Good End
Twilight could rewrite Fluttershy, reprogram her into a mindless slave...
Of course, Twilight thought to herself, that's what she would do if she was evil to the core. Fluttershy was her friend; she got dragged into this experiment, Twilight would be sure to drag her out again. Twilight made one final note on the parchment. She'd gotten all the data from this particular subject. Now, all that was left was to bring her out of trance without leaving her braindead.
Twilight moved close to Fluttershy's face again, still happily blank from the spells that assaulted her mind.
"Fluttershy," Twilight said turning on her hypnosis again, "Soon you'll wake up, and you'll remember everything. You'll remember it feeling good and blissful, and happy to have experienced it. I'll go back to being normal Twilight, your old friend. No master, no pet, all that gets thrown out in the stable."
Twilight closed her eyes and thought of the best way to ease Fluttershy back into consciousness again. She doubted it would safe to just splash some water on Fluttershy and call it a day. Twilight willed her coils to go limp, and slid all off except for the one around Fluttershy's neck. The yellow mare's mind slowly transitioned into a normal sleep, Twilight’s spell fading away with each breath. Her free will was back, and she would be back to her old self in due time.
...Which is why her slumber seemed odd.
Fluttershy had a happy smile, seemingly in an absolutely peaceful sleep. But she seemed to be mumbling to herself a bit while Twilight thought of a solution.
"Twilight...."
The way she spoke her name was almost lovingly, yet she was no longer in a trance. She was her old self, just as she was when she came here. So why was she still mumbling her name like that? Twilight noticed Fluttershy beginning to stir and slipped off the one coil around her neck. The purple pony nudged Fluttershy with her hoof.
"Fluttershy? You awake? Or...uh...more awake?"
Twilight teleported a dish full of sugar cookies next to the snoozing pony.
"I even have sugar cookies! It's scientific tradition!"
Fluttershy moaned almost reluctantly, as she sat up and rubbed her head. "Pinkie, you know I don't really like sugar cookies... Hmm?"
She finally opened her eyes and started to recover from her grogginess, looking up at Twilight and blinking several times. "Oh, hi Twilight," she said, groggily rubbing her eyes. "...Did you, um, get your data that you needed?"
"Oh yes, Fluttershy, you were perfect. I've learned so much now!" Twilight reared up and kicked the air with excitement.
"I hope the experience was pleasant for you. It definitely seemed like it. I might have gotten a little carried away, but what I do, I do for science. A couple of more test subjects and I'll have enough to make a good publication."
As her weariness passed, Fluttershy remembered everything that occurred between the two after she looked up into Twilight's eyes. She didn't hear a word that Twilight said after answering her question, and instead grew red in the face again as her wings popped out. She held her hooves to her mouth and squeaked in embarrassment. "Oh my... Science is certainly ..um... intense..." she said quietly.
"Yeah," Twilight chuckled, "Really intense. Can't expand the pool of pony knowledge otherwise."
Twilight looked at the rapidly reddening mare.
"Uh, are you okay? I didn't leave anything I shouldn't have in there, did I?"
Twilight was genuinely concerned; did she forget to erase a command saying that she loved her? Fluttershy was cute and all, but if they were to have a "thing," Twilight wanted it to be a natural thing, not coerced in the slightest. This power was especially tricky; it could have changed who Fluttershy was with just a single word.
"N-no, you left it all there, it's just... Oh my... W-we were tongue kissing...? A-and I massaged and kissed your scales, a-and... Ohgoshohgoshohgosh..." The mare seemed embarrassed and confused, especially considering she had yet to be in a relationship that got even close to that kind of intimacy.
Twilight began to realize the gravity of her action. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I did get a little carried away. This potion, it...does things to my head.” She laid back on a pile of her coils. "I mean, Fluttershy, I think you're a really wonderful pony. In that moment, I was overcome with greed and selfishness. I'm sorry."
Fluttershy shakily took a breath. "It's ..um... fine, Twilight. In fact..." she said looking down at the floor and tried to hide behind her mane. "I...I think I actually enjoyed some of it."
Twilight's eyes perked. "You did? Like, really? That's not the hypnosis speaking?" Twilight said as an electrifying shiver ran through her coils.
Fluttershy nodded. "I... I was so bold! I was doing things I'd never be able to do with so much confidence! And, well, it was nice to feel....um... cared for...I guess that’s it? You know, just being happy with somepony." She sighed in confusion. "I don't know how to say it..."
Twilight shoved a hoof into Fluttershy's snout. "It's okay Fluttershy, I know what you're trying to say, truth be told, I think you're swell too. I wouldn't mind it if we tried dating for a while. I did promise you to take you out while you were under, not sure if you remember that, though."
I just think you needed a little more..." Twilight removed her hoof from Fluttershy's snout and gentle scratched her chin, "...coercion."
"...pet," Twilight said as she tapped her bed of coils with the other hoof.
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NOTE: Not part of my snake oil "canon". A story with Rumble is coming I swear to god.
3923709
Which ending, the bad ending?
...it's almost a "bad" and a "slightly less bad" ending. Almost.
However, it was an amusing little read and twenty minutes well-spent.
3923720 yup
The grammar is the only objectively detestable part.
And I guess I discovered a new fetish to figure out, so good job.
This was very good. Can't wait for more, whether it's from this or just other snake oil stories.
3923725 How is this one a "slightly less bad" ending? It seemed pretty fine to me.
Okay a question, are you ever going to make a clop fic with lamia's?
3924151
See Pink Scales.
And if you're anything like me, even without anything explicit this stuff is really hot.
3924166 my bad, thanks.
3923864
I'm probably reading too much into the final line.
3924166 *nods*
I'm trying to figure out what a lamia is, I've never heard of them. This was a far better ending in my opinion (the good one) it was so cute.
3924986
A lamia is a mythological creature from India that has the upper body of a human (or in this case a pony) and the lower half of a snake. Best for maximym cuddles.
Huh. 4. I'm fine with that.
aww i want more X3, like if they went on a date and twi was still like a snake, i like to see how ponies react to it X3
Sure, I'll give this thing a whirl.
Never liked the Kaa fetish, or this fetish in particular, but the idea seems okay enough.
EDIT:
Read.
It's weird.
Kinda regretting it.
I was warned.
Yay for good endings!
This is not the type of story I'd naturally gravitate toward, but to my surprise, I actually quite liked it. I love the idea of Twilight being a GLaDOS-like "For science!" crazy pony.
3926528
The question is, who should be next?
3926597 Rainbow Dash seems to be an interesting candidate...
But, you know, it's your story...
3926214 Hypnotic llamas!
... nope. Too erotic for my tastes.
3925266 Actually Lamia originate from greek mythology. They are also known to be vampiric. Anyway this was a good read, I was not aware that there were others out there with this particular interest. Excellent work.
3928360
Huh, that's interesting. So they're closer to gorgons then? I wonder if there's a petrification group on this site that I could write a story for....
3926597 Rainbow Dash
3929070 You could always make one, I know I'd read Gorgon stuff. Next to Lamia they are my favorite type of snake people. However the myths behind Gorgons are even more convoluted. Some have been know to have the full body of a woman with only snake hair. sometimes their hair is snake tails instead of the heads. Even their powers differ depending on the source such as their bite turning you to stone instead of their gaze. Anyway this was an excellent story, as well as the others you wrote. i might as well throw in my vote for an expansion on the bad end as well, 'twas rather enjoyable
3933158
Hmm, what about a gorgon pony who's gaze, in addition to turning you to stone from the hoof up, hypnotizes you to actually like it and want to spend the rest of your life as a pretty statue in Gorgonpony's garden?
3933169 Screw the elements of harmony we have Gorgons! that would kinda make sense if say they were a hybrid of a Lamia and a Gorgon. but the eyes can't do two things at once so have their gaze do the mesmerizing and their venom do the petrifying. Fun fact some Lamia actually have a bulb like apendage on their tales that opens up like a mouth with tentacles, this particular bit is used to do the hypnosis in these instances. Its crazy how myths vary so wildly even when dealing with the same creature.
3937396 YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSC
I not a sadist, I just wanna see what might happen next
3937396 YAY
this is going to be awes..... wait what 
..... sadist.. SADIST
.
I suppose your right 
Meh
3937396 Im sure both will be good but im a little curious, why one for both endings when everyone seemed to prefer the bad one? Again im fine either way
3937820
A lot of people prefer the good end, including myself.
3937901 AH, good to know im not the only one who isn't completely sociopathic here
3937396 we're not sadists, we just enjoyed how you turned twilight into a twisted, insane snake pony that took total control over fluttershy and made her a slave. oh wait, that is sadistic... never mind!
i kinda wanna see a story sequel where she take control of everyone of her friends and plans to rule equestria yes that is very sadist but hey i got my ides. i just really wanna see that happen
3937396 YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!
3937396 Hurray for sadism
I'm not sure, but I think this could do with another ending, One where Twilight hypnotizes Fluttershy to turn her into a Lamia and hypnotize her back with both ponies stuck in a neverending mindless trance
INB4 downvotes
3937396
I like how you think.
Disagreement about which sequel is better? Why not both!
So, how goes the sequel? How far along are you?
I believe is that this chapter takes place before the Bad Ending chapter, and that chapter takes place a day after this one...
Oh god, this makes me feel really good inside. I'm warm and it feels like someone loves me. I love the way that you wrote the story, because I feel like I can project myself onto the characters and that makes me feel like I'm there!
When's the sequel coming out??? I wanna see more hypnosis and mind break! Show us the aftermath of Fluttershy's ultimate submission! MORE!
5109059
Eh, things have been busy. I've only recently started to write. It's roughly finished but needs a lot of editing.
4762933 And My Axe!
I feel I should point out right now that the sequel is very very close to release. I'm helping the author polish it and make it beautifully presentable for your sick, twisted minds. Patieeeennnce... Master says so... xD
5449310
Don't worry. Fluttershy is living a life of infinite pleasure now, something anypony would be envious of. That said, if Twily DID ever decide to eat her, Fluttershy would slide down her throat without resistance. The hypnotized mare would do anything for her misssssstresssss...