• Member Since 22nd Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 19th, 2018

Fuzzy Snuz


Just started writting fics and I have no idea what to do! Ain't that fun? Anyway, I need a few ideas for ship fics. So just PM me if you have an idea. Don't worry, I don't bite.

T

MC W1SH, more commonly know as Neon Lights, was once a well known MC and DJ in Canterlot. In fact, he was the most famous DJ in Canterlot at the time. But that was until he finds out that his fillyfriend only used him to get famous. Once she got to the top of DJ chain for being Neon's fillyfriend she dumped him. After becoming number one she started to share Neon's secret's and the next thing he knew he was at the bottom.
Sugar Beats was a simple in the closet Stallion, born and raised in Dodge Junction. His parents put constant pressure that he get together with some filly, raise some kids, and inherit the family farm. Beats wanted none of that and instead moved to Canterlot to pursue his dream of becoming a successful MC or DJ.
When the two meet up Neon is at the bottom; homeless, out of money, and addicted to the bottle. Beats however was doing rather well for himself; working at a record store and playing occasional small time gigs. Neon has a very pessimistic view on his life where as Beats has an optimistic one on his. Neon wants not never touch a turntable again and Beats wants to learn from the "master".
But opposites do attract, right?
Inspired by the idea given to me by Definition. Go check his stories out!

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 28 )

Very good start!
I only noticed one error: fillyfriend not filly friend. Just like girlfriend not girl friend.

Must have auto corrected. But thanks for the feedback.

Good start on this story. I hope it gets regular updates.

Not bad! I spotted a couple grammar mistakes (just missing a few commas in different spots) but overall good job! I like at see where you're going with this story, should be good.

3903598 Would you mind PMing me and telling me where exacally the mistakes are? I really want to help improve my writting when it come to these things.

*glares at author* I despise you. How did you get access to my personal manuscript?

3903717
Also, I have a feeling this is M/M pairing. Is it?

3903801 Okay, good to know. Not exactly my kind of story so I most likely won't read it, but I will want to keep an eye on this to see how popular it gets. By the way, I found a double negative in the description. Neon wants to not never touch a turntable again.

She ended up going with Celestial Horse Records a company started by Celestia but was handed over to one of her close friends, Fleur Dis Lee. Fleur had no idea what to do with it so she ended up letting her husband sell it to whoever wanted it.

She ended up going with Celestial Horse Records, a company started by Celestia, but was handed over to one of her close friends, Fleur Dis Lee. Fleur had no idea what to do with it, so she ended up letting her husband sell it to whoever wanted it.
Or if you want, you can do : She ended up going with Celestial Horse Records. It was a company started by Celestia...

Neon didn’t remember where it went after that but what he did know was that backstabbing filly went there and made millions working with them. Ponies may not have noticed but she was still just remixing his songs. It seemed to go over everyponies head that she never made an original song. When more of his audience started going to her Neon’s cash flow slowly started to thin out. Before he knew it he was only making barely 50 bits a day. He hadn’t a clue how to rise up and just gave up his fame.

Neon didn't remember where it went after that, but what he did know was that backstabbing filly went there and made millions working with them. Ponies may not have noticed, but she was still just remixing his songs. It seemed to go over everypony's head that she never made an original song. When more of his audience started going to her, Neon's cash flow slowly started to thin out. Before he knew it, he was barely making 50 bits a day. He didn't have a clue how to rise up and just give up his fame.

He was a drunk, nopony looked at him as MC W1SH anymore, and they all just looked at him like he was a bum. Neon could care less about what they thought for Vinyl had already told everypony that he was addicted to almost every drug known in Equestria. Now Neon knew this wasn’t true but nopony else did.

He was a drunk. Nopony looked at him as MC W1SH anymore. Now they just looked at him like he was a bum. Neon could care less about what they thought, for Viynl had already told everyony he was addicted to almost every drug known in Equestria. Now, Neon knew this wasn't true, but nopony did.
Or you could put: Now, Neon knew this wasn't true, but everypony else thought it was.

Neon thought about doing drugs a few times but always believed it’d ruin his career. Now he had nothing to lose if he did drugs. He constantly thought over and over of what would happen if he got addicted. He wasn’t making anymore bits and didn’t have so much left from buying alcohol every day. He’s sold every last one of his possessions to fund his addiction to alcohol. He’d even sold his mansion just to get another bottle of hard cider in the morning.

Neon though about doing drugs a few times, but always belied it would ruin his career. Now he had nothing to lose if he did drugs. He constantly thought over and over what would happen if he got addicted. He wasn't making any more bits and didn't have so much left from buying alcohol every day. He sold every last one of his possessions to fund his addiction to alcohol. He even sold his mansion just to get another bottle of hard cider in the morning.

Sitting there thinking about how bad his life’s gotten since his fillyfriend left him. His last show barely sold 1,000 seats, nopony bought his records anymore, and he’d gotten addicted to alcohol. Neon sat in a cold ally way thinking about his next move.

He sat there thinking about how bad life has gotten since his fillyfriend left him. His last show barely sold 1,000 seats, nopony bought his records anymore, and he'd gotten addicted to alcohol. Neon sat in a cold alleyway thinking about his next move.
At least I think it's spelled alleyway. You could also put something along the lines of: ...nopony bought his records anymore, and he'd become an alcoholic.

Beats didn’t really want to work hard every day and he certainly didn’t want to take a huge responsibility like that into his hooves. He’s told his parents this multiple times but they don’t seem to listen to him.

Beats didn't really didn't want to work hard every day, and he certainly didn't want to take a huge responsibility like that into his hooves. He told his parents this multiple times, but they don't seem to listen to him.

The last coltcuddler to come through Dodge Junction wasn’t just made fun of but also assaulted. At least ten ponies circled around him and constantly beat him with anything they could get there hooves on.

The last coltcuddler to come through Dodge Junction wasn't just made fun of, but assaulted. At least ten ponies corcled around him and constantly beat him with anything they could get their hooves on.

Knowing what happened to the last coltcuddler Beats kept his sexuality a secret that he would share with no one. Beats knew that if anypony in Dodge Junction found out he knew that he could never come back to visit his parents again.

Knowing what happened to the last coltcuddler, Beats kept his sexuality a secret that he shared with no one. He knew if anypony in Dodge Junction know, he could never come back to visit his parents again.

Once he got an extremely reluctant agreement from his dad he was off on the train. As he got all his things packed he hugged his family goodbye and boarded the train. As he sat with a huge smile on his face he realized he was finally out of that bucking town.

Once he got an extremely reluctant agreement from his dad, he was off the train. As he gathered all his things (If he was boarding the train his things would be packed) he hugged his family goodbye and boarded the train. As he sat with a huge smile on his face, he realized he was finally getting out of that bucking town.

These aren't major mistakes. Heck, you could probably get away with them if you want. You just need to work on putting your commas in the right places, especially in compound sentences. There were a few spelling errors and weird wordings, but other than that, you're fine. Can't wait for the next chapter. (If you want, I'm trying to put my name out there as an editor/pre-reader, so if you need someone just PM me).

3907475 It's fine and I'd love an editor and a pre-reader so if you're still up for it. I might have the second chapter done tonight or tomorrow if you'd like to help me out.

Is there more about to come? I am curious about what's going to happen.

4608174 Well to be honest I stopped because I was so busy and stressed at the time. I could start writing again if people wanted me to.

4618357 Ok. Where can I vote for that?

4620530 Uh, I guess if you just get some other people that want me to continue writing then just have them comment I guess.

4623855 It would probably be helpful if you could make a short blog post, as I don't know who liked this story, aside from the people who commented before and that would probably draw the attention of a few people back to the story. Anyway, how many would be enough for you to continue?

Hell yah this story rocks how long do i have to wait till the next chapter XD

4759006 So I actually decided to start writing again, so maybe a week at the most :pinkiehappy:

4761820 thanks man its a good story

Inspired by Definition? He is in fact a good writer, seeing as it is inspired by him, I think I will love this story!!

Yay, it continues. YESH!

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