"Are you sure this is a good idea, Seraph? I don't think she's capable of handling the burden of Tartarus..."
"My dear little pony, I appreciate your concern," responded the seraph. The regal figure trailed her equally royal dress along the throne room floor. "I sense that war is approaching, but I can't quite figure out how to avert it. Tartarus needs a leader who believes in herself and has the capacity to unite the three worlds in friendship and harmony."
"Very well. I shall personally observe the situation and report to you as necessary."
The white alicorn strode out of the room. The seraph waited until she heard the grand doors of the hall shut, their metallic clang reverberating through the room. Sighing, she said to herself, "I hope for all our sakes that this is the right decision, then."
"Damn it! How can one pony sleep through all this racket?!"
A lavender unicorn stood over a large bed with a snoring cyan pegasus sprawled over the sheets. The unicorn was levitating a book in front of her titled How to Wake Up Badass Freakin' Overlords for Dummies and wielding a missile launcher strapped to her back. Around her lay various detritus from previous failed attempts to awaken the pegasus, mostly explosives and other heavy weaponry. As the pony did not even appear fazed, it seemed the unicorn's efforts were in vain thus far.
Behind the lavender pony was an elaborate concert stage. Each instrument was staffed by an identical-looking pink mare with various expressions painted onto their faces. The purple mare set down the book and turned to the pink band members, then gave a solemn nod. With a gleeful expression transfixed on her face, the pony holding the microphone screamed, "Okay, Tartarus! Are you ready to ROCK?!"
After a brief countdown, the stage erupted in loud heavy metal and pyrotechnics, with the vocalist pony screeching so high that nopony could understand her lyrics. The sheer force of the display caused the bed to fly against the opposite wall, shattering its frame on impact around the hapless pegasus. Groaning, the cyan mare started to peel herself off the wall and stand up on her wobbly legs.
"Oh, man...how long was I out for?" The mare looked around at the room, at the shattered bed, at the fuming purple pony, and at the now silent stage with the expectant stares of the bandmates. It took her a couple of minutes to register everything that she saw in the room. "Holy crap, where am I?! And why'd you wake me up?! I was probably having an awesome dream!"
The lavender unicorn, who by this point was grinding her teeth so hard it seemed like she might fracture her jaw, exploded verbally. "I've been trying to wake you up for three freaking weeks! How in the nine circles of Tartarus can you possibly sleep through all of that?! I've tried buckets of water, alarm clocks, physical brutality, explosions, and even a Billy Neighs infomercial with the volume turned all the way up!"
The pegasus stared blankly. "Um...do I know you? Why were you trying to wake me up in the first place?"
"Because you're Rainbow Dash, the new princess of Tartarus! My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I'm supposed to be supporting your sorry flank!"
"Wait, princess?! Tartarus?! What's going on?! And who are those pink freaks over there?!"
"That's the Pinkie Squad. I hired them to help me wake you up, because clearly I wasn't sufficient to get the job done," Twilight replied with a haughty snort. "I wanted to show you the ropes around here and perhaps show you some ways to rise through the ranks of the local nobility, but after the ordeal I went through trying to wake you up, I'm not even sure it's worth it anymore!"
Rainbow Dash waved her hooves around frantically, a flustered look plastered on her face. "W-w-wait! I'm sorry! I could use the help! I mean, clearly I'm awesome enough to figure this stuff out on my own, but it'd be pretty stupid of me to turn down such a loyal vassal, right?"
"Listen here, Bub. I'm only your vassal for your own sake. Tartarus eats ponies for breakfast and craps thunder shortly after lunch. I know how things work around here, and you're gonna need my help if you're gonna succeed here."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Look, let me just go assert my dominance and we'll be done with it. Obviously if I'm the princess, that means I'm set to take over this place. Let's not delay my awesome debut any longer."
Rainbow Dash strode to the doors of the small bedroom, Twilight and the Pinkies following along behind her. Pushing the doors open, they walked into the main hall of Demon Pony Castle.
"What?! Tartarus is planning an attack on Equestria?! How do you know this, and how can we possibly survive it?"
The white alicorn smirked at the black unicorn general. "Never you mind how I know this, Sombra. All you need to know is that I answer to a higher authority than you mortal Equestrians, and I am concerned about the state of affairs. I can give you all the information you desire, and I can give you power to realize even the most ambitious dreams of conquest. All you have to do is listen to me. Do exactly as I say."
Sombra rustled some papers nervously on his desk. He had always been more the type to lead from behind, and he wasn't quite sure how going to war would help his chances for remaining in the security of his swivel chair. Considering the offer for a few moments, however, he saw no reason to decline.
"...All right, Chrysalis. You have a deal. I shall begin assembling the Equestrian Defense Force."
"Excellent, General. You have made the correct decision for the future of Equestria."
Hahaha prinny pie! but twilight as etna that's interesting i wonder who flonne will be*spends aproximately five seconds of thought* holy handgrenade of antiarch flutters is flonne following that rarity would be hogmeiser and applejack I'm gonna say gordon simple because the numbers add up also CELESTIA IS MID-BOSS the netherworld just went to hell!