The Adventures of the Tickling-Fixated Human in Equestria

by Unusually Delusional

Rarity 1

Luna showed an almost-unhealthy fascination with you tickling her. While it was a cute and unexpected twist at the beginning, and endearing for the next few instances thereafter, now it was getting kind of stale. You meant, let's not kid yourself, she was cute as hell when you're tickling her, but her reactions were predictable by now. You hungered for fresh meat. Tender, sensitive hoofmeat.

You might have a problem.

Anyways, you found yourself receiving a letter one day.

I wish to help you with your ensemble, Tom. A man as... one-of-a-kind as yourself deserves a similarly unique warddrobe! Stop by my Boutique when chance next brings you to Ponyville -- my door is always open to you, Tom! – signed with a fancy-looking 'R'.

Well, it looked like it was back to Ponyville to meet with the biggest fashionista of them all -- Rarity, herself.

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You'd think, by now, that your publicly-known presence would be enough to divert the weird stares from Equestrian locals. But of course, young fillies and colts who were your co-passengers aboard the Ponyville Express pointed excitedly at you as their parents nervously attempted to stop their gaping – nothing new, but still made you feel like crap for how little you belonged. As you arrived at the Ponyville train station, you ignored the veiled stares and stepped off the train, shaking your head despite yourself at the unconscious embarrassment.

Well, time to find Carousel Boutique. It was really too bad ponies didn't really grasp the concept of detailed maps. Well, Ponyville wasn't THAT big... A few hours later, you sheepishly asked an unusually-happy mare with a few bunches of berries as a Cutie Mark for directions. She was all too eager to point you in the right direction, before walking off muttering something about buying more coolers. Before long, you found yourself in front of-

Well, hell, it was called Carousel Boutique, but did it REALLY need to look like a merry-go-round? Shrugging, you walked up to the door and knocked. You could have sworn you heard a mare's voice groan with frustration. Before you couldn process it, the same voice spoke aloud.

"I'm so very sorry, but we're closed for the day. Please return during normal business hours tomorrow, if you please!"

Your hands dropped to your sides and you released a sigh. Where the hell were you supposed to stay? It was getting towards evening, and ponies didn't exactly spring for hotels that you had seen.

"Uh... Ms. Rarity? It's me, Tom. You told me to stop by- I mean, I know it's getting late, but I couldn't find your Boutique, and you said you'd be open to me anytime..."

"Tom? WAIT!" Her voice had slipped from grumbling indifference to enthusiasm. You seemed to have an effect on these horses for whatever reason. "Just- give me a minute!" A series of indecipherable noises emanated from beyond the door. You frowned and cocked your head to one side in confusion. Well, okay then, no need to rush on YOUR account...

The door slammed open. A thoroughly-disheveled Rarity stood there, looking at you with an excited expression. You noted that the demure, collected pony you had briefly met some time ago was distinctly... unkempt at the moment. She cleared her throat.

"Ah, hmm-mmm. Tom. How nice of you to come!"

"Is this a bad time, Ms. Rarity? I can always come back tomorrow-"

She waved a hoof in denial. "No, no, nothing like that. Just- unexpected, that's all. Please, do come in. And you needn't call me 'Ms.', otherwise I may feel compelled to call you 'Thomas'!" And so you found yourself knowing yet another pony with whom you were now on a first-name basis.

The two of you shared a nervous laugh, then trailed off and shifted eyes around the shop. Fabric rolls and clothing patterns were everywhere – she seemed to have been quite busy today. You attempted to control your gaze from seeming too judgmental, but she noticed and blushed slightly.

"Oh, PLEASE excuse the mess, Tom," she said absentmindedly as her horn began glowing. Random bric-a-brac started floating about, finding its way to its appropriate storage place. "I've just been so very busy all day today..." A roll of silk barely cleared your nose as it floated towards its cubbyhole, and you wisely failed to point it out aloud. "... and I wasn't expecting you to show up, that's all!"

"Rarity," you said comfortingly, "Really, it's not that big a deal. I'm not busy, I don't have a job like you do, we can always do this tomorrow - or some other day! I don't want to intrude on your work-"

"Hap-bup-bup!" She silenced you with an admonishing chirp; you found it soul-crushingly charming. "I said stop in any time, and by Celestia, I MEANT it!" She stomped a hoof determinedly, face screwed up into a stoic expression.

The unflappable expression gavw way to a look of resignation as she hung her head with a sigh. "Oh, who am I kidding, Tom?" You weren't sure if it's a rhetorical question. "I don't want to offend you in any way," Offend YOU? YOU'RE the one who's walking on eggshells trying not to get lynched by a herd of tiny technicolor horses. "-It's just that I've been so busy today. You really came at a terrible time, Tom, I've been up to my eyes in orders and it's just been so stressful..."

Her horn glowed again, and you braced yourself unconsciously. Your experiences with Luna had taught you to fear magically-thrown objects, as she remembered she could use her horn even if you could overpower her. But it was nothing like that; she just dragged a sofa to her side before flopping down upon it unceremoniously. "Tom, dear, you don't understand, I've been on my hooves all day..." Your ears perked a bit. Ohhh?

She held a hoof up to her eyes and stared at it, expression turning pouty. "I simply can't bear another moment walking about, Tom." Your twisted mind was already working overdrive to process this information – and it offered a wonderful opportunity. "I'm afraid, Tom, that despite my misgivings, we will simply have to postpone this to tomorrow morning. Would that be acceptable to you?"

You paced forward, holding your arms and hands up in a shrug. "Well, sure, Rarity, that's fine by me," you said casually as you walked towards the self-pitying pony. You stopped an arm's-length away, no need to get too creepy in case your plan went south. "I just don't like to leave you alone with your poor hooves like they are..."

She chuckled a bit, waving a forehoof at you dismissively. "Oh, Tom, stop it," she said meekly, "it's nothing you need concern yourself with!"

"I don't NEED to, sure," you said offhandedly, "But I CHOOSE to."

She looked at you, brows wrinkled in consideration, rubbing her chin with a hoof in thought. "Do tell," she asked curiously, "what is it you have in mind?" It's a delicate game you're playing here... You had no idea where Rarity's boundaries start and stop. Luna was pretty cut-and-dried, but Rarity was an unknown quantity.

Here be dragons.

"Oh, nothing in particular," you said idly, allowing your stare to take in the organized chaos that was the inside of the shop. "Just, you know, maybe something like a... hoof massage...?"

Rarity blushed and clapped a hoof to her mouth. "Oh, no, Tom, I would never ask you to do something so..."

You backed up immediately. "I'm sorry, Rarity, I didn't want to intrude or offend-"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not offended, it's just... that's not really something I'd ask of a friend."

WE FRIENDSHIP NOW! "What're friends for, Rarity?"

She giggled. "Nothing so crude as a HOOF MASSAGE, darling!"

"Well, then, allow me to attempt to persuade you." You were done with the reluctant approach – time for forwardness. You grasped one of those beautiful rear hooves and began kneading the soft flesh, losing yourself in the process.

"Oh!" Rarity squeaked a bit in surprise as you start, but slowly melted under your ministrations. "Tom, mmmm... That feels... good."

"See, Rarity? Told ya!"

She giggled again, the girlish sound coming from the sophisticated mare delightful in its oxymoronic nature. "Tom, stop it. You're spoiling me!"

You chuckled warmly and continued working into the warm underhoof, appreciating the way it gave under your fingers' pressure. Rarity, at this point, had collapsed wholesale onto the divan, face tilted back and eyes closed in pleasure as she twisted a bit at the pleasant sensations. You couldn't say you weren't enjoying this, yourself; but hell, let's face it, you're a person of a distinctly one-track mind.
While you liked the pleasure of giving a foot (hoof, as it were) massage as much as the next guy, you were after one thing in reality. And that was mining the laughter out of ponies using your fingers like so many pickaxes.

"Rarity?" you interjected as you continued rubbing.

"Hmmmmmmm?" the questioning groan was long and almost-sensual, and she rolled her head and opened her eyes slightly to stare at you. You felt almost sorry for what you were about to do. Keyword: almost.

"Just curious, really," you said, as one hand drew back and formed into a bit of a claw. "I've heard ponies and humans share a common trait."

"And what's that, darling?"

If Rarity broke the trend (which, admittedly, had only one participant thus far, but still), this would become really awkward, really fast. "Well, tell me. Are ponies-" Your 'attacking' hand darted forward as you shifted the massaging hand into a deathgrip on her hoof. "-ticklish?"

"What? Tom, of course we a-WAHAHA!" Success! She began bucking as you started scrabbling over the gentle pony flesh with your fingers, eliciting a series of squawks and laughter. "HEE HEE HEE -- STOP IT, YOU RUFFIAN!" She managed to get the plea out before lapsing back into a series of uncontrollable giggles.

"Oh, what's the matter, Rarity? I thought you were enjoying this!"

"No-ha-ha-hot anymore!"

You laughed quietly as you kept working away at the marshmallowy -- and, more important to you, crazily-ticklish -- frogs of her hooves. "Round and round my fingers go," you chanted quietly in a sing-song manner.

"WAHAHAHAHA STOP ANO-HA-HAHN!"

"When they'll stop? Nobody knows!" Just like Luna, the best part about tickling Rarity was the idiosyncrasy of it. Who could expect such a reserved, fanciful mare to break down in hysterics at something like this?

Rarity was bucking less and less, and her laughter had assumed a breathless quality. "Ple-hease. Ple-he-he-hease no more, Tom!" She was reaching the exhaustion point, at which point it was no longer fun for either party. It was time to make a clean break. You ceased tickling, shifting your grasping hand back to its cradling position and working the thumb into the 'sole' of her hoof. The other hand joined its brother in massaging rather than tickling.

Rarity at first began jerking away, but stopped when she realized you weren't tickling her anymore. She looked at you with tears in your eyes, grin still stretched unbidden across her face. "That was not very gentlemanly of you, Tom!" she said bitterly, face turning to face the wall as her lip splayed out in another pout.

"I'm sorry, Rarity," you said sheepishly as you continued attempting to give her a hoof massage that's as un-ticklish as possible. "I was just trying to brighten up your day a bit..."

"Be that as it may," she sniffed. You stopped rubbing her hooves, and they actually seem to move toward you unconsciously a bit, as if attempting to regain your attention. She looked at you again.

"Do you want me to... I can stop this, too, if you want..."

She opened her mouth, refusal clear on her mind, but she snapped it shut in consideration. Her angry expression shifted to a -- dear god, was she really looking at you SULTRILY? "Oh, no need to stop, Tom, so long as you don't tickle me again..."

"Fair enough."

As a reminder of your recent victory, you ran a thumbnail against the squishy instep of the hoof. She yelped, looking up at you angrily. "Sorry," you said, "finger slipped."

She glared at you for a moment more, then laughed and flopped back onto the couch. "Tom, you're so DARING!" You were far too glad of the newfound closeness with this unicorn to further test her reaction to being tickled. But that was all right, because there was plenty of happiness to go around for both parties from something as simple as a hoof massage.

The night wound down, and it was clear nothing productive would come of the evening, but that was all right. Rarity was happy, and that was what counted. The two of you sat in a human-pony huddle on the couch, a blanket wrapped around you – Rarity even made tea. You attempted to discuss, at length, her plans for your future clothing style, but you resigned yourselves to the fact that productivity went firmly down the drain this evening. So be it.

With a start, Rarity suddenly pointed at the clock. "Oh, Tom! Look at the time!"

You literally looked at the clock for a few seconds, staring at it. "...and?"

"The train back to Canterlot leaves soon! I imagine you'll want to return tonight, yes?" As bizarre as it was, you were kind of hurt. You had thought you'd be able to crash here. Not as, like, a sleeping-together thing – ugh, nothing like that – just a place to sleep. But Rarity seemed to have anticipated this, or maybe just read your expression. "Tom, I'd offer you a place to stay, at least for the night, but my sister might be a bit... unwelcoming..." Sister? "Nothing against you, darling! But tonight is just not that good of a night..."

"Oh, I understand, Rarity," you said dismissively. "Really," waving off her protests, "I don't hold it against you. I'm not trying to impose!"

"It's good of you to understand," she said with a smile that she couldn't keep from faltering a bit. "Maybe I'll introduce you to Sweetie Belle the next time you visit?"

"I'd like that."

"And... you will visit again... soon, right?" The smile slowly drifted towards an expression of... anxiety, if you had to choose a word. Was she really this worked up that she might not see you again? But... oh god, commitment. You were terrified of commitment.

"I... yes, soon. I'll let you know." What the hell were you saying?

Rarity lit up, though. "Really? Oh, Tom, that's wonderful news. And of course, we will need to discuss that wardrobe at SOME point..." You both laughed at the reminder of the totally-forgotten subject.

"Well," you said, shrugging, "I'll be off..."

"Of course," she responded with a sigh, looking to the side. You looked at her for a moment, then found yourself with an uncontrollable urge to hug her. And so you did (FRIENDSHIP MODE!) "Oh, Tom, you humans are so sentimental!" she said into your shoulder.

You chuckled nervously. "Yeah, heh, right. Well... here I go!"

"Mmmm-mmmm..." She hummed an assent, and with an awkward kick at the ground you turn and began walking towards the train station. You turned to wave to her. You were almost surprised to see that she was, in fact, staring after you almost wistfully. She seemed taken aback by your wave, but responded with gusto. Feeling a new sense of self-assurance, you continued walking.

Now you had a new goal in your time here in Equestria: Tickle every goddamned mare in the world.

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Rarity watched her odd new friend walk away in that odd bipedal gait he had. The afternoon had turned out... VERY different from how she expected. To be certain, she had certainly anticipated the human being 'physical', but the extent to which he had been... she shivered and a breathless chortle went through her as she recalled the exhilaration of having her hooves pampered and tortured in series as they had been. It had been so... electrifying!

Humming happily, Rarity stepped back into the boutique, attempting once more to sort the shop out. A quiet clopping from the stairs told her that Sweetie had finally finished whatever project she had been invested in before.

"Rarity, what was all that... laughing?" the young filly asked in confusion.

"Oh, nothing," Rarity replied dismissively, unable to keep a mischievous grin from her face.

Comments

[Ephedianroyalty]

WE FRIENDSHIP NOW!!
Oh my god no lollollmaolollmao and he’s not even tickling me why!?!?!