It's been nine long months since Applejack had conceived her baby. The day had finally come where she could give birth and bring a new life into the world. It's a time of celebration for all her friends and family.
However, she is not as quick to join in the celebrations. A nagging feeling dwells within her that things won't go as planned. Memories of her mother passing during giving birth to Apple Bloom plague her mind and she can't help but feel that she won't survive the birth. It's a gut feeling. And her gut feelings are never wrong.
At peace with her possible passing, she allows herself to be transported to the hospital to experience the miracle of life... and death.
Sorry that there is no cover art, but I couldn't find anything suitable, plus I was too lazy to make one of my own. If anyone has seen anything, post it in the comments or PM me and I'll gladly place your name in the description as thanks!
Ponies in the real world are pregnant for 11 months, not 9! I'm sorry, but it irks me that people just do 9 months because it's as long as a human pregnancy, when ponies are pregnant for a few months more.
Other than that though, it was a great read, parts sad, happy, and heartwarming
3939736 ponies also can't eat potato chips, the show had that.
3939829
True, they have some characteristics that are more human than pony, but that doesn't mean we need to make them completely like humans. And I don't think their outward appearance should be the only thing different.
If only hooves had thumbs...
I cant give you two thumbs up
I can give you a like and a fave though.....
HOLD ME FOR A SEC!!!!
3939855 >implying premature births don't exist
I can't really fault Apple Bloom calling her niece, 'little sis.' Some light grammar errors here and there.
Great story. I am exceptionally surprised how you handled the revelation of Sugarcube's paternal side. He is known, however, never called by name. He also went out doing something any Apple would be proud of doing for their community.
I must gorge myself on the tears of frustrated Applejack shippers everywhere.
This was a decent read, and I didn't hate it or anything, but I didn't really care for it either. Mechanically speaking, it's mostly sound except for a few spelling/punctuation errors and a moderate-to-severe case of saidism abuse. A good editor can clean all that stuff up quickly.
The thing that really yanked me out of the story was the thematic inconsistency. Simultaneously conveying conflicting emotions like joy and sorrow is tricky business at the best of times, and I just couldn't buy it here. It felt like they were being separated and only one was being allowed prominence at any given moment, like a tag team. Also, Granny Smith's death felt completely unjustified, like it was arbitrarily happening just for the sake of adding drama. It also could have been built upon with a "Granny Smith died in my place" internal conflict for Applejack, but that opportunity went unexplored.
Another thing that felt lacking was the subplot about AJ's mate. It felt like it was supposed to be building up to something, but then just takes the "he's just some guy, and he's dead now" route. It would have better to just give that information up front since there's no real payoff for it.
Again, decent read, but it just didn't do anything for me. With a bit more work, though, it could be pretty special.
3939736 It's a fucking cartoon. Let that sink in for a bit.
A very heart-warming story. Props. I quite liked the fake-out; it added an impact the story wouldn't have had if it had gone the route it initially seemed to be on. That said, I'm gonna have to be that guy, cause I spotted a few errors.
The word wrongful, according to oxforddictionaries.com, means "not fair, just, or legal." I don't think that's quite what you wanted to convey.
Wrong form of your.
Again, wrong form of your. Also, the word gave should be taken out.
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Hold me
3940487 Thank you for the comment! Always better to leave a bit of advice instead of just reading, shrugging, then leaving. I agree; a lot of stuff got left out. It started one night and continued on for a few nights. By the end I was sadly bored with the idea and gave up. Big fault on my part.
3941071 I really, really, have to stop forcing these things out before I have an editor look at them. Most of the time they set on my laptop, finished, but I never get around to posting them. When I finally do, I could care less about waiting for an editor; patience is not one of my virtues when it comes to things I must do on the internet, sadly.
3940305 I was wondering if you were going to show up.
I WILL KILL YOU THIS IS SO FUCKING UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGG
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Heartwarming yet so sad.
Not sure if you're aware of this bro but the 'water' generally breaks way before the contractions hit. Furthermore my sister was in labor for almost two whole days before she had my nephew. Giving birth is a long process except in very rare cases. AJ's 'water' breaking would not be painful either, most women don't even realize it except they feel like they urinated by accident from the wetness on their undergarments. Aside from that I thought it was fairly emotionally moving. You probably want to state that AJ's water broke some hours beforehand and that the painful, involuntarily contractions were what spurred her to go to the hospital. That tends to be the biggest telling sign.
6366130 Yeah, I didn't put far too much thought into this story. I had written this during my 'downfall' on writing, and was just trying to get something done. I actually wasn't all too happy with this story in the end
6366166 Don't be sad. You can fix it pretty easily.