Twilight was in her library when she trips and falls, hitting the self. All the books fell on her and hit her head. She can't remember anything now. Now she tries to remember everything with the help of some ponies that clam to be her friends. Will her memory come back? Or will she have to live without remembering anything for good?
You have some grammar issues, but the premise is good. If you can, get a beta reader - A good one.
Oh, before I forget - Here are two extremely annoying errors.
Twilight was in her library studying like always.
Twilight saw a big pony with a white coat and a wavy mane approaching her. - You might want to substitute big with large; It sounds better.
Oh, by the way - You didn't capitalize the P in please in your Author's note.
Ill try to fix it. Sorry I'm really bad at spelling and since I did it on my phone, well...stupid auto correct
Update?
4279160
it will be update on Tuesday. Sorry but this week and Monday i have my finals test. I'll get working on it as soon as i can.
4279401 thanks I understand I have SAT's this week.
Update? And oh how I do bugging people!
4427046
It will be up tomoorow, don't worry.
4427617 YAY!Thanks!
4431988
But it might not be so fast be course I'm trying to publish it but the dumb thing wount let me. But don't worry I'll fix it as soon as I can and post it but don't worry the chapter is already done.
4433681 Oh,okay good luck.
4433681 So do you know when the next chapter might be up(if ever)?