• Member Since 14th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago


Nothing special here, move along, nothing to see, just ignore the lump under the sheet and the red stuff...


Those annoying Cutie Mark Crusaders have always been a pain in Diamond Tiara’s flank, but Rainbow Dash adopting Scootaloo as a little sister was the last straw. Now Diamond Tiara is off to the Ponyville Hospital to shop for a new little sister of her own, but she should be careful.

She may just get more than what she expected.

Editing assistance by Peter, Sind, Bad Horse and Seether00
Cover picture by the fabulous Muffinexplosion on Deviant Art.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 216 )

Author comments: I hope you enjoyed this as much as I liked writing it. I happen to think that deep down inside even the most cruel character is a spark of good, and it's the job of a writer to find that tiny spark and attempt to ignite a forest fire with it. Admittedly, DT is a challenge. :pinkiehappy:

P.S. She's also better than you. :pinkiehappy:

First chapter was published on Pie Day, 3/14 Inspired by Diamond Tiara Wants a Sister by Yukito. When I saw that story, my first reaction was, "That's silly. If DT wants a sister, she would go pick one out herself and have Daddy write the check." From there, the story fairly wrote itself.

Props courtesy of Barnyard Bargains and Cartiara’s Jewelry store

We would like to thank the Ponyville Hospital for their cooperation, and their new Birthing Center, available for your birthing experience 24/7. Now with new Natural Experience in Birthing rooms, featuring:
— Authentic hay-lined stalls
— All-natural ambience sound effects of crickets and rustling mice. (No actual mice used)
— Llamaze classes for prospective parents
— Lactation consultation
— The finest Level 3 neo-natal facility in the tri-county area

Looks interesting. Definitely gonna read this later.

i gusse this is the part where she grown up as a person

I'm surprised there's more to the story than this. Aside from a couple of dangling threads—which seem minor—and that last line, it already feels complete.

Oh, wow! This was beyond amazing. There has been a trend in the fandom to portray Diamond Tiara as a three dimensional character that I fully approve of. And the idea of Filthy Rich as a dedicated single father.

only quibble I would offer is the description 'milk spigot'. Mammary, nipple, teat, breast, anything other than spigot.

Overall fantastic story, I eagerly await the conclusion.

I'm calling it now: After the end of this story, Diamond Tiara and her mother are going to have a lot to talk about.

I'm really not your target audience, but I think you managed a few feels regardless. Good luck with the story. :twilightsmile:

4083520 What, DT experience character growth? Heaven forbid!
4083532 (evil chuckle)
4083572 I'm naturally shy. I grew up on a dairy farm and handled 'em for two decades, but I still have problems calling 'em what they are.
4083634 Her mother? Don't you remember -- Diamond Tiara scoffed. “I don't need a mommy. I have the best daddy in the world...
(Incidentally, you made me catch a typo there)

-marked incomplete-


I think I know where this is going...

I understand, but the term puts me in mind of a milking machine rather than a nursing mother.

Also, call me a romantic, but I am hoping for RosexRich, assuming the end point is not DT and her father growing closer from this experience.

This is quite a good point. I'm going to have to revise my theory accordingly:

Filthy Rich is actually a mare.

I love how Diamond Tiara waffles between being a halfway decent pony and being...well, Diamond Tiara.

...her little sister took that moment to distract her mother with a head-butt in the belly again...

That may be the best use of a vague pronoun reference I've ever seen.

Also, Tiara impressed me in a number of ways here. There's spoiled, there's sheltered, and there's making a complete nitwit of yourself without even realizing it. Ah, the innocence of youth. Ah, the irony of calling Diamond Tiara innocent. And yet, where this story's concerned, she is. Less so than the beginning of the chapter, but she is.

(Also, accessorizing doesn't seem that impressive, but from Tiara's analysis of Rose Trellis, it seems she can extend her know-how to others. Rarity may have an apprentice. Or a competitor...)

In any case, fantastically done. Eagerly looking forward to the conclusion.

3878874 hey, there's no rush for new chapters, don't be afraid to take another day or two. Also, in regards to this paragraph.

“Just a moment.” *The salespony walked away for a minute to discuss things in very low tones with the nurse, and after they both cast a great number of glances at *Diamond Tiara and her new baby sister, she came back.

You double space a lot, and you may want to work on your consistory of if this story is going to be told in third or first person.
Other than that, I can't wait to see where it goes.

I think somepony may have found her daughter... :ajsmug:

God, I love it when people write Diamond Tiara well. It's way too rare a thing.

This'll be good.

A man chooses, a slave obeys.

But seriously, very well written story. Everyone feels in character and naturally I feel aching for more, questions rising.

You're four editors missed out some things though, but it's a minor mistake that can easily be ignored without reducing the overall quality of the fic.

Aww. I think they'd make a happy family.:pinkiesad2:

4083722 To one more chapter? :pinkiehappy:
4084078 You'd be amazed at what the ability to determine just exactly what the perfect accessory can do for your life.
4084142 Um. Is there something wrong with that sentence? Because the last "she" obviously refers to the salespony. I suppose I could put it on a new line, but it makes "Just a moment." look naked.
4084210 Shh
4084583 You spelled your as you're, double spaced after 'out' and used the singular it's instead of the plural they're minor mistakes if you want to match it up with 'things,' but other than those minor mistakes, your comment is acceptable. If you find more mistakes, please mail them to me. :pinkiehappy:

I'm going to enjoy reading this.

>tfw never been 100% approved by Twilight's Library

Wow, spelling 'Your' as 'You're'.

I've honestly never thought that mistake could happen the other way around than the usual. Was so tired when I posted that comment.

please more, wouldn't it be cool if diamond tiara was roses missing foul :pinkiecrazy:

It's either a huge red herring or a setup for a longer story. You know what I'm talking about, but I'm game for some more.

Biggest thumbs up I can give is for Diamond Tiara's personality. She's like Pinkie Pie in that most people can't write her well and just play up her biggest traits to exaggerated levels. Keeping those traits intact but making her a real person not defined solely by them is a gift I wish more fanfic writers had. I eagerly await for more.

of course Diamond is Rose's first daughter.
why else would she suddenly go into full labor in Ponyville?
Sunbutt manipulating ponies lives to 'teach them about friendhsip'

Wow. That setup. This is going to be amazing.

Especially when all the characters realize that they're actually related. :pinkiehappy:

4085146 Really? You know, not everything is a Celestia plot. I would think that she's too busy running the country to use her abilities to trigger births at will.

Then again, maybe it's all a Celestia plot...

geez thank goodness that was the ending. I so wanted more after that! ><

Great story. I hope it leads toward where I hope it's implying it might.

I don't know. This story is nice and has some good Diamond Tiara in it, but I can't help but think that it is setting up for a sequence of implausible coincidences that are rarely found outside a Charles Dickens novel.

I could be wrong, obviously. But I'm hoping it's not going to end with an Oliver twist. (:facehoof: Appologies for a terrible pun)

This story... it's equal parts genuine heart-to-heart and Diamond Tiara being a b*yay*.

Consider me intrigued.

COlor me intrigued, I can't wait to see where you go with this

Excelent little story. I really liked it, I also liked how you wrote Diamond Tiara.

:pinkiehappy: So heart-melting. Lovely. I salute you, fellow writer!

I, I have no words. Literally pitch perfect execution. I had my suspicions in the last chapter, but getting there was oh so sweet.

Best line

I didn't take anything away from him but myself.

And this. This was an excellent story. EQD worthy, I'd say. I don't even have any words for it. It's great.


"It’s gotta be because of my special talent. It knows we’re perfect together..."
"You said your special talent was accessorizing."

This is probably the best theory for Diamond Tiara's special talent that I've ever seen. I absolutely love it. Just as another fic I read (I think it was Equestria's First Human, or one of it's sequels) gave Silver Spoon a talent in Silver Smithing, this fic has given me a new headcanon for Diamond Tiara.

You know what? Tht's how I'd describe this fic. It's given me new headcanon, and headcanon that I really like at that. Good on you, author!

Best explanation for DT's talent that I've seen, and also this made me cry like a baby. It was fantastic! :heart:

Best Diamond Tiara story ever.

So beautiful. Bravo!!!

4086386 Dude, spoiler alert! Yeesh.:facehoof:

Anyway, awesome. It's hard to write believable semi-nice DT, and you did awesomely.

expected a bit more drama... but well done nonetheless.

I found this to be such a beautiful story.

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