• Published 1st Mar 2014
  • 3,983 Views, 80 Comments

Memories of the Forgotten - NonDescript

After being exiled from all of Equestria for a crime of conscience, and with all memory of her erased, Twilight attempts to force herself back into the public eye, and expose the truth about Celestia's noble goals...

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Chapter 5

I was getting nowhere.

Despite the distance I had managed to cover, I was still stuck with what my next course of action should be. In fact, the entire time I had been out here, not once have I found something to work towards. I've got information, I've managed to keep myself alive, and I know I need to get back to Equestria. But beyond that, nothing.

And yet I kept moving forward, in some attempt to feel I was making progress. Walking isn't nothing. Therefore I'm doing something.

I kept thinking about Discord. Something refuses to sit right with me. I must be missing something big, because despite every possible angle I've tried, nothing seems to line up. If only five elements are needed to lock Discord away, then where does the element of magic sit? The element of magic brings all the elements together. It's the thing that binds them all.

Magic is what makes it all complete.

So either the five elements on their own have enough power without Magic to seal Discord away, which means their power has been grossly underestimated... Or, the power used to put Discord away in stone had to come from something, or somepony else.

So if I assume the elements weren't involved, then I'm left with where could that power have come from. Who might have the power or influence to rival the elements? Surely not Celestia... Right? She fell to the Queen of the Changelings power at my brothers wedding. But it's also just as possible she was holding back.

While I wouldn't normally be so quick to distrust Celestia, all things considered, I wouldn't put it past her to hide her true power, for some sort of advantage. Although, that would require Celestia to know that things would turn out right in the end.

Ugh, I had been thinking so long, I didn't realize the sun was setting. So soon? I don't feel as though I've made much progress today. I might just be slowing down from exhaustion.

I went through the intensive task of manually digging out a hole in the desert floor to hole up inside, considering the lack of... well... anything really.

I continued to think things over while I worked.

So then, where else could that power have come from? It can't possibly be Luna. She herself was defeated by the elements of harmony, so there's no way she could be stronger than them. But I'm at a loss for where else that power could come from.

Maybe they just needed enough power to make up for Magic, and that's it? But they would still need to channel the other elements as well.

There is a third possibility, and that possibility is what has me worried. Cause if it's true, then there's a lot more going on than I thought.

I covered part of my exposed body with the dirt, hoping to seal in some more warmth. My coat should keep me warm during the night, but I can't be too safe, especially with how cold this place gets at night.

As I slowly shut down and felt my head growing heavier, my mind continued to race on one single detail.

Could it be true?

Could Discord have come willingly?

"Discord... We need to talk".

I won't lie, as much as a shock it may be, I was worried for Discord. Every passing week, I felt I was getting closer and closer to the end. To a unified theory of chaos magic. And possibly even more of a shock, I felt I was getting closer to Discord. And yet, his mood seemed to get worse and worse over time. At this point, he wasn't even trying to hide it.

"Oh, have you found something interesting that you wish to share with moi? Or did you overnight become smitten by my devilishly good looks". No amount of eyebrow wiggling could convince me that wasn't a half-hearted effort.


"Discord, what's wrong?" I said in my most sincere voice. And I wasn't pretending this time.

His usual cocky expression dropped almost imperceptibly. Maybe if it wasn't so obvious that he wasn't putting that much effort into it, maybe I wouldn't have noticed. In an attempt to save face, he shrunk himself down, and leaned one of my forelegs.

"Oh, is young Twily worried about little ol' me? I didn't know you cared! Still, whatever do you mean?". He said with a slightly higher voice due to his size.

"Look, I'm worried about you."

"What's there to be worried abo-"

"I'm not done." He immediately held his tongue. Like, claw wrapped around tongue-y flesh, held his tongue. "Something has been slowly bothering you the more research we get done. Now I might not be thousands of years old, but I'm not stupid. I know you don't care for my research, and I know that you love being you."

"Oh it's true-ue-ue!" He pulled out a mirror, and kissed it, before continuing his fake tears. I can tell he's trying to hide the fact that as I spoke, his posture went more and more rigid.

"So what I meant by 'what's wrong', is why in Celestia's name, are you still here?".

He stared at me blankly. "Excuse me?".

"What would you care about the results of this research! And if anything, you've been just as holed up in this library as me! Your mood has been slowly getting worse, you're not even putting any effort into being, well, YOU! What reason do you have to still be here, if it's only making you feel worse?!" I slow down a bit and catch my breath. "...I don't want to see you feeling down because you feel you need to be here..."

Throughout my monologue, Discord's expression grew more and more neutral. It was weird to see Discord, spirit of chaos, looking restricted and holding back.

"What reason do I have to be here? I don't think you understand, Twilight. I am the spirit of chaos. Where there is chaos, so am I. You may not realize this, but your experiments have resulted in a lot of chaos, concentrated right in this Library. There is chaos here, therefore, so am I."

His face became deadly serious, as he stared right through me. "As for why I might care for your research, frankly my dear, your research might very well leave me dead."

My eyes couldn't have widened more if I tried.

That's it!

I woke up with a start, immediately making my way onto my legs. The sun had yet to rise, but I didn't care. I knew what I had to do. I knew how to get a message out to Discord. It might be risky, but if it works, I might finally have a direction to work in.

"Where there is chaos, so am I."

This might just be my only chance.

I need to create some chaos in the badlands.

The research had continued slowly for about two more weeks. Discord barely talked that entire time. It was eerie, seeing who I considered the loudest, most obnoxious being I had the displeasure of calling a friend, be driven to near silence. Still, he did what I asked of him that was needed for the testing.

Unfortunately, he avoided any of my attempts to get him to open up.

During those 2 weeks, my machines experienced more and more errors and faults. Thankfully, none of the results were wildly incorrect, but the machines themselves would break down on me. By the time I had finished my report, I had known why.

But that still left Discord.

"Uhh, Discord?"


"The report is done."

"Oh, is it? Good for you."

"...You can leave now if you want."

"Well, I guess I'll be taking my leave then."

He goes to snap his fingers, most likely to teleport away. But I stop him.


He pauses. "Did you not say I could leave?"

"I just want to know one thing."

He looks irritated, but none the less he gestures with his claw to go on.

"...Why did you help me, if you believe that the results will kill you?"



"...Cause I was hoping, and I'm still hoping things turn out differently this time".

"...What? What do you mean?"

"I'm hoping that you-"

I focused my magic to my horn. I may not have my research with me, but I'd worked at it enough to remember the spell I'm casting.

This is my only remaining option.

"-Twilight, are you alright? You look awfully pale. I hope this task hasn't been too hard on you."

I looked up to see Celestia, kind as ever, with eyes filled with worry.

"I'm fine Princess. Really, I am. Just a little exhausted."

"You haven't been neglecting your friends, have you? You should know that whatever project I give you, it should not get in the way of your friends."

I thought back to everything Discord had done to help me, especially when he would push me to see my friends. "Oh, there's no need to worry about that. Discord more than helped me get out out of the library a bit. He's been quite a big help with the research."

If she was surprised to hear about Discord, she didn't show it. "Is that so? Well, I guess I better thank him personally then. He has certainly come along way, hasn't he?"

"Yeah..." I hope she doesn't notice my mood continuing to deflate. The more I sit here, the more I worry for Discord. Nuisance he may be, I don't want him gone. "...Princess?"

"Hmm?" She'd been slowly drinking her tea throughout the exchange. No doubt she's already confident in my results.

"...Can you remind me what this research was for?"

She smiled at the question. "Twilight, surely you haven't forgotten have you? As I mentioned when I gave you this assignment, if we can understand chaos magic, we can potentially rid evil of their power. It's an extra line of defense against our foes."

Then she smirked. "Surely you Twilight, of all ponies would like to remove variables."

And that what my first indication that something was wrong. And maybe if I wasn't so tired, I would of thought to keep my mouth shut.

"Variables, Princess? if I didn't know for certain that no one has seen my report, I'd have guessed you've already read it."

The strain on my magic became clear, pretty quickly. I hadn't been using my magic for anything beyond levitation while out here. I was exhausted, dehydrated and starving. I didn't know if I had the strength to pull of the spell, but I had no other choice. If this fails, I've secured my own death.

Her expression hadn't changed.

"And what would lead you to believe that?"

I hesitated, but went on none the less. "Well, as my report goes on to show, an increase in levels of ambient chaos magic, seems to result in more variables that need to be accounted for. My machines started to show signs of malfunction, but I was able to take into account any errors that arose."

"...Curious. Go on."

"However, the variables disappeared the moment I brought back in harmonious magic. It seemed to only occur when chaos magic was introduced." I myself take a sip of my tea. "So as far as indirect effects, chaos magic seems to result in, not quite unpredictability, but an increase in the number of variables to be accounted for."

"And direct?"

"Direct effects of chaos magic were hard to observe, until we reached a point where ambient chaos magic was actually measurable. At this point, ambient harmonious magic became immeasurable, leading me to believe that more of one kind of magic dilutes the other."

"And what were you able observe then?"

"When I observed the effects of magic directly, it just felt like changes were being made out of the blue, much like Discord's regular antics. Things would be changed in ways they shouldn't be able to be changed. However, based on my observations of indirect effects, I was led to believe that what it's doing is making new variables."

"New variables?"

"Well, for example, the materials that make up a cloud can't be changed. Different quantities, sure. But every cloud is still made up of the same basic elements. It's fixed. A direct effect of chaos magic may result in those elements being interchangeable, or making it variable. Then, that cloud can be made of anything, like cotton candy. And that idea can be scaled up to bigger things, given enough power behind it."

"So your research has led you to believe that chaos magic is creating variables that shouldn't be there?"

"I wouldn't say, shouldn't be there. More so, that as you decrease exposure to chaos magic, the more things become fixed and predictable."

"Doesn't sound all that bad though, does it?"

That stuck out to me as a bit weird. "...Princess, do you know all of this already? You've been asking me to clarify, but so far you seem to already know what I'm saying..."

"Guilty as charged." She smirked at me. Likely, she was expecting me to react, knowing that the answers were already out there. "However, did you manage to create the spells to alter ambient chaos levels? I believe I sent a letter through Spike about that a week ago."

"Yes! Of course! I almost didn't, but when I got your letter, I steered my research away from the theoretical, in order to try and produce a spell."

"And did it work?" she asked. She looked hopeful for an affirmative.

"...Yes. But Princess, I must ask again. What was this all for?"

She grew serious. "It's surprising to see you asking so many questions. Don't worry, the spells you've made are very important to what I have planned."

"But Princess, what do you have planned?"

"As I said, if we can understand chaos magic, we can-"

"-Get rid of evil's power. I get that. But you said you have something planned. Princess, what is it?"



"Twilight. Give me your report." And that was the moment where all kindness from her voice was lost.

...She'd never given me a command like that before. No kind words surrounding it. No motherly like affection beneath her words.

No. That was an order.

"Princess, with all due respect, I can't on good conscience give this to you, without knowing what you plan to use it for."

And that was when she grew angry. "Twilight, are you questioning me? Give me the report. Now."

"Not when it might mean the death of my friend!"



...That outburst surprised even me.

"...Excuse me?"

"I-If what I understand is correct, if you can control the balance of chaos and harmonious magic, you have control of Discord's life." Strength was filling me at that moment, understanding the kind of power I had on the parchment in front of me. "And Discord or not, no one should be allowed that control over someone."

"Twilight, that report has the power to safeguard Equestria indefinitely. No more uprisings. No more invasions. No ponies coming from nowhere, that threaten the security of this nation. No longer would we be at the mercy of the unpredictable."

And that was when it all came together. Why Discord's mood grew worse. What Discord tried to warn me of. Why my spells are so important to her plans.

"Surely you Twilight, of all ponies would like to remove variables."

Celestia was going to rid the world of chaos magic. She was going to purge even the potential for evil.

And that meant Discord would die.

Even as tears came to my eyes from the strain, I pushed forward. My strength came from knowing why I'm doing this. What it might mean if I fail. Either Celestia finds my research, or she finds the next bearer to the element of magic. In the end, the only way to prevent Celestia is for me to stop her now.

And that means I'm going to need help. I'm going to need help from the only being who can possibly rival Celestia. Without Discord, I have no hope.

Please Discord. Please. I need your help.

"...You're gonna kill Discord. You're gonna kill him." Tears that I didn't know I could spare for Discord, were filling my eyes. I don't care how much he annoyed me, or got on my nerves, Discord is still a friend. And the Celestia in front of me... This was a Celestia I'd never seen before. She was asking for control over Discord!

"But I have use for Discord's magic if it can be reformed..."

...She had Discord reformed, so that he could help secure his own death. That's beyond needlessly cruel. It's despicable.

"I can't give you this report!"

Fury. "Twilight, I have been a live for tens of thousands of years. I have killed, and will likely kill again. My threats are not to be taken lightly. You will suffer a fate worse than death, if you don't give me that report now!"

My head was shaking back and forth, trying to deny what I was seeing. Less than a few minutes ago, we were happily having tea to mark the end of my assignment, and now I'm fearing for my life. I couldn't believe it. Everything was happening so fast, that I hadn't processed any of it.

"...N-No. I can't do this, no!" I turned around and ran to the doors of the study, bringing my report with me in my magic, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

Yes. In the next few days I'll find out this has all been a huge misunderstanding.

I'll find out that Celestia was replaced by a changeling.

Or that this is Discord's idea of a clever prank.

Or that this is all one big nightmare.

I throw open the door, and prepare to dash. "Twilight, wait."

There's no regret, guilt or empathy in that voice. It's a stone cold request, that my body instinctively follows, as I turn to look at Celestia.

"I will not stop you Twilight. However, you can avoid a great many things if you stop right now."

My body is still frozen, not responding to my requests to leave immediately.

"If you do choose to leave, then know this." I turn my head, unable to hold her gaze. "Before you even reach Ponyville, you'll find half of it in ruin. The library destroyed. Your friends homes burned to the ground. It will be classified as a terrorist attack, and they will find that it was committed by none other than one Twilight Sparkle.

"They'll find out that your studies in to chaos magic has made you mentally unstable. That you'd been planning an attack on the town for weeks. Your friends will hate you. Your family will disown you. You will be thrown in prison, and be punished to the fullest extent applicable under Equestrian law.

"And then I'll get that report anyway."

If Discord doesn't appear soon from all the chaos magic, this will all be over. My whole body underwent excruciating pain. I was barely still standing, but I needed to continue. I needed more power. I needed to make a beacon out of chaos.

And at that moment, I reached my limit.

Every last drop of magic in my system had been expelled. My legs couldn't hold me anymore, and dread filled my system. I had failed.

As my head hit the ground hard, and my eyes grew heavy, I swore I heard the voice of a certain draconequus.

I ran. Of course I did, there was nothing else I could have done! Everything around me was collapsing, faster than I could process. I was preparing my horn to teleport as close as I could get to Ponyville.

I need to save them from my choice to run.

My body was gone in a white flash, and not a second later, I was standing on the dirt road, just on the outskirts of Ponyville.

I was already too late.

Author's Note:

Sorry for being dialogue heavy, and a bit longer than other chapters. I felt I needed to get more info out there, rather than holding important pieces back for later. The heavy amounts of dialogue has made this chapter longer than I expected, even though it covers about the same amount of story. (At least, in my notes).

I mean, 3500+ words? Geez!

Well, at least the story's at 10,000 words now. Only took a year and a half.

Comments ( 29 )

Long chapters aren't a bad thing, but 3000 is hardly long lol.

6774470 I meant compared to what I had otherwise been putting out. Because chapters to this story have been written on a "Am I somehow not busy with other projects right now? Do I feel like writing words in to a box?" basis, the other 4 chapters are between 1500-2000 words. While I have an outline, none of the actual writing parts are planned (hence the ludicrously slow release times, and unpredictable nature of those times).

So, considering those, 3500 words is long, because it means I've managed to write that much on a whim, and because it's comparatively longer than anything else in this story. That being said, if my outline is any indication, it looks like the trend is heading towards longer chapters, so this probably won't be considered long, for... long.

6774470 That being said, I've read most of the longest stories on this site, so I know what an actually long chapter is like, but I was making that comment in respect to this story in isolation, not as a chapter compared to the rest of the site.

Excellent chapter!

Now things are starting to really pick up. I can't wait for the next chapter!

... no seriously, I can't wait. Give me the documents and Mr. Fuzzybottums won't get hurt.

Aw god damn it, it was just getting seriously interesting!!!

6774523 Well, the notes I keep describe Chapter 5 with six, 2-3 word bullet points, and Chapter 6 has eight. My "documents" really would leave a lot to be desired ;P

Don't take this the wrong way, but I find it hard to believe this was written for a contest.

I say that purely because I just don't know where these contests are held. I see stories saying they are written for contests, but...where are these contests? Where do they exist? And why are they not made more obvious to people who might want to enter them?

6774557 Contests usually take place on the forums of the many groups on the site. Some of the smaller but more active groups, will host a contest every so often, with a prompt or guidelines for a story. The description should have the contest the first chapter of this story was written for, linked. I didn't actually produce something that warranted an entry, but that was what got this story started.

6774562 You know I wasn't being rude right? Just double checking here.

Also, I think contests should be made more obvious. Maybe have a contest page where contests can be listed per week or whatever.

Then again, I have little confidence in my abilities so I doubt I'd enter a contest anyway. I mean what is the prize for these contests anyway?

6774568 Contests are done by moderators or owners of groups, not as a site thing, so making dedicated contest pages seems like a bunch of extra work, for very little return. If a group is active, you should be able to find any contests being held, pinned to the top of their forums, if they're an official contest for a group.

Also, often time these contests are simply done as fun little "here's an idea, roll with it" stories, with no prize beyond a feature. For instance, the Exiled Contest was a contest that was done by the "Badass Twilight" group. It's "prize" was simply a feature on the group.

6774584 I see...

Well, while other people may think it's worth entering those contests for a feature, I don't know if that's for me then. Not only do I have faith in my abilties due to...certain genre of stories ruining my motivations to write, but I don't find the idea of a simple feature all that entirely appealing.

Don't get me wrong, it does sound nice, and it IS something of a prize. I just...personally don't fancy putting effort and work into a story for something like that. I mean, a place in the Popular section is just as good in the end.

But hey, if you and everyone else think it's worth going for, I'll root for you guys all the same. Especially you dude. This seems like a good little story. I hope you can get this entered into another contest later in the future and have it succeed. Best of luck to you, good sir or madam. (bows politely)

I wonder if the elements of harmony or the tree will help as well since if celestia has to control by policing everything it not true harmony it can go terribly wrong like stagnation or a weird harmony dystopia kind of like starlight glimmer everyone the same utopia idea but forced world order I think?

Not comfortable here with the portrayal of Celestia. Heck what she is doing is hypocracy. Destroying Twilight's home and her friends lives is PURE evil itself. And where's Luna? Heck I wonder about Cadance.

I don't know the next few chapters might make or break this story for me.

6775224 I wouldn't enter ti. But I do appreciate your kind gesture to let me know of a contest.

I guess I COULD have a look into these group contests now I know where to actually be looking.

Merry Late Christmas to you, and may you find wealth, peace and love this New Year, sir and madam.

Looks like Sunbutt has fallen into the twin traps of Stasis and The Greater Good. :facehoof:

oh TIA would you like to help me Bake Cupcakes i need you, to elp me find the missing ingredients

also long live the luna republic

Seems that Celestia isn't truly aiming for a world without evil, she is aiming for a world without choice. Only her control and her thoughts are right in her eyes, and all other thoughts and decisions are wrong. Chaos is what makes life Life, for their cannot be Good without Evil.

6775045 It might be the case that she isn't truly making a world without Evil, merely a would without choice. She demands that reality and nature bend to HER control, with no chaos to challenge her "right".

6778784 but that seems SO OOC that it might kill my reading of this story. One exile story I read made the very same mistake.

Me too. Celestia in this story is preparing to perform a major act of chaos - wanton destruction covered over with lies and obfuscations. That can't possibly be in line with harmony. She's clearly being hypocritical; if harmony did truly overtake the world in choiceless rightness, what reason does she have beyond sheer hubris to believe that her desires would be upheld? She might find herself as casually discarded as she is ready to do with Twilight's friends.

6780127 it just doesn't match what i know of her. Heck even in the other exile story Twilight's exile did make sense and her OOC moment was because of her desperation to have the EOH back in working order. This is a complete 180 and not a fan of it.

6779650 I respect your opinion in this matter. Still, I wish to see how it goes.

And the plot thickens! We have a apparently slightly crazy Tyrantlestia and Twilight and Discord the only ones even knowing about it. :applejackconfused:
Very good chapter. :twilightsmile:

This seems pretty interesting, I'm glad I only just discovered this as it was only this most recent chapters where things seemed to pick up enough to get me hooked.

Heh, this song has rather well ring of with motives of this Celestia.

The story HAD potential. Just need to figure out a way to make Celestia's actions valid for her being like this didn't make sense.

Suck that the story is canceled but i have to say this.


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