Chapter 5
Your eyes slowly open and you stare at the nearby wall for a few moments, the lights in your head slowly flickering on as things became less hazy and you remember just why you’re here. Rolling to the side of your hospital bed and dangling your hooves over the side, you stand up, uneasily at first.
“Still doesn’t feel like a bed of roses... But at least I can stand,” you say with a laugh as you wander over to the bathroom. Stopping at the mirror, you stare into it and let out a heavy sigh as your reflection stares back. “I look like a mess...”
Flipping on the cold water, you gather up a little in your hooves and splash it into your face with a heavy sigh. “She’ll be here... She said she would...”
As if right on cue, a knock at the door echoes through your hospital room. “Come in!” you call out as you step out of the bathroom. Your smile starts to disappear as only Nurse Redheart is the only pony to step through the door.
“You’re looking well,” she says as she walks up to you, giving you a quick once over.
You force yourself to smile and let Nurse Redheart shine her penlight into your eyes without flinching. “I feel good, too.”
Redheart looks into your eyes for a few moments before nodding and walking over to your bed and grabbing your chart. “Pupil response is good... Last time I checked, your blood pressure was normal. Is there anything that feels... well... off? Are you seeing any flashes of light or becoming dizzy for no apparent reason?”
“No, not at all,” you say with a shrug and a laugh. “I mean, my head still aches but it’s not that much of a problem.”
“Alright, but just to be sure I’ll write you a prescription for the pain... A little Hydrocap should help if the headaches flare up again,” Redheart says as she writes something in your chart. “But for now, you can head out. Fluttershy is in the main lobby waiting for you.”
Your ears perk and you manage an excited laugh. “Alright then. Thanks again nurse. And tell the doctor I said thank you for everything.”
Nurse Redheart gives you a nod and holds out a slip of paper. “I will. Now you take care and come back if anything’s wrong.”
“I will!”
You head out the door and trot down the hallway, walking into the main lobby. Your smile slowly disappears as you make it out to the middle of the room and feel Fluttershy’s gaze settle on you, her eyes seeming to gaze right through you, despite the reassuring smile she gave you. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you walk up to her and let out a nervous little laugh.
“I... I didn’t keep you waiting too long, did I?” you ask as she gets to her hooves.
Fluttershy shakes her head and grabs a saddlebag that sat in the chair next to her. “Not at all... I came by just a few minutes ago. Feeling better now, I take it?”
You nod quickly and walk up to her, reaching out to grab her bag for her but stopping short when she slips it on.
“Okay then... Now, I need to go to the market. It’s grocery day. So I’ll see you at my house and we can talk more.”
You trot up to her side and follow Fluttershy out the door and into the streets. “Well, why don’t I go with you? So I can help or-”
“No,” Fluttershy says flatly. “I’d rather go by myself, if you don’t mind. I’ll see you at my house and then we’ll talk more.”
You open your mouth in protest, but you stop short when she starts walking away. “O... Okay. I’ll see you there,” you say, forcing yourself to sound happy. “Take care, okay?”
Fluttershy doesn’t answer and instead continues walking away.
You watch her until she disappears out of sight and turn around, walking towards Fluttershy’s house. Along the way, the gears in your head spin away as you make your plans.
Lunch. I’ll cook her something for lunch.
Smiling a bit, you pick up the pace and trot quickly down the road and towards the outskirts of Ponyville. Seeing her cottage in the distance, you start to jog and stop at the doorstep, breathing heavily. Grabbing the doorknob, you turn it only to find it locked.
“What...”
You see the window curtain next to you move. “Hello? Anyone in there?” you ask as you look into the curtain. “The door’s locked...”
The curtain’s thrown back and the white rabbit stands there on the windowsill, a look of anger on his face as he crossed his paws.
“You locked the door?” you ask in surprise.
He nods slowly and just continues to stare daggers at you.
Visions of the night before and the bunny’s attempt to stop you come flooding back and make you let out a heavy sigh. “Ohhh... You’re... You’re probably mad at me, aren’t you?”
Another nod speaks volumes before he grabs the curtain and throws it shut.
“Hey, wait! Come back here! Ohh come on... What was his name? I heard Fluttershy say it before... Alfred... Anthony... Wait, Angel! Angel!” you call out, tapping against the glass. “Come on, please! Open the door!”
There’s no sound, there’s no movement at the curtain again, leaving you to stand there tapping on the glass.
“Listen, I know now I should have listened to you... And I know I screwed up. I’m sorry, I really am. Just... listen to me, okay?”
Running a hoof across your brow, you take a deep breath and lean against the side of the house. I can’t believe I’m talking to a rabbit...
The curtain slowly opens up and Angel stands on the windowsill again, looking to you patiently as he tapped his foot.
“Okay, I’ll talk quick... I screwed up. I invaded somepony’s privacy and I made an innocent mare cry. I deserve everything that comes my way, but I want to make it better.”
Angel cocks an eyebrow at you.
“I do, honestly. I talked to Fluttershy last night and well... She’s giving me a second chance and I want to show her how sorry I am and how much she means to me. But I need your help.”
Angel’s face contorts into a look of confusion and he just simply looks to you, like he doesn’t understand what you mean.
“You wouldn’t think I was worth her time if you showed me her personal study. And honestly? I’d rather have your acceptance than try to fight you over this... And probably fail,” you add with a weak smile.
You watch the little rabbit roll his eyes before letting out a heavy sigh and jumping off the windowsill, leaving you to stand there alone.
“Well, this is going great so far...” you say dejectedly, hanging your head down before plopping yourself down on the ground.
The sound of a deadbolt turning gets your attention and you watch the door open slowly. Angel stands there on a stepstool and waves a paw, inviting you in.
A small smile creeps across your face as you pull yourself up and walk through the door. “Thanks for, well, believing in me. I promise, all I want to do is make her happy.”
Angel closes the door and nods to the stack of boxes at the back of the room, your typewriter sitting on top of it. He then makes a motion, acting as if he was typing before giving you a quizzical look.
“You mean my writing?” you ask with an equally puzzled look.
He gives you another nod and climbs up on the couch.
“I haven’t done any writing in the last... well, week...” you say with a little laugh. “And you know what? I don’t rightly care about it right now. There are more important things in my life right now.”
Angel stares at you intently before climbing up on the back of the couch so he was eye level with you. He continues to stare until he finally holds out a paw, offering it to you. Reaching up gingerly, you take it and he shakes.
“You won’t regret this,” you say with wide smile. “Now, I could use some help. I want to cook something up for lunch before Fluttershy gets home. What’s she like? She got a favorite dish?”
Angel folds his paws and looks up to the ceiling before smiling and beckoning you into the kitchen.
Walking in and following him, you frown slightly as you looked at the sink, half full of dirty plate, bowls, and silverware. That’s a little out of character for her... you think as you walk over to them, idly playing with them. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Angel grab a cookbook and start flipping through it.
“She like something in there?” you ask as you walk over to the sink and start running the hot water.
Angel gives you a nod and holds up a paw before going back to flipping through it. “Lemme know when you got it. I’m going to take care of the dishes so she doesn’t have to come back to them.”
No sooner than you put your hooves in the water, Angel walks along the counter and holds up the cookbook and points repeatedly at one of the recipes.
“Chickpea burger with hayfries? Hm, alright...” You look over the recipes as you clean a half-full, melted ice cream bowl and look over the recipe list. “Does she have everything to make it?”
Angel furrows his brow and thinks for a moment before shrugging.
“Can you check for me? I’d do it myself, but I’ve got my hooves full right now with this,” you say as you put aside another clean dish.
No sooner did you ask, the little rabbit bound off and started raiding the pantry, pulling out what looked like a number of the ingredients that the recipe called for. Trying to finish the dishes off as quickly as you can, you laugh a bit as you watch Angel start to pile the ingredients up. “I don’t know how I can repay you for this, little guy.”
With barely a wasted moment, Angel runs over to you again and holds up the cookbook to a new page. Glancing at it, you look to him with a chuckle. “What? You mean... You want that?” Angel nods again, more quickly this time and taps the page incessantly. Reading over the dish he wanted, you roll your shoulders and sigh. “Alright, I’ll give it a shot... But just so you know, I’m not a perfect cook.”
Setting aside the last clean dish and draining the sink, you walk over to the kitchen table and start pawing through the bag of chickpeas, the assorted seed, spices, and veggies. “She sure has a lot of stuff, considering it’s grocery day...” you mumble disheartenedly. Taking a deep breath and pushing aside that particular thought, you take the cookbook from Angel and turn it back to the chickpea burgers. “Well...This looks easy enough. Thanks for everything, little guy but I think I’ve got it covered from here. If I need a fire extinguisher though, I’m sure you’ll be there to help.”
Looking up from the book, you see Angel standing there with a fire extinguisher that was just an inch taller than him. He smiles and nods, but you simply stand there dumbfounded.
“You know, I was kidding about the fire extinguisher thing, but...Yeah. Good to know you got one of those.” Walking over to one the cupboards and grabbing a bowl, you set to work and start to follow the recipe.
“Okay, step 1: prepare chickpeas...”
**********************************
“I can’t believe it...” you ask in complete disbelief. “How has nothing gone wrong yet?”
The burgers were cooking away in the skillet, the fries were baking, and you even had enough time to set aside a pitcher of ice tea.
“Like, seriously... This is creepy. I keep expecting like, I don’t know, the oven to explode or for the food to spontaneously combust.”
You tense up a little bit as you hear the door open and wait a second.
“Ohhh wow... That smells good.”
Poking your head out of the kitchen, you give Fluttershy a wide smile. “Hope you haven’t eaten yet! Otherwise this is just gonna become leftovers.”
“Oh no, I haven’t eaten, I-” Fluttershy stumbles a bit and lets out a nervous laugh as she tries to adjust her saddlebag. “Umm, sorry... It’s just a little heavy and-”
“Here, lemme give you hoof.” Walking out of the kitchen, you offer her a hoof and help Fluttershy get the saddlebag off. “I take it the shopping went well?”
Part of you wants to open the saddlebag while your hooves were still on it, but you stop and take a step back.
Opening the bag, Fluttershy pulls out two ripe cabbages and sets them down on the kitchen table. “Oh yes, actually. There was a great deal on cabbage was going to make a salad for lunch, but I... Is something burning?”
The hairs along the back of your neck stand on end and you take off towards the kitchen. “Oh come on, come on... Don’t do this to me.”
Flipping the burgers quickly, you let out a sigh of relief and turn off the burner before setting the pan aside. “Just a tad browner than I’d like... But they’re fine,” you say as you hold up the frying pan for Fluttershy.
“Chickpea burgers?” Fluttershy asks, a look of confusion painting her face. “Those are my favorite... How did you know?”
“I, well...” You glance towards Angel, who was giving you a motion with his paws that you could only guess meant ‘go on’. Looking back to Fluttershy, you smile and shrug. “I asked,” you said with a little laugh. “Hope you don’t mind, I just-”
“No!” Fluttershy cries out, only to start to blush and shuffle on the spot. “I mean... No... I don’t. Not one bit.”
Grabbing a nearby plate, you push the chickpea burgers off the pan and set them down on the table. “Okay. So, um... You said we’d talk when you got back?” you try ask nonchalantly as you grabbed a couple pieces of bread. “What did you want to talk about?”
Fluttershy glances down at her food and lets out a long sigh. “About? Well... About us, really. And the other things. And of course the date.”
Sitting down across from her, you roll your shoulders before pouring yourself and her a glass of ice tea. “Okay then. Where do you want to begin?”
“Well, I was thinking we start with the big thing.” Fluttershy says as she runs a hoof around the rim of her glass. “Us.”
You take a quick swig of your tea before letting out deep breath. “Okay. How do you feel about me right now?”
Fluttershy stops playing with her glass and puts her hooves under the table. “Well, I feel like you’re going to a lot of trouble... And I think... Well, I wanna know something first. You said you ‘asked’ what my favorite food was. Who did you ask?”
You let out a bashful laugh and nod towards the white rabbit that was leaning in from the living room. “I asked him.”
Her eyes meet with Angel and for a moment, she looks to him, confused. He stares back just as well and finally Fluttershy let out a giggle. “It’s okay...” you hear her say under her breath. Turning back to you she lets out a tired sigh. “Okay then... Next, I’d like to know: where did you plan to go on this date?”
“Well...” you start with small smile. “A little birdy told me that there’s this great karaoke bar called 15 Minutes and I made a reservation for two.”
Fluttershy’s eyes light up for a second and she starts to smile, but she quickly settles down. “And just how did you know that I like karaoke? Or that 15 Minutes is one of my favorites?”
You let out a laugh and take another sip of tea. “I’m going to be honest. Again, I asked. About the karaoke thing, I mean. I had no idea that 15 Minutes was one of your favorites, so chalk that one up to dumb luck.”
A warm smile starts to grow on the mare’s face and she reaches out, taking your hoof in hers. “You know... Any other stallion would have waited until the last minute to admit that he asked the mare’s friends what she liked so he could seem like he knew her better than she knew herself. Or at least that’s what every romance novel I’ve read seems to do. I’m going to be honest myself now and say I talked with Rainbow Dash already. I knew she talked to you and I was half expecting for you to, well...”
“To what? Lie?” you ask flatly before taking a bit of the burger.
Fluttershy opens her mouth and stops short before just nodding. “Yes...” she says above a whisper.
“Well, I’m going to admit that it crossed my mind to say that I came up with it on my own to look good. But that wouldn’t be the right thing to do.” Getting up and walking over to the oven, you turn it off and open the oven door. “And besides, we’re not living in a romance novel. If I pulled something like that, you wouldn’t be wrong to slap me.”
“Oh no, I could never do that!” Fluttershy gasps out. “I mean I’d be mad, but I could never...”
Pulling the pan of hayfries out, you set them down on the back burner and grab a spatula. “I know you wouldn’t. Still doesn’t mean I wouldn’t deserve it.” You let out another sigh and feel your shoulders drop a bit.
“Umm... Is something wrong?”
Leaning forward in your chair, you run your hoofs down your face and shake your head. “No... It’s nothing.”
Fluttershy stares at you in silence, but her expression says everything. “Umm, you know... A lot of our problems seem to come from ‘nothing’.”
“Well... You got a point there,” you say with a heavy sigh. “Well... It’s just hard to explain. But in so many words, I feel like... Like with everything that’s happened, I’ve gotten off too easy.”
“I... I don’t understand,” Fluttershy says with a puzzled look. “How could you think you got off ‘too easy’?”
You stare at the table for a moment, looking for the right words. “Well... It’s like... like... It’s like when I was a kid and kept trying to break into the cookie jar. My mom told me not to and said I’d be in deep trouble if I did. I did it anyway and I felt horrible afterwards. So I came to her and told her what I did and she wasn’t even remotely mad. She just said that she understood and said she forgave me. For like a week afterwards, I kept expecting her to blow up at me.”
“...And you think I’m going to, um... Blow up?” Fluttershy asks uneasily.
Letting out a heavy sigh, you slump down in your chair slightly and look down at your hooves. “No, it’s just... I feel like I deserve some sort of punishment.”
The room goes quiet and you half expect Fluttershy to say something. You glance up to her, not knowing what to expect. What you don’t expect is to see her staring off into the distance, her eyes glazed over slightly and a blush creeping up her face.
“Umm... Are you okay?”
Snapped from her daze, Fluttershy starts to blush even more and shift uneasily in her seat. “I-I’m fine...” she stammers out.
“What... What were you thinking about?” you ask as you lean forward.
“Noth-” Stopping herself short, Fluttershy looks to you and takes a deep breath and tries her best to look your way.
“I-In so many words? Well, umm...” She keeps her eyes to the ground and shuffles nervously in her seat. “R-Remember The Kama Sweetie?” By now, Fluttershy’s face was bright red and she couldn’t stop herself from stuttering and fidgeting. “L-Later on in the story... When B-Bubble Berry was getting really naughty with-”
“Oh yeah,” you say with a little laugh as her story of the candy maker came flooding back. “That was really something, especially with the licorice whip and how Bubble Berry kept going on how he was going to ‘punish h-”
The wheels in your head start to turn and you find it’s your turn to start turning bright red as it all started to click. “You were thinking about... With the punishment and... You thought-”
Fluttershy buries her face in her hooves and lets out a high pitched squeak. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened... You just said punishment and that’s the first thing I thought of and and... I have such a dirty mind. I’m horrible, I-”
“Hey, hey... It’s okay,” you say with a nervous laugh. “Nothing wrong with having an overactive imagination, is there?”
“Well... No, not really...” Fluttershy says bashfully.
You let out an awkward laugh and try to give a Fluttershy a smile through deep blush you had. “A-And who am I to argue if you think that’s the kind of punishment I deserve?”
Squirming again her seat, you hear Fluttershy mumble under her breath. “I-I don’t think I’d make a good dom... maybe a sub...”
The words echo in your head and you simply stare at her for a few moments. “W-What?” you finally stammer out, your face going bright red. “I-I was kinda trying to make a joke.”
“Oh...” Fluttershy says with a blank look. “Ha ha?”
At first, you don’t know what to say or do, but Fluttershy’s fake laugh sets something off in you and before you know it, you’re laughing. It starts out as a chuckle, but it soon descends into a full blown laughing fit. And it doesn’t take long for Fluttershy to join in on the laughter as it spreads to her.
“Why... Why are we laughing?” you manage to wheeze out as the laughing fit slowly subsides.
Fluttershy shakes her head and wipes away a stray tear. “I... I don’t know...” she gasps out. “But it was nice.”
Glancing over at the clock, you let out a little sigh and get to your hooves. “I need to take a shower,” you muse aloud. “I haven’t had a chance to since... since the hospital.”
“Okay. I’m going to go check on some of the animals...” she says as she gets up as well. “When did you want to, um, go out?”
“I made a reservation for the evening, so we still got a lot of time.”
Fluttershy gives you a smile just as you start to walk down the hall. “Wait,” she calls out, making you stop mid stride.
Turning around, you look to her with a twinge of fear, making your stomach start to do flip flops.
“The fact that you... you think you deserve punishment is proof to me that you feel bad for what you did. So you don’t need to keep doing... that. Beating yourself up, I mean.”
You let out a little laugh and manage a smile. “So... Does that mean that things are... are well, good? Between us?”
Fluttershy’s smile falters slightly and she lets out a breath. “It means they’re getting there. Now go take your shower. I’ll clean up the kitchen.”
Turning back around and doing as she says, you make your way for the bathroom and feel yourself grow distant as you clamber into the bathtub and pull the curtain aside. They’re getting there... They’re getting there. It means things are getting better.
Turning the hot water on and turning your face up to it, you let out a sigh of relief as the water falls across you. Why does that not make me feel any better?
Steam soon fills the room and just for a split second, all your troubles and worries melt away, leaving just you and the water.
Things are getting better. And at least that means they’re not getting any worse. Just remember that.
********************************************************
Stepping out of the bathroom with a cloud of steam at your back, you can’t help but hum happily under your breath while you towel dry your mane. “Okay, now I feel better.”
Making your way down the hallway again, you walk up to your door and grab the doorknob, only to find it locked. “Fluttershy? Did you lock m-” you stop yourself short as last night dawns on you again. Walking out to the living room where all the boxes were, you start going through one after another.
“Did I lock what?” Fluttershy asks as she walks in from the kitchen.
“My... My old room. I tried to open the door, but it was locked and then I remembered you cleaned it out. I’m just looking for my comb and some of my clothes.” Looking over the boxes, you let out a little sigh and give her a strained smile. “Didn’t waste any time getting it all packed up, huh?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Fluttershy asks, her face scrunching up a bit. “I just...”
“Just what?”
“I was angry that night. I think I had a right to be after what happened and I just... I just didn’t want to look at it.” Walking off with a little huff, Fluttershy hangs in the doorway for a moment. “I’m going over to see somepony. I’ll be back in a bit.”
“I-Umm... O-Okay. Bye.”
You were only to get out so many words before Fluttershy was out the door, leaving you to stand in the middle of the room. “Things are getting better...” you say aloud, trying to convince yourself. But from one of the corners of your mind, a little voice rings out.
Yeah right.
Making your way to your room again and grab the doorknob. “Wait, crap... It’s still lo-”
The door opens slowly in your grasp, leaving you to stand there in the doorway. “Huh... I guess she unlocked it.”
Walking to your former room, you can’t help but feel a little depressed with how empty it looked. There was nothing in the room, save for the bed, the table, and what looked like one of your notebooks. “Guess Fluttershy missed one...”
It doesn’t take long for you to wander over to your bed and lay down. Staring up at the ceiling and putting your forehooves behind your head, you let your eyes glaze over and let your mind wander.
I wonder if Fluttershy is mad again... She definitely left that way...
Closing your eyes and trying calm yourself, you let yourself relax and sink into the bed. Letting out a little yawn, you rub at your eyes and roll onto your side. “Just a quick little nap...” you think as make yourself comfortable. “Just five minutes...”
*********************************************************
You know... I was stuck for quite a while. I didn’t think I’d ever get over that writer’s block. But then you showed up and showed me exactly where I messed up. And from there, it’s all just fallen into place. Soooo... Consider this a little thank you. I’m going to give you the happy ending you deserve instead of the sad one I had planned. Now wakey wakey.
It’s show time!
*********************************************************
Your breath catches in your throat as you catapult yourself off the bed. Looking around, your heart hammers in your chest and it only starts to calm down once you realize just where you were.
Whoa... What the hell? What made me jump like that, what-
“Oh! You’re already up,” Fluttershy says, poking her head through the door. “I got back a little while ago and I found you sleeping.”
Looking over to the doorway, you let out a litt;e laugh as you straighten yourself out. “Y...Yeah. I nodded off.”
“I was going to let you sleep, but I heard you talking. I hope you don’t mind I let myself in.”
“No, I-” you stop and give her a funny look. “I was talking? Huh...”
“Yeah... And um, I don’t mean to change the subject but it is later. Do you still want to, um... Go out?”
You smile and make your way for the door. “Of course. That is... If you still want to go.”
Fluttershy smiles back and trots beside you all the way to the front door. “I do.”
Opening the door for her and following her out, you crack a little smile and close the door behind you with an added kick in your step. “Great.” Silence falls between you and Fluttershy as you walk down the road, leaving you feeling nervous. “I heard that 15 Minutes is doing this thing with all sorts of up and coming artists,” you blurt out to break the silence. “And hot cider.”
Fluttershy’s ears perk up at the word ‘cider’. “Ohhh, I love their hot cider... It’s lightly spiced and always leaves my tongue feeling funny. It’s nice.”
It starts to grow quiet again, leaving you to grab at anything to keep the conversation going.
“Any kind of songs you like that they play?”
“They’re all pretty nice,” she says with a little shrug. “Sometimes they get a little... mean. Like during Nightmare Night.”
“Ohh? What happened Nightmare Night?” you ask curiously.
“Well... I decided to spend most of my Nightmare Night at 15 Minutes instead of at home like I usually do. And they played all these nasty songs by these angry musicians like Cannibal Pony and another called Fear Factory... They were just so scary!” Fluttershy visibly shudders and looks to you. “I don’t see how anypony could enjoy something like that...”
Now wouldn’t be a good time to bring up my collection of Slayer albums... you think with a nervous laugh. “Yeah... No idea how... But anyway, they didn’t say anything about having those kind of songs, so you shouldn’t worry.”
For a third time, things go quiet as you and Fluttershy walk to 15 Minutes. Things are going great... you think sarcastically. No doubt she already knows I like that kind of ‘scary’ stuff... She’s probably judging me right now... Glancing over to her, you let out a little breath and bite your tongue. Better keep my mouth shut until we actually get there... I don’t-
“What kind of music do you like?” Fluttershy asks abruptly, jolting you from your thoughts.
“W-Well, umm...” You stumble over your words and give her a nervous smile. “Anything, really. I’ve listened to all sorts of stuff while I’m writing. I find playing music in the background really helps the process.”
“Oh! Speaking of which, how has your writing been g-”
You watch Fluttershy’s expression soften into that of disappointment before she hangs her head slightly. “Oh... N-Nevermind... I guess with everything that’s been going on, you haven’t been doing a lot of writing lately, huh?”
Your mouth hangs open slightly as you tried your best not to say anything, but you find yourself mumbling. “N-No... Not really...”
Fluttershy’s face says it all as she glances down at the ground. “I see...”
Way to go... Now I can either keep my mouth shut before I make things worse or-
“But really, I’ve been needing a little vacation as of lately,” you say with a little chuckle. “There’s been a lot going in my life, yeah. But I’ve just needed to... take stock, if you will.”
“Take stock of what?” Fluttershy asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Well... the important things, really. Like... What makes me really happy. And those around me,” you say with a shrug. “You know, the important things. The things like here and now. Because to me, today is a day that deserves to be spent with... with ponies I really like.”
A small blush creeps across Fluttershy’s face. I’m on the right track, you think with a smile.
“I haven’t been doing a lot of writing, so what? I can pick up my typewriter and pound out a few pages anytime I want. Not everyday do I get to make a special mare in my life happy.”
For a final time, things go quiet. Fluttershy glances to you, but each time she does, she blushes and smiles a bit more.
Now this feels better...
*********************************************************
“Such a gentlecolt,” she says, nodding slightly as she takes her seat. “So, I take it’s your first time coming here?”
“Yeah, actually. I only found out about the place in a phone book,” you say with a nervous chuckle. “In fact, this is probably my first time at a karaoke bar.”
A waitress trots up to your table and smiles at both you and Fluttershy before placing two drink menus in front of you. “Hi, my name is Buttercup and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I start you out with?”
“Uhh, can I get some of that cider?” you ask, only glancing at the menu.
Fluttershy gives the menu back to Buttercup with a little smile. “Me too, please.”
Without another word, Buttercup grabs the menus and disappears as quickly as she came without a word.
“You said you’d never been to a karaoke bar before... How come?” Fluttershy asks. “I mean, I know it’s not everypony’s cup of tea, but I think it’s nice.”
“Well, I’m not really big on the social stuff... I’d either be in my room writing or going to signing events. And come to think of it, I don’t think it’s ever crossed my mind to come to a place like this.”
“Do you like it?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty good...” you say, watching the pony on the center stage looking over some papers with a headset on. “What’s he doing?”
Fluttershy’s looks to the pony and smiles. “He’s getting ready to sing. They let you hear the song first and look over the lyrics before you step up to the microphone and sing for real.”
Just like she said, the white pegasus takes the headset off and walks up to the mic and clears his throat. The whole room goes quiet and a discordant guitar riff fills the room before the stallion cracks a smile.
“HEY!
My little baby brother used to play down on the floor!
But now he’s not satisfied to do it any more!
He’s got a funny habit and I don’t know why...
He walks around the ceiling, now he’s stepping on the flies!
Baby brother... Baby brother!
Well he learned to crawl on kitchen wall, baby brother!”
Fluttershy breaks into a fit of giggles at the lyrics and you’re not too far behind her as the stallion really gets into the song.
“Well, just the other day, well-a bless-a my soul,
I found him swimming round in the goldfish bowl!
Since nobody told him that he hadn't oughta...
He swam around for hours with his head underwater!
Baby brother, baby brother,
Well, you may swim all you wish but don't eat the fish,
Baby brother!”
“Ohhh my gosh,” you say with a labored breath. “This is too good.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard this song before... I like it.” Fluttershy’s looks up to the stage with a dreamy look on her face. “He must really be having a lot of fun...”
Looking over to her, a little smile cracks across your face. “Have you ever gotten up there yourself?”
Fluttershy’s eyes go wide and she shakes her quickly. “Oh no, no, no! I could never...”
“Why? You don’t like singing?”
“Well, no...” she says bashfully. “I like to sing. A lot.”
“Well then, what’s the problem?” you ask with a shrug. “Don’t you want to?”
“I... I do,” she says, blushing even deeper. “But-”
Before she can go any further, Buttercup comes back carrying a tray on her back with two glasses. “Here’s your cider! If you want a refill, all you need to do is ask.”
You reach out and stop her. “What a second... I’m a little new here and I’m just curious. How does somepony go about going up on stage? Is there a line or...?”
“Oh! Well, it’s more of a first come, first serve... If the stage is empty, you can step on up and somepony will be right around and we go from there. Is there anything else you wanna know?” she asks with a polite smile.
“No,” you say shaking your head. “You’ve been great, thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now you two have a nice time!”
Turning to Fluttershy, you find her gaze making you uncomfortable. “W-What?” you ask nervously.
“Don’t try and force me up there,” she says, a hint of anger in her voice. “I-”
“Whoa, hold up... I wasn’t asking so I could get you up there,” you say with a nervous little laugh. “You know, I just figured...”
“Figured what?” she asks curiously before taking a sip of her cider.
“I figured that at least one of us should sing tonight if we were going to a karaoke bar... And since you don’t want to, I guess I can.”
Fluttershy blinks a few times in surprise. “Y-You don’t have to do that, you know...” she says with a bashful laugh. “Not if you don’t want to.”
“Oh but I want to now.” Glancing up at the stage, you look back to her with a smile. “I’m pretty good at singing myself... So yeah, I’m gonna do it.”
Fluttershy starts to blush deeply as you get out of your seat. “O-Okay... if you want to, I guess...”
“Well... Here I go...”
Your throat goes a little dry as you walk towards the stage, prompting you to look over your shoulder and back at Fluttershy, who looked just as nervous as you felt. It’s fine, it’s fine... you think over and over again as you step into the spotlight and feel everypony’s gaze settle on you. It’s just like a book reading... Just get it done and over with...
“So tell me, what kind of song did you feel like doing?” a voice from behind asks.
Turning around quickly and coming face to face with a green stallion, you let out a nervous laugh and shrug. “Uhm... Well... I don’t know, really. This is my first time doing something like this.”
“Well then, just... pick something,” the stallion says with a shrug. “If you don’t know, then just pick something familiar.”
Looking towards the boxes full of records, you let out a heavy sigh and roll your shoulders. “I don’t know... I’m sorry for being on the fence it’s just... I really don’t know what to sing.”
The unicorn’s face contorts for a moment before he cracks a toothy grin and laughs aloud. “Well then... How about we let the dice decide?” Reaching into a nearby, he pulls out couple of multi-sided dice and holds them up. “Can’t really complain about the choice if it’s completely random, right?” With a flick of his wrist, the dice hit the ground and roll before stopping, one reading ‘90’ and another reading ‘4’. “94, eh?”
Going through one of the boxes of vinyl records, he pulls out one of the records. “Hmmm... Steam Powered Giraffe, eh?” Grabbing another die, this time one that looked like it had at least 20 sides, he tosses it onto the floor. “Hmm... Track number 3. ‘Me and My Baby’.”
She better not think I planned this or something... you think with a heavy sigh.
“Alrighty then... Here,” he says, handing you a set of headphones. “Take a listen and get yourself familiarized. Lyrics are in the album.”
“Thanks,” you say before putting on the headset.
“Don’t take too long!” he calls out as he walks away. “It’s almost show time!”
You look to the stallion and feel a sense of deja vu wash over you, but it quickly disappears as the song you’re supposed to sing starts up and fills your ears.
“Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing...”
Huh... I think I can pull this off... you think, a small smile appearing on your face. Not what I’m used to, but it’ll work.
After listening to the song all the way through and even once more for good measure, you slip the headphones off and feel everyone’s eyes burn into you as you step up to the microphone. Looking around through the crowd, you force yourself to smile and clear your throat.
Well... Here goes nothing...
Just as you open your mouth, another pony jogs up onto the stage, laughing under her breath as she does. “Whoa, whoa! Hold up there!” The blue mare takes a short breath and straightens herself out. “You forgot about the accompaniment!”
“The what?” you ask, more than confused. “I don’t-”
“Creeps told me what you were singing and you need another pony, okay? So just sing and I’ll take care of the rest.”
You open your mouth to protest, but the feeling of everypony’s eyes burning into you gives you the motivation to actually start. “Fine, fine...”
You take another deep breath and bring your lips up to the microphone. “One two three four...”
“Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing?
I ask myself that everyday.
That is until the weekend comes and the sun has gone away to sleep...
Then there's only one thing on my mind:”
“A good time...”
You try to keep singing along, but your eyes keep shifting to the mare out of the corner of your eyes, singing in and adding a little harmony to the song.
“That's right
Me and my baby love Saturday nights, Saturday nights...”
“Saturday...”
“Yeah, me and my baby love Saturday nights, Saturday nights...”
“Saturday...”
“With the dancing and the singing,
like the weekdays never happened
I could be, I should be dancing right now 'cause...”
********************************************************
“Me & my baby love, love, Saturday...”
At first, everypony is quiet after you finish the song and for a split second, your stomach sinks into your hooves and you brace yourself for booing.
That is, until the clapping and cheering filled the room.
“Whoa... I didn’t think I did that good...” you mumble aloud, smiling from ear to ear.
“Don’t put yourself down,” the mare says with a giggle. “You’re like a total natural! Lemme know if you wanna sing anything else.”
“I... I will!” you call out weakly as you walk back to your table. Sitting down with a wide, stupid grin, you can’t help but laugh. “That was fun, I... W-What’s wrong?”
Fluttershy stares at you intently, her eyes looking right through you and leaving you squirming on the spot.
“Um... I, uh...” That was all you could get out before she cuts you off.
“Did you enjoy singing?” she ask idly.
“Y-Yes,” you stammer out. “It was... Fun. I honestly liked it.”
Oh goddess above... What did I do now? you think nervously as Fluttershy goes silent once more. Was it because of that one mare? I don’t even know her, I-
“I’d like... I’d like to sing now,” Fluttershy says with a stutter. “But I want to sing with you. Up there.”
You let out a nervous little laugh. “I, uh... Sure. That is, if you really want to.”
Getting to her hooves, Fluttershy holds out a hoof. “I do.”
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No problem Creeper.
If anyone sees an error, I am the one you need to hit with the shovel, not Creeper. He just writes the story you all like to read.
bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/wtxl.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/3/8f/38f04e0c-382e-11e2-807f-0019bb30f31a/50b4117cd732c.preview-300.jpg
I saw a 'little' spelt 'litt;e' somewhere
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The only error I saw was this:
It's just a redundancy problem.
I liked this chapter!
2926879
OW! That's one shovel to the noggin for me! I remember looking at that line too a couple times since it was right above or below a page split.
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Oh, I found it here.
Thanks for pointing that out.
Two shovels!
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*Harrumph* A shovel for you!
Carry On
2926943
Ooooowwwwww, this isn't going so well for me.
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/Rainbowdash_Dizzy.gif
2926980 Get plastic shovels like they have in a kid's sandbox
2927094
But dahs chertin! I sird shervul, so day hit meh wirk shervul.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5805-23147.gif
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fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/015/d/a/it__s_dangerous_to_go_alone__take_fluttershy_by_shado013-d5rl4kk.png
Brohoof for mentioning the best industrial metal band ever
Loving the story so far, not sure if want to follow tho... Somehow it ain't my piece of cake.
Read through the whole thing in one sitting and all I can think is....I want more man! Looking forward to seeing this story pan out.
Love what you've done with the story so far, can't wait for more.
It's.... It's Beautiful!!!
Please provide us with more to fill our -or just mine- gaping hearts!
Crazy he calls me
Sure, Im crazy
crazy in love, I'd say~
I say I'll move the mountains
And I'll...move the mountains
As he wants it
So it will be~
The difficult
I'll do right now
The impossible
Wil take a little while~
Crazy he calls me
Sure, Im crazy
crazy in love, I'd say~
I say I'll move the mountains
And I'll...move the mountains
As he wants it
So it will be~
The difficult
I'll do right now
The impossible
Wil take a little while~
Oh gosh, where do I begin...
Besides the substantial amount of grammatical errors, this story has its flaws. The whole self-insert idea is completely negated by every aspect of the story. It's not even a self-insert really. If you changed the protagonist to an OC it would be the same story, probably better. Also on that—if one can change the entire perspective of a story with no huge problems or alterations, that doesn't say much for the quality of writing. Another this is the amount of repetition and redundancy in the story. Avoid using the same words over and over consecutively in the same sentence or paragraph.
Personally, I don't like the direction you went with the relationship. It is way too fast-paced and after being together for less than a day they already talk and act like they've been together for years. The protagonist has completely lost his original characterization and Fluttershy's never matched canon—ever.
I liked it in the beginning, now I'm unsure if I can stand reading another chapter. Despite it all, it's a great concept, just less-than-great execution.
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The one thing I was trying to do was a... "Meeting Your Hero" sort of moment. Both have confessed that they are the other's biggest fan. They've read each other's books enough where they /think/ that they know that pony inside and out.
As for the original characterization? I've been trying to portray the idea of a social mask. You have the way that you act around people you don't know or work with and then you have the way you act around friends and family. Being around Fluttershy causes the mask to slip on and off and that's the root of most of the problems.
And yeah, I'll admit that there are grammatical errors and repetition and those always bug me. I try to catch them when I can, but when you fall into a trance and just start writing what comes to mind, it's hard to stop. I'm not a perfect writer and I make no attempts at claiming I am. If you could PM these errors, if you wanted to, I'd be more than happy to do some more editing.
For now though? It's a story meant for fun and trying out different things. Thanks for the input though.
despite other comments of being to fast paced from personal experience when the significant other is "the one" its actually like you've known each other for years even though its only been a few days
k 2nd person fic winner right here gg no re
The moment it said he was reading her diary, I started yelling at my laptop telling him to stop.
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Nah. Butterscotch is Fluttershy's rule 63. If you noticed, Fluttershy's stories are the stories of her friends, just the genders are turned around