It took weeks for Rainbow Dash to finagle a date with Big Macintosh. But there's something that she couldn't shake when he was around. Why does he always act so distant? As she'll come to find out, he may have a good reason.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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4153872
Good to hear. I guess you didn't read the whole description, because the contest this is entered in kinda gives his secret away. But since it's still a surprise, hopefully you'll like it… I hope.
Also thanks about the dialogue and characters. I wasn't sure if I was doing a good job or not.
4155485
The fact that you read all my stuff is truly awesome. Your opinion means a whole lot.
Dude, you're an awesome writer! Don't sell yourself short!
Plus you've written this ship so well! It's a friggin awesome read!
My official guess: Mac is a mare, or transgendered in some way. That's what Dash was smelling, Mac's arousal.
I am really, REALLY digging this story. Yeah, I came for the promise of MacDash clop, but now it's just the emotions and the sweetness that have me drawn in. I did note a few errors:
Dashie Sudden Accent, go!
I also saw a missing end quote, but dammit, I forgot where.
Keep this up, dude!
Great chapter! Whatever Mac's secret I feel that it's going to be very funny! Can't wait to see more and great update times!
4158262
Once you start with the Ah's, there's no stopping.
4158270
Funny…. serious….. you missed the description and I hope the contest this was entered into doesn't scare you off…. Although I guess the reason I wrote this was to try to prove that a story could be made realistic no matter what kinds of things were involved.
4158328 Jake and I were actually just talking about that. Truth of the matter is I don't know how to read so ya.
4158333
Hopefully you're staying…? I mean, I can't keep you here if you don't want to be, but it'd be nice if you did…
4158357 I'm staying lol. I love the story too much not to stay!
4158359
Awesome!
Good Job thus far. Keep up the good work!
I like how you have crafted their pairing up. While they have very differing personalities, it makes sense that they would agree on things like sneaking out of the fancy restaurant. It really makes their relationship seem plausible. I will be looking forward to seeing where things go from here.
Your dialogue could do with a bit of work in places, sometimes I have to doublecheck to confirm which person is talking, and there's a couple of places it just feels a little clunky... My advice there would be to read it back to yourself, out loud if you have to. It'll help you find the bits that don't flow.
Okay, complaints aside, I love the way you portray Dash and Mac. I think you nail them perfectly, and the image of Dash in a top hat really tickles me. You get a thumbs up from me, good Sir and I look forward to seeing more.
PONIES EATING MEAT?!?!
Oh well. Shrimp is delicious, so I guess it's okay.
It's 3:30am and I can't stop reading...and I have school in 4 hours