Compulsive reader, novice writer.
Fluttershy is out of town. Discord has driven away Rainbow Dash, made Rarity and Applejack bedridden, and sent Twilight out on some quest or another.
When the Pinkie Sense detects something amiss in the Everfree Forest, Pinkie goes after a certain zebra friend.
Created for the Equestria Daily Writer's Training Grounds #006: "Pinkie Pride"
Feel free to point any flaws; it's why I'm taking part in the Writer's Training Grounds, after all.
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Liked the story, although revisiting it might be a good idea. Some of the rhymes could use a little work, but that's understandable.
Also, the unicorn at the end felt strange to me. Almost like it came out of nowhere. It might help to add a little background somehow.
3912741
I agree; I can't rhyme well - English is not actually my native language, so I can't really tell "by ear" if a rhyme works or not - and in attempting to make the rhymes minimally acceptable I literally ran out of time, which forced me to cut a good amount of exposition I had planned for the end (it would be both Zecora and her friend explaining things, and given my issue with rhymes...)
The unicorn herself would still be unnamed and mostly unexplained, but my intent was to explain what exactly she was doing, what she could gain by doing it, and how somepony might find the exact place and time to do it. I didn't get to fully define it, though, apart from the time and place part (in a nutshell, Zecora regularly meets with her friend there, which is why she felt guilt for putting him at risk); while I did plan most of the story, when it came to the ending I was writing by the seat of my pants.
I do plan to revisit this story in the future, after I get to review Smudge Conspiracy. Being unsatisfied with one of my own stories due to deadline issues is not a particularly pleasant feeling
3913089 Wow, English isn't your first language? I never would have guessed. If you ever need help with something, like rhyming, feel free to ask me if you want.
3915700
Well, the "compulsive reader" I added to my bio isn't just for show; I've likely read more than a thousand books in English already (I've started reading in English over two decades ago, and I really am a compulsive reader), which is likely why my mastery of the English language can mislead others, as long as they don't actually speak with me
Spoken English is another matter entirely. I'm actually learning a lot about pronunciation from watching MLP - it's a show made to be accessible for small children, after all, which means the pronunciation is quite clear - but I still need subtitles (which can be in English, of course) to fully understand each episode.
I might accept your offer when I finally get to rewriting this fic, if you are willing. Having someone else to poke holes at my bad rhymes would certainly come handy, and - besides fixing the rhymes I did write - I would likely have to double the amount of rhyming just to get back to my initial idea for the fic
You confused "its" and "it's" a few times. Remember, "it's" is a contraction, like "isn't"; "its" is a possessive pronoun, like "his".
3945831
Four errors, I believe, if I caught them all; fixed now, thanks
An interesting story, indeed. Pinkie and Zecora rarely get the spotlight together on their lonesome, which is curious because I felt that they synced quite well here, and sync well in general, - both are selfless ponies who want to help others with no concern for themselves, and both are comfortable dealing with the strange and mysterious aspects of nature and reality without getting too hung up on things (in contrast to Twilight).
Pinkie's reaction to the prospect of Zecora being in danger - i.e. running off to help her immediately - is also very endearing when you consider that she was initially very suspicious of Zecora in Bridle Gossip. Characterization Marches On.
4113274
I see both Zecora and Pinkie as being the "sage" kind of character, but in different ways; Zecora is the traditional sage that draws her wisdom from a huge amount of accumulated experiences, kinda like those old men in the tavern characters, while Pinkie is the kind of sage that finds the answers by looking at things from a different perspective, like the jester sages that some stories use to great effect. Two sides of the same coin, if I might say so, and the episode that better shows this might be Swarm of the Century.
I really wish we could get more episodes like that
Also, the prompt was to have a mane 6 and her foil, so I went out of my way to have Zecora and Pinkie reaching similar results through very different ways and complement each other
BTW, Pinkie rebounds quickly and loves making friends; that is part of her personality. At the end of Bridle Gossip I believe she was already half way towards being a true friend to Zecora