• Member Since 31st Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jul 19th, 2012

TheSharp0ne


Heyo! TheSharp0ne here. I was told I should put my story on FIMFic, so here I am.

E

Old Ponytale tells of two royal Pony Sisters, the younger of which grew jealous of her sister's day, and one night refused to lower the moon. It tells that the eldest used the Elements of Harmony to banish the monster her sister had become. But the tale does not tell of the destruction that rained upon Equestria, and the actions of one brave pony during that perilous time.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 7 )

Interesting and enjoyable introduction. I also only saw a couple of typoes so well done.:twilightblush:
I'm looking forward to seeing how things develop in the next chapter.:pinkiesmile:

348238 If you'd care to point out the typos it'd be much appreciated. I kinda wrote this over Spring Break when I had no internet, so I kinda went and did all the editing myself. No surprise I missed a few.

"My house LIED in the shadow of several large oaks..." Should be LAY.
"Between them LIE a vase..." Once again should be LAY.
"I readied my sleeping area and LIED down." I think you know what to do by now.:raritywink:
"I quickly CASTED a small light spell..." Should be CAST.
"Ending just I rounded the..." Should have an as between just and I.
" I RECASTED my light spell..." Should be RECAST.
"I LIED there, sipping my tea..." :ajbemused:
And that's all!:pinkiehappy:

351723 Lie, lay, laid, I always fuck up on those. I just go with one and hope I'm right most of the time, considering I never find something that explains it. Plus, with my dialect (I'm from southern USA) I always pronounce it lie not lay, so I guess the language barrier there and whatnot.

354273:rainbowlaugh: Hey I'm from Texas, but I guess my grammar Nazi tendencies saved me.

355454 I'm from Texas too! :D

But I have a relatively heavy accent, so I get that whole "toe-may-toe" vs. "toe-mah-toe" thing.

356637 :rainbowlaugh: Well keep up the writing and I'll continue to comment as I see fit. Good luck.:pinkiehappy:

Login or register to comment