One Is The Loneliest Number
A Demon in Ponyville
Ch. 26: One is the loneliest number.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to MLP or any of its related mediums.
Big Macintosh found himself trudging through the apple trees. To his side was the one pony that he didn’t really care for. Luckily for the large red pony, Matthew didn’t try to irritate him as much as his sister.
With a tinge or regret, the farm pony could not help but chuckle at the arguments or that one time Applejack found herself colored green after insulting the gold stallion’s hair.Nobody and I mean Nobody insults the hair!
“So what up Macky?”
“Mah name is Macintosh or Big Mac!”
“Hmmmmmm… No it's not,” the other stallion turned away from the larger pony with his trademark grin.
The red pony sighed, “Look, just cause Applejack’s not her, doesn’t mean you get to mock me.”
“No, I’m here and I mock everything. That’s how it goes,” the gold pony shrugged.
“What kinda world do you live in?”
“One that I have to share with the rest of you,” the other stallion said with a wide smile.
Macintosh snorted, “Do you just enjoy annoying people or do you just love the sound of your voice?”
“It’s my gift to the world.”
“Hate ta break it to ya, but the world wants a refund,” the red pony watched the passing trees, drawing Matthew to his work today.
“No refunds or gifts receipts. Only store credit,” he finished before Mac stopped in front of a single apple tree. Unlike the other trees, this single tree appeared to be leaking sap. The thick brown fluid that was the life of the plant was coagulating down the rough bark. “Uh, I don’t think trees are supposed to do that.”
“There not,” the farm pony nodded. “This tree has rot and your job is to destroy it without spreading any pieces of the tree.”
“Alright, stand back,” Matthew took to the air, flapping his wings to get a better vantage point and prevent damaging the rest of the Apple Family’s property. There he waited for the red pony to get far enough away. With a flicker of power, he sent a blast of concentrated darkness deep into the diseased tree. Its explosion was alright, nothing special.
Dropping back next to Big Mac, he asked, “So what’s left to do?”
“Nothin. Works done for the day,” the red pony turned and made his way back to the farmhouse.
“Sooooo,” the other stallion began, “Why is it that your sister’s off to a trading festival and you’re still here?”
“She wanted to go.”
“Ya, but when do you get to go?”
“I can’t, somepony’s got to watch the farm,” the farm pony’s eyes were distant, watching the passing of healthy trees with a trained eye.
A thought struck Matthew, “Hey Macky. When do you get to leave the farm?”
“Ah leave the farm plenty of times,” the red pony responded with a frown.
“Not when you’re selling apples. When do you get to have fun? Go meet a girl or something?” Matthew tried to pry his muzzle into the other pony’s affairs with some interest.
“I get out plenty,” the farm pony nodded with a level of finality.
Unfortunately for him, the other guy did not give up so easily. Through over an acre of land, Macintosh was forced to listen to the continuous questioning of Matthew. If he didn’t save his sister and would probably punt him halfway across the continent, the red pony finally snapped on the doorstep of his home. “NOT MUCH A’RIGHT!”
“Yes, the truth. Now why don’t you?”
The pony shrugged his large shoulders, pushing open the door and entering the cozy home. Moving into the kitchen, he removed a large jug of fresh apple juice and prepared two glasses. The dark eyes of the other pony never left him. The gold pony’s curiosity was peaked and since Mac was one of two male he hung out with this was guy stuff.
The red pony took a seat, the worn wood groaning under his large frame. “Yur gonna bug me until I talk right?” The other stallion nodded in affirmation. Then the pony continued, “Ah guess if I have to say why is that Ah’m use to it.”
A golden eyebrow rose questioningly, but said pony did not interrupt.
“Ya’ll haven’t been on the farm long enough, but this job, this work… its gets into ya. It fills you head with a type of numbing. Ya don’t have to feel anything while working. Ya don’t have to be more than what ya are to do it. My hooves have walked these paths and bucked these trees since before Applejack could walk,” He took a moment to think, his red brow furrowed in concentration. “When Ma and Pa died, Ah just couldn’t deal with it. Ah had to work the farm, Ah was the only one that could. Applejack could only do so much and Granny was looking after Applebloom.”
The large pony took a long draft of the homemade beverage to wet his whistle, “Ah got use to the pain, but then Applejack left.” His voice shook so softly the other pony could not tell if it was even there to begin with, “She abandoned us. She left Granny, Applebloom and me to nothin. Ah’m not gonna lie and say it didn’t hurt. Applejack could help with Applebloom while Granny made her rounds. But when she was gone, Granny and Ah felt her just give up. As if she didn’t love us enough to try and take care of her sister or her family. Instead she wanted a new life.”
Those green eyes looked deeply into Matthew’s dark brown. Behind those eyes were the swirling emotions of guilt, pain and the spark of anger. “Ah never thought Ah would hate anything about my sister, but she sure showed me. It never got better either. She’s off on her own adventures without a second hesitation. Ah now she’s needed and Equestria would have fallen to darkness or some other evil without her. But how could something as good as the Elements pick a mare that just abandons her family. She came back, but only cause a magic rainboom brought her back. Ah honestly don’t know if she would come back if that rainboom didn’t happen.”
He took another long draft of his apple juice. “It’s childish to still hold onto these feeling and Ah don’t like thinking about them. But every time I see her go, Ah can’t help but remember how she left me and Granny with our crying sister. She says she’s protecting the family by protecting Equestria. Ah don’t think that’s the full truth. Ah think she wants the excitement and the danger. She’s always running away from her feelings.”
The large stallion chuckled darkly, “Heck, last year she decided to not return to Ponyville cause she didn’t do well in the rodeo contests. She was so ashamed after promising so many ponies she would donate the money too, she couldn’t face them.” His hoof pawed the air, “That’s what Ah call a coward, too scared to face yur friends just because of a silly rodeo competition.”
Macintosh became silent, contemplating his thoughts at the bottom of the glass.
When he felt enough time passed, Matthew asked, “I’m guessing you promised to look after the farm and the family?”
“Eeyup. And Ah’ve kept mah promise.”
“I see.”
The two sat in silent. The red pony found it interesting how such an annoying and stubborn stallion usually got his way when it came to answers. Heck, over a conversation between Applejack and Twilight, this pony seemed to just burst through their uncomfortable feeling with the mad frenzy of a drunken bull.
Mac thought about it for a second and the answer was just that simple. The false alicorn didn’t hid much. He never hid his feelings or pretends to be something he’s not. He would behave when the times called for it, but other than that he was as knuckleheaded as he appeared. He had no limits to what he wouldn’t do and never aspired to be anything more than himself. Maybe that’s why Twilight’s mother issues were opened and solved. She bottled everything up until it exploded and caused a problem.
The opposite was Matthew, he was the explosion that was the problem and sometimes was the solution to the walls blocking his or Twilight’s path.
“What do ya think?”
The strange pony sighed, “I don’t know, I’m not a shrink. I mean Twilight’s making me go see a shrink today, but I don’t know. If I had to take a guest, I would say you are justified in your feelings but you should probably talk to Applejack about that.”
Mac snorted, “That’ll blow up pretty fast.”
“Bottling things up will blow up pretty fast,” the response was quick and concise, “Trust me. I killed an entire village for bringing back a friend of mine to life and using him as a means to kill me.”
The red pony raised an eyebrow, staring intently at the other pony. With a sigh, the gold pony continued, “A she-witch or kitsune seduced Derek when we were in the Isles of Japan. We just finished dealing with some big eel thing. It was Big! It could wrap around the entire continent of Asia.”
“And ya killed it.”
“Oh hell no,” the golden shook, “I was picked to be the distraction. I got to be in front of that thing’s mouth while thirty plus war machines and hybrids made the killing blow.” His gold coat shivered at the memory of those teeth larger than him, dripping with pure black liquid that shimmered in the moon’s poor light.
“Doesn’t sound fun.”
“Oh no it was! Having an overgrown tuna trying to eat you with teeth taller than you is a standard Saturday for the core,” the gold pony chuckled.
“Hmmmm,” the farmer thought to himself. “So you think it’s selfish of me to still feel these feelings?”
“Oh absolutely,” before Mac could snort in annoyance, the other stallion continued, “but you know that’s what love is. It’s a selfish thing. I mean damn, if I could just keep her safe and with me… I’d be happy.” The horse like snort emitted from the golden muzzle, “Sad thing is that would be the worst place for her. My side is so dangerous and so many people have died there.” He looked up into those green Apple family eyes, “But no matter the danger, that’s why I want someone next to me. Even though I know it’s bad, I just… I just need someone there. I didn’t choose to love.”
“That’s what love is, a selfish inclination,” the red pony muttered to himself.
“It sure is,” the other nodded, “Makes you wonder who needs a heart when a heart can be broken.”
“Ah guess that makes me feel a little better,” the larger stallion sighed. “M’ybe the important part is that we don’t act on those feelings. That our own feelings are our greatest enemy.”
The other stallion nodded, “I believe that.”
The two sat in the warm silence of the kitchen, the sun filtering through the windows with bright waves of light. After some contemplation, Matthew said, “You know, you could try something new?”
“What’d that be?”
“Go out, find a girl and have a good time,” the solution was simple.
A smile crested the red muzzle, “That may take a little bit.”
“Why?”
“Cause that pony is out of town right now,” his green eyes rolled, glad to be off the difficult subject the pair were on.
“And who is this special someone? Rainbow? Rarity?” his brown eyes twinkled with amused mischief.
“Nope.”
Matthew took a moment to think. Who was the pony that Big Mac would have seen the most? Then an odd idea struck him. “No… it couldn’t be…”
“Eeyup.”
“Fluttershy, really?”
The red head nodded, smirking at the surprised expression on Matthew’s face. “Ah honestly didn’t think much about her before. But there was this one time…”
It was the end of Cider Season, Big Macintosh was enjoying the mug of heavy cider. A pale yellow Pegasus approached him. She wore a very unusual smile with a red blush across her muzzle. She smiled at the stallion, her voice was as pure as a bell, “I’ve noticed you around here. I find you very attractive.”
The red stallion took a swig of the cider, confused as to what Fluttershy was going at. She scratched her foreleg absentmindedly, “Would you..? Um…”
The stallion took another swig of cider, the yellow Pegasus hiding behind her mane, “I find you very attractive. Would you…? Um.” The mare looked up with her bright blue eyes, staring straight into those green Apple family eyes, “Would you go to bed with me?”
PFFFF!
The stallion turned, spitting out the cider in his mouth in utter shock at the sudden turn for the extremely shy pony.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash watched the scene unfold between Macintosh and Fluttershy. Rainbow turned to her friend, “You sure you gave her from the 5%?”
The orange pony checked the barrel she served from, “Nope, it was from the 50% cider.”
“That explains everything.”
Matthew sat in stun silence, his mouth hanging open. When he got his wits, he responded with, “So Fluttershy’s a bit of a freak. Who’d have thought?”
“Eeyup.”
The pony downed the apple juice before him, making his way outside and towards his appointment with the shrink. “Well, go ask her out and do something new. If not, I’ll make you.”
“Ya can’t do that.”
The other stallion looked back, wearing a smug smile that clearly said ‘Who’s gonna stop me?’
With a huff, the red pony relented, “All right. If it’ll git you off my back.”
With a nod, Matthew left with a very satisfied smile.
0 0 0
The room was small with an overstuffed armchair and flat couch surrounded by warm tan painted walls. On the far end next to the open window was a rich mahogany desk and shelf filled with thick volumes.
The gold stallion with the spiked red and black mane was currently sitting on the smooth leather coach. Across from him was a mare with a soft brown coat and sleek black mane pulled into a tight bun. Her icy blue eyes were studying him with a level of scholarly understanding and compassion.
He didn’t like it. Not one bit.
“Mr. O’Conner,” Sure Note said, her voice was truly neutral. There was no aggression or passivism, just neutral comfort to the patient before her. “You can lie down if you like. That coach is quite comfortable.”
“I’ll sit.”
The blue mare held an understanding smile, “If you’re comfortable. Now Princess Twilight arranged for you to meet me under the terms, and I’m quoting her on this, ‘He’s a crazed sociopathic a-hole that acts like a villain and still retains a few noble sentiments. I know it sounds crazy but that is why he’s your problem.’”
The stallion nodded, “That turned out a lot nicer than I would have believed.”
“Tell me, what do you see in Princess Twilight?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“That kind that’s not meant to hurt or anger you in anyway,” the doctor responded with no hesitant.
“Oh Jesus Christ,” he rubbed his brow.
“How about a different thought experiment?” the mare seemed unfazed, “Why do you think Princess Twilight want you to go through therapy?”
“Because I’m out of my f**king mind,” the gold pony said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“And why do you believe you are ‘out of your mind’?” she asked, holding her hooves together in a very collective composure.
“I kinda lost it during the war. Nothing has ever been the same after that.”
“What war? And what details forced you to believe this idea that you aren’t the same as everypony else?”
His dark eyes stared at her, “The war for my world.” He didn’t say anything beyond that point.
Doctor Sure Note was not offended by the silence. Instead she continued probing the pony before her, “Did something happen in that war?”
“Yeah, a lot of people died.”
“And how did that make you feel, Matthew? Did you lose people close to you?”
“Yeah and it sucked.”
“Do you wake up in the night, remembering their faces and their voices?”
Closing his eyes for a second, he responded, “I’m guessing Twilight already told you about that.”
“Yes. She’s very protective of you,” Note nodded. “The Princess was very detailed in your description.”
“Then why ask?”
“I wanted to hear it from you. You had the dreams and ponies’ important to you were lost. I don’t know your experience. The only way for me to learn is if we communicate,” the psychiatrist showed no outward emotion except a deep calm and collectiveness.
“What if I don’t want to talk about it?”
“We can talk about something else.”
“What if I don’t want to talk about anything?”
“Then we sit here and wait for your session to end,” the doctor’s composure never lessened. She was the absolute master of her domain and herself.
“I guess 200 bucks an hour lets you do whatever you want, does it?”
“No, it’s whatever my patient wants to do,” the mare nodded, “If I may, I would like to share an observation from watching you and Princess Twilight.”
“Alright.”
“I think you lived in a very specific dynamic. I don’t think it’s one that rewards emotion or vulnerability, instead it punishes them. I think that fact bleed into your life, corroding things like personality, the idea of safety and trust. Ergo causing you to misdirect you feelings and taking out your frustration to 'fit in' on yourself,” Doctor Sure Note finished with some definitive note.
Matthew just stared at the psychiatrist, “F**k you.”
The trained doctor didn’t even respond at the sudden outburst, “Tell me Matthew, what do you see yourself as? A monster? Or a pony?”
He didn’t answer, just crossing his forelegs across his barrel in a childish act of defiance.
“What do you see you strength as? Your ability to throw magic around and cause destruction or you ability to save ponies?”
“Hmmmm,” he thought deeply, “I would have to say my Power.”
“And why is that?”
“Because people live if I fight.”
“Is that all you care about? Being able to save them?” the doctor asked.
“Maybe.”
“Could it also be that you want to live? And going by your answer, do you want prevent the people you save from suffering?” Note continued.
“Maybe.”
“Are you uncomfortable talking here? This is a safe place and no one will know what goes on in this office,” the psychiatrist assured her patient, “Not even the Princesses will hear about our conversation. You can talk to me about anything.”
He rubbed the back of his head with a grown, “I don’t know. I just don’t trust therapy. I’m a fighter. I fight and destroy for a living. When there’s something that I don’t like in the world, I remove it. And I don’t need an agent of average-ness to explain to me what words and feelings mean. Talking never helped anyone I knew. Talking about things never got the mission done and it certainly didn’t save any of the lives I saved with my own hands. It’s helped a lot of people get comfortable and stops them from panicking, which is the state of mind we value in the animals we eat. That’s not something I want for myself. I’m not a cow. I’m me and I want to do what I want to do.”
“Matthew,” the good doctor said in her unnaturally calm voice, “The only connection you have with your world is that both use a perception of the world as justification to destroy and kill. You were a child soldier raised in a culture that had to forfeit its morals and values to fight an uncompromising darkness. You switch from viewing your strength as an unstoppable force and an increasing burden. That comes from the society you grew up in looking down on you and seeing you as the abomination.
But we have to acknowledge the fact that unlike your previous service, you chose to listen to Princess Twilight. You chose to come here and you also choice to insult my practice. That is an act of personal chose. It’s you mind controlling your power and yet sometimes I feel that that power controls you. You say; ‘you want to do what you want to do’ and now that there’s no war to fight you can’t help but feel that strength of yours driving you to the next task or the next confrontation. Perhaps it’s that Equestria is just too peaceful to you. You don’t know how to act in a society that has found peace because you haven’t found peace in yourself.
I feel as if you hold yourself to the such a low level of self esteem that you will do the bidding of others because you want to be loved. You want to be accepted on a deeper level, but you can’t overcome your self-image and emotional stagnation. You are the bored because everyday life is not an adventure or a fight. It’s the same as me brushing my teeth or hair. It’s just work. And some ponies have difficulty with work because it’s just something we do. Just like relationships, it’s not about the fiery pits of passion, but the continuous job of maintaining and committing to that relationship. I think you’re afraid of losing somepony because you're not use to the day-to-day grind of maintaining a relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Each pony has to deal with the fear of losing somepony because our lives get in the way. The only way we keep the ponies we care about is by working at grind and not giving up on them.”
The two ponies sat in silence. The air was full of awkward tension between the certified doctor and the suddenly uncomfortable stallion.
0 0 0
Twilight smiled finding Matthew waiting in her library. He smiled up at her and Spike. The little dragon was waving his newest comic book before scampering upstairs too add to his collection.
The purple alicorn sat next to the stallion. In front of him were several sandwiches he ordered from her favorite café. The daisy sandwiches were her favorite. “So how was the doctor?” she asked, her heart fluttering with uneasy hope.
“Eh,” he shrugged. “She’s kinda a talker.”
“That happens, but on the plus side. I have your next 20 appointments scheduled in advance,” she clapped her purple hooves happily, pulling out a marked calendar.
Matthew hissed at the sight of her over eager organization of his life.
“Also you’re never going to believe what I say today?”
“What?”
The look on the purple alicorn’s face was the most adorable thing he could imagine, “Big Mac was waiting outside the train station with a flower for Fluttershy!”
“No way,” the stallion faked shock to play with Twilight’s perception of him.
“I know. Then he asked her out for diner!” She continued, “She was so surprised she couldn’t even talk.”
“That’s not that much different from regular Fluttershy.”
“Shut it. And she said yes!”
“Really?”
“She was shaking so much, but she nodded. They were the cutest couple I’ve ever seen,” Twilight nearly squeed in her girl excitement.
“I thought we were the cutest.”
“No, we were voted most likely to kill each other and no one finding the bodies.”
“That sounds about right.”
“Anyway, you should have seen Applejack’s face. She was so shocked she just stood there,” She finished.
“I’m not surprised,” he shrugged.
“Actually,” Twilight looked out her window. Her horn glowed as she used a vision magnifier spell. “She’s still there, just standing there. Should we be worried?”
“Nah, she’ll be fine,” he shrugged indifferently.
“This is revenge for her painting your hooves pink, isn’t it?”
“Oh you can read me like a book.”
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Hmmm... if neither Applebloom nor Granny worried about that, it should be fine.
Well, she is the Princess of Library. Reading book is her specialty.
The therapist's rant or whatever could use some editing. The sentences' grammar is a bit mangled, and words seem mixed around.
8710872
Thanks. Did a little work and hopefully it turns out a little better.
8711272
No problem. In a flight of fancy I tried to find out if fungi can get diseases, but google kept assuming I meant fungal diseases for humans, so I'm a little annoyed. Lol.
8711301
i'm going to say that fungi can get viruses but not diseases as a virus is the only thing small enough to attack it from the inside
8711531
Makes sense for one fungus cell, but fungi are multicellular as far as I know. Mushrooms are the fruit bodies of the main fungus in the soil after all.
8711531
I think you're thinking of spores which are the gametes of the fungus.
8711751
im talking about there individual cells are to small to be infected with anything other than a virus
EDIT: however i may be entirely wrong so take it with a grain of salt