• Member Since 9th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

MajorFrostwing


Just want to write some good stories

T

Frostwing ex-military a simple repairman that catches a trespasser. When it turns out to be the beautiful Rainbow Dash he fixes her gear for free. But when Frostwing challenges her to an Altitude climb. Rainbow makes a fatal mistake and Frostwing makes a sacrifice to save her. She finds out his ulterior motives and hates him. Can he make a simple repair to their relationship or will it break under the stress.

Chapters (17)
Comments ( 10 )

The grammar mistakes in the description alone turns me away from the story before I even get to the story

3890089

I might not be the best writer. But I do what I can with what I got

3890242
try nabbing yourself a proof-reader, there are a couple groups on this site that are just there for writers to find proof-readers.

I would offer to do it myself but I'm both bust and horrible at it

I would like to offer my services as an editor and proofreader also take into consideration the fact that you need like what 70 commas minimum in the first chapter alone. Should you need help at all feel free to message me!
Ps: can you get somone to help me post mlp emoticons? I'm new so I could use the help!

Oppsies on my last comment! I missed a comma there myself!

I liked it. Although there was some punctuation errors.

ugh this poor OC just walk away man, he doesn't owe anyone an explanation stop jabberin on and just go! Interesting story even if it makes little sense at times and the OC is cringe-worthy will finish later.

4459832

Some irony for all of you. The last few chapters were supposed to go in a completely different direction but I decided to redo all of those chapters. I like it better now. Also because the question will be asked. There will be a sequel.:raritywink:

Good story could use some work here and there but overall pretty good

*claps hands* nice ending. I wish everyone figured out the truth though.

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