• Member Since 8th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago


Hunter, fisher, father, son, husband, rescue Greyhound owner, and occasional fanfic writer.


Persistent pesky powerful pony Princess pursues perturbed pretty purple pupil.

Alliteration is the least of Twilight's problems.

Winner of the Third Bimonthly Twilestia Contest.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 124 )

Well it's twilestia and it's done by you...so this is an insta like and fave!!

Coupons, even the royalty need em to make ends meet

It's stories like yours that make me glad I never tried acid.:pinkiecrazy: An acid trip would honestly be a let down after this tale. :pinkiehappy:

With a practiced back-kick and a resounding thud, Celestia’s hoof struck a supply cabinet against the wall. Its doors sprung open and a wizened little grey pony tumbled out, mummified in a tangle of cloth and ribbons and beads. “So glad you could join us, Reverend Waddle.”
“AIR, GLORIOUS AIR!” he croaked, stumbling to his hooves as he straightened his clerical collar. “Dearly beloved,” he began, brushing a pile of sequins off his wrinkled forehead, “we are gathered here today to join in holy… OOOFF!”



im gonna stomp on their heads. :twilightsmile:

Please for the love of all things holy continue this

A Twilestia one-shot with Troll-Molestia? All I can say is: :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

4034978 Might I join you in your endeavor?

This. Just... ALL of this.

Hell, I ain't even gotta say it, do it?


Just... Just take it. Take the damn thing. You certainly earned it.

~Skeeter The Lurker


That was seriously fucked up. :ajbemused:

I loved it. :rainbowkiss:

4035383 you mean for the EMPRAHESS!!! (Celestia)

That was great. A bit short, but overall very enjoyable.

.....I ain't got no chance...:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

(P.S. How did you get those cool line breaks?)

Oh, this is so wonderfully fluffy it hurts.

I mean it. I was laughing so hard before the wedding i think i pulled something.

At the end of every scene I had the overwhelming urge to yell a curse in the voice of The Tourettes Guy.

This was as good as I was thinking it would be. Another excellent piece of work :pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::trollestia:

Funny and Adorable. The two things I love in a story. :twilightsmile:
Thank you for this and your hard work!

Seeing it was from you drew my attention. Seeing the alliteration sealed the deal. Good read. :twilightsmile:

Well this sounds wrong.

:trollestia: :heart: :twilightsmile:

Sounds cool but well Celestia does look good for *dodges knife* "say a number" 2,300 years old, "thank you" *whispers* I was gonna say 1,000,000

After you cranked out the amazing Unacceptable, I knew what I had to do. Now we can get back to TwiLuna, where we belong. (Help! I tried writing Twilestia and I think I liked it! I'm being abducted!)

Princess Bargain hunter! Now where's your contest entry, Scrolly?

Don't you have a contest entry to be writing? Made the line breaks in Photoshop (actually Paint Shop Pro X), posted them to Photobucket, linked as images within the story. Got the idea from Bats.

So... much... squee! Thanks, STL!

Ah, let 'em vote. To each his (or her, or zer) own.

Thanks! Troll, not really, because Celly meant every word of it, and Molestia, no, because she made sure to get Twilight's OK at every turn. But relentlessly pushy insistent head-over-hooves and crushing like there's no tomorrow Celestia - you betcha!

I was hoping it'd go over well, and I'm so glad you all enjoyed it!


Heh, quite welcome, man.

Quite welcome indeed.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Thanks, I got some good laughs out of this! :twilightsmile:

Just a thing, though: For me this would have gone over a little better at the end if Twilight hadn't done an almost-completely-but-not-really-absolutely-unexpected 360. Building up to that with a stronger hint here or there along the way would have gone over better, at least for me. But as it is, it's an excellent, funny one-shot.


I am still grappling with my mortal foe, procrastination. He's a slippery devil, but hopefully I'll have him skinned, gutted, and mounted on my wall in a day or so.

At least I hope so.:fluttercry:

I like this and thanks for it, been wanting to see how the persistent Celestia would play out since I started seeing some of them in collab prompts. Have to say very amusing and hilarious in all the ways she tries to get Twilight, for a moment I started to wonder if Twilight had finally lost her sanity at the "talking bookmark".

4036037 You have three days, btw.


I think I liked it

Your soul is practically mine already.

4036037 "In a day or so" XD

4035934 umm, nowhere near done or feeling good to me. I have something but I don't think I want it to see the light of Celestia's Sun

Rpihohacltntestia? Eeh, it'll never catch on. :trixieshiftright:

Top of the Featured Box... HOLY FLUTTERSHY'S FLAPJACKS! Y'all are just awesome.

"It was time I found a pretty mare and settled down, Twilight. My clock is ticking, and I'm not getting any younger."
"Oh, you're not old, Celestia. You don't look a day over 4000."

Glad you liked it! It was never meant to be as long as it is, really. In what I had, I tried to show a little bit of progression, from Twilight's outright "NO" with the foal names and at Rarity's, to the oops-Freudian-slip kiss in the hospital, to not knowing quite what she wants or doesn't in the bookmark scene, to finally having said "Yes" and realizing she's happy about it, even if she wasn't sure how she got there or quite why she said "Yes". Needed a couple more scenes, I think. My outline had a deleted scene where Celestia wrote a thinly-disguised romance novel ("Solaria clutched her panting disciple Sundown to her heaving off-white bosom, the Empress of Light's lavender apprentice finally succumbing to her immortal charms...") and sent it to Twilight for proofreading, where we would've seen Twilight eviscerate it on technical grounds, suspiciously not rejecting the plot.

Hope the finished product was yummy and filling!

Madoka Me? Ah, you're just sayin' that 'cause I had the gall to say out loud that KoC stands for Kyubey's OC.

For a minute there I thought your spellcheck failed when you attempted "Rhinoplasty".

Happy to see you're alive and well too! These days, what little time I have for writing is spent in the TwiLuna and Twilestia prompt collabs. Even post-TMP, I find I still do my best work when I'm borrowing someone else's inspiration.

Excellent one shot. Progression of a few little things could be better, but nothing I can really complain about.

Prompt done very well, good sir!

Commence read.

Alliteration for the win.

4035459 we do not worship xenos, altough we do protect the cute ones.

it was meh i found it more on the obsessive cute side rather than the slow romancy side ill upvote

4035934 Oh you! :twilightsmile: also hah! No point in resisting it :pinkiecrazy: In the end it's inevitable....

Though TwiLuna is still best pairing!

Please, take a moment to read with your loved ones, because reading really is FUNdamental. I didn't make that up!

:twilightangry2:FOAL! The great Vates Despero neither has nor NEEDS loved ones!:moustache: You shall take my single read-it-alone-and-liked-it-that-way Like and:flutterrage: YOU SHALL LIKE IT!!!


(Help! I tried writing Twilestia and I think I liked it! I'm being abducted!)

Give in to the cute.

I'm not going to lie: the only reason I read this was that astonishing array of alliteration.

But it was fun, in a vaguely disturbing way, nevertheless! :trollestia::twilightoops:

This is the only fic I've read so far that was over-the-top enough to make me laugh out loud. Why is it so okay for goofy romances to take ponies completely out of character?

4036773 You say that like it's not true!

Also, congrats on the feature.

Yep, it needed a scene or two more, but I'm happy enough with the result. FOR NOW...


Glad you found enough for an upvote! I tried not to let her cross over into Molestia territory.

As Twilight has likely realized by now, you're never alone, because there's probably an alicorn trying to squeeze through the upstairs window.


astonishing array of alliteration.

I could have titled it "Persistent pesky powerful pearlescent pony Princess patiently pursues perturbed pretty purple pupil's perky posterior" - but that just would've been crazy, right? Glad you found it fun, anyway!

Happy it made you laugh! We allow it because romance and love make us all do nutty over-the-top things, which means we can identify with the craziness it spawns.

Muchas Gracias! Speaking of which, where the frell is Hyzaku? Probably waiting until midnight on the 7th. You know whatever he's cooking will be epic.

4038078 Wherever he is, it has me wringing my little fluffy paws over it.


I was kinda hoping this would stick with premise. It wouldn't be the first fic I read where Twi would turn down Celestia's advances, bit it would be the second. And quite different then the first.

Ah well.

Persistent pesky powerful pony Princess pursues perturbed pretty purple pupil.

add pony into that and you're golden.

4038078 Nope. My upstairs windows are barricaded... because zombies.:coolphoto:

Normally, I don't read romantic Twilestia, but seeing how you wrote it, I gave it a chance... and I must say I was not disappointed. :rainbowlaugh:

Alliteration drew me in, story kept me, WTF's hooked me.

“Speaking of Rarity, where is she?”
Celestia shrugged and glanced around absently. “Rarity who?”
“White. Immaculately groomed. Runs this place.”
“You mean the cat?”


This wins so hard. Wins what, I don't know, but it wins something.

This is cute, but you really need to be more conscious of theatrics and presentation. The most important part of the story—the reveal that Twilight actually does like Celestia—is so buried and understated that it's completely underwhelming. Smack-dab in the middle of a longer than normal paragraph is exactly where NOT to put things important to the emotional impact of a story.

Edit: Not only that, but Celestia doesn't even have any reaction to said reveal, which only hides it more.

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