Chapter V - Steam Powered Chaos
Archimedes
Chapter V - Steam Powered Chaos
“Another boring patrol… joy.”
Iron Wing groaned as he trudged down the long, empty corridor. There were no sounds apart from the soft echo of his armored hoof connecting with the ground below. There were no nobles walking around, no other guards.
Not even a pretty maid he could watch from behind.
No, just himself and the worst patrol route in the rota.
The guards had all been assigned their usual rotas for that day, as per the norm. However, Iron Wing had been distracted, again, by the swaying of a maids flank and had wasted ten minutes when he was supposed to be at the rota switch meeting. As such, the pegasus was given the route that covered the old wing of the palace to patrol. The wing where no one ever walks in, the wing where no one even visits. Just a bunch of old paintings that dotted the long, dreary corridors for what seemed miles and miles.
Still, he couldn’t complain that much. It at least gave him a chance to be alone with his thoughts, take his sweet arse time and generally relax a little bit. In a sense, the route was a blessing. It was just a shame it had to be so bloody boring.
As he trudged his way down the hall, the floor began to ever so slightly rumble. Blinking, he looked down and tilted his head, somewhat confused at the slight vibrations. His eyes widened, however, as the vibrations increased and a heavy stomping sound grew louder and louder.
He looked up just in time to be able to throw himself to the side as a metal titan rushed past him, steam billowing in a black plume like a steam locomotives funnel and ran down the corridor. A screaming bat pony hanging on for dear life.
“Archimedes, stop!” the pony screamed.
Iron Wing blinked as not five seconds after, a blur of blue rushed past followed by Princess Luna, five of the six elements, a zebra and Prince Blueblood. He simply watched with his jaw dropped as the strange parade of metal and ponies disappeared around the corner. Shaking himself out of his shocked trance, he quickly galloped after them.
Needless to say, today wouldn’t be been boring.
“Archimedes, stop!” Moon wailed as she clung on for dear life.
Archimedes seemed not to hear her as he continued to pound down the corridor. Only one thing was on his mind right now. His beloveds safety. They soon began to get closer and closer to another door that made Moon’s eyes widen with fear.
The door to the main parts of the palace.
In a vain and desperate attempt to stop the hulking robot, she started to bash his head with her hoof, hoping to get some kind of response out of him, but to no avail. She squeaked and ducked so she was protected by his body as he smashed his way through the door, sending wood, stone and goodness knows what flying everywhere.
Two nearby guards jumped in alarm seeing the huge metal titan burst out from the now large hole in the wall and stared in shock and bewilderment. Archimedes quickly looked left and right before suddenly taking off to the right and darting around the corner, his heavy metal boots loudly stomping with each step.
The guards just stared when a pony they recognized as Rainbow Dash shot out of the hole panting, she saw the faint smoke trail left behind and dashed off to the right and around the corner as quick as she could before the guards had a chance to even ask her what the heck was going on. As the guards continued to stare, Princess Luna and her small group emerged, each one panting slightly.
“You there! Guards pony!” Luna cried, “Did you see which way—”
The guard interrupted by pointing his hoof to the right, seeing the smoke had now vanished. Quickly, the group took off leaving the two guards still staring in shock. The last pony to emerge, was Iron Wing who had a look of confusion mixed with pure excitement on his face.
“Uh…” the first guard started.
“No time! Come on!” Iron Wing replied before running after the others.
The two guards looked at one another before nodding and running after them.
As she flew past several guards who were all sharing the same dumbfounded look on their faces as she raced past, Rainbow gritted her teeth as she fought to hold back her coughs as she came closer to Archimedes, the thicker the smoke became. Finally, the mare caught up to him and flew to his left hand side.
“Hey! You big metal lug, you need to stop!” she shouted as she flapped her wings as hard as she could.
“It won’t work!” Moon replied as she continued to bash Archimedes head. “He can’t seem to hear us!”
Rainbow snarled and tried to think of something. Her eyes widened a little as an idea came to her mind.
“Moon, hold on as tight as you can! I’m gunna try something!”
“Okay!”
With a confirmation nod, Rainbow shot out in front of Archimedes, bashing through two double doors and into the room that was behind them and out the others, giving her a long, long run up. The pegasus came to a near sudden halt at the end of the corridor, she turned to face the stomping hulk as it came closer to the room she had flown out of.
“Get ready!” she shouted to Moon as she focused her energy.
Rainbow suddenly shot towards him, a loud boom as a circular wave of rainbow colours erupted from her and she collided hooves first into the robot's chest just as he came into the room in order to try and stop him. The sonic rainboom making the glass windows around her shattered and a loud clang echoed throughout the room.
She cried out in pain as her hooves near broke from the impact and she fell to the floor, cursing every single swear word that she knew under Celestia’s sun. Ignoring the alarmed cries of the concerned bat pony as she continued to hold onto Archimedes as the robot smashed through the opposite two doors and down the corridor.
It was only then, that Rainbow Dash realised she was not alone in the room.
And that many a noble and guard were now lying on the floor, groaning in agony from the sonic rainboom she had just used.
Celestia suddenly shot her head up, stopping mid-laugh which was something that impressed Discord and looked towards the palace.
“Did you hear that?” she asked, “It sounded like an explosion.”
Discord paused for a moment, he had felt a strange feeling of chaotic magic coming from the castle, but it didn’t feel as if it was worth his time investigating. Besides, he had more pressing matters to attend to.
“I didn’t hear anything,” the draconequus replied. “Now… where were we?”
Celestia turned her head suddenly towards him to protest but before she could say anything, Discord quickly coiled himself around her and began to mercilessly tickle her once more. Making the white alicorn scream in hysterics.
Archimedes came to a screeching halt in a corridor, making Moon yelp as her head slammed into the back of his from the sudden stop. He blinked a few times as he processed the noise he had just heard.
His beloved was screaming again! He was running out of time!
“Finally… you bloody stopped, now—”
Moon fell off him as she put her hooves to her head as Archimedes let out a loud and long angry whistle that sounded like a locomotive. Steam blasting from his pipes as he shook in anger and his eyes turning red before running off down the corridor faster than before, his feet leaving indents in the ground below him .
“Mother of me…” Luna whispered as the group raced into the room.
They saw all of the ponies who were lying in pain on the floor, groaning as they rolled left to right slowly. The elements gasped seeing Rainbow on the floor holding her front legs to her chest and groaning loudly.
“Rainbow!” they cried.
“I-I’m fine! Get after Archimedes he went—”
They were interrupted by a long and loud steam whistle.
“Oh sweet donkey teats…” Luna cursed.
She turned to Blueblood quickly and the small entourage of guards that had followed them.
“Go and get the medical staff, now!” she barked.
Blueblood and the guards nodded and took off as quick as they could.
“Rainbow Dash, what happened?” Twilight asked as Rainbow slowly sat up.
“I kinda thought I could stop him with a sonic rainboom…” she replied before muttering, “Think I broke something.”
“We need to get ya help, that looks nasty…” Applejack grimaced at her injury.
“I’m fine, we need to stop—”
“You must not be so rash, you need to get your injury seen to, Rainbow Dash,” Zecora interrupted.
Rainbow was about to argue but the concerned look from her friends silenced her, “Fine, I’ll go get it looked at.”
“Very well, come on everyone!” Luna replied as she rushed out of the room, quickly followed by the others.
“O-Oh come on!” Celestia cried in between giggles, “Surely y-you heard that whistle!”
“Probably just a train, stop trying to resist and tell me!” Discord grinned.
“Never!” Celestia cried.
The draconequus chuckled as his army of claws and hands he had spawned roamed all over Celestia’s stomach and legs, tickling her without pause.
“Though, I will admit there is a strong feeling of chaos coming from the palace…” he mused to himself, gazing up at the palace in thought.
Suddenly, there was a loud, almighty explosion and a crash as something blasted out the side of the palace wall that faced the gardens, destroying the wall and windows in the process. Discord blinked as something large, metal and seemingly on fire jumped through the hole and fell to the ground at great speed before charging at him.
“What the heck is—”
Discord never finished his sentence as a metal fist connected with his face.
Archimedes burst through another wall, scattering more guards who were trying to stop him. His pistons and gears were working overtime as the robot pounded down corridor after corridor and through door after door.
He came to a screeching halt in an empty room and quickly scanned all around him, trying to hone in on where he last heard his beloved scream. He looked towards a wall that had some very decorative windows on them, depicting Celestia and Luna as foals with two alicorns he vaguely remembered for some reason. Were they their parents?
On another window it showed Celestia battling with another alicorn who looked like Luna only more… evil looking. He made a note to ask Celestia about that.
The other windows showed the elements of harmony defeating various evils. Ranging from the same alicorn, a strange snakey thing that looked familiar to him and the little dragon against what looked like an angry cloud.
Suddenly, before he could look at the windows anymore, he heard Celestia scream again and rushed to the window, seeing her being assaulted by the same snake demon he saw in the windows.
His vision dark shade of red as he ran backwards before raising his right arm at the wall, his hand quickly retracting into his gauntlet and a long barrel extended in its place. Archimedes aimed it at the wall before a loud explosion echoed around the room and a large round metal ball rocketed out of his arm and exploded as it came into contact with the wall, shattering all the glass windows and blowing a massive hole in the wall.
Immediately, Archimedes ran through the large hole with a mechanical roar and plummeted into the gardens below. As soon as he landed, he began to run full pelt towards where Celestia, who despite having the claws and talons all over her was staring at him jaw dropped. The snake creature was also looking at him with confusion.
“What the heck is—”
It never finished its sentence as Archimedes’ metal fist connected with its face, sending the snake hurtling across the garden bouncing along the ground and into a wall with a loud boom.
Celestia gasped, “Archimedes! What—”
“Engaging hostile,” Archimedes interrupted with a loud rumble.
Discord groaned as he sat up in the small pile of rubble that was around him, little Discords running in a circle around his head, “Did anypony catch the number of that bus?” Discord murmured.
He shook his head just in time to see the metal titan grab him by his legs and firmly grasp them before pulling him out of the ruble, up over his head and slamming him into the ground hard, causing a small crater. Discord yelped as he was continuously smashed over and over into the ground, all the while the machine roared loudly.
Archimedes stopped and grabbed Discord by his neck, the latter groaning in dazed surprise seemingly unharmed from the assault. With a low rumble, Archimedes slammed Discords head into the wall behind him, causing it to become embedded into it. With a roar, he ran down the length of the wall, dragging Discord along with it and creating a long indent in it where Discord’s head was still rammed into.
As he came to the end, he turned his body and threw Discord to the ground, the draconequus bouncing slightly and landing with a groan, his eyes swirling in circles and a dazed goofy expression on his face.
“Terminating…” Archimedes said with a low rumble.
Discord slowly looked up as Archimedes lifted his left arm, the hand retracting and a long pole emerged before small pylons sprouted from within the pylon that crackled with electricity. The pylon began to glow as the electricity rapidly began to charge.
From the hole in the wall, Luna and the others, who had just arrived in time to see the draconequus bounce on the ground, were teleported to the ground thanks to Twilight and Luna. Celestia, snapping out of her shock, rushed in between the two along with the others.
“Archimedes! Stop this at once!” she shouted in her Canterlot voice.
Archimedes merely kept his cold gaze locked on Discord, his pylon still charging up.
“He’s a friend, Archy!” Luna bellowed beside her sister, “Stand down!”
The others nervously looked at Archimedes who stared down at them with his red eyes. What seemed like hours passed before the pylon began to lose its electricity and retract, the hand replacing it. Archimedes's eyes turned yellow and he blinked, looking down at them.
“B-but, my love… the windows… he’s evil!” Archimedes protested, “I heard you scream and found him assaulting you!”.
Before Celestia could reply, Discord groaned as he got up and shook his head. Fluttershy and Celestia quickly rushed to his side to see if he was alright.
“Discord?! Are you alright?” Fluttershy asked.
Discord blinked up at her, but instead of answering, he grinned widely showing a missing tooth and he snapped his talons and appeared on top of Archimedes.
“Holy tartarus, Celly! Where did you get this and where can I get one?” He grinned, squealing like a little filly in excitement.
“Get off me! Demon!” Archimedes hissed and swiped at him.
Discord chuckled and teleported again before the hand could connect and appeared on Celestia’s back, making Archimedes's steam turn black again.
“U-uhm, Discord?” Fluttershy squeaked, “Could you get off the princess? You’re making Archimedes's angry…”
“Very well,” the draconequus sniffed with a fake hurt expression before standing beside them as Moon Dancer landed on Archimedes's shoulder and give his head a calming stroke.
By now, a large group of ponies, a mixture of guards, nobles and civilians had gathered, drawn by the noise. Celestia looked around at them, seeing their confused faces that were screaming for an answer and sighed. The alicorn looked over to Archimedes who was glaring at Discord, Moon trying to calm him down and Fluttershy trying to get Discord to behave.
She sighed, knowing that she was going to have a long day of explaining to do. Not to mention sorting out repairs.
“I should have stayed in bed…” she muttered.
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Looks like the robot's got some nice weaponry on him.
And, he's got the classic "Robot identifies anything touching protected target is a threat" thing going on... That's always fun!
That was wonderful! And I loved Discord's reaction to nearly getting killed. That is so him.
His angry voice in my head is that of a squad of terminators in dawn of war
Well, that was mildly amusing, and I am most pleased, well done, etc etc.
So he knows some stuff found in summer blockbusters and one especially violent anime. Very nice.
4870713
You mean-
Robot identifies anything touching protected target, that isn't already registered as friendly, is a threat
Oh I am loving this
Okey dokey lokey, logic times. Now, considering the fact that The strongest sonic boom ever recorded was 7,000 Pa (144 psf) and it did not cause injury to the researchers who were exposed to it. The boom was produced by an F-4 flying just above the speed of sound at an altitude of 100 feet (30 m), Rainbow Dash doing a Sonic Rainboom wouldn't do shit to the nobles and such, except make a loud boom. Carrying on, Rainbow Dash traveling at 1,225 KM/H and ramming into a piece of metal that didn't so much as dent on impact, wouldn't just "maybe" break her front hooves, every bone in her body would have broken on impact, considering she would have crumpled against it. A person jumping off a building isn't traveling at 1,225 KM/H and they can land on their feet, and most bones in their body are broken on impact. So, yeah. Your logic isn't working.
4871815
Logic? This is ponies, fluttershy was caught from falling from a cloud by a swarm of butterflies.
besides, that was a hundred feet, try just a few feet, it would be extremely more potent. I must also mention that going at such a speed speed would create an air current and that throwing nobles could cause damage. Though the most important factor in that situation is Magic.
And something you missed, hitting ~740 miles per hour in such a short period of time would pull enough Gs to liquefy her organs, if they weren't magic talking horses of coarse.
The laughs were had that day!
4871815
You're forgetting the time she slammed into Applejack's barn at full speed creating a Rainbow Mushroom Cloud. Or the time she was trying to get away from Pinkie only to slam the back of her head into a cliff then fall dozens of feet to land on her head again. Or the time a bolder three times her size pinned her wing to the ground and she treated the injury more like a mild sprain than a shattered wing.
Some people interpret pony physical prowess as cartoon gags that are a result of the medium and genre that have no bearing on what they're really capable of. Others consider them very much powerful creatures of magic who could easily pass as superheros on Earth. Neither interpretation is right or wrong.
Mr101 has gone for the Magical Superpowers interpretation. That's only wrong if its portrayed inconsistently within this particular story.
I thought about nothing but Big Daddy this chapter.
Hoo boy!
4870713 Sooooooo...... Big Daddy? But a robot?
Hmmm.... This IS going to fun....
Add some Sound effect when he blow up the glass and jump through it while on fire, like this *Boom* then jump *slow-mo with a transformer sound effect* that would be epic.
Well, Archy went nuts and it didn't end well for anyone.
Let the awkward explanations commence now!
That Avenger's reference :P
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4870795 Discord isn't really threatened by anything that doesn't come from the tree of harmony, so physical violence to him usually means he's successfully annoyed someone, he probably enjoys the company of anyone who tries to kill him.
4876228
4875653
Puny God...
4873632 Big Daddy AND Megaman.
Also Terminator. Sadly not robocop yet.
4871351
I hope in terms of the anime you're thinking what I'm think... cos if you did get the ref, you win an internet.
4880064
0:07-0:11
4884300 Hulk and Hellsing, respectively I believe.
4889845
2.bp.blogspot.com/-R4BFPb-qXPc/URMTzYVvbKI/AAAAAAAAGeM/5_UYTNXIv-4/s1600/you%2Bwin%2Bone%2Bfree%2Binternet%2Bcoupon.jpg
4891292 now, what to use it for?
You know what Archimedes reminds me of? This guy.
static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/7/74963/2408305-nulldc_win32_release_notrace_2013_01_02_20_36_17_10.png
Ever heard of Elemental Gimmick Gear? Loved that game.
....So he has a big daddy feature?
4870824
I think I'm going to make that canon. His normal voice is how the Space Marines speak in Dawn of War, angry Archimedes will sound like a Terminator. This pleases me.
4894400 i caught the summer blockbuster, what was the violent anime? and is this reference the abridged, OVA, or video adaptation?
I'm totally reading his lines in Sam Riegel's voice. static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/4/45192/2062833-persona4a_26.jpg
This story rocks dude.
You don't need that been in there.
grab him by his legs and firmly grasp them You just told us his legs had been grasped, so saying it again is redundant.
Also, you misspelled rubble
4871815 a human can survive hitting the ground at terminal velocity.
5079048 true, they survive it, but also immortalfox is correct, every bone in that persons body, will most liekly be broken.
5079048
Only if the body is relaxed and the person is already knocked out. The body would still suffer great injuries, though not as much than a person who was wake when he hit the ground.
He's like a Big Daddy.
It may be just me but every time Archimedes busts through a wall a little voice in the back of my head chirps 'Hey! Free door!'.
6122673 Great (and/or possibly insane) minds think alike!
6122673
I think of the Kool-aid guy busting in going "Oh yeah!"
Bro, this needs to be an OVA or something! It's too cute and too hilarious to not have something bring it to life!
6206535 I think of the Juggernaut busting his way through buildings after yelling "I'm the Juggernaut, b*tch!"
Leeeroy Jeeenkins!!!