• Member Since 14th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen 19 minutes ago

Nebula Star


Digital artist, both 2d and 3d, and author by hobby. Living in San Diego California.

T

After over a thousand years suffering under the rule of Discord and Nightmare Moon, the defeat of the immortal tyrants was like a dream. A dream that soon became a greater nightmare; for Midnight Star was no savior, and they soon knew greater suffering than ever before.

Even when the Empress's mysterious death renews the dream of restoring Equestria to the paradise it had once been, it doesn't last long. A small dragoness appears with dire news: The world itself is dying.

This is a prequel to Midnight Star. Reading Midnight Star first is not required.

Chapters (14)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 42 )

If the changelings were to find some vagabonds or some survivors from destroyed colonies and protect them in their hidden hives, their problem would be solved.

Midnight names herself Empress... without even knowing what it means.:derpytongue2:

I love this story!
I am surprised it is not more well known...
As I was reading this I couldn't help wondering what they would think of Midnight's new look in the other story.
Also wouldn't it be ironic if Midnight was the element of magic?
I know she probably isn't, but it would be kind of funny.
Anyway...Love your work! And I eagerly await more!

4071288
Well thanks! And yea; Midnight's gone through some major changes in the other story line; and there's still more to come for her.

As far as After Midnight though; it would be rather sadly ironic if Midnight were the element of magic. But luckily for them; Midnight, while extremely powerful with magic, had a very weak connection to harmony magic since she was more attuned to chaos at the time. So the element of magic wouldn't have chosen her.

Now thats something I didn't expect. All that looking for rest of elements was part of that other story or still its actual ?

4072883
Lol, no, it is part of this story. After Midnight isn't even half done at this point.

4072920
Its just looked that they search for element to win against Midnight

4072927 Nope, the elements are needed for something else; something only Reshkirana really knows about at this point.

... that day or two is going to make a difference, isn't it?

4520225 Hm?

1st: That's gotta be Applejack...

2nd Origin Atlas's is Rarity's. Surprise's is obvious, and I think Chrysalis will take Magic if Kira doesn't (hey, watch the teeth!). Maybe Sonata is the new Loyalty? or one of the twins.

Still leaves honesty, though.

4522579
There were actually hints in The Frozen Empire pertaining to a couple of the elements. And you're right about Origin Atlas; he's generosity in this story.

why didn't the dragon's try

apostrophe is unnecessary here.

“Dragon's grow very slowly when

and here. Remember that the apostrophe is only used in this case when you're indicating possession (e.g. the dragon's scales) or a proper name, not when referring to a group or a species (e.g. dragons tend to hoard precious objects)\

In any case, welcome to Ponyville all of you.

Needs to be a comma after "Ponyville"

Kira smiled and nodded satisfied

Comma after "nodded"

answers at the party.

Missing an ending quotation.

also, PARTY TIME!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Time for the Dances of Power!

I'm use to it.”

used

she said though she was smiling

Think there should be a comma after "said"

laughed an tussled

and

get herself and Kira refreshment

"get herself and Kira some refreshment" looks better to me.

she corrected again smiling

I personally just don't like leaving this like that. Not sure if putting a comma before "smiling" is actually any better, though.

turned back toward her smiling once they

Here, though, a comma before "smiling" looks better.

She asked feeling slightly timid

Probably a comma after "asked"?

two very brave individuals. My dear friend

Colon instead of a period.

she said going over

Needs a comma, methinks.

Destiny asked confused

Also needs a comma after "asked"

Kira smiled understanding

Kira smiled in understanding.

saddle bags

Isn't this one word?

Just stick with Surprise. You act like they can't accept you <_<

This sounds like a sequel to something. Is it a sequel to something? If it is, then you should like to the previous story.

5286853
It's a prequel actually. There aren't any stories that take place before this one.

Interesting so far. Also, whats it with me and stumbling on stories where twilight sparkle is evil?

Also, is twilight a nightmare in this story, or is her evil through some other means? Midnight star is a great nightmare alias for her though.

5287375
Well that gets into the multiverse side of my first story Midnight Star. This is a kind of Prequel / side story, actually quite separate from the main series. Basically Midnight Star is this world's version of Twilight, but she's always been Midnight Star, it's her real name. My idea is that the more different the timelines are in the different worlds, the more different the versions of each character will be.

5303071
The listed sequel was the original Midnight Star, the first fic I posted, and tells the story of what happened to Midnight after she 'died' in this story. This one is being written as a prequel / side story.

There had to be a cliffhanger.

Nodding he stepped forward heading toward where the rubble ran right up to the cliff-side. From here, dig strait into the cliff, and about thirty degrees down and you should hit it.

Missing quotations starting from "from here"

And there's always a cliffhanger.

“Here that, they're still alive,”

Hear that

to save them; to get them back

Comma instead of a semicolon. It's like saying "To protect, secure, and maintain".

If it attacks again; I'll do what

Comma instead of a semicolon; this time it's just the wrong punctuation. Semicolon's aren't used to separate incomplete and complete sentences (in the sense of having the standard subject-verb-DO stuff that would prevent it from being recognized as a fragment).

his horn still glowing.”

Extra quote.

Then let's go, Atlas, you're

First comma should be a period.

magic within it; so she

Comma instead of a period. The 2nd semicolon is okay, but IMO a period would be better.

shadow to attack them from possibly only one if

Needs a comma between "from" and "possibly"

Split up ahead; left or right

Period would be preferred.

were use to galloping

used to.

It's appearance so quick

Adding "was" here isn't necessary, but as far as word flow goes it'd probably be better to add it. Or change it to "it appeared so quickly Kira..."

you're after; so allow me to

First semi was fine. This one needs to be a period.

of the heart; relieve the pressure!

Comma instead of semicolon.

she repeated and with that last warning, she flowed into the

Put that comma over between "repeated" and "and".

Guessing however, I'd say it was at least a couple hours, it's likely after dark

I'd rephrase to this: "If I had to guess, I'd say it was at least a couple hours. It's likely after dark,"

the tunnel slowly brightened

Given the comma that immediately precedes this bit, "slowly brightening the tunnel" is a better way to put it since it fits with what comes before the comma'd part.

Also, in "as the drew", "they".

despite the late hour, stopped whatever

Unnecessary comma.

Ponies emerged from their homes, feeling something in the air and joined the rest

Feeling something in the air, ponies emerged from their homes and joined the rest

flooded out into the world,

Period, not comma.

*snort* silly heroic sacrificers.

Too young for a cutie mark? (assuming she can get one)

And I'm guessing that Kira's descendants are going to be compatible with ponies. Have you thought about how the hybrids will work as far as physical appearances (like what Kira thought about)?

5757371
At this point Firebloom is about 9 years old and I usually put the cmc around 10-12 in the show so Firebloom is about the right age perhaps a little young. Haven't actually decided if I would have Kira's descendants have cutie marks or not though, she doesn't have one herself. As for the their being hybrids, my idea is that they would always be hybrids as Kira thought and just vary in how much they are pony or dragon. Perhaps I'll have it so that whether or not they get cutie marks will vary as well, in which case Firebloom would probably get one, but her little brother that was mentioned probably wouldn't.

I see you like Hitchcock's idea of suspense, first a bomb goes off and then the suspense rises.

Nice start. Might read the Midnight Start stories later, though what brought me to this one was Chryssie.

Also, a hoard, not a horde.

Cya
Raziel-chan

Poor Evening Star. :fluttercry:

Alternate Twilight is an arsehole.

Cya
Raziel-chan

Aww, I like Surprise even more now. :pinkiehappy:

Though I always liked the idea of a pegasus Pinkie Pie.

That ending. :rainbowlaugh:

Yay Chryssie!

Cya
Raziel-chan

6833481
Lol, horde, oops... Too much Warcraft...

No, Sallis, Surprise! :raritycry:

Cya
Raziel-chan

... Other passengers kept looking at me funny when I kept wiping my eyes on the tram. Poor Sallis... She didn't deserve it.

Ding dong the witch is dead! At least in this verse.

Now I wonder who'll be the remaining elements.

Cya
Raziel-chan

Wooo, another element.

... Shadow demon? They can't catch a break, can they?

Cya
Raziel-chan

Oooh, so Sallis was the element of loyalty, makes sense.

Cya
Raziel-chan

Dance dance magic revolution!

Cya
Raziel-chan

“SON OF A...” Kira let out a frustrated roar that echoed across the valley.

:rainbowlaugh:

And the elements are there! Kinda going Sallis might appear for a moment one they've been used.

Cya
Raziel-chan

:facehoof: Kira, stop keep things secret.

Cya
Raziel-chan

Poor Cutelings. :fluttercry:

Cya
Raziel-chan

That shadow is what remained of Luna/Nightmare Moon, isn't it?

Cya
Raziel-chan

I suppose it became... Crystal clear that they did it! :pinkiehappy:

Cya
Raziel-chan

Nice ending. I like it when Chryssie gets a good end.

Though, did the remnants of Luna disappear, or is she still in the caves underneath old Canterlot?

Cya
Raziel-chan

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!