothing. Just a nightmare induced by Rarity.""
"Ha!"
"What?"
"You got a nightmare on Nightmare Night. I'm guessing that might be a sign of good luck!"
"Or bad." I rolled my eyes. Twilight just puffed at me.
"Don't be so pessimistic. Come on, let's get ready for tonight.""
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png DESCRIPTIONS! Dialogues need descriptions! Facial expressions, emotions, everything! Just walls of quotes are amateurish!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Cau, don't be so harsh on autor.
i43.tinypic.com/27zrkz.png I am doing a review, you see? Reviewers must be EVIL! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Anyway, moving on...
i43.tinypic.com/27zrkz.png ..ha-ha-ha-ha...
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png SHUT UP!

i43.tinypic.com/27zrkz.png Oh, what do we have here
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png ...What...?
i43.tinypic.com/27zrkz.png Pacing, my pacifistic friend. Pacing.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Well, have to admit that pacing is a bit off here. But this is first-person narration, so it's comepletely normal.
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Nah, it isnt
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Just shaddap, don't be so nitpicky.
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Well..
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png I AM THE MAIN DUDE HERE! So this is an order!
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Tch, fine. Asshole

"been feeling rather strange since the real Silver was killed"
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Hellloooo contnudity!

"I already forgot ot's name."
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Who is "ot"?

i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Creative costume.

--------------------------------------

"ainbow Dash dressed up as a wonderbolt,"
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Maybe Shadowbolt, not wonderbolt?

i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png This OC is clearly have some of your personality, Cau.
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png ...What?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Well, she/he like you likes to diabolically laught at random moments, for example.
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha?
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Exatly...

"Spike and I high-fived (I say whatever I want and your opinion isn't valid.)"
i43.tinypic.com/27zrkz.png Heh, dot's position here is invalid! It must be placed AFTER the bracket!

"Mare in the moon"
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Lack of Capital Letters

i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Ehhhhh... what is the purpous of this chapter? It brings almost nothing to the story, it's just describing how ponies spent Nightmare Night.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Well, it does bring incident with Rarity...
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png IN TWO PARAGRAPHS! The rest is how autor's alter ego is having fun on the Holiday
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Is that disturb you that much?
i43.tinypic.com/27zrkz.png Nah, i am just nitpicking. Or not! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha...
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Let's get to next chapter, folks!
i43.tinypic.com/27zrkz.png .. ha-ha-ha-ha...

---------------------------------------

"It was my mother. That stupid bitch had somehow made it here"
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Bah! I like that oc less and less with each her/his line
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Have to agree with you here. To insult your mother. Bad. Very bad.

i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Although this "mother" IS a biach. But still it's bad idea. Why won't you write like this about Stepmother, not normal one?

i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Autor has a problem with parents, eh. What a pity. Seriously, dude. It's first what comes to mind. Like MR T said: respect your mother!

"Even when Luna and Celestia tried to kill me"
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Hello, contnudity. AGAIN.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Whadda ya expected, toll bridge troll?
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png ...What..?

"them even if ypu"
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Heh.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png What are ypu grinning at?


i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Okay, this nchapter is SHARP contrast to previous one. Interesting things are happening here, while almost nothing happened there.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Either way, it is time for overview.



























OVERVIEW:

i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png WHOA that was some interesting story.
i43.tinypic.com/27zrkz.png Grr! WHAT THE BUCK? WHY CAN'T I FIND ANYTHING TO HATE HERE?!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Deal with it. This story has some pacing flaws, but for what it is it's Outstanding. Plot is VERY compelling and interesting, epic Discord is Epic and biach mother is biach.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Although i dislike our protagonist a bit. He/she is an asshole. Stalin don't like assholes!
i43.tinypic.com/27zrkz.png GRRR! I NEED TO HATE SOMETHING! To hell this review, i will go hate something A.S.A.P!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Go on.


i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Phew, what a troublesome fellow. Anyway, this story truly is outstanding and it gave me interest to read other stories, autor. Good going. Oh, and i won't make a stalinviews on your other stories :trollestia:


VERDICT: Highly recommended to read.

493415
Sorry, time is bottlecaps :trollestia:. Want me to look at others - do something for me :pinkiehappy:

493482i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/007/195/im%20watching%20you%20-%20copia.jpg You won't get away with-a this-u.:twilightangry2: I also see the reference that you did there Also, tell Cauterium that he is welcome within the world of Illogic, and the only price to pay to enter is his sanity. It is just a measly tool with not much importance.:pinkiecrazy:

493497
i43.tinypic.com/27zrkz.png HA! I conquered illogic when i was a colt! There is nothing in the whorld can surprise me!

493518 That hat my friend. The hat! Hmmmhahaha. *jumps in hat and plops out of Cauterium's mane with hat in hoof* Now how'd I get here?

503056 Exactly@! *brohoof to da max*

503105 The hell? Is that robocop or something? or wait... Captain Falco? omigosh haiiii falco. I love your work

503139 The pic isnt loading. I seem to have a problem with the funnyjunk pics. lol.

503160 Lol. It's a ponyfied version of Cap'n falcon saying "Show me ya hooves!".

503257 I don't like either execution, i'm a retro grandmaster, I stab n' blindfire all the fools in my path.
Cleaver execution makes me feel sorry for the one dying, just flinging their hand up, and the Lancer execution is loud and annoying.

503271 Lol. But the Cleaver is best weapon. I love the sprint for it. I'll give up a Hammerburst for a Cleaver any day. by the way.. start calling it a clever. it is better term for it. :D

503276 Duh hell... is horde all you play lad? I only play beast and versus.

503278 I don't actually own the game, or a XBox for that matter. This doesn't mean I haven't spent countless hours at friends' houses playing it. I am such a noob, lol.

503281 Yes. Yes you are. I have all three games.

503281 Ha, pathetic humon, sho weak.... no xbox... NO MEATSHIELD HRA!
If yer friend has live and ya wanna play sometime, if ever, then message INSANITYSOLDIER.... i'd be more than glad to.

503286>>503292 I'm sorry that I have an Alienware M17x, 1 Russian SKS, 1 Yugo SKS, and one Mosin nagant. I think I can live without buying an xbox and paying monthly for live. When I get bored all I have to do is write code on my laptop or shoot some of my guns with perfect accuracy. Lol.

Have fun getting eaten by zombies in a few months.

503304 A Mosin Nagat? In working condition?! Impressive. Dunno what the SKS are, and my metallic baseball bat should be a decent protection, as it'll last forever while you run out of bullets.

503314 oh there is a reason why I have 3 machetes, a kukri, a huge fuckin knife, and my friend is letting me use his combat ready swords. Also the mosin nagant is only like 140$ now days and the ammo is cheap as hell for the size of caliber it is. They are like super abundant as well; after all, they did make like 2million of them during WWII

503469 Lol so you haven't watched any Venture Bros.? It is one of the best animated comedies out there. Look it up.
It has that old school cartoon feel to it.. sorta like Johnny quest. actually.. johnny is in this show lol

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