• Member Since 11th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen March 11th

Berry Punch


Yo yo yo, Berry to the P to the U to the N C H, representing the MLP, what up, biatch?!

T

My name is Sasha, I was found in the Metro tunnels by a man named Artyom, my father. I am unlike everyone else of the Metro, for I am not human... but a pony. I have saved the Metro many times against the threat of the mutants and bandits. But my normal flow of life has been disrupted lately... I have been having strange visions and dreams, and one sentence I keep hearing... "Come home, Twilight..."

A darker take on the "My Little Dashie" style of story, featuring the Metro 2033 universe, starring Artyom, Twilight and the rest of the main cast of MLP: FIM

A short, multi-chapter story to try get me back into the way of writing!

Edited by Xhoral1865

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 56 )

This looks interesting, in a way. A bit rushed, but it still peaks my curiosity.

5528471 Yeah, just playin' about ideas in my head and began writing this. It's good practice at least, even if it ends up being a flop.

Very interesting. If there's one thing I could point out, though - Sasha is actually a boy's name in Russia and most of Europe. In fact, there are a couple Sasha's in the Metro series, and all of them are male. Might want to rethink the name.

Great idea and a start. Don't give up and don't be afraid to write whatever you want.

5529491 Clearly you haven't read 'Metro 2034' I wouldn't of used the name Sasha, if I wasn't sure it was gender-neutral. Perhaps not as common for girls as it is for guys... but, yeah you get what I mean.

5530582 Sasha is actually used mostly for girls, though there are some boys with it. It sometimes means "Strong one" in the English language, but can also be "courageous one," or "proud one."

I like it, but it's a little rushed. Sasha has quite the shiner in the picture, though. You draw that yourself?

Another thing, if you decide to bring our good friend Khan, or even Polyanka Station into the mix? I would squee with joy.

5530720 Khan would be a very old man, at this point of time Artyom is 40 years old himself.

5530765
This makes me angry.
I read the summary and got shivers. And then read the last update and cried.
This is outright criminal.

5531027 Why did you put this in your KIA folder? I only released this yesterday. :rainbowderp:

5531061 It's reporting the chapter release dates strangely. Mea culpa.
I await a little more with bated breath before I begin reading.

5531081 Ah, probably cause this has been sitting in my un-submitted stories folder for a long time. Only began writing the other day!

*Added to reading list so haaaaaaaard*

Still feels quite a bit rushed, but I must admit I'm intrigued by this mix of things.

I think at least one chapter between that dream and the anomaly appearing would have been a good idea. Showing just what day to day is like for Sasha a bit better, and how she's treated in the metro. Things like that.

Still, I'm curious where this is going.

There's something about the story picture that i absolutely love, how often will there be updates?

5529491 maybe Artyum was confused with sashas gender?

5533030 Not likely, since he repeatedly calls her "my daughter".

5532233 Often enough I hope, there's really only going to be 4 more main chapters and an epilogue. I'm starting chapter 3 right now, at least.

Hm... I'm torn between giving Twi a Russian accent, as would be the logical consequence to being brought up around russian accents. Or to leave her to her original American accent...

I'm gonna go with the Russian, it just seems more logical (even if it is harder to maintain in pitch and tone and such in my mind's ear).

Nuclear Apocalypse huh? Have a Taco nice work hope you keep this story going :twilightsmile:

listen man I like your idea I really do, heck I love metro I beat all 4 (the first 2 then the remakes of those two) a dozen times each! and your rushing this man, every sentence every explanation is rushed, saving the whole metro? multiple times? heck Artyom did it twice and he's not loved all over for it nor even widely known for it. I have a dozen little nitpicks and idea floating around like how artyom is a ranger and you don't exactly retire from being a ranger and the like, your better off writing in a human OC and keeping it small at first 1-3 stations outside of hanza.

My Name Is Sasha

Sash is not a typical name for a girl in russia, you should have used something like : Masha or Sveta. But it's your story.

They were of him as a child, with his adoptive father, Alex,

I am pretty sure that the name of his adoptive father was Suhoy. but it's your story.

my-little-metro-2053

I calculated it, Artyom is now 40.

When do you update again?

5533030

“How are you, my daughter?”

:trixieshiftright:

5595373 http://metrovideogame.wikia.com/wiki/Sasha_%28Metro_2034%29

Sasha is an exclusive character of the Metro 2034 novel. She is the daughter of a banished station-master, and joined Hunter and Homer on their journey after the ex-Ranger saved her life.

I called her Sasha as a nod to the Metro 2034 book, even though my story isn't running with the canon of the books.

http://metrovideogame.wikia.com/wiki/Alex

Alex, also known as Sukhoi

5595421 I have the next chapter mostly done, but... I got Dying Light recently... so vidya games be in the way :3

5597693 Don't forget to let Twilight describe her eating habits, i mean. as a herbivore shecan only eat the mushrooms there

5598998 Oh! You just gave me an idea for a scene, thanks!!

5598998 um actually i think horses are omnivores thay just lack the tools needed for hunting so thay stick to green foods BUT thay CAN eat meat that part in fallout equestia with lil pip eating meat wasint bullshit natures weird

5609705 cant argue with the Fallout Equestria part cause never read it.

What you think?, can I call Artyom Artjom adn VDNkh WDNCh, if I am writing my own metro stuff?

5597686 Also, Heavy from TF2 calls his mini-gun Sasha and there are hints that he all but considers it female... Also the Scout's domination line: "How about I take Sasha out for a steak dinner tonight? How's that sound?". The Scout and Heavy are not stereotypical gay and all of TF2's characters are overly stereotyped.

just in my head.
my writing music.

Promising. I'll await more then, shall I?

6420223 Eventually. I'm focusing more on writing my novel at the moment! :pinkiesmile:

6420804 is there still something coming? Anything!?

6463970 Someday in the future, maybe.

All I wanted for Christmas was another chapter of this story.

6791110 Sorry, I'm not much into writing for fim anymore. Maybe one day I'll decide to start again, but I dunno. Sorry! :pinkiesad2:

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