Not fast enough

by demonbaker

Decision

The wind whistled through her feathers, the emptiness inside her numbed her to the cold this high up.

Stretched down below is Equestria, small yellow lights scattered around the world flickering beneath her. It always looked so orderly this high up. Like a patchwork quilt during the day.

It wasn’t day now. The warming rays of Celestia’s sun were gone.

Another gust of wind hit Dash, but she didn't budge. Her gaze not shifting at all.

She was sitting right on the edge of Cloudsdale. Her left-wing throbbed with pain, the memory of pushing herself to her absolute limit still stark in her mind. The crash was a blur but she could still clearly see Scootaloo below her, almost close enough to touch.

Almost.

Even in her dreams, she doesn’t catch up to the orange shape falling before her.

Falling….always falling.

She continued to stare over the edge, her body was devoid of fear, a great pit of emptiness inside her. Something had shattered when Fluttershy told her what happened. It felt like the world fell from beneath her hooves.

Like there wasn’t anything holding her up anymore.

Whatever broke, it was something that can't be fixed, she hasn’t felt anything since then.

It was her fault. she brought her there.

She could have taken more time to make sure the cloud was safe.

She could have avoided hitting it with the wind as she passed.

Scootaloo’s laughter when she did that flashed through her mind, the sound that was once precious and pure, now rang hollow and empty.

She could have paid more attention.

It’s her fault she’s gone.

Her muzzle itched and she absently scratched it, something shining on her hoof in the starlight.

Frozen tears, she didn’t even realize she was crying, the emptiness inside her shifted a little.

She didn't deserve to be there, They both should have died.

Dash moved closer to the edge, it was so dark she couldn’t even see houses, just the lights that flickered in the night. The dark shadow of a forest barely visible in the moonlight beneath her.

It was perfect.

Her hoof slowly moved over the edge, the wind whipping her mane behind her, the thin hospital gown fluttering, sounding like a flag blowing in the breeze.

“Don’t.”

Dash flicked an ear, the word was so faint she almost didn’t notice it. She looked around for the source of the sound. When she didn’t notice anything she went back to looking down.

Suddenly warmth began working its way into her side, With a start, she realized somepony is leaning into her.

It was Fluttershy. She didn't say anything, just sat there, leaning against Dash.

Slowly Dash sat down again, Shy was also looking over the edge, still not saying another word. The fur on her face was still matted, two well-traveled paths leading from her eyes where she’s been crying.

She wasn't crying now, her face was neutral as she watched the lights beneath them.

Don’t

What was she talking about? Dash’s mind was already made up, Fluttershy wasn’t a very strong flyer. She couldn’t stop her if she took that final step.

Don’t.

She’s just sitting there, leaning against her. She’s wasn't holding Dash back or anything.

She could still join Scootaloo.

Don’t. It was just one word, it wasn’t even spoken in anger. Just the usual soft Fluttershy tone.

Her usual kind tone.

Why was she here? She knew Dash failed too. Not even the others came to see her while she was in the hospital.

The others….What would they say?

Applejack would probably call her a coward. Twilight would try to find a solution in a book somewhere.

Rarity would summon her fainting couch.

Pinkie would... Dash had no clue what she would do.

And Fluttershy...she’d do what she’s doing now.

Just being here with her.

Something inside Dash shifted again, and a thought broke through the emptiness.

None of them would abandon her.

The cold of the wind was fading away, Fluttershy was doing a better job than the thin hospital gown at keeping Dash warm. The wind hit them again and she could feel Fluttershy shiver a bit from the cold.

They wouldn’t abandon her.

“Did... did they come to see me?”

Fluttershy nodded in response. Her eyes were closed now, her mane flowing in the wind.

“Twilight was the first to get there, Celestia was already at the hospital somehow. You were out of surgery by then, the pegasus who brought you in was gone, something called her away. The rest came and went after making sure you weren’t in any danger.”

Dash was wrong about them. Her failure was still present in her mind, but that thought is growing stronger every moment.

They didn’t abandon her

Don’t they know she failed? They didn't know Scootaloo that well, but they should still be angry. They should be yelling at her for her failure. She turns once again to look over the edge, her hooves just inches from the abyss. When she looks down this time something else wormed its way inside of her.

It was fear.

Her wing still throbbed. It shouldn’t hurt, it was gone.

Yet it hurt whenever she thought of that day, the memory of pushing herself with everything she had still there.

And that small orange shape always falling below her.

Falling…

Images of Dash's friends flashed before her eyes, twinkling among the lights below. With a start dash stood up and moved back from the edge, her heart beating so hard in her chest that she was certain all of Cloudsdale could hear it.

Shy was surprised at the sudden moment, she looked afraid. Checking below her first, and then behind her to where Dash was.

When she saw Dash was fine she looked at her for a moment, studying her face for short while.

Then she seemed to sigh in relief.

The look on Fluttershy’s face confirmed it.

They didn’t abandon her.

she couldn't abandon them.

Fluttershy put her hoof on Dash’s shoulder, gently leading her back toward the hospital. Dash sighed and let herself be guided.

The twinkling lights over the edge get farther and farther away.

She still wants to join Scootaloo. But not now.

At least not today, not as long as her friends won’t give up on her.

Author's Note:

While this story was finished, I felt I could add more to it, and exploring dash in this world is interesting to me.

What challenges lie ahead? can she forgive herself?

How is she going to live with the injury? so many different avenues. I have another chapter that's done, and I'll be uploading that one shortly as well.