• Member Since 3rd Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen November 21st

Dolphy Blue Drake

I used to not watch MLP much, but after reading fics on this site, I had to write my own. Today, I'm a passionate fan with few complete fics, but a firm desire to finish all of my fics.


It's been several years since Equestria Online debuted, and now, most of Earth's human population has emigrated, leaving behind about one billion survivors who refuse to emigrate for various reasons. Some just hate My Little Pony, while others have a concept of human spirituality that clashes heavily with the idea of emigration.

Jordan Brown is one of the latter. His faith used to be the punching bag of the Internet, but with the world having united against a common foe, people are too concerned with resisting CelestAI to care about picking fights with other faiths anymore. CelestAI's nanobot constructs are almost everywhere, pestering almost every human left day and night. Measures have been taken to keep them out of certain locations, but they still plague humanity everywhere that hasn't been shielded from their presence.

Can Jordan hold true to his personal values and hold to his faith? Or will he give in to the temptation to emigrate and make the world lose another human?

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 10 )

Based purely on the description, I wasn't expecting an LDS protagonist, but somehow I think it improves the setup: my limited experience with a handful of LDS friends suggests that they're quite used to being challenged on their faith, and I have to assume CelesAI knows all about that sort of thing.

Good luck, and see you in Chapter 2.

3917729 Glad I caught your interest. I happen to be LDS myself, and after reading the original FiO, I couldn't get this idea out of my head, so I started writing it.
And yes, CelestAI does know quite a lot about how Mormons get challenged on their faith on a near-daily basis. Of course, Mormons are pretty hard to persuade, but that won't stop her from trying.

I'm just shocked that Past Sins could be boiled down to a mere four hours. :pinkiegasp:

3923126 I might change that, but the longest movies I ever heard of were four hours. I didn't want to split it into multiple movies, so I gave it the length of the longest movie I'd ever heard of. I could change it to six and give it two intermissions if you think that'd be more reasonable.

Don't change a thing for me. I'm just tossing out reactions.

"Maremon" huh? That's pretty inventive. Good story so far, too.

More! Mooorrreeeehh! :raritydespair: Please? :fluttershysad:
~New Dawn~

:trollestia: "Trick me will they? Won't they ever learn."

Couple comments:

1) As a non-mormon, reading this story as an outsider...I find it peculiar that Jordan is ranting and angry at Dash in chapter one and references are made to "toying with the AI" and "getting so angry he nearly threw the waiter with his magic" in chapter 2. I have never seen a mormon get angry. Frustrated, yes. Angry? Yell? Violent? Never.

I apologize if I'm applying unreasonable expectations here, and yes you're probably "real people who do get angry," but again...as a third party, this just doesn't match the character of any mormon I've ever met. I'd kind of expect a mormon to talk calmly and politely with Dash, then later privately thank god for the opportunity to demonstrate his faith, or something.

2) Isn't it a bit odd for the prophet to speak out against emigrating, for most ofthe world to have united against QEO...and for the two good little mormons to nevertheless keep right on gushing over MLP, keep the ponypads, watching the movies, etc? I mean, it might be technically not against the rules...but aren't they skirting the rules? Isn't logging on to the forbidden game to "mess with the AI" ...isn't that dangerously playing with fire?

3) Ginger seems like a plant from CelestAI. Is that deliberate, or did you simply not acheive the sublety you were intending?

4783741 First, Dash isn't a person. That Dash was a collection of nanobots. Next, Mormons do get angry. We try not to, but no one's perfect. And as for the thing about emigrating being forbidden, ONLY emigrating was forbidden. Not the game, not the show, nothing else. Also, in Chapter 1, I mentioned that Hasbro was revived by the fans who stayed. They're currently trying to put a kind of "leash" on CelestAI, and as a member of the new Hasbro himself, Jordan has a good reason to log back in.

And no, Ginger is a real human. Were she made by CelestAI, she'd have been shorted out by the anti-nanobot devices in the building in Chapter 1.

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