• Published 7th Feb 2014
  • 5,261 Views, 48 Comments

Human Is Equestria - Goldenwing



Fluttershy asks Twilight for advice about a strange dream.

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HiE

One Uneventful Morning…

Twilight’s head poked up, her nose rising from its usual position in the midst of a book. She frowned, eyes narrowing. She was almost certain that she’d heard something, from the direction of the door.

Curious, she pushed herself out of her chair and went to open the door.

“Oh, hello Fluttershy.” She offered up a welcoming smile for her friend.

“Uhm, hey Twilight.” Fluttershy glanced around nervously before stepping over the threshold. “I just had this really weird dream last night and, uh, I was wondering if maybe you wouldn’t mind talking about it, if you’re not busy?”

“No, that’s fine,” Twilight said, closing the door. “Spike is out visiting Rarity, and I was just doing some reading on parametric functions and their applications in adaptive magic.”

“Oh,” Fluttershy said, as if she knew exactly what her friend was talking about. “That’s nice.”

Twilight nodded, merrily levitating a couple of cushions out of their places and carefully positioning them on the floor. She sat down, inviting Fluttershy to join her with a few gentle pats on the pillow next to her. “Tell me about your dream.”

“Okay.” Fluttershy sat down next to Twilight, taking a moment to gather her thoughts and appreciate the nice, comforting feel of the pillows. “Well, um, I had just finished feeding my animals and was heading to the spa to meet Rarity.” She paused.

“Then what?” Twilight prompted.

“Uh…” Fluttershy looked away. “Then this giant metal thing cut open the sky, and these huge bald monsters reached in and began to crush the entire world.”

Twilight blinked. That was not what she had been expecting. “Hang on a sec,” she said. With a polite nod she rose to her hooves, trotted over to her desk, and grabbed her notepad, a quill, and her psychiatrist glasses. Returning to Fluttershy’s side, she flipped the notepad to a fresh sheet of paper and titled it with the day, time, and the phrase Preliminary Investigations in Anxiety-Related Dreams.

“Okay, go on,” she said.

After a moment’s hesitation, Fluttershy continued. “Well, that’s it, actually. I kind of fainted.” She looked away as her voice quieted to a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

Inwardly, Twilight sighed. There were few things that irked her more than a freshly titled page gone to waste. Oh well, maybe she could find somepony else with chronic anxiety and surgery-themed dreams.

“That’s fine,” Twilight said, shooting a comforting smile Fluttershy’s way. “So, has anything unusual—”

Twilight was suddenly interrupted by the presence of a large, white, fishy thing falling right in front of her. She yelped, leaping back as Fluttershy squeaked in surprise.

“Twilight, what is that?” Fluttershy asked, eyes wide with terror.

“I’m not exactly sure,” Twilight responded, pushing her glasses back into place on her muzzle. She levitated her notepad to her side and, after a brief internal debate between her neatness and her scientific curiosity, crossed out the title on her page. She replaced it with a new one: Preliminary Investigations on Mysterious White Object.

She did a cursory walk around of the thing, taking careful notes. It was white, with a long slithery tail sticking out from a bulbous, mostly spherical head. About two ponylengths tall and half a ponylength in diameter. On closer inspection she realized that it seemed to be burrowing into her floor. Surprised, she looked up and, sure enough, spotted a hole in her roof.

“Hrm.” She looked to Fluttershy. “Honestly, if I didn’t think it was so outrageous I would say that this is some kind of massive sp—”

Smack!

Something hit her in the back of the head, hard. Stumbling backwards, she realized that another one of the weird white objects had dug through her roof, this time landing right on top of her

She frowned.

Smack! Smack smack smack!

Suddenly they were pouring from above, each one first burrowing through her roof before lodging its head in her wooden floor. Fluttershy opened her mouth to scream.

Twilight grabbed her, pulling her outside the library and into the street. There were dozens of the things embedded in the land, some of them already dug halfway into the ground, some laying limply upon it as if they were dead.

“Oh my goodness!” Fluttershy exclaimed, chest heaving. “Twilight, I’ve got to go check on my animals. Thanks for your help!” With that, she was off, galloping into the distance.

Twilight was at a loss. Ponies were charging out into the street, wide eyed in varying mixes of confusion and terror. Daisy was perched on top of her home’s thatch roof, loudly lamenting at the horror of the situation. Rose reached out and dragged her foal back into the relative safety of her home. Pinkie Pie seemed to be… playing with the white things raining from the sky.

“What’s happening…?” Twilight asked. She looked up, scanning the sky, and a gasp of pure terror escaped her mouth.

They were everywhere.


Twenty-Four Weeks Later

Celestia just didn’t know what to do anymore. Everything was happening so fast.

She could still vividly remember the first day that the white invaders had landed, raining down from the sky all across Equestria and beginning to burrow their way into the ground. Despite the best efforts of the Royal Guard and hundreds of thousands of volunteers, it had all been in vain. They had managed to stop many, but even still hundreds had gotten away from them, piercing the Equestrian land and burrowing out of sight.

Ever since then, things had been… changing..

The view from the top of Canterlot Mountain was unrecognizable, even for a demigoddess that had been watching the world evolve for over a thousand years.

She sighed as she scanned the pale, soft, bald land below her. All the color was gone, the green forests and purple mountains all replaced with colorless, featureless terrain unlike any she’d seen before. Equestria had grown radically in the last few months, expanding to thousands upon thousands of times its own size.

The crops had withered away and turned to dust. The clouds had disappeared. She and her sister had lost control of the sky as it turned to a deep, warm red and the sun, moon, and stars had disappeared. Her ponies had all long ago become one with the land. She wasn’t even needed anymore.

Luna stepped up to her side. “Art thou ready to go, dear sister?”

Celestia nodded, once. She was so tired. “Yes. Let’s go.”

The two alicorn sisters turned and walked away, ascending to a higher plane that only they knew existed.


Sixteen Weeks Later

“Here we go! And… it’s a girl!”

A wave of relief passed over all present in the sterile little room. Doctor Hendricks smiled as he held the child. There was something special about bringing new life into the world, and he’d never get tired of it.

And then he noticed something.

“Mr. Bennet, could you come here?” he asked.

Mrs. Bennet frowned. “Why, what’s wrong?”

Doctor Miller peeked over Doctor Hendrick’s shoulder. His eyes widened.

Mr. Bennet gave his wife a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before coming up to Doctor Hendrick’s side. “What is it, Doctor?”

“Look at the child’s left eye,” Doctor Hendricks said.

Mr. Bennet complied, and was amazed to see that his new baby girl’s left eye was extremely abnormal. In place of the usual black pupil and colored iris was… well… a miniature planet.

“What is it?” Mrs. Bennet demanded. “Is something wrong?”

Doctor Miller sighed. “I didn’t go to med school for this.”

Author's Note:

I hope this becomes a trend.

Comments ( 48 )

>tfw you realise what those white things are :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
*favs*

batran #3 · Feb 7th, 2014 · · 2 ·

Equestria in Human fic lol.

Well, that was .. interesting. :rainbowwild:

'Like'-worthy, though.

That ending made me laugh so hard.:rainbowlaugh:

Don't know if trolling, or just genius.

Or both.

Um, well, I'm out...

:pinkiehappy:
Well, whadda we got here?

I thank you, good sir, for this sincerest form of flattery. :twilightblush:

*after reading*
Okay.
:trixieshiftleft:
:trixieshiftright:
Who impregnated Equestria?

holy shit. Giant sperm raining from sky, now ive heard everything

um, *blinks* :twilightoops: what?

Equestria is best egg cell.

3909502
I'm pretty sure it was Mr. Bennet. That dog! :raritywink:

That's... rather dark, actually.

Still, an excellent story.

3910564
I'm a dark writer at heart, through and through.

memecreator.org/static/images/memes/2341392.jpg

I really don't think I can do anything else.

Why do I get the feeling another crazy fandom is in the works?

*Realizes what the white things were* ...Yep, I need brain bleach now.

Well.... Umm... :derpyderp1::derpyderp2::derpyderp1::derpyderp2:

raywenderlich.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Wait%E2%80%A6What.jpg

Of course now someone has to write one where Equestria is the guy's heart or something.
The image of a beating planet-heart is now implanted in your head. You're welcome. Hey, you know, all those fics that talk about ley-lines, which are like magic veins and arteries that pulse with life... it could be done. Hell, it could be done in a non-dark manner, although a certain amount of dark shall always remain because of precedent.

It's just a trend, it's just a trend, it'll be over before you know it, dear god please let it end...

Apocalypse by Sperm.

I like it.

We need merchandise.

I propose T-shirts depicting ponies being assaulted by ravenous sperm.

It's a flawless plan.

You get a like. :moustache:

I...I don't.............
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...........................................................................
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.............................................................................................
...................................................................................................
.................:facehoof:

I just realized that Celestia and Luna are the x chromosomes.

3913332
...Oh my God, you're right.
*CRUSHED BY SPERM CELL*

Death by creation!
Genius!

This wasn't dark. Just funny as hell. Death by sperm rain is definitely a new one, I'll give you that.

3915243
Well if you consider that the ponies are basically like nutrients in the egg cell, being absorbed to feed the growth of the baby against their will...


3913332
You're a clever one.

Why did Equestria go from being the egg cell to the eyeball?

3916142
When an egg cell becomes a baby, it multiplies many many times to get the necessary amount of cells for a child, but I don't think there's any one specific spot where the original cell actually resides, especially since most cells die pretty quick. So why not?

To be honest though, it's mostly for the sake of the plot.

3916187 Fair enough, I suppose. Entertaining read all the same.

3916138 That is not very dark in my book, granted that book is the necronomicon but still.

....................................wat?

In the words of Grunkle Stan: well, that happened.

This thing. I read it. It made me chuckle. It was a weird chuckle.

I will now leave. :pinkiesick:

I'm going to expand on this story.
I have so many ideas for characters, locations, events....
I hope I have your blessing.

5686521
Go ahead,bro. Just don't forget the original story was ocalhoun's!

5708775
The first in the chain shall be honored.

Equestria: "What's a place like me doing in a girl like this?"

I'm sorry. You've left me no choice.

And I try to make a princess...

wlam #45 · Oct 20th, 2016 · · 1 ·

I hope this becomes a trend.

I'm rather hoping it doesn't. Brr.

About halfway through the story, I realized what was going on.

Da fuq.

3912821
Technically, with only two fics, it's only imitation.

It would only be a trend if there were at least three.

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