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From Night came Chaos. From Chaos came creation. Then Chaos was bound by Night and her lover Day. Now when a mad goddess does battle with her ancient mentor, another goddess may be forced to release her mother's bindings...
This is something of a vent fic. It earns the “Dark” tag. Seriously. If you like happy endings, kittens, flowers, puppies, and happy ponies DO NOT READ THIS. It is dark and bitter and horrible. You've been warned.
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Why would you claim this to be an "incredibly dark story" that "more than earns the 'Dark' tag", but then make the chapter a Smashing Pumpkins reference?
I mean, I'll still read it because almost anything with an SP reference has to be good, but my previous question will keep me up tonight.
3937691 Maybe I meant it as a Batman reference, or a Watchmen reference.
3937709
Nah, because nobody liked that Batman movie, and nobody can remember the name of the song in any trailer, no matter how good it is.
WELL YOU DID SAY DARK. Wow.... that was very good; liked and faved.
3937745 Thank you, I'm very glad you enjoyed it!
3937720 Obviously somebody can, since I did.
Honestly it wasn't really any kind of reference to what happens in the story. It was just that the name fit the theme of the story, so I figured I might as well. Beats calling it "chapter one" when there's only one chapter anyway.
3937766
Eh, yeah. Honestly, I didn't think it was all that dark, but you still get a like and favorite for effort. Keep writing, dude.
3937777 Well, standards differ. I got some comments about "holy crap dark" for some stuff that wasn't anywhere near this bad, so better safe than sorry, etc.
Wow.. that was dark. Anyway I enjoyed it! Earns a like & favourite from me. :)
I like this story but I don't get why Harmony would be so effective against Chaos since Chaos's opposite is Order and Harmony is the opposite Discord
Oh, look. A [Grimdark] fanfic that actually has the most [Grimdark] possible ending (planetary omnicide). Color me impressed.
Universal omnicide would have been darker.
Well, you did warn me. One nice thing about Discord is that he can be portrayed as either a silly prankster or a malevolent bastard and either way works fine. Not every MLP character is that flexible. This is a nice story, so it gets an upvote and a watch.
3962710 Thank you very much. Getting new watchers is always a delight!
I always liked the idea of Discord-as-creator (so much I wrote a fic about in fact), so this naturally gets my vote.
4022607 Thank you! I'll have to go check out your story.
Man, I wish I'd played the plot my own 'Discord goes eldritch god on da pastel pones' fic a bit more like this one.
However, I do find Twilight's evilness to be very hard to swallow. Like, I like Evil Twilight, but the suspension of disbelief necessary means it's hard for me to take seriously. I get the feeling this story could have done with some more development.
In any case, pretty good story! Have an upvote.
4028912 Thanks very much!
Congratulations! This story has been accepted into the Literary Value Archive with a composite score of 95. Full review left in the forums.
4040810 Eeee! Yay!
This story gives me chills. I enjoyed it very much - Discord's uneven descriptions is an impressive touch too. One question I have is why Luna would exactly release Chaos. It feels like something in line with what Luna would have done if I wrote about her.
4050093 Well, it's meant to be a little ambiguous exactly why any of this happened. I kind of figure that Luna did it because she thought it was the only way to stop Twilight, and didn't really realize what else would happen. She wasn't around when Chaos created the world, after all. But really, this one is meant to be whatever people want it to be, I tried to leave things open to interpretation.
Welp, you said dark.
And you were right...
Poor Night and Day, to never be able to set foot on Equestria again. I'm sure they missed their (I'm assuming) kids.
That was really nice. It's so hard to find a good story with Discord actually triumphant in the end. c:
I miss the good old days when Discord was the bad guy . . .
In some sense, it is certainly dark.
In another sense...as he puts it, another round is to come. And if it is a form of recurrence, then Celestia & Luna will come again. In that sense...yes, it is a tragedy, but in some ways we have merely reached the deep of night before the dawn of a new day. And perhaps not every night need begin in a descent to the abyss.
The cycle of creation and destruction is inevitable... There will always be another dawn but first night must fall
This is beautiful.
For what it's worth, I'm with Morning Sun - while certainly dark, the final paragraph is above all a beacon of hope. The games go on into eternity, and in every round the world dies in the fire of Chaos or the darkness of Night, and yet in between... That's where the good stuff happens. Every ending a chance for a new beginning. The greatest tragedy would be when one of them decides to quit playing.
As to why Luna would release Chaos, it's a twist on an argument that too many with depression know too well: is there a point at which the suffering is so great that it is better to simply let go of the world you cling to? The question here is played out on a universal scale, and not from the perspective of the depressed; Luna is a mother to all of the ponies, to the whole world. She is the concerned parent, the caring friend, whose role it is to help bring the world back from the brink of self-destruction. Yet knowing what she knows, would the answer change? And would the choice really be any easier for knowing? As someone who has dealt with depression and has helped others with the same issues, I find myself weeping for Luna every time I read this.
4028912
This was also my only (very minor) qualm with the story, although I think my take is a bit different from yours. Evil Twilight I can imagine. She has always had a certain instability and emotional fragility that is all too familiar and could all too easily turn to darkness. (Seriously, give Twilight and Celestia light sabers and set them lava-surfing - it totally works.)
But instead of more development, I think my problem is a wee bit too much detail. Specifically, the part that I found a bit jarring was Celestia's line, “I am sorry I rejected your proposal, Twilight." Despite being the one currently destroying everything, Twilight isn't the main character here. The rest of the exchange about love is beautiful, but when you get right down to it I don't think we really need to know *why* Twilight lost her sh*t. The rest of the story takes place at a level that is fairly abstract, yet still eminently relatable to anyone who has experienced depression. Narrowing the issue down to one of rejection, while it strikes a chord with anyone who has experienced it, also detracts a bit from that larger-scale connection.
I by no means wish to downplay the significance of issues with rejection, nor belittle the author's motivations in writing this (which I of course cannot presume to know or judge). Most of us have our own stories of pain and rejection, and it can truly be terrible. I mostly just wanted to share my own personal thoughts and reactions to the story.
5610560 Well, I'm very glad you liked it so much!
So, the author says it's dark and most of the comments seem to agree. I guess I'm an outlier then.
Really I didn't see this as all that dark. More like the end of a story coming about. Like a reset of reality that was inevitable due to the beginning of the story. It kinda actually reminds me of the ending of OFF. Not happy by any means, true, but not all that "evil" either. It's only about as dark as most philosophical musings. And I suppose this could be seen as such. But then I'm an outlier.
Nice story! I would normally ask for a sequel but there little to no way to continue this. May all your writings be as good as this, if not in the same way.
6582383 Well, it's more that it's quite dark compared to my usual writing, so I didn't want to unexpectedly shock any of my regular readers.
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
ok
Again commenting older work
Idea is sorta dark but only in inuendos
As a fan of Fallout: Equestria I can deal with it quite easily. Still very inteeresting idea about start and end of the world... because world returns to kind of primal state.
Some of your stories are more than amazing and I would love to talk sometime on skype or something
7813952 I don't use skype, but if you IRC I have a ponyfic discussion chan where I'm usually lurking.
7814812
stupid question
what is IRC?
7814842 Kids these days, not even knowing what IRC is! Internet Relay Chat. One of the oldest and still one of the most common chat platforms out there.
7814921
Heh I am 28 right now
Still thing is, that I try to avoid social networks as much as possible.
Skype is the closest thing to that as I dare to go.
7815810 Eh, it's just a chart room. Somewhere around here I have instructions for connecting, I'm currently on my tablet and also drunk, but I can copy them to you later if you like.
7815845
It would be nice.
I was furry for years and basicly left for being annoyed by some principles in that group
But here I really met some amazing writers and artists and all in all better people, I would generally love to talk to more
7815868 Just found my old instructions on how to connect. I'd forgotten that Fimfic still has a chat button, which uses IRC.
Right now I'm out and about a lot for the holidays, so even though it may say I'm in the room I may not actually be at my computer or tablet, but say hi if you drop in, and if I'm there I'll reply.
7816989
I'll check it out once I have some time (we miss people in work so taking bonus shifts)
Oh, right, THIS was the other one. My thoughts remain the same hopeful as my original comment!