Out of boredom Discord visits Celestia, bringing her some sweet gifts.
Written for the #5 EQD Writer's Training Ground
This is written to improve my writing, so any (remotely constructive) criticism is welcome.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 22nd Mar, 2013
- offline last seen Dec 23rd, 2023
dredaich
Change is the only constant in life. -Heraclitus
dredaich
Joined 22nd Mar, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- naturalbornderpy · 3.9k words · 644 8 · 10k views
- naturalbornderpy · 8.1k words · 888 33 · 11k views
- naturalbornderpy · 4.1k words · 522 19 · 7.7k views
- Surprise The Pegasus · 2.9k words · 124 1 · 3.7k views
- naturalbornderpy · 2.6k words · 237 10 · 4.3k views
- Foals Errand · 9.9k words · 196 11 · 4.9k views
- ShadowStrike11 · 1.4k words · 82 2 · 1.6k views
- Word Worthy · 4k words · 80 2 · 2.6k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.117 seconds
Total duration
1,086 users online
1,593,112 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I recommend copying your story onto word, for grammar and punctuation. Otherwise, spelling was fine. Considering this was a comedic slice of life, I'd say that the plot was good, and so was the dialogue.
Thumbs up!
3872654
Thank you for that advice. I didn't know Word has a grammar correction. Sadly I don't have a copy of it, but in that case I will consider buying one.
3875401 Yeah, Microsoft word has grammar and spell check. And you are welcome. :)
3875401
Libreoffice also has grammar and spell checkers, and is rather more affordable.
Your story got off to a really good start, and you kept everyone in character; it seemed to just sort of fizzle out at the end, though. I'd've liked to have seen more of pony's reactions to the Princess of Candyland.
3920143
I've found out, that there is a grammar add-on for open office too. Nonetheless, thank you for the hint.
I had some ideas for the reactions. But I was far to exhausted to go on at that evening and I wanted to send it in for the Writer's Training Ground, therefore I discarded them.
It would be nice, if I could tell you, that I'll continue that story. I also think there should be more. Sadly, if I'm honest, I don't think this will happen, because I feel neither enough drive nor pressure to bring myself to continue this story.