• Member Since 6th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Autum Breeze

a home-grown australian who embraced being a member of the fandom 2 days before joining. Willingly delved into the fandom whole-heartedly and has never looked back


This story is a sequel to Derpy's Rainy Day

With dragonpony111's okay

Cover art by nobody47

Dinky wakes up, but her mother isn't there. She wants to be with her mother and knows she belongs with her, no matter what anypony else says.

Derpy is unable to find a reason to go on without her Dinky Muffin. What point is there in living when the one thing worth living for is gone?

Listen to Scribbler's reading of the previous fic here

Edited by Princess Glitzy

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )


You use 1 instead of one, though.

Maybe 1 day, they’d go back to Ponyville,

This left only 1 question: Where was Derpy?

Don't replace words with letters. It reads awkwardly, and is really disappointing when the rest of the fic is so good.

yay Derpy was Dinky are together forever again and Foal Services if you ever make them go away for each other again i will sent :flutterrage: to you

I love it. Dinky is so attached to her mother. I got sad when derpy was tying the noose...:derpytongue2::raritydespair::raritycry::fluttercry:

3904047 sorry about that. i was cutting corners because i wasn't even sure if I'd posted it correctly.

this site works a bit differently from the other site for fan fiction I'm with and I'm still figuring things out

This was really touching. I liked this whole thing.

So, Derpy and Dinky are together and happy and only a select few know of their location. In any event, I really like this story.

I'm not trying to down your skill. (15 likes to 0 dislikes certainly matches, if not beats my best story's ratings:ajsmug:) But it is pretty much cannon that Derpy/Ditzy Doo is approximately the age of the main six with her appearance as a foal during Cheese Sandwich's flash back in the episode Pinkie Pride.:derpytongue2:

that said, I do have an appreciation for the struggling mother version, even if it isn't cannon compatible save a really REALLY young mother version. I'll put this on my read later list.

You have many problems with grammar. Your description is filled with errors and so is the story. This is a good story, so I want it to be better grammatically. I am volunteering my services in editing if you want them.

Comment posted by jmj deleted Jun 8th, 2014
Comment posted by Autum Breeze deleted Jun 8th, 2014

I liked it. Of course now I'm going to start looking into Derpy Hooves/Braeburn shipfics because they would be cute together... not as cute as DerpyMac but still pretty cute.

I just noticed an error I forgot! In that last full paragraph where it says rumours, It should say rumors.

3985186 Now, I'm not trying to be rude, but you don't really have anything to back you up. You said the grammar is atrocious, so I checked it to see. I had already edited, but I wanted to see what it said. I put this into the document Word. It underlines things in red lines for spelling errors and underlines grammatical errors in green. There were no errors that were not intentional, like saying hoofsteps, and I found nothing too bad. You say the story is terrible, but give no reason why. All this person is doing is building upon a story that was already written. Go complain to them if you don't like the idea. This is a sequel. If you wish to understand better then read the original, so this story doesn't seem to lack as much. It seems more like you don't like more than that this is a bad story. You have a right to your opinion, but saying that you hate something without anything to back up your claim is just rude. Either explain why you don't like it for future help or leave because shouting that you hate something will just make everyone hate you instead of the story. Goodbye! Have a nice day! :pinkiesmile:

Comment posted by jmj deleted Jun 8th, 2014

4001791 Okay. Now, I do not use spell check. I edited it by eye. Then, because you mentioned that I put it into Word. Yes, I missed some things. Fine. But, it's greatly improved from what it was. I write things all the time and then go back and read it and realized that I missed a lot of stuff. Also, I didn't write the word smelt. It was already there and I just didn't catch it. These are simple errors that everyone makes.

i read this, and cryed,:pinkiesad2: and i don't cry for death(unless it's something/someone i loved beyond love:scootangel:)

it's a cool/sad story, and i understood what was going on with out the first story.:yay:

only two things made me angry: the derpy ************* part, and the fact it ended.:moustache::eeyup: yes, i'm angry becuase it ended:trixieshiftleft:

i'm going to put this on derpy's/my refrigerator door.:scootangel:

4098987 sorry you didn't like that it ended:twilightsheepish: I'm kinda wondering whether I'll make this a multi chapter after your comment.

If I do, it might take some time though, cos I'd have to focus on appleloosa, which I don't think anypony on this site has often done

I like this fic, totally made reading a sad fic worth it. Hope we can see more of Derpy and Dinky in their new life at some point.

4103840 i have no clue what these pollusa things are, but they seem popular, so i'll never read them:rainbowlaugh:

and this is fine as a single chapter sequel:yay: i'm just sad it had to end.:pinkiesad2:

like toy story. you love all the charectors, then the movie ends.

responce: :yay::ajsmug::rainbowkiss::scootangel::eeyup::duck::unsuresweetie::trixieshiftleft::rainbowderp::pinkiesad2::fluttercry:

Please make this a series:fluttercry:

yay a.... happyish ending...

The author of the prequel here. (changed my username recently the story is still on my user page) I loved it except for how fast the story moved along, it would have been more enjoyable to read if it was slowed down with more chapters. Also still needs some more grammar and spell checking, you need to use the past tense more, I have that same problem.

4512239 well, to be fair, this was my first ever fimfiction.

I have written other fan fics for non mlp stuff, but the less I say about them the better.

Trust me, I must have been out of my mind when I wrote those, so be thankful you will never read them, since I refuse to give the name of the site where I posted them

:yay: (no words can come out yet)

:fluttercry: its so sad... and so happy... mehhhhhh :applecry:

that is so sweet and so wonderful...

I have had to stand between one of my friend's children and something akin to ill informed Child protective services before.... granted I did not have a shot gun in my hands but it doesn't make much difference when you are a six foot seven ex military man who will kill to defend what you love without blinking an eye. They knew very well what would happen if they touched the child and they left until they were more well informed, Thankfully small towns have a way of coming together and making a difference for the better.
your story made me cry... I loved it. Especially with the derpy bit. I have always loved Derpy as a character. She hits home hard with me on a lot of fronts. This was a wonderful story thank you for directing me towards it.

It's so... beautiful. :pinkiesad2:

I don't have a own dictionary so i have no words to describe how warm I feel...

Comment posted by Talacapo 0903p deleted Apr 22nd, 2021

Derpy finished tying the noose hanging from the ceiling light. She’d fashioned it from the sheets of her bed.

I know I shouldn’t laugh but this line was just so jarring

So beautiful

I feel that this story should have a sequel that relates the new life of derpy and dinky and also that he did foal protection service after finding out that dinky and derpy disappeared

A cute fluff one-shot. If anything this deserves more. Is FPS going nuts over this? or are we looking at them in the way that the show treated most governmental agencies as dumb as a post?

Family story has it that my mom and I got investigated by CPS when I was around Dink's age if not younger because of some nosy "do-gooder" goodness knows where I'd be today if the case had gone through.

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