Taken
"Seriously?"
Beta, a short, stout, jowly diamond dog turned back to look at his brother, Alpha, a taller, sleeker specimen, and asked, "What?"
Alpha shook his head sadly and said, "What do you think you're doing, Beta?"
Beta, turning back towards the captured changeling, attempted to put the gag onto the captive. It wasn't easy, though. The little creature wouldn't hold still, and kept trying to bite at his paws. She might look cute, but she was definitely spunky... and Beta hated spunk. Angrily, he said, "What does it look like, genius?"
Chuckling, Alpha said, "It looks like you're trying to put a gag on a mute girl. But that can't be what you're trying to do, since that would be stupid."
Blushing furiously, Beta realized that, yes, that would be stupid. What was she going to do? Scream for help? "Right," Beta said, now slightly ashamed, "Sorry, I wasn't thinking..."
Omega, the youngest member of the group, snorted in amusement. Barely more than a pup, Alpha felt bad about bringing his son into this, but needs must.
Rolling his eyes theatrically, Alpha said, "Obviously." Alpha then knelt and faced the young changeling directly. "Sorry about this, little lady. Are you hurt?"
The changeling gave the diamond dog a long look, then slowly shook her head.
"Good," Alpha said, nodding. "Sorry about getting you wrapped up in this mess. However, what the boss wants, the boss gets, and the boss says that we need you to finish the job. Just stay put and don't cause any trouble, and you'll be home before you know it."
The little one gave another long look, then gave a very brief nod.
Alpha turned towards Beta, and asked, "Is Delta back yet?" The bulldog shook his head. "Top?" Another shake. "Great. Well, they'd both better get back soon. This has fiasco written all over it, and I want to get this done with, and us on our way, before it explodes in our faces..."
------------------------
Delta, a youngish female diamond dog (no, they do not use THAT word to describe their females, thank you very much), readied to throw the brick. A message was written in a note tied around the brick, and she had been instructed to throw it as soon as Platinum Print entered Guard Headquarters. The pegasus had just flown in, tears in her eyes, obviously upset. Delta's heart went out to her, as a fellow mother, but it was the only way...
As she cocked her arm back to throw, something caught her arm and stopped her. She looked back, and then up, at the stranger towering over her.
"Uh oh."
-------------------------
Ling had to admit, her kidnapping was expertly done: her abductor had snuck into the house during the day, while Silver Lance and Platinum Print were both out, Silver at work and Plat rushing out to make a quick flight over to the store to get a gallon of milk. The pegasus was only going to be gone five minutes, but five minutes was more than enough.
Somehow, one of them had jimmied open a window, and the tall one had come in, thrown a sack over her, and was out in less than a minute. As neat a piece of work as any changeling could have ever executed. She idly wondered if they gave lessons.
Still, this was bad news: she knew that Sil and Plat didn't have a huge amount of money, so this couldn't be about extorting cash from them in exchange for her release. It wasn't likely to be about revenge against her, since, until now, changelings and diamond dogs had never encountered one another, as far as she knew, until today. That meant one of two things: either they wanted revenge against Silver Lance for something, and were planning on using her to get it... or they planned on using her connection to the guard commander to extort something from him, something that only a guard commander would have access to...
-----------------------
Delta the Diamond Dog was having a really bad day. Her job was just supposed to be to deliver the ransom demand to Silver Lance, but things didn't go anywhere nearly as easily as she had hoped. She was now tied to a chair with several very angry guards staring at her.
Silver Lance glared at Delta as he went over this one more time. "So," he repeated, his teeth grit with suppressed rage, "Your boss wants me to turn over the Dog Star Diamond, one of the national treasures of Equestria, to him, in exchange for my daughter?"
Delta nodded, too afraid to speak. She got the distinct impression that the only reason why the unicorn wasn't twisting her head off right now was due to the fact that she was a girl. She couldn't count on that saving her if she angered him any further.
Sky Writer, a young lieutenant, raised an eyebrow, and asked, "And how, exactly, does your boss expect the commander to get it? A national treasure isn't easy to come by."
Delta gulped, then said, "Only three beings in Equestria have a key to let them into the Vault Of National Treasures. Two of them are princesses, and each keep a key magically sealed away in a pocket dimension when not in use. However, there must be a third key available, should anything ever happen to both of the princesses, that must remain in this dimension at all times. Therefore, one remains in the possession of the commander of the Equestrian Guard."
Scowling, Silver Lance said, "You've done your homework, then. Your boss expects me to just be able to waltz in, take the gem, and walk out of the vault without any problems? Does he really think that, even if I could do that, that I would just hand the treasure over to him?" He'd be branded as a traitor, imprisoned, stripped out his title in disgrace, or any combination of the three. Not that any of that hardly mattered, given that Ling was in jeopardy...
Looking more than a little distressed, Delta said, "I was told that getting the gem out would be your problem, not ours. And that if you didn't go along with it, you'd be sorry."
The unicorn's face was immediately in Delta's, barely an inch separating the two. "Tell me," Silver Lance asked, his voice cold enough to freeze the sun, "Do you know what I did to the last batch of thugs who threatened my family?"
Delta, terrified, shook her head.
With a cold, cold smile, the commander of the Equestrian Guard said, "That's a shame: You should have been warned. Go tell your boss this: if my daughter is returned to me within the hour, I will not search for him, and I will not pursue him. However, if my daughter is not returned, or if any harm befalls her, I will be angry. Angry beyond words, and beyond all mortal comprehension. I don't care if he hides in the depths of the darkest pit in the deepest cave on a continent a thousand miles away, or if he seeks shelter on the moon itself; I will hunt him down, and when I find him, he will learn why no one, in twenty years, has dared to try and threaten my family after the first time. Do you understand me?"
The diamond dog nodded, now clearly terrified.
The unicorn's horn flared with magic, and the ropes binding her dropped, cleanly severed. "Good. Now run."
She didn't need to be told twice.
--------------------------
Omega sat down beside Ling, his expression sorrowful. He brought with him a chalkboard, surprisingly enough.
Using a stick of chalk, he wrote, "Sorry about this." He then pushed the chalkboard over to her.
Giving the little diamond dog a long look, she wiped off the message and wrote, "I'm mute, not deaf," and passed the board back.
The diamond dog read the message, then shook, as if laughing, then wrote a response.
"Same here."
---------------------------
Sky asked, after they were certain the diamond dog was out of hearing range, "Did you put the tracking spell on her?"
With a humorless chuckle, Silver said, "Of course. Not that I really needed to: I had one placed on Ling the day we took her in. I knew this might happen one day. Did you send the runner to the palace?"
The lieutenant nodded, and said, "Of course. I also sent out an all-points to Ling's 'fan club'. And to every guard in the city. Volunteers only, of course."
"Good," the unicorn said, nodding. He then turned to the tall, robed figure, the one who had detained the diamond dog when collie had tried to drop off the ransom note. "Thank you. Things might have gotten a bit tricky if you hadn't caught her."
The stranger, extremely tall for a pony, simply nodded and said, "Just make certain that no one ever tries this again."
A grin split the unicorn's face as he said, "If anyone ever tries to mess with my family after this, they'll know exactly what they'll be in for, even if the live in a cave on the other side of the world. This. Will. Be. Legendary."
The stranger nodded again, and said, "I expect no less."
---------------------------
Top chuckled to himself as he clutched the Dog Star Diamond to his chest. Everything was going according to plan: Of course he'd known exactly where Silver Lance kept the key. It was in a secure safe in the basement: he'd scouted the place out weeks ago, although he'd nearly gotten caught a few times searching for it. While impressive in weight and in durability, it was a mundane safe: one spell of selective intangibility, read off of a scroll, and he could just pull it out, bypassing the locks entirely. However, there had been no opportunity to snag it until now, and without the magic key, the Vault Of National Treasures was impossible to open.
Reaching the Vault Of National Treasures, however, was simplicity itself: if you have an impenetrable, immovable vault, one that can only be opened with a very special magic key, what other security would you really need? If you knew where entrance was (and one guided tour of the palace had allowed him to get a good look at the castle's entire layout), and you had the key, then all you needed was a distraction.
He knew that his minions would 'ruin' things: that's what minions did. King Sombra had the right idea, doing the job himself instead of raising an army. The more who are in on the real plan, the more likely it is to fail. However, if your minions are reliably unreliable, they can do a terrific job keeping the fuzz busy, especially if they have every reason to stick to what they think is the plan.
Finding a family of outcasts begging for a way back into the pack hadn't been so easy, but with Alpha, Beta, Delta, and Omega, he'd found the perfect batch of losers. They were patsies, and would draw the focus of the guard, and the entire city, down upon them.
Suckers. Suckers, the whole sorry lot of them.
...Soon, he'd have his revenge on Luna and Celestia. His vengeance, one thousand years in the making, would be legendary. He knew exactly where they would be. As if they would sit idly by while such a small child was in jeopardy. As he came in sight of the warehouse, he flicked the weighty diamond, just the right size to be the heart of a canine, into his mouth... and swallowed it.
Power flowed through his body, power that had once been his, and was now returning to its rightful place. Power that could level cities. Power that could shake the heavens. Power that could bring low even alicorns. Power beyond all reckoning. The Top Dog was back in business. No, not Top Dog. Not anymore.
Call him... Sirius, The Canis Major.
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4032015
Corrected, thanks
Canis Major!? Ooh this is gonna be spectacular!
You’d think that by now, villains of all shades would learn that you just can’t get anywhere in life trying to ice skate uphill. Siriusly.
4032180
Well, it wouldn't be any fun if they didn't try, right?
4032194
Oh, I can already tell their in for some Sirius fun.
Oooooh.
Canis Major? You sound despicably evil...Excellent.
And suddenly im imagining Silver Lance as sounding like Liam Neeson... Not bad
I will admit it's a clever plan on the part of Top Dog, but he hasn't taken into account their might still be guards left. Rule of drama says their won't be, but here's hoping it turns out otherwise...
4032257
An Ursa Minor is capable of wrecking a city, but is little more than a baby. An Ursa Major is considered literally unstoppable in-universe, but isn't dangerous unless provoked. Bad enough that he's evil, but the fact that he is in a category considered to be literally unstoppable is more than a little terrifying, don't you think?
4032427
, I know, right?
This is gonna be interesting. And I'm gonna like it.
If you let my changeling go now, that'll be the end of it. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will make cupcakes.
fixed.
4032649 *Alondro drops (Y. So) Sirius into a black hole, where he learns power is a very relative thing... until his atoms are torn apart.*
The End!
4033893
No, it's "This will be legen, wait for it I hope you're not lactose intolerant because it's gonna be, dary!
This is awesome....
So star beasts ala the ursas? Ok, I can see why they were keeping that thing under pocket dimension levels of protection.
For some reason, I see him as the spitting image of Wile E. Coyote (super genius).
4036187
, he certainly has an overinflated opinion of his own genius.
Guards are constantly assigned to things that don't need guarding. People in the armed forces are often tasked with guarding unimportant walls on native soil, empty rooms, or even the orders on file for them guarding the orders on file.
Anything that's a national treasure would be guarded on principle, and also guarded for the sake of giving soldiers something to do, and also for having a prestigious (read: sounds impressive when you go out drinking) assignment to dangle as a reward. Also, in case something happens. Something like this thing that just happened.
I'm saying you made this an idiot plot by not having him knock out some guards, and not having other guards show up to the empty vault because of a silent alarm he triggered by opening it.
Oh boy. A Bad Dog has come to town!
Wow, using a spell to get into the safe. No one would ever have thought of that!
Okay, before anything else, I want to say that I did enjoy the last two chapters, I do intend to keep reading, and I apologize in advance if this comes across as overly aggressive.
That said, this chapter was a major swing and a miss for me.
It's not just the horribly jarring tonal shift from slice-of-life sweetness to, well, see title of chapter. I guess you could say that it'd be jarring for Ling as well... except a) that doesn't help the reader's enjoyment of the piece and b) Ling is evidently not especially jarred by it.
But that'd be fine, and I was okay with it for most of the chapter - things not going as plan, showing the Silver and company as competent, etc...
Then the last part came along and... well, this may be personal preference, but Sirius is pretty much a perfect storm of everything I hate about so-called conspirators and masterminds in fiction. To wit:
He comes pretty much out of nowhere (yes, he's been established, but hasn't actually done anything) and yet suddenly he's on the brink of victory.
His "planning" is entirely retroactive. We never see him actually planning things, just informed that things went according to plan. Including the ever-obnoxious "I planned to have my previous plan fail".
His plans rely entirely on the heroes both doing specific things (commiting the majority of their forces to the case) and being totally idiotic (the aforementioned lack of magical protection, or 4042043's very good point about guards).
He's smug about his plans despite how precarious they are (yes, it does make me hate him, but not is a "I hope you get thwarted" way, but in a "I don't want to read about you" way)
And, least annoyingly but probably worst, he's done it all far to early. Most of the previous points could have been fixed if he'd been built up more. Give it a few more chapters, let us see him coming up with plans, showing his intelligence, working around the heroes. As it is.... it just feels contrived.
Still, I'll keep reading, see what you do with it. Like I said, I'm still enjoying the story for the most part, and I am interested to see where you're going with this. Again, sorry for seeming aggressive, but, well... I do like the story enough to care.
4047420
It's cool. In retrospect, it does feel a little rushed to me as well. I should have paced it a little differently, honestly. Thing is, though, it was either this, or we got a monologue out of Sirius in the next chapter.
In regards to his plan, it's based on a concept called "The Kansas City Shuffle". Having his minions kidnap Ling, and demanding the item he needed for ransom, was a distraction, in order to make it seem as though he had no way of obtaining the item himself. Everyone is looking at the nice little distraction of four diamond dogs, which have a bad reputation in Equestria already, having kidnapped an adorable child celebrity. Everypony in the city would be watching this bit of drama, instead of the item in question, since it is behind a nigh-invulnerable vault door. His minions think they know what the plan is, the guards think they know what the plan is, and by this point, even the princesses think they know what the plan is, so every guard in the city is scrambling to meet the potential threat of an ancient enemy returning to wreak havoc in the city... which left an easily evaded skeleton crew of guards in the palace. After all, why would they waste extra guards watching over something that they think he can't access? They looked left, and he went right. It's a complicated plot, but it showcases three important qualities of the villain: he's treacherous, he's willing to sacrifice others for the sake of his plan, and he's got an extremely high opinion of his own cleverness, but a low opinion of the intelligence of others.
4049151
Indeed, I am aware of the concept - in fact, it forms the centre plot of one of my favourite movies (if you've seen it, you probably know the one I'm referring to, and I'm not saying it's a great movie, just that I enjoy it a lot) - and for the most part, it's a good use of the method... though personally, I'd have had him do something to ensure the Diamond Dogs failed. In both fiction and, I'm sure, real life, many cons and schemes have failed due to someone unexpectedly doing things right.
That said, I don't feel like it was enough - a Kansas City Shuffle is great for getting around, shall we say, active defenses and counter-strategies, but doesn't do much on its own for established securities. To take an example: If you wanted to rob a diamond from someone, a shuffle would be great to get them to pay less attention to an unexpected way in, but it's not going to make them disable the laser defenses.
Did that analogy make sense? I'm not sure it made sense. Sorry.
The point is, that while Sirius's plan was great for distracting the guards and getting him access to the safe, it wouldn't do much to help with defenses on the safe or the vault. Hence, I'd imagine, why there weren't any, which, unfortunately, just doesn't make sense.
But even then, I could probably have overlooked it. Mostly.
Really? No defenses against infiltration magic? In a city of Unicorns? Really?!
But anyway, my beef was not primarily with the plan, but with how it was put across - retroactively, and from a character we know nothing about. Like I said, given a bit more time and development, it might have worked better, but I'm repeating myself now.
Again, sorry if I came off as offensive.
I do apologize a lot, don't I? Only just noticed. Sorry.
...
Dammit!
4032245 4032180 I see what you did there
But siriusly, great so far. BTW, what's the timeline in this? If this is only weeks after the invasion, how is Twilight already a princess? That would have been a few months (at least) after.
I'm saying the tall pony is Chrysalis, and on another note how the next chapter coming along
4032427
Silver Lance is best pony Liam Neeson.
4042043
I understand that the unknown soldier died serving their country and got the shaft in the process of getting sent home to family, but I am trying to make an objective point with emotion and patriotism stripped from the equation. I'm not trying to disrespect him/her/them, I swear!
)
Because honestly, how much protection does the tomb of the unknown soldier actually need? (Don't hurt me, please!
4250450 that was explicitly stated.
6667879 btw it's 8 soldiers bodies I believe.
reminded me of this weird comic:
https://alenonimo.deviantart.com/art/Trade-Gagging-the-Mute-158081691