Spike The Dragon is a ponyville resident who gets excepted into Hopes's Peak Academy, the school for those who have a hopeful brighter future, but he and 15 other students are actually trapped in the school, and now, as the rules are given by the 'Head master' to kill one another, but if they kill someone, the murderer can go free. but he or she must take a trial to prove their innocence as they lie through the trial, and if they fail they die.
Join spike and his classmates as he soon becomes conflicted between the borderline of hope and the deep sea of despair.
Chapters (2)
As a dr fan i must say this fic is unBEARably good shame we don't have a set of dr pony emoticons still good work can't wait until garbles execution!
*cough*it'sspelledDanganRonpa*cough*
Pretty ok could use a check up with words and such.
4038824 Why would we have them? After all were a small group with a few members. And...USE SOME GODDAMN PERIODS!
4038921 AAAHHH NO...I....I'm...such trash...even komaeda is better then me...no seriously thanks for telling me, I'll change it as soon as I can
It's definitely a good start, and each of the characters was surprisingly well fleshed out despite only having a brief appearance. The variety among the characters was great as well (plus I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one mixing canon and OC characters).
However, because I want for this story to do well and for you to grow stronger as a writer, I'm gonna be that much harder critiquing it. First off, you REALLY need to work on grammar and capitalization. The amount of run-on sentences was staggering. I would recommend getting an editor for this. Secondly, the world needs to be fleshed out better. If I hadn't played Danganronpa already, I would have been lost. Even then, a writer needs to be able to paint a clear picture of a setting, even if the audience is already familiar with it. In addition, everything that wasn't an introduction was rushed. Again, if it hadn't been a play-by-play of the game, I wouldn't have known what was going on (on a similar note, I advise you to avoid copying the game too closely.)
That said, I enjoyed reading it, and I encourage you to keep at it.
Hope your deaths are nice and gruesome! (Wow that sounded messed up out of context.)
Maybe I'm wrong but... This sounds a lot like Doubt and Judge. That's a good thing by the way :)
And now I actually read the other conments and know what you based this on... Awesome!! :D
So far so good but it is a little to simlar to the first game but I do like the cast here. Makes it intersting. Try to make sure you have you own path down this story.
4043261 don't worry, it was originally going to be the exact same as the game then I was like, "no..thats stupid, i'm gonna be original" so expect actual surprises in this story...really...honest..it won't be obvious I-I swear
4039086 i would but i ran out of soul can i use yours?
4063024 NO.
4045465 You got that wrong! from what we have seen so far it seems like a play by play but i aplaud you for having the balls to make fun of naegi so i will keep mono off your back..........for now.*cue dramatic music*
4063033 you forgot to use a period.
4063052 Look again.
4063063 that wasn't there b4
4063072 Yes it was.
4063077 by monokumas monotone ballsack it wasn't there!
4063087 Prove it.
4063090 *looks through ammo*t-there's nothing i can use!?!
4063104 *Laughs evilly*.
4063108 *ephihany anagram*____
EDIT-I GOT IT!
the reason there's no evidence is you edited the comment if that's the case then only you plus anyone who read the comments at the time would know it!
4063128 What if you simply never noticed the period. Besides do you have any witnesses?
4063138 i don't need any you gave it away yourself!
4063144 Really? Do tell?
4063146 doesn't it strike you as odd that you would follow a exclamation with a period? you were pretty quick to object thus if it was there you would have changed it to a exclamation mark unless you really don't care about your soul that much.
4063192 Well I did lose it in a game of twister.
4063201 you don't object?
4063208 Oh I do. You probs didn't notice it.
4063215 (should we skip to the mtb since i really can't see your objection?)
4063231 Sure.
4063244 (you do know that you are supposed to issue several objection in a row right? essentially talk really quick and not give anyone a chance to make a objection.)
4063269 Your an idiot
Why couldn't you see it ? it was right there
your an idiot
prove I edited it
4063274 actually I'm highly intelligent i admit my penmenship needs work butyour wrong!
Any proof. You have none I'm not suprised
Wow that's a bad argument
Still no proof. Twat
Am I winning
I think I'm winning
You have said barely anything I've said plenty
4063284 it wasn't!
Your wrong!
Prove you didn't!
4063305 What?
Idiot what the f*** are you talkin about?
4063305 You theorized I edited it.
Yeah I'm winning.
Hello?
4063300 (damn it he's right at this rate me and everyone else will get punished.) HOLD IT...can you prove your the same person?