- Member Since 20th Oct, 2011
- offline last seen Oct 29th, 2022
SteampunkBrony
♫ Do you want to build an airship? ♫
SteampunkBrony
Joined 20th Oct, 2011 ·
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damn
I have to wait for the next chapter to come out now :/
track'd and liked
Twilight seems to be taking the change quite well so far.
Tracking.
EDIT:
"I broke into a gallop,smiling as the countryside"
Needs a space after the comma.
Definantly going to keep my eye on this one.
Feels a bit off in some places. Like it moves a bit too quickly, and Twi takes being turned into a Vampony a bit too well too quickly. There's also the thing where she seems to guess what she is right off the bat. Did she read alot of books on the subject? Why did she pick up on it so quickly?
I'm just pokin holes in it though. I do like it, and shall track as well :3
I was hoping someone would make a fanfic like this after seeing that pic. Tracking.
352008
352079
good eyes, will fix that.
352123
352225
no proofreader either.
352303
well, i hinted at there being stories about them. as for the rushing, well' first person is a bit of a pain to not rush in, too many i's, but thats why i'm using it. as for the rest, i will explain if i remember to.
352334
i had to write something for it, it is just too god of a piece of art not to.
Ehh needs more Gilda+Spike+Scratch
It was perhaps a bit rushed, but this fic feels like it has a lot of potential. I really liked Twilight discovering and taking to her changes gleefully until she understood what she had lost, and while Ceres' dialect slipped noticeably here and there, I like the idea of the standard 'mentor guiding the changing hero through their transformation' not being a parent figure like Celestia (as happens a lot in the 'Twilight's an alicorn now' fics), but a peer who's gone through the same thing and can relate to Twilight's concerns more directly.
Nice bits of worldbuilding with Twilight being drawn to the preserved rooms in the castle (the old quarters of Luna's favoured vampony?). Really looking forward to more of this one, which is not something I often say about anything involving the word 'vampony'.
Very well written, very good story idea and overall an enjoyable story. I look forward to the next chapter
. Twilight is best Vampony 
good begining can not wait to see where you take this keep it up
also traking
uh is eyeteeth a real word?
anyway good story like it tracked keep writing
352804
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/eyeteeth
352428
And it would seem there are two extra spaces, one in each the third and fourth paragraphs. Each is near a quotation mark.
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I will be going through that and either explaining or fixing it, however I don't have any prior experience writing with that language style so it is interesting to say the least. If i find the time i'll go over this and work on fixing the rushing problem.
352627
That she is, although methinks fluttershy would be the best werepony.
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352804
It is a real word, although slightly obscure. It refers to the canine/cuspid teeth (aka, the ones that turn into fangs for vampires.)
the more you know
352953
gah, i got commentsniped. I will add that to the list of repairs i gotta make to this. *pulls out a lengthy scroll*
a well written vampire fic with no gary-stu yet??????? what socery is this
352956
I'm tracking Night's Magic. I was the 25th person to read that story when it was first posted
And it still needs more Gilda.
353036
Keep me posted if i start Mary/gary-stuing any characters, i will be sure fix anything.
353112
There will be more gilda there, although it may be a little while. I don't write plot out ahead of time for any of these, but i have ideas to use.
I have to wait?
WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!! 
Tracking
How would that even work?
Should you decide to explain why Twilight is so calm about this (other than one teary break down) would be to state she is into much shock to express much worry.
By the way, shouldn't it have an Alternate Universe tag?
353534
Well if it makes any sense, its called shock or something close to that.
she might be in "coping" mode, making her somewhat oblivious to the fact that she just changed.
You never know though I may be wrong
353546
Hard for her to ignore the change by the end. In particular when it is said Celestia should not be informed due to not liking those blessed by the moon by default. I do not think Twilight has a coping mode for that.
353534
good idea on that tag, forgot about that one. Also about the coping mode thing, or shock, when doing that some people repress some bits of information they've heard if it's too much, well at least until the shock starts to wear off. Some people go into a "Take this one step at a time" mode, and some, i know one of these, can be in a "Dealing with it for now" mode for days. don't worry, Twi' isn't one of those.
love it
although i gotta say; everything is moving very quickly, i mean i understand why you hastened the fight with NMM but everything after that happens extremely quickly
twilight just notices the strange feeling as soon as she is back (feels like it atleast) and immediately decides to take a walk. then you almost directly go from the library to the forrest where twi does a lot of strange things she shouldnt be able to do (as far as she knows) with almost no thoughts about it. then you move to the tower at the same pace, the scene inside the tower is almost as quick; if not quicker.
i mean i dont have a problem with how you did it, its just you could have lengthened it quite a bit with details, thoughts and pacing the changes a bit. its just my opinion, and as i said; i really love it, its great, but it just feels like you mashed together a series of actions that could have been around 9-15k words long into a sequence of only 3k words.
Holy moly. Moar!!!
and some things u might want to keep in mind:
Twilight's probably going to want to examine her 'new self' in a scientific manner.
Celestia will know of this eventually. How will she react?
Twilight's paranoid, she'll be worrying about how her friends will think, probably going nuts over it.
353856
I see, quite a valid you bring to the table. Although even with people that are closer than any others you'll find that there are still secrets to be had between them. Can't wait for more of this story though :D
355089
Yeah i have a lot of material to work with there. I'll get to work on that after the next chapter, as it stands I'm not the happiest with it either.
355298
Probably. I'll get around to that next chapter if i remember.
Totally tracking.
This. Story. Is. AWESOMENESS!!!!!!!
Holy buck, i must like writing this one. I think i broke my own record with this chapter. Comment and enjoy.
Really liking the direction this is taking. No woe-is-me excessive drama, just Twilight adjusting to what's been forced on her and planning out how to fit it into her life without too much interruption - but at the same time, she's still reacting understandably to 'you need to suck ze blood now, blah'. Feels slice-of-life-y, which is nice.
358468
Because of that commment I am tempted to make photo phinish a vampony now...
This is interesting, moar!
358477
'I take ze photos, because I cannot be in zem!'
' ... That's not actually true, Ms Finish. Luna assured me myths like that are just -'
'BLAH!'
'And that's just unnecessary.'
358532
Now I am definately putting her in.
I LOVES IT. Read it once, then got stoned and read it again. IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!
358542
She could be the other kind of vampony. For comparison sake.
I spy a few capitalization errors (at least three), and may look for them later to send in a PM.
358613
A compulsion for counting objects being optional?
358611
358613
Please do, I try to get everything but as of right now i do not have a proofreader.
358542
Can you at least make her talk without the accent. I think it might be kind of annoying to read this if she talks like that.
358624
gah, you guys are commenting faster than i can reply.
I may or may not, all depends on whether or not i feel like typing in that accent.
Oh hey. Seeing as Luna has explained how to make obedient little vampire friends to Twilight, you have the option of transitioning into a harem fic should vampin' it up get boring on its own.
358636
... well that would definately fit the description of "Pushing my boundaries." We'll go with we'll see, i haven't thought that far ahead.
358623
Sleeplessness caused by Monster. I'm just happy That I can't crash!
I would help you out by proofreading, but I'm going back to school tomorrow and that means I won't be allowed to sleep. Well, that and there's no wifi in the dorms and we are not allowed to take our computers into our rooms. Weed helps with the constant boredom, as well as working out constantly.
Hell, you don't even need the transformation, given that just the bite process is erotic. Those of Twi's friends that are in the know subtly competing to see who gets to be her next bite-buddy would be funny.
... Wow, I really do miss that decent haremfic I found that stopped getting updated. I'm putting far too much thought into this.
358656
I know the feeling brony, although right now it's more oppressive parents, but here isn't the place to bitch about my life. fortunately getting away from it all is only a spliff away.
358660
I think that last line just made my day. I haven't wrote anything like that and i'm trying to keep things to a first person perspective, but we'll see.
358662
HELL YEAH!!! BROHOOF!
358676
/)(\
358636
Celestia would not approve.