Steal a car, go to a nudist colony. ???? PROFIT!
Yoshimitsu's P.O.V, present day.
After our most awesome escape, it seemed as if the guard weren't going to be following us, so after a couple of minutes of frantic running, we eventually slowed down to a leisurely stroll. In a few minutes, we might have to run again, so it was wise to save as much energy as we could.
"Hey, sempai. Can you imagine what Mighty Whitey must have looked like as we escaped?" I shook my head.
"She probably derped out or something from sheer rage." I was still a little angry with her for imprisoning us a thousand and fifty years ago, but I was prepared to let bygones be bygones.
Tobi giggled, walking down the road calmly. I wasn't. Instead, I was balanced on my sword, hopping around.
"NAMU!" I cackled, hopping overhead and almost impaling a harmless rabbit as it walked over the road, unaccustomed to screaming humans riding a katana. Suddenly, Tobi stopped.
"Hey, sempai, sempai! Do you hear that?" I perked an ear. Sounded like a car. My interest piqued, I indicated for him to hide.
We dove into the underbrush on the side of the road, and watched as a most... peculiar contraption came around the corner. It looked like one of those really, REALLY old fashioned cars, painted a cheery red and with a lot of gauges on them. It was being steered by two unicorns, who had apparently seen hard times. Their straw boaters were battered, and their blue and white striped shirts were covered in sweat and oil stains.
"I say, Flim, business has been hard."
"Indeed it has, Flam. Nopony is interested in our Super Cider Squeezy 3000, all from one bad outing."
"Well, brother Flim, I must say that we made some poor business decisions. How will we prove our wealth now? Get it patented?"
"Brother, we already did that. Nopony was interested in it at all." I looked at Tobi. He flashed a thumbs up. Without a moment to lose, I jumped onto the automobile, sticking myself to the surface with magic. I waltzed over, and jumped behind them.
"Greetings, gents." Before they could panic, I slammed their heads together and gripped the wheel, slowing the vehicle down before it crashed.
Tobi came running up.
"Sempai, it's so beautiful. We should keep it!" I nodded, relieving the two unicorns of their boaters. I tossed one to Tobi, and placed the other on my head.
"But, Sempai, won't we get in trouble with the law for this?" For answer, I rolled my head.
"Screw the rules, we're on a road trip." Tobi nodded, jumping on.
"Right. Onwards we go!" I hit the accelerator... and nothing happened. I face faulted, and tried again. Still nothing.
"Kick the car, sempai. It works with televisions." I kicked the car, but other than a clang, it didn't start up. I turned to Tobi.
"Interrogate the unicorns."
"Hai, Sempai!" He skipped over, and slapped one of them awake, placing a hand over his horn.
Flim's P.O.V.
Something slapped me awake. I looked up, blearily, aware that something was over my horn. I focused blearily on the orange swirly thing in front of me.
"Look into my eyehole." I did so, staring into a red eye with three commas swirling in it...
Tobi's P.O.V, present day.
I nodded as he came under my control. Really, the Sharingan made things too easy sometimes. Plus, with an unfocused mind like his, it was all too easy.
"Your name is Flim, correct?"
"Yes..." The dopey eyed unicorn stallion muttered, staring out at the world with glazed eyes.
"Now, your vehicle. How does it work, exactly?"
"Well, it's a cider machine, so it-" I waved a hand, prompting him to be quiet.
"No, not that. How did you make it work as a vehicle? That's what I want to know."
"We made it move with our magic. You see, the cider functions as fuel, but we're running low. Get some apples into it, and it'll run without magic."
"Will it make cider out of anything?"
"Yes, anything. Apples are a favourite though." I nodded, pleased with this information. Soon, we'd have our own liquor.
"Excellent. Now, when you see a Royal Guard, you are to sing the Australian National Anthem. Here, I'll teach it to you and your brother."
After putting the trigger phrase into both him and his brother and tying them up, I waltzed back to the car.
"It runs on magic, or alcoholic cider."
"Oh, magic? That's easy enough to do." With that, he slammed a hand into the vehicle, and soon, we were driving off to glory and alcohol, whichever came first.
Flash Sentry's P.O.V.
I growled as I flew after the convicts. Although I knew that, technically, I shouldn't be doing this, sometimes you just had to confront dangerous criminals directly. Rounding a corner, I spotted something that made me take pause.
"HELP!"
"HELP NOW!"
Two unicorn stallions, trying to break free from a tree that had... apparently hugged them and molested them. I scrunched up my face in confusion.
"What." Sometimes, that's all you can say in these sorts of situations. I flew over to help the two stallions.
"How can I help you?" The two looked at him, and they froze. Then suddenly, they began to sing in unison.
"Australians all let us, rejoice,
For we are young and free.
We've golden soil and wealth, for toil,
Our home is girt by sea.
Our land abounds in nature's gifts,
A beauty rich and rare,
In history's page let every stage,
Advance Australia fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing,
ADVANCE... AUSTRALIA... FAIR!"
They paused for a moment, to take breath, then sung it again. My eye just twitched out of confusion.
"What."
Twilight's P.O.V, three hours later.
I just stared at the two singing con artists. Beside me, Shining Armour just shrugged.
"They've been singing like this for three hours now. It seems as if, whenever they see a Royal Guard, they sing this song."
"It's Tobi's doing." I turned to the Princess, who was watching them with a sad expression.
"Once Tobi locks eyes with a pony, he can hypnotise them into doing his bidding. It's a very difficult spell to reverse. He called it a 'genjutsu.' I was shaken. Every minute I heard about them, I learned why they should never be underestimated.
If he'd locked eyes with one of the Elements... I shuddered to think about it.
"So this guy can just brainwash any pony he looks at? Ah think that ah an see why you imprisoned them with the Elements." Celestia looked... embarrassed? Ashamed?
"Actually, my use of the Elements was mostly unjustified. I had a far hotter head back in the day, and was prone to making rash decisions..." I was pretty shocked at that. The Princess was not always... well, Celestia? That seemed a bit much for me to take in.
"Really?" Celestia nodded.
"I am not proud of that period of my life, but it happened."
Yoshimitsu's P.O.V, 1,050 years ago.
Out of boredom, we had started to sing.
"I wanna be, the very best, like no one ever was." I sang, experimentally. Toby joined in on the next verse.
"To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause."
Yoshimitsu
"I will travel, across the land, searching far and wide.
For Pokémon, to understand, THE POWA THAT'S INSIDE~!"
Both
"POKÉMON! GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!"
Yoshimitsu
"it's you and me now.
I know it's my destiny!
POKÉMON! OH-"
"Stop thine singing." Stalwort Heart beside us looked like he was having an aneurism. I grimaced.
"That is one of the most recognisable songs in the world where we come from." Toby snapped. Stalwart Heart just looked at us with lidded eyes.
"And can one assume that cats screaming is a form of music as well?"
"Don't have a cow, man." At Toby's strange comment, Stalwart Heart just glared at us.
"Thine speech is most strange."
"Yeah, you said that several times."
"That means that it is doubly true." I poked my tongue at him behind my mask, while Toby just did a raspberry.
Eventually, the doors opened, and we strode in like muthafucking bosses. Because, really, we were.
In the throne room, sitting on tall chairs, were two wingie unicorns. Were female unicorns winged? Weird.
The taller one was white, and had a green, blue and pink mane, that seemed to flutter in a non-existent wind. She looked at us with a stern expression. The other one was slightly shorter, coloured dark blue and with a floaty mane, dotted with stars and coloured like a patch of the night sky. She seemed to be the nicer one. I waved.
"Hey, osh. When do we get our free sandwich? Do you think I should ask them?" Suddenly, we were being poked in the knees. I turned around to Stalwart Heart, who was kneeling and poking. Oh wait, we were with royalty.
I hastily scrambled into a bow, with Tobi following suit. The taller one looked satisfied with this.
"Rise, thou knaves. Let Us speak to you about thine transgressions. Holy balls this mare was loud. She would be the perfect scream metal vocalist. After making sure that I wasn't deaf, I spoke.
"Of course. Let's sort out all of these misunderstandings." I stood up, and Tobi did the same.
"Princess, let us tell you that everything that has happened today has been but a huge, hideous misunderstanding. We never intended to terrorise you or your people." Blue one looked doubtful.
"We hath many reasons to doubt thine story. Thine attack on the town of Ponyham was most destructive. Thine actions have destroyed much of our domain." This one was slightly quieter- less jet engine and more of a commercial cruiser. Still, I felt that she'd be a good back-up vocalist.
"Our names are..." I wracked my brains. I didn't want to tell them our real names.
"Tobi and Yoshimitsu." I breathed out, thankful for Toby's quick thinking.
"We came here from a far off land unintentionally, and we seek passage back home." At that, the white one's shoulders slumped a bit in... disappointment? Was I reading her right? Toby nodded.
"He's right, princesses. And that's the truth." I saw his hands swing together.
"TOBI DON'T-" It was too late. Tobi's hands clapped together, thankfully not in a sign. However, the damage was done. Stalwart Heart tackled him to the ground, snarling.
"So, thou came here under false pretences, worm! Was this your intention, distracting the Princesses with honeyed words and striking them down without their battle armour on? Thou disgusts me!"
"Wait a minute, nonononononononono-" White one stood up.
"I hath heard enough!" her voice, somehow, got louder.
"TOBI! Thou hast tried to attack Our Royal personage under our own roof! And THOU, Yoshimitsu-" here she levelled a glare, and I shrank back a bit from the heat in her eyes,
"-THOU hast attempted to deceive us with thine honeyed words!" her horn glowed a furious yellow, and her sister's glowed an indigo blue.
"NOW, FACE THE FULL MIGHT OF THE RULERS OF PONYKIND!
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this fic makes me happy
I like this head canon.
So she stoned them because Tobi clapped and the other guy though it was an attack.
Hehe.
....
Pfft- HA! HA! HA!
You had a far hotter head Celestia? How about extremely hot headed. Good lord Celestia, you might as well as turned anybody to stone if they sneezed for crying out loud.
This was awesome, and I look forward to the next chapter!
~ Super-Brony12
I have to give this Celestia a nod of respect, because while she did lock two beings who were attempting to cooperate in stone until they went insane, at least she's owning up to her mistake. Actually, this gives a pretty solid reason for attempting to rehabilitate Discord: she figured that keeping him locked up would only make him crazier.
no, she isn't. She locked them up for a thousand years. a THOUSAND YEARS. and in all that time never recanted.
SUuddenly, discord swoops in and does a merry little jig on Celestia's head and steals her hair before flying off.
3936986 the fuck?
3937033 That's my logic.
Sin counter: X
Celestia is a dick to humans.
*DING*
Sin counter: X+1
I'm not insulting the author, I just had to make this joke.
Great chapter. Will Luna and Celestia face their past mistakes?
haaaaahaahahaha..........
....o ....he... ya so maybe it was a little funny. 
later you should make celestia and co. view our heros through a portal spell and have tobi (who knows he's being watched because sharingan) reenact a dora episode complete with tobi voicing over a piece of paper to act as "map" saying we will go through the woods, over the river and into the town! X3, teaching the gang spanish words by telling them to yell "jump" in spanish to get over minor dangers and of course play that whole " i cant see whats right behind me, please point out the mountain" deal and throw in the "come on vominos, everybody lets go" song. it would be hillarious. but of course these are all just suggestions i'm not ordering or anything.
3937827
Glad you think so.
3937970 Wait I have a better plan, to fool these foolish pony gals... fuck rhyming. They should try the viewing spell only to see the Naruto verse Tobi in battle during the war.
Very nice.
Although-
Hmm. Add in the 'medieval' mental model, then give a thousand years of beauraucracy to smooth over those rough edges... yes, I can see that.
Luna _used_ to be the calm, rational one, but she never left the medieval period.
She's still the more talented one when it comes to red tape and accounting, however. Even if she's woefully ill-informed.
*Claps hands*
Aaaaaand you're fucked.
From what I can tell, this seems to be a story about two guys becoming villainous due to being forced to be such in the past. And now that they have spent a thousand years in stone, they are a bit insane, but in the end just want to have fun.
You just went full retard.
Never go full retard.
3975881 lol.
Celestia's a bitch. now if you don't mind, i have something Australian to look up.
5509914 Celestia's not always a bitch, but she usually fills the role. Also...
funniestmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Funniest_Memes_in-australia-if-it-can-t-kill-you_8153.jpeg
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img.memecdn.com/australia_o_294063.jpg
you know that ending alone was amazing
3936619
Honestly, I wish I was in their shoes. I kind of hated this year, and I'd gladly trade places. Be a lot more fun that way, thousand-and-50-year imprisonment or no.
Celestia needs to get fuckin laid... Because here she is a Grade A bitch.