• Published 4th Feb 2014
  • 9,567 Views, 692 Comments

On the blood of our fathers, on the blood of our sons - The dragon hunter



The Covenant Empire has fallen and the lies of the Prophets have been revealed. Will the Sangheili crew of a battlecruiser be able to find a new purpose for their life on a new planet?

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Chapter 19 - Playing with fire

Chapter 19 - Playing with fire

After her brief introduction, which the alien didn’t even deigned of a reply, Princess Phasmidia watched with interest her captive testing the strength of his restraints. After being stationed in this god forsaken outpost for what felt like an eternity, being in the same room with the Sangheili was a thrilling experience. The alien warrior was truly an interesting creature, a deadly combination of brutality and cold intelligence like she had never seen before, and while he glared at her with his intense amber eyes she had no doubt that he was also studying the best way to kill her. A commendable mental exercise, yet completely useless, given his situation.

“Spare your energy,” she half-heartedly said. “Those restraints are made with the finest Changeling secretion and they’re strong enough to hold back a full grown minotaur, so there’s no way you can break them.” Just to be safe, however, she made sure to keep a few meters of distance between herself and the alien. “So, are you going to talk or what?” she asked with an irreverent smirk. “I mean, you can talk, right? I can’t really see a tongue in your mouth…”

As much as Zhar would have liked to remove that stupid smile from her face, along with her jaw and eyes, he managed to keep his anger under check.
“Where am I?” he demanded, quickly yet attentively studying his cell. The only source of light in the room came from what seemed to be big glowing fungi growing on the bare rock walls, while the room itself was completely bare of any detail, aside for a sturdy looking door made of wood and metal, likely guarded on the other side.

“Not even an introduction? How rude,” the Changeling commented annoyed, only to receive another nasty glare. “Fine,” she huffed, rolling her eyes. “You’re in a underground facility in the middle of the Everfree Forest, surrounded by over a hundred armed Changelings, miles away from civilization or any hope of help. There, are you happy now?”

The Sangheili’s only response came in the form of an hostile growl.

“Hmm, I’ll take it as a no. How strange. I wonder why you’re so upset,” she said, feigning ignorance. “I mean, if it wasn’t for my scouts you would still be unconscious somewhere in the forest instead of having this pleasant conversation with me.”

The Sangheili closed his eyes, took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Alright, let’s make a deal,” he calmly began. “Let me go before I really get angry, and I’ll grant you a quick death.”

Phasmidia raised a brow. “Wow, you really know how to speak to a lady,” she deadpanned, unfazed by the threat. “You know, there’s no reason to be so hostile with me.”

“Ignoring the fact that I’m currently your prisoner, your kind attacked my team the moment we set foot on this planet.”

Phasmidia wave a hand dismissively. “Details. Blame that moron of my sister for that mess. Despite these, uh, precautions,” she said with a vague gesture at his restrains, “I’m not your enemy. I just want to know more about you and you people, nothing more. However,” she added with a darker tone, “if you don’t cooperate, then I’m afraid that things will start to get rather… unpleasant for you.” As to prove her point, her horn and hands briefly crackled with green energy.

“Oh, I’m so scared,” Zhar flatly replied, unimpressed by her display of power.

Phasmidia pursed her lips in annoyance. ‘As expected, he’s not easily intimidated. Well, it was still worth a try.’ The Changeling princess tapped her chin, trying to think about a different tactic. While entertaining to watch, physical torture had never been her forte, and beside, it wasn’t always an effective method to obtain informations. depending on the subject it could take time to bear results. Her speciality was mental interrogation, but while theoretically faster and more effective, she had no idea if her powers worked with an alien mind. Of course, the best solution would have been if he simply cooperated, but how?

‘Maybe a little charm will do,’ Phasmidia though a few moments later, her lips forming a seductive smile. “How about we make things more interesting?” the princess offered with a suggestive smirk. Strutting a pose like a model, she pushed out her chest to emphasize her breasts while casually playing with a lock of her long purple hair. “If you tell me what I want to know… then I will let you know me better, if you get what I mean.”

Even without a disguise, the high-caste females of her species were considered extremely attractive thanks to their exotic appearance combined with the special pheromones their bodies emitted when they wanted to lure a victim. Given her countless positive experiences, she had no doubt that he wouldn’t be able to resist her offer, just like many other idiots before.

Or maybe not.

“If you think that the promise of a sexual intercourse with you will make me more cooperative, than you are sorely mistaken,” Zhar bluntly said, taking her completely aback. “You’re not physically attractive by the standards of my species, your pheromones are just an olfactive nuisance at best, and to be completely honest I find the mere concept of lowering myself to mate with a creature like you simply disgusting.”

Phasmidia’s eyes and jaws widened to an almost comical degree as she stared at the Sangheili like he had just slapped her face. Her bewilderment however quickly turned into anger as her horn and eyes lit up with a angry green glow. It was now Zhar’s turn to widen his eyes as his entire body was suddenly invested by a painful surge of energy. His muscles spasmed violently, his eyes burned, and his nerves felt like they were on fire, and yet, the Sangheili clenched shut his jaws and eyelids as he silently endured the pain, unwilling to give his captor the satisfaction of hearing him scream. After almost a minute of pure agony, just when he felt he was about to reach his limit, the Changeling finally severed her spell. Zhar’s body went limp, the only thing that kept him from collapsing on the ground being the restraints around his arms.

In any other circumstances Phasmidia would have been impressed by such high pain tolerance, but right now she was just too angry to care. “Watch your tongue when you speak with me, beast,” she hissed to the Sangheili, any form of joviality completely gone from her voice. “I don’t care if you’re some kind of big badass warrior on your world, but here you’re just a freak that stumbled upon something far bigger than himself; I’m the one who calls the shots here and you’re going to answer my questions.”

“Why... don’t you try… and make me,” the Commando growled weakly, looking in defiance at the Changeling princess.

Phasmidia grit her sharp teeth. “As you wish.” Her eyes and horn glowed once again and Zhar suddenly felt a new form of pain, something that he could only describe as a presence trying to creep into his mind.

The Sangheili had already felt something similar during his confrontation with Lamia in the power plant, but while back then his opponent had just brushed his consciousness, this time it was a full scale attack. Putting aside the revelation that the inhabitants of the planet had telepathic powers, he focused on his breath and brought back all he knew about meditation to concentrate and isolate his mind.

“Hmm, your mental discipline is impressive,” Phasmidia commented out loud after probing the surface of his mind for a couple of minutes. For a creature without prior experience in dealing against mental attacks, he was faring far better than most of the prisoners she had interrogated during her life. “It also seems like Lamia wasn’t kidding when she said that your bodies have a high resistance to magic. Which means I can’t use any conventional spell to force you into submission.” This made things more complicated than planned, but after spending so much time without a real activity, the Changeling welcomed eagerly the new challenge. “Oh, I’m soooo going to enjoy this!” she exclaimed excitedly before doubling her efforts. His thoughts may be hidden, but even his mental barriers were unable to hide completely his emotions.

“So much anger…” Phasmidia muttered with a frown of concentration. “And hate… and pain… and loss… You have suffered quite a lot… But you’ve also caused a lot of suffering.”

‘You have no idea,’ Zhar thought, unknowingly lowering his guard. It lasted just a couple of seconds, but it was exactly what Phasmidia needed.

‘Really? Let me see,’ she eagerly replied, surprising Zhar when he realized that her voice was actually coming from inside his mind. Before he could focus again, she slipped a mental tendril inside his mind, reaching out for the first memory she could find.


Phasmidia blinked, taken aback by the scene in front of her. She was standing in the middle of a rocky desert, surrounded by the ancient ruins of some kind of temple. A few dry tussocks grew in the cracks between the stones, their dry blades ruffled by the gentle breeze blowing across the plain, while the call of some unknown animal echoed in the distance. The scene was oddly peaceful and almost reminded her of one of the abandoned settlements built in the Badlands before the region became too inhospitable for ponies, were it not for the two setting suns in the red-orange sky.

She was on another planet. Well, technically speaking her body had never moved from Asgard and she was just experiencing all the various sensory feelings that the Sangheili associated to this memory, but it still felt like she was actually there. It was a strange experience to say the least. The air felt different, the warmth of the sunrays felt different, even the gravity was not what she was used to. It was the first time she experienced something like this and for a brief moment she felt overwhelmed by the multitude of new stimuli reaching her brain. However, just as she was starting to get used to these feelings, the memory around her suddenly dissolved like a fog bank blown away by a powerful wind, leaving in its place only a dark empty void. In the silence of this limbo between their minds she could see globes of light floating in the distance like bioluminescent jellyfishes in the depth of the sea, each one representing a different memory of the Sangheili.

‘Did he actually just push me back?’ Rather than feeling annoyance and irritation, she was actually thrilled by the revelation. ‘I love when they fight back,’ she thought, eagerly diving deeper into his mind. It had been a while since she had a good challenge.

While she fought against the consciousness of the Sangheili, she saw glimpses of his memories flash all around her: night skies filled with unknown constellations, worlds covered by unfamiliar land masses, vast forests full of strange animals and exotic plants, odd curved debris orbiting around a giant orange planet, a strange metal structure built on the steep side of a snowy mountain, a highly advanced city built under a colossal dome with a huge metal structure that vaguely resembled the Crystal Empire Castle …

As countless memories flashed and vanished in front of her, too fast to really appreciate any detail, her attention was suddenly caught by one in particular due to the particularly intense emotions associated to it. Focusing her power, she followed the trail until it lead her to a cluster of memories. The moment she reached out with her consciousness for one of them, a new image blinked to reality in front of her. It was an alien world seen from space, a place that according from the snippets of memories she could read was called Tribute.

She had barely the time to take in the beauty of the scene in front of her, when the surface of the planet suddenly changed. For a moment, she thought she was looking at a completely different world, but she quickly realized with shock that the shape of the continents was exactly the same. Aside for that detail, the previously lush world was now completely unrecognizable. Vast portions of the planet were now covered by a desolate wasteland of scorched ground crossed by dark lines that resembled huge scars. Immense fires were still burning in the areas previously occupied by cities and forests, filling the atmosphere with huge clouds of dark smoke, while the previously blue oceans were now brown and grey.

The level of destruction she was witnessing was simply astonishing and Phasmidia couldn’t help but wonder what could have caused it. A catastrophic natural event, like a massive volcanic eruption or an asteroid, were the most likely causes, and yet the more she observed the planet’s surface, the more she noticed how the destruction seemed to be far too precise for a natural phenomenon, which didn’t make any sense. After all, no weapon could cause such level of destruction. Right?

Driven by a sense of dark curiosity, she gathered as much power as she could and pushed deeper, aiming for the source of all his negative emotions.

As soon as she reached out for the new memory, a new scene blinked to existence around her. The Changeling was now standing in the middle of a square in a city, surrounded by more futuristic versions of the skyscrapers she would find in a city like Manehattan. The place had obviously been the theater for some kind of conflict, as shown by the bombed out buildings and the ground all her littered with rubbles, trash, and the burned wrecks of cars.

Turning her gaze on her left she saw what appeared to be a subway entrance just a few meters from her, with the staircase leading underground topped by a futuristic rain shelter made of metal and glass. Fancy, but hardly something that would have caught her attention… at least until she noticed the growing sense unease coming from the Sangheili. Intrigued, she slowly walked toward the metro entrance until she was standing on top of the stairway. The Changeling stared down at the pitch black void at the end of the stairs, quickly realizing that it wasn’t just the result of a lack of illumination, but a mental projection of the alien’s emotions associated with this place: anger, hatred, self-loathe, disgust, regret, … and fear. That last one quickly caught her interest.

‘Oh? Is the big bad alien too afraid to face his inner demons?’ Phasmidia thought tauntingly, just as she felt the conscience of the Sangheili trying to pull her out of the memory. ‘I’ll take it as a yes.’ Whatever had happened in the subway, his increasing level of distress imade quite obvious that the Sangheili had no desire to relive those moments, which only encouraged her to push deeper in order to investigate. The more she learned about his past actions and fears, the more easily she could manipulate him and break his will. ‘Let’s see what are you hiding, big guy.’

What happened next however took Phasmidia completely unprepared. Just as she was about to push deeper inside his consciousness, a powerful force slammed against her, throwing her away from the entrance to the subway station.

‘GET OUT OF MY MIND!’ the voice of the Commando roared as the world around her collapsed in a violent whirlwind of light and darkness.


Phasmidia snapped open her eyes with a startled gasp as the mental link was abruptly cut down. The high-caste Changeling briefly staggered on her hooves and was forced to lean against a nearby wall, but after a few moments the sense of vertigo vanished and she regained her balance.

Phasmidia stared at the Sangheili in surprise and emitted a low whistle. “Well, color me impressed. That was quite a singular experience. Sure, the ride was a bit bumpy, but I can’t wait to do it again.” She still felt a bit lightheaded, but she managed to keep a cocky relaxed facade. “I expected you to slow me down at best, but to be able to break the mental link through sheer willpower? That’s something I’ve rarely seen.”

Zhar ignored her comment and kept staring silently at the floor.

“Aww, what’s wrong big guy?” Phasmidia asked with a sickly sweet tone, feigning concern. “Did I hurt your feelings? Do you feel violated and vulnerable? I hope so.”

The Commando finally reacted. He slowly lifted his head and glared intensely at her with his slit eyes. “I’ve changed my mind,” he coldly declared. “When I get out of here, I’ll rip you apart while you’re still alive.”

It took Phasmidia a couple of heartbeats to realized she had unconsciously backed off a few steps. Realizing her little display of weakness, she quickly recomposed herself and scowled at the Sangheili. “We’ll see if you’ll still be so confident once I’m done with you,” she said with newfound confidence. “Soon your mind will be mine.”

“Then I hope you’re ready for a lifetime supply of nightmare material. That is, if you don’t die of brain hemorrhage first.”

The Changeling blinked in confusion, wondering what he meant, when she noticed that something wet and warm was dripping down from one of her nostrils. Curious, she brought a hand to her muzzle, only to stare in shock at the green blood on her fingers.

Phasmidia silently cursed and glared at the alien staring blankly at her. His impassive gaze proved to be far more irritating than an amused one, almost like she was below him and not even worth a laugh. She was very tempted to put him back in place, but a sudden wave of nausea made her change idea. There would be plenty of time for making him pay and restore her wounded pride. Right now she needed to take care of her growing headache with a healing potion.

“I’ll be back soon. Don’t go anywhere,” she mockingly said before leaving the room with haste, slamming the door behind her.

Zhar growled in disdain, grateful that the obnoxious overgrown bug was finally gone. Now that he was alone, he could collect his thoughts and plan his next move. He had no idea how the situation had evolved after the colossal failure that was their attempt to infiltrate the castle, but he had no doubt that his presence was needed, either to justify his actions to the locals or to assist his comrades in battle if the crisis had degenerated in a full scale conflict. And, as if they had not enough problems, they still needed to complete their original mission if they wanted to leave this backwater ball of mud and return home.

‘There’s much to do, but as the Yermo (1) proverb said, the velithra (2) can only walk the path one at a time (3).’ First, he had to escape from this glorified bug nest. Unfortunately, the Changelings had somehow managed to disable his armor while he was unconscious and with his arms tied up he was unable to reach the manual command to reboot the systems and use his wrist-blades to free himself.

It was an unfortunate setback, but it didn’t really matter. Patience was the key. His captors would eventually make a mistake and when it happened, he would seize the opportunity and show them the real meaning of fear.


The young Changeling queen opened violently the door to her quarters and marched toward a large ornate desk covered in parchments and alchemical equipment.

Grabbing a small bottle filled with an unappealing blue potion, she uncorked it and downed the fluid in a single gulp, grimacing at the bitter taste. “Urgh, I hate this crap,” she lamented, wishing she could just heal herself with the lifeforce of a pony. Unfortunately it had been weeks since they had captured a traveller wandering too deep in the forest, and despite the recent harvest, her base wasn’t deemed important enough to deserve a shipment of prisoners. Putting those depressing thought aside, she slumped heavily in the large armchair located in front of the fireplace and brought a hand to her face, massaging the bridge of her muzzle. Just as she started to feel the potion alleviating the pain coming from her head, the communication disk located in the middle of the room started to hum and glow intermittently. Forgetting about her headache, Phasmidia jumped back on her hooves and hurriedly performed the spell to activate the device. As soon as she finished, she was greeted by the annoyed scowl of Queen Chrysalis.

“M-mother!” she nervously stuttered. “I didn’t expect your call so-”

“Stop wasting my time and give me a report,” the older queen brusquely ordered with the tone of someone having something better to do.

Keeping a straight face, Phasmidia discreetly clenched her fists at Chrysalis’ words. A waste of time. That’s what she was in the eyes of her mother since their failed invasion, all because a stupid single mistake, the same reason why she was now struck in this stupid outpost in the middle of of a forest.

“The prisoner has just recently awoken, mother, thus I have just started interrogating him. He has a strong willpower with a mind completely different from anything we’ve met before and as Lamia said, his kind is almost completely immune to magic.”

“Can you do what you’ve been tasked to do?” Chrysalis curtly demanded.

Phasmidia shifted nervously under the intense gaze of her mother, even if it was just a magical projection. “It will take time mother, but-”

“Time is something we don’t have, Phasmidia. With each moment we waste, our enemies may come closer to interfere with my plans, so I highly suggest you to give me some concrete result within tomorrow or I won’t be as generous with you as I was the last time you failed me. Am I clear?”

“Yes, mother. I won’t delude you again,” Phasmidia fearfully replied.

“We’ll see about that. I’m sending one of your sisters to help you.”

Anger began to grow inside Phasmidia, but she managed to keep it hidden, although barely. “Who?” She asked, trying to sound as natural as possible.

“Mirage. She’ll arrive at midnight at the dry well clearing with the group of drones tasked to help our rebel allies. ”

“I see. I’ll make sure to greet her once she arrives,” Phasmidia neutrally said despite her desire to yell in outrage at the obvious lack of trust from her mother.

“Whatever. I don’t care who breaks the freak’s mind, just give me results,” Chrysalis dismissively said before she abruptly broke the contact.

As soon as the image of her mother disappeared, Phasmidia broke her facade and released a loud scream of frustration before firing several blasts of magic in random directions, one beam hitting her alchemy set, shattering several pieces of lab glassware and spilling their different contents on the desk.

Alarmed by the noises, the two drones guarding the room from the outside peered through the open door. “Mistress, is everything alright?” one of her drones cautiously asked.

Faster than a snake, Phasmidia reached inside her leather vest and pulled out a dagger, throwing it at the drone’s chest with a snarl. The lowly creature could only emit a pathetic whine as the blade penetrated all the way to the handle before collapsing on the ground.

“Clean this mess,” she ordered to the remaining drone as she stormed out of the room toward the cell block, ignoring the corpse lying in a pool of its own green blood.

Author's Note:

(1) Yermo, region of Sanghelios, the homeworld of the Sangheili.
(2) Velithra, large beast of burden native of the region of Yermo.
(3) Ancient Sangheili saying based on the seasonal migration of the Velithra to the mountain pastures after the rains: just like these animals are forced to move slowly and one at the time in order to avoid falling off the side of a mountain, the Sangheili think that you should take care of your current priority before worrying about the future (Halo: Hunters in the Dark)

Comments ( 62 )

So, after over a year of hiatus, here we are with a new chapter of On the blood of our fathers, on the blood of our sons. I apologize for the long wait and also for eventual grammar mistakes due to the lack of proper editing (the reasons are explained more in detail in my latest blog post). Hope you had fun reading it and I'd be glad to read your opinions

The Commando finally reacted. He slowly lifted his head and glared intensely at her with his slit eyes. “I’ve changed my mind,” he coldly declared. “When I get out of here, I’ll rip you apart while you’re still alive.”

Excellent death promise. It's not a threat, he fully intends to do that!

And division within the Changeling ranks is good. I can't wait to see if Mirage or Phasmidia accidentally get close enough to Zhar for him to do something like take them captive or something because they were arguing. I do think he should just shove every memory of Grunt stupidity he has at them and watch them get very confused.

I am so happy you finally started back up. Can't wait for more.:twilightsmile:

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!!!! WE ARE BACK!

Excellent story! I seriously look forward to more. This glimpse into Sangheili culture is fascinating and I am really looking forward to the Shipmaster and Celestia's meeting.

I'll be tracking and looking forward to more! I hope life treats you well enough to share more with us soon!

Dayum! I thought this was abandoned. Welcome back.

Why have the last few chapters been so short? :raritycry:

8935588
Thank you :twilightsmile: Since I first started to work on this story, I've always wanted to portray the interactions between the younger Changeling queens based on competition and antagonism in order to win the favor of their mother, something that Chrysalis not only allows but at times also encourage, because as long as they're fighting with each other the chances of any of them trying to replace her are severely reduced.

8936219
Any chance one might rebel against Chyrsalis???? I'd love to see one just get fed up and go to a town in disguise and get drunk enough to start babbling and get sympathy and comfort from a pony even after their disguise drops since they're to drunk to maintain it.

8935877
Thank you very much :twilightsmile:

I've always been a fan of the Sangheili and the other species of the Covenant, I don't know why, maybe because of how different they are portrayed compared to the humans, each species with their unique traits and mentality. The meeting between Vraal and Celestia is something that I too have been longing to see happen for too long for various reasons, including because it's a turning point in this story. By a rough estimation it should happen after four more chapter, but I can't tell when it will be actually published :applejackunsure:

8936004
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/c/ce/Because_of_reasons_edited2.png/revision/latest?cb=20130407194657
To be honest, the latest chapters were supposed to be transition chapters, but for a long series of reasons I wasn't able to keep up with my writing schedule and eventually decided to try to publish shorter chapters. Regarding this chapter in particular, it was originally supposed to be twice as long than it is now, but I eventually decided to split it because the second half took place in a completely different setting and because I'm still working on a few parts that still don't convince me and that would have caused further delay.

8936230
Sympathy? For a Changeling? Blasphemy! Kill the love-vampires sympathizer!
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/halo/images/8/8c/Elite_Menor_HR.png/revision/latest?cb=20141224105054&path-prefix=es
To be fair I'm still a bit conflicted about the ending of Season 6 and their species in general. On one hand we were introduced to a new reality about their species and new interesting characters (Thorax is too nice for his own good, Ocellus is an adorable cutie pie, but Pharynx is still a jerk in my opinion); on the other I've never understood why so many in the fandom loved them before they were reformed. I mean, people kept considering them as 'unfortunate creatures victim of their tragic nature that were just trying to survive despite the oppression of the evil ponies', while all I saw was a bunch of shape-shifting monsters whose ultimate goal was to replace a member of your family, assume their identity and steal your emotions before sealing you in a cocoon and using you as a source of food (basically Alien and The Matrix put together). I mean, have people forgotten about this?
i.ytimg.com/vi/wxpvXArGocc/maxresdefault.jpg
How evil do you have to be to kidnap a bride the day of her wedding, lock her in a cave, take her place and use one of her most important moments in her live to start an invasion?

We'll see confrontations and internal conflicts among their ranks (one of the reasons the events of the story will to a certain degree re-align with the events of the series) but expect less hugging and more backstabbing during their family reunions.

8936251
To be fair, the wedding can be blamed squarely on Chrysalis and she was the only changeling inside the shield. And I think people liked them for the same reason some find vampires sexy unless they're the kind that sparkle in the sunlight. Changelings are at least sympathetic because they don't kill ponies. Plus, if Chrysalis treats her daughters like trash it becomes easier to sympathize with them.

8936254
Keep in mind that while Chrysalis mistreats her daughters, they too have little love for each other and would gladly kill the weakest members of their group if that meant earning more power and influence in the Hive's hierarchy.

8936497
I think that's why most 'good changeling' fics focus on a drone. Heck, it's canon to the show that some don't want to be evil emotion eaters with Thorax. But it would be amusing to see a Princess get so drunk she starts blabbing and guards quietly slipping into the bar to keep her contained until she passes out and wakes up in a jail cell with a hangover.

Another great chapter and some time with the changeling princesses. I can't wait to see more of them and their own inner workings.

8936251
I have to agree with you for the most part. Looking back, the fandom did sort of paint a 'nicer' picture of the changelings than was canon. I think it mostly just stems from the concept of the changelings then the changelings themselves. Taking a shapeshifting, dark creature and trying to work them into a misunderstood or redemption sort of attitude is rather intriguing, but it's been done a ton. Myself, I fully loved the way they changed and their new forms. (Although it was a bit too quick.) As well to that point, it basically became obvious by the sixth season's finale that their behavior was pretty much enforced by Chrysalis herself just so she could keep her power. If her people are always starving, then she can force them to do what she wants.

As for Chrysalis mistreating her daughters and encouraging them to fight one another..... I can really see Chryaslis doing that. Canon that is. Too many people seem to dismiss how Chrysalis is a villain and give her non-canon good guy traits. I personally do for my Shimmerverse, but that's an alternate universe version of her. As well, it's a self defeating reason to do it. If Chrysalis had not mistreated and encouraged such vile actions against each other, she would have a much more cohesive and reliable army that would dismantle itself just because two princesses wanted to outdo the other. Another point for canon Chrysalis is that she, well, is an idiot in how vile she is. She's all about the grand gestures and such, but it's always done with little forethought and most of her plans only work because everyone else isn't paying any attention or being an idiot. It seems her daughters may have inherited that.

“If you think that the promise of a sexual intercourse with you will make me more cooperative, than you are sorely mistaken,” Zhar bluntly said, taking her completely aback. “You’re not physically attractive by the standards of my species, your pheromones are just an olfactive nuisance at best, and to be completely honest I find the mere concept of lowering myself to mate with a creature like you simply disgusting.”

It's cause her jaw ain't split, isn't it?

8937991
Maybe. I mean, two jaws? How disgusting. How can you properly perform a mating bite on the neck of your partner with a mouth like that? :applejackconfused: Or maybe it's about the boobs. To quote a character from the fanfic The Last Spartan, "they're fat lumps of squishy blubber that dangle off your chest and excrete bodily fluids".

8938180
Exactly. Mandibles or GTFO.

8938197
She is basically the starscream of mlp. Overconfident, idiotic, and downright smug with how evil she is.

Typos:

But you’ve also caused a lot of sufferance.

suffering

Did he just actually pushed me back?’

Did he actually just push me back?

Unfortunately it had been weeks since they had captured a traveled wandering too deep in the forest,

traveller

Putting those depressing thought apart,

depressing thoughts aside,

brusquely ordered with the tone of someone having better to do.

someone having something better to do.

one the beam hitting her alchemy set, shattering several pieces of lab glassware

Allarmated by the noises,

Heh, that's one I haven't seen before.
Alarmed (or alerted?)

Now that that's done.

Heya! Good to see you're still around/alive!
I really need to re-read this before I can get properly back into it though. But it looks great.

I'll check out the blog post
Checked it out, and like the idea of helping out, but I'm not an editor. Proofreader/occasional critic yes, editor not really.
I tend to "go with my gut" regarding grammar, as my last formal basic English education was largely back in 4th grade. After that my college reading-level kinda let me coast through English classes. (I can look at something and say "That's not right" but I can't necessarily say why it isn't or what the "right" way is.) I read prolifically so can manage by my instincts since I've read the proper way so many times.
Plus I really have no clue exactly what being an editor entails, but I think it generally entails some creative input to help the author best realize their vision, and I'm rubbish at being creative. (Again, I can say "Ehhh, that's not quite right" but I'm not good at providing alternatives or critiquing creative decisions such as seeing when a story is going off the rails and herding it back.)

Of course, a lot (most) of this is based on my own deductions (technically inductions, but that would just be confusing since no-one says that) and what I think likely problems would be, not actual experience or evidence, so maybe it's all in my head and all the things I think would be issues simply wouldn't be.

Jeez, long post, sorry about that.

8939740
Thank you very much for pointing out those mistakes :twilightsmile: It was very late when I posted the chapter so as you can imagine it's easy to miss them when you're tired.

As for the length of your post, don't worry, I honestly prefer when people post a long detailed comment rather than one that basically just say "check your grammar" or "there are mistakes, your story is dead to me" (without telling what the problem is).
As for helping, every form of assistance is appreciated, no matter how small it is. I attended several English classes during high school, but it wasn't until I started university that I began reading and writing in English on a regular basis, and while my skills have improved in the years, I'm the first to admit that I still make mistakes (either typos that for some reason the spell-check program didn't notice, or adjectives placed in the wrong place, or the wrong tense form of a verb) either out of ignorance or because sometimes when I write I'm still thinking in terms of Italian grammar, which is a bit different.
I've already established a timeline with the main events of the story (including the ending), so I roughly know what's going to happen, but having someone that points me out if there are text sections that are not fluid or are incorrect would be great :applejackunsure:

Princess tantrum is mad XD.

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And we all know that when people are angry they tend to be sloppy and make dangerous mistakes...

I'm beyond happy to see this long loved story finally get an update. And know that I am very thankful for it BECAUSE I :Fyay:ING LOVE IT!!! :pinkiehappy:


...


And if you don't update again I swear I'll- (rabidly unintelligible scary noises) :pinkiecrazy:

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JK. I'm just enforcing on how much I love the story. :twistnerd:

This story is great! I love it! It makes me want to "REEEEEEE."

This will be continued, right? I really hope it does. Good luck!

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Thanks :twilightsmile: Real life is keeping me busy, progress for the next chapter is slow but constant, so I can't promise when it will be ready.
In the meantime, enjoy this dancing Unggoy
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Ah thank you for clearing that up for me

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You're welcome. If you look at the Author's Notes of Chapter 3, you'll see I had already mentioned the meaning of the word Domo. If you're curious, there's a page on Halowaypoint with a (small) Sangheili dictionary.

Oh my. I'm really loving this. I mean on how you write it, it doesn't have any curb stomping on anyone, there are no overpowered individual, nor even stupid or moronic individual making stupid and moronic decision just because. This is becoming one of my favourite crossover of HaloXMLP. I really love it.

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Victory! Another satisfied reader! Honor and glory to our clan and kin!

Thank you :twilightsmile: Considering how I like both Halo and MLP I want to be fair and try to keep a balance between them :applejackunsure: Overpowered characters make a story boring and dull, while stupid decisions without a reason make no sense and are just a lazy way to justify why one team is better than the other.

Very well done, I honestly can't wait for the Changelings to find out what a pissed off Sangheili Commando can do. You know what they say, you mess with the bull, your gonna get the horns.

Hey quick question when is this story going to be updated?

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To be honest, I have no idea. I've been working on the next couple of chapters for months now, but between lack of free time, writer's block, and issues with the plot development, I can't promise any update soon :applejackunsure: I have not abandoned the story, but I won't rush its writing if it means lowering its quality.

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Alright thanks good luck!

Story still alive?

I love finding these good stories, and then I catch up and see the last post was ovet a year ago...

Someday it would be awesome if this is returned to

I love it! I finished 18 chapters in one night. I'll pay for it in the morning when I need to wake up for work, haha.

hey man I see you on right now just wanted to thank you for this story its well written and I like the consept of the elites being the sorta good guys. can't wait to see what will happen at the meet and the dinner with the elite and the griffon imbasader. pls let me know if you need some ideas or just some moral support biggest fan ~ cody219

Please continue you this story, ill literally beg if i have too

Are you going to continue this story? Because it's really good

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At least we know your still here

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