Hey Mum! Look At Me!
“Muuuuum! I can’t find my scooter!” Scootaloo shouted as she ran down the stairs of her home, rounding the corner and into the parlour where she found her mother sitting on the couch and watching the TV.
“It was filthy, so I asked you father to wash it,” Diamond Tiara said, not looking away from the TV screen. “Ask her where she put it.”
“Oka- Hey, what’s goin’ on?” Scootaloo asked, noticing that the couch was also occupied by two small creatures of terror and despair known simply as ‘babies’. It was at this point that her mother watching ‘Teletubbies’ made more sense.
“I’m sitting for the Cakes’ twins whilst they’re out of town,” Diamond explained, reaching down to Pumpkin Cake to remove the stuffed toy in her mouth and replacing it with a pacifier. “We need the extra money, since the market crashed last week.”
“The lemonade stand?” Scootaloo asked. “What happened?”
“Like I said, it crashed,” Diamond responded. “Into the ground, after your father and I tried to move it.”
“Oh… So, uh, where’s Dad?”
“Probably outside fixing up the market stand,” Diamond told her.
“Okay, tha- Hey!” Scootaloo shouted as she noticed something that didn’t agree with her. Her Rainbow Dash plush toy in Pound Cake’s forelegs. “That’s mine!”
“He seems to like it, so I let him play with it,” Diamond Tiara said.
“B-But-”
“You have lots more in your room, right?”
“Well, yeah, but…” ‘That one’s my favourite…’
“Weren’t you going to ask your dad about your scooter?” Diamond asked.
Scootaloo grumbled and turned around. “Yeah, yeah,” she muttered as she walked away. She made her way through the large mansion and found her father outside in the back garden, working hard on her lemonade stand. “Dad, have you seen my-”
“One sec,” Apple Bloom said as picked up a hammer and smacked it multiple times against a plank of wood. After five hits, somehow a sparkling signpost had been created. “Phew! Sometimes ah amaze even mahself. Now, what was it ya wanted, Sport?”
“Have you seen my- Don’t call me that. Have you seen my scooter?”
“Oh.” Apple Bloom turned to Scootaloo with a guilty look on her face. “Well, ya see, ah had ta loan it fer a few days ta buy materials for our stand.”
“You what?!”
“It’s only until Saturday!” Apple Bloom said. “Ah just needed ta get this stand up an’ runnin’ as soon as possible!”
“But- That- I-”
“Ah’m sorry, Scoots, but ah’m mighty busy right now. Ah’ll make it up ta ya later, but fer now ah need ta work.”
Scootaloo’s cheeks puffed out as she glared at her father in burning anger. “… MUUUUUUM!” she cried as she charged back into her house, making her way back to the parlour where her mother still sat. “MUM! DAD-” Her shouting was cut off by the two twins suddenly crying in unison.
“Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara scolded as she jumped off of the couch and picked up one of the twins, cradling it in her forelegs. “Don’t shout around the babies! I had literally just got them to sleep!”
“B-But Dad-”
“UGH! I can’t handle both at once! I need to get their bottles.” Diamond put the baby down and walked towards the bag sitting in front of the TV, reaching into it and pulling out two bottles.
“Mum, Dad loaned my scooter without asking me-”
“Scootaloo, sweetie, I don’t have time for that right now!”
“But-”
Diamond Tiara ignored her daughter as she rushed the bottles to twins, both of which rejected their milk and continued wailing as loud as they could. “Scootaloo, please! Save it for later!”
Scootaloo groaned and stomped away, heading upstairs to her room.
“It’s been like that for three days now!” Scootaloo shouted as she stomped a forehoof onto the carpeted floor beneath her. “Mum and Dad just don’t pay any attention o me anymore! They’re either ‘too busy’ or ‘too tired’.”
“It does sound like they have a lot on their plates,” Sweetie Belle said.
“But they’re my parents! They’re supposed to be there for me, but all they ever do lately is ignore me and tell me to leave them alone!”
“Aren’t you overreacting?” Silver Spoon asked.
“No, I’m not! I remember when they first adopted me they would help me with my homework every night and take baths with me, but now they just keep telling me to ask the other and don’t even tell me to bathe!”
“I could tell,” Sweetie Belle said, bringing a hoof to her nose. “And you used to bathe together? All three of you?”
“Used to. Now they just don’t care about me anymore…” Scootaloo slumped down to the floor and planted her face into the carpet, mumbling something unintelligible.
“There, there,” Sweetie Belle said as she patted Scootaloo’s back. “I’m sure they still love you.”
“They so don’t.”
“They do.”
“Don’t.”
“Do!”
“Don’t!”
“DO!”
“They-”
“Enough, you two!” Silver Spoon shouted, separating the two arguing fillies. “It seems to me that there’s only one sure way to find out whether or not your parents still love you.”
“Strap a bomb to her and tell them the only way to deactivate it is to drink poison?” Sweetie Belle guessed, earning a horrified look from Silver Spoon. “What?”
“N-No! … Okay, yes, but I was thinking just simply sending a note from Scootaloo saying that she ran away.”
“… That could work, too,” Sweetie Belle agreed. “I like that less lives are endangered with that one.”
“Okay Scootaloo,” Silver Spoon said, giving the filly some paper and a box of crayons. “Get writing.”
“What should I write?” Scootaloo asked as she picked up a yellow crayon.
“Just say that you’ve run away and tell them where to,” Silver Spoon said.
“And don’t use the blue crayons!” Sweetie Belle added. “I’m running out of them…”
Scootaloo scribbled for several minutes, going over her message many times before it was finally complete. The completed message had spanned two pages, but that was mostly because…
“Good Celestia, your hoofwriting is terrible!” Silver Spoon said. “Is it even legible?”
Scootaloo simply frowned in response. “Just send it to them already!”
“Alright, alright. Sweetie Belle, deliver these to the Richs’ manor for me, will you?”
“Yes, ma’am!” Sweetie Belle saluted and grabbed the papers, storming out of her room at lightning-speed.
“… And now we play the waiting game,” Silver Spoon said.
Five hours later:
“After much careful consideration, the Great and Powerful Trixie has decided to live here.” Twilight clapped her hooves and smiled at the good news she had received.
“That’s great! You’re gonna love it here in Ponyville!”
“Yes, well, the ponies are most certainly crazy, but Trixie is confident that she can handle it.”
“Twilight!” The two mares turned towards the two fillies, Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara, that were calling out to Twilight. “It’s terrible!” Apple Bloom shouted. “Ya have ta help us!”
“What is it?” Twilight asked.
“Our daughter!” Diamond Tiara cried. “We can’t find her anywhere!”
“Your ‘daughter’?” Trixie asked with a raised eyebrow.
“How could ah have let this happen?!” Apple Bloom shouted. “Ah’m the worst father ever!”
“… ‘Father’? Are you two playing house or something?”
“How dare you?!” Diamond Tiara shouted. “Scootaloo is our real adopted daughter! We even have the paperwork to prove it!”
To Trixie’s surprise, she found Twilight nodding in confirmation. “And, uh… they are married, too…”
“Pleae, ya have ta help! She could be out there alone an’ scared!” Apple Bloom pleaded.
Twilight paused for a second. “Uh, I don’t… know where she went… but if I find anything, I’ll let you know?”
“Oh, Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara cried as she ran past the library.
“Honey, wait up!” Apple Bloom called out as she gave chase.
Twilight’s eyes followed after the two fillies, before settling on Trixie giving her a deadpan look. She simply smiled and gave a squee.”
“Aaaaand I’m gone,” Trixie declared as she turned and left.
“NOOOOOO!” Twilight cried as she latched onto Trixie’s leg, resulting in her being dragged through Ponyville with strange looks being pointed their way.
“Oooh! Where could she be?!” Apple Bloom asked she ran through the streets of Ponyville alongside Diamond Tiara. “What if she’s lost? Or scared? Or lost and scared? What if she’s in some weird parallel world where there are no apples?!”
Diamond Tiara gasped and came to a sudden stop. “Or what if she was foalnapped?!”
“Foalnapped?!” Apple Bloom asked as she stopped, too.
“There!” Diamond pointed down the street towards a colt – Rumble, to be precise – riding by on a very familiar-looking scooter. “HEY! RUMBLE!”
“Diamond, wait-”
Rumble stopped and turned to face Diamond Tiara. “Oh, hey there, Diamond-” Rumble was tackled to the ground by the angry filly and the scooter was sent flying across the street. “O-Ow! What gives?!”
“Where is she?!” Diamond Tiara demanded. “What have you done with my little girl?!”
“Y-Your what?” Rumble asked.
“Don’t play dumb with me! That’s Scootaloo’s scooter, isn’t it?! What have you done, sold her to a foreign nation or something?!”
“Diamond, no!” Apple Bloom shouted as she ran up to her wife’s side. “That’s not it! Ah loaned him Scootaloo’s scooter so ah could afford new materials for our stand!”
“… Oh…” Diamond climbed off of Rumble and helped him to his hooves. “You’re free to go, then.”
“Uh…”
“I said you’re free to go!” Diamond snapped, snapping Rumble out of his daze and causing him to make a hasty retreat.
Apple Bloom picked up the scooter that had been left behind. “Well, ah guess we might as well take this back a lil’ early.”
“Oh, my dear daughter! Wherever could you be?!”
Apple Bloom wrapped a hoof around Diamond Tiara and gave her a gently hug. “Don’t cry, Diamond. We’ll find her.”
“I’m not crying!” Diamond protested as she buried her face into Apple Bloom’s shoulder, whilst her husband simply patted her on the back.
Time continued to tick on in Sweetie Belle’s bedroom, the three fillies sitting in silence together as Scootaloo’s cheer slowly drained from her being with each second that passed.
“Where are they?” Sweetie Belle whispered to Silver Spoon.
“How should I know?!” Silver Spoon whispered back.
“It’s official,” Scootaloo said. “Mum and Dad don’t love me anymore.”
“Of course they do!” Sweetie Belle assured her. “I’m sure they’re on their way! Maybe they just… went to the toy store to buy you a present?”
Scootaloo scoffed and turned her back to her friend. Silver Spoon leaned closer to Sweetie Belle and whispered, “Hey, you did give them the papers, right?”
Sweetie Belle narrowed her eyes. “Of course I did!” she whispered back. “… Wait, ‘papers’? There was only one when I pushed it through their door.”
Silver Spoon slammed a hoof into her face. “Sweetie Belle!” she hissed in a hushed tone. “That second page had the location on it! No wonder they aren’t here yet!”
“… Oops,” Sweetie Belle said with a sheepish grin.
“You… You…”
Sweetie Belle rushed to a nearby chest and reached inside. Pulling out a headband with cat ears and putting it on, Sweetie Belle turned to Silver Spoon with a smile.
“No! You can’t get off just like that this time!”
Sweetie Belle frowned and then crawled closer to Silver Spoon, stopping next to the filly and rolling onto her back. “Nyaaaaa?”
“… Ugh. Fine, all is forgiven,” Silver Spoon grumbled as she brought a hoof to Sweetie Belle’s stomach and began scratching. “Still, how are we going to fix this?”
Suddenly, a bulb shone in Sweetie Belle’s mind. “Oh! I know!” She jumped to her hooves and ran over to her bed. She reached underneath and pulled out two items: a small, wooden box and a flashlight. Climbing onto her bed, Sweetie Belle put the box down on her windowsill and shone the light at it.
Silver Spoon walked over, curious as to what Sweetie Belle was doing. She was caught off guard by the large spotlight shining in the sky outside, reading ‘CMC’.
“It’s the Crusader Signal!” Sweetie Belle declared. “Just one look at this and Apple Bloom’s base Crusader instincts will do the rest!”
“‘Base Crusader instincts’?”
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER APPLE BLOOM, PRESENT!” a voice shouted outside of Sweetie Belle’s window.
“Right on time,” Sweetie Belle said with a smug grin.
“Dad?!” Scootaloo rushed to Sweetie Belle’s bed and pushed the window open. Outside, she saw her father standing at attention, alongside her mother, who looked like she had just ran a marathon, what with her mane and coat in complete disarray and her panting for air. “MUM! DAD!”
“Scootaloo?!” Apple Bloom shouted in surprise upon seeing her daughter. “Oh, Scootaloo! Thank Celestia we’ve found ya!”
“Scootaloo Maria Rich!” Diamond Tiara shouted, her breathing now steady. “You get down here this instant! Your father and I have been worried sick!”
“‘Maria’?” Sweetie Belle asked Silver Spoon, who simply shrugged in response.
Scootaloo scowled and turned around. “No! You guys don’t even care about me, anyway!”
“What are ya sayin’?! O’course we care about ya!” Apple Bloom shouted back. “Please, your mother an’ ah just want ya ta be safe an’ happy!” Scootaloo gave no response, neither physical nor verbal. “Please, Scoots. Ah promise we ain’t mad at you. Jus’ tell us what’s wrong.”
“… You two don’t love me anymore,” Scootaloo said. “You never pay any attention to me or listen to what I say!”
“But Scoots, we’ve been super busy lately,” Apple Bloom explained. “We’ve been tryin’ ta make ends meet so we can supply for ya. Get ya all the things ya like an’ save up money for yer schoolin’.”
“But I don’t need lots of toys or a fancy education! I just want us to be a family again…”
“… I’m sorry.” Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Silver Spoon and Apple Bloom were all surprised by the one who had said that. “You’re right,” Diamond said, “We haven’t been paying any attention to you recently. We should have listened to you, noticed that you were upset. But we can change! Please, just give us one more chance. Things will be different this time, I swear…”
Scootaloo finally turned around again to face her parents. “Mum…” Just as there were tears running down Diamond Tiara’s face, Scootaloo felt a teardrop roll down her own. She also felt a hoof on her shoulder and turned to find Sweetie Belle.
“Go to them,” she said with a smile, giving a reassuring nod.
Scootaloo smiled and nodded back, running past Sweetie Belle and downstairs. She pushed the front door open and ran to her awaiting parents, into her mother’s embrace. Her father joined the group hug, making the family complete once more.
“I’m sorry,” Scootaloo said. “I didn’t wanna make you worry, I just wanted you to love me again.”
“We never stopped loving you,” Diamond Tiara assured her. “And we’re the ones who are sorry. From now on, we’ll focus less on money and more on each other.”
“Oh, speakin’ o’ which, ah got yer scooter back,” Apple Bloom said, parting from the hug and pointing to the scooter behind her.
“Awesome!” Scootaloo shouted as she hugged her father once more. “Thanks, dad!”
“Heh. No problem, Sport,” Apple Bloom said as she patted her daughter’s head. She then lifted the scooter onto her back. “It’s gettin’ late. Maybe we should be headin’ on home now.”
Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara nodded in agreement, and the three began to walk down the street together, Scootaloo in the middle and which each forehoof connected to her parents’.
“Hey, can we go out to eat tomorrow?” Scootaloo asked. “Like, as a family again?”
Apple Bloom bit her lip. “Uh, ah got a meetin’ with the colts who run the orange juice stand ‘bout joinin’ our two business together…” Apple Bloom noticed the fierce glare from her wife and flinched. “B-But ah can take a rain check,” she quickly added with a nervous smile.
Scootaloo cheered and pulled her two parents closer to her as they continued to walk. One big happy family.
If you're confused and frightened by what you have just read, why not try the original story that set this universe in motion, located right here: How to be a Mother (not to be confused with How I Met Your Mother) 
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Hooray! I love how everyone plays it straight.
Except Trixie.
We require more of this universe.
God, I love this story! Needs some editing though. Removing this from non-canon and putting it in Canon-verse, it deserves that much.
Words fail me.
Scootaloo is the biggest sweetheart ever. She misses all the pampering! xD (I can totally see Scoots getting shampoo in her eye and DT babying her. lol)
Twilight was SO close. So very close. Better luck next time!
Great episode Yuki. Great episode. I look forward to more someday. MOAR PLEASE!
3876748
AB and DT are the bigget horn-blocks in the world :P
3876517
Trixie is the straight mare of this fic :P She's been to Los Pegasus, and even that doesn't compete with what she sees in Ponyville.
hmm this inspires me to write something like this
You pay my medical bill. I have type 21 Diabeetus thanks to this.
Sounds interesting; will read later.
Twilight wanted Trixie to become Spike's dad?
Silver Belle should happen next fic.
Sweetie Belle is a cat!
Great story concept. And also, I've never heard of this 'verse. It requires my immediate investigation.
3876873
No. No! NO! No!
Yukito, why? 
3881258 what
3879623 Your profile pic makes it look like you'd say something like that.
3883376 Eeyup, glad I drew it.
W-wait I read this for a bit and then I realized you said APPLEBLOOM was the father? but she's a girl....
3886903
In this universe Diamond Tiara considers her coltish enough to call her the "father".
I know about Mattricole's story and I am still confused and frightened.
Before I continue reading the part about the Lemonade stand was hilarious. I've studied Business Management and Economics. That's quite a literal joke if you think from that point of view, even if slight unrelated. Just well done, made my day
Okay... the hell did I just read, again?!
Please
____________________________
Am I the only one that wants to see these stories on a much more serious note? Cause I actually wanna see this story taken more seriously.
They had me holding my sides most of the way through. The ending was rather touching and I loved it. 
With that said, I love these stories!
I'm so barking confused. Woof.
Kinkyyy
I'd love it if Scootaloo's middle name was actually revealed to be Maria!
Let's see... Possible one sided twixie (Or just Twilight being Obsessive about Friendship), Sweetie cat (What?) and the continuation of madness.
Quite amusing.
3980925
I did