• Member Since 20th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 11th, 2014

TheFollower


Just a dreamer with an imagination that can sometimes get out of hand

E

After an accident with the CMC , Scootaloo ends up in tragic circumstances. She lies in Ponyville hospital with a slim chance of ever leaving the hospital. One night she is visited by a mysterious somepony...

Inspired by one of the ten stories in "Birthday Surprises"

Cover art by Nonnavlis
Check out the live reading of this fic by the The Living Library Player Society(They're awesome people)
Friends, Tears and Broken Wings live reading

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 15 )

I wonder who the colt was...HMmmm. Anyways, great story! I felt bad for Scootaloo, though. Can't talk for a year, have to stay in the hospital bed for a year! Geez, I would not have survived that torture!.....Actually I would have if that mysterious colt was there.:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::scootangel:

I like it. I also enjoyed the hidden message in the message.

Legacy... I wonder if that is the mysterious colt's name..... Hmmm..

MORE SCOOTALOOO:scootangel:

This is great. It really is! But it needs teensy tiny touch ups.
A) Applejack is only capitalized at the beginning.
B) I spell the CMC's names Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. It looks kinda odd wen you've spelled it a different way for so long.
C) Instead of mouth/face, maybe you should split the deal and say muzzle.
The only thing left was her muzzle.
Happy writing!
-Octavia

LEGACY... WHAT DOES IT MEAN???:rainbowderp::rainbowhuh:

Sliver isn't an adjective; you were probably going for slim.

The entire story falls apart if you remember that the CMC once fell from a zipline during the show. If Scootaloo can come away from that without a scratch, why would a simple jump hospitalize her for the year? For the sake of cheap drama?

And finally there's this sort of thing?
Another question you may have is, how did his happen?
Why are you addressing the audience directly? Breaking the fourth wall might work in comedy pieces, but definitely not here.

A good first story. Little spelling errors here and there but definite potential. You have a nice day:twilightsmile:

>>SugarPesticide

I would first like to thank you for correcting my grammar from sliver to slim...
Next, when you said my story fell apart, I disagree with this. Remember when the CMC fell when they were zip lining they were unharmed? THAT was a cartoon, my story is inspired/based off a book and has nothing to do with that episode. This is like what happens when a simple story slips in to reality. If you jumped off a tree (and I hope you won't try this) you would be severely injured or worst, dead. (Scootaloo was lucky...)
Finally, where you said I broke the fourth wall, I....I... actually agree with you. This is my first story so it can't be all perfect. But I'll remember what you said and not include addressing the audience in my future stories that are like this. Soooooo...uh...thanks....

pretty fuckin awesome
387481 oh and, ive managed to jump from trees without hurting myself, at least I didn't notice if i hurt myself:derpyderp2:

Comment posted by TheFollower deleted Apr 24th, 2013

>>SugarPestisice
Silver in this sence was an adjective!:ajbemused:
And I could totally see this happening! I wrote a story where one the Cutie Mark Crusaders, namely :applecry:, takes quite the tumble and is badly injured.

P.S. I :heart: :scootangel:! You heard me, I'm a Scootafan and have started a :scootangel: fanclub on Deviantart!

Sweet! Thanks for posting the cover art and the reading :D You sir, have earned one :moustache: today ^_^.

I liked it except for one thing. You never mention Rainbow Dash coming to visit her. Yes, I know that you said it was based off of a book. But I think that Dash would've wanted to see her number one fan.

2537257 I agree but still it was a pretty good story!

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