• Member Since 8th Jul, 2013
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Discord, with the help of a pegasus, attempts to fill in a form designed by someone who never expected a near-immortal Dragonequus to try to fill it in.

A short one-shot, written for the Equestria Daily writer's training grounds.

Now with a dramatic reading by DRWolf!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 119 )

Technically, neither Celestia nor Luna would have filled out the citizenship papers. The royalty of a nation cannot also be citizens of that same nation.

:flutterrage:YOU ARE AN EVIL PERSON:flutterrage:
:pinkiehappy:I Like it:pinkiehappy:

I do not want to start a flame war but what? Looking into it at least shallowly I see that royalty can be a citizen. None of the definitions I have found forbids them in English so far to do so and while in practice they can be above the law in comparison/historically-in-practice to an average citizen they are not necessarily immune to it either. Either literally, legally or in practice (The French and Russian Revolutions (Although in both I will concede that legality during times of beheading may be a moot point; but the winner writes history (shudder:pinkiesick:).)....

As for legally even the British Monarchy officially puts her as a citizen and reading the "news" I see in Britain, at least about the royalty there that, even she is held to account for how much she heats the palace? Ref: Website of the British Monarchy. :trollestia: (Sorry, I know it is a straight forward website but the name tickles my fancy.)

Honestly even as an American I see that is a little silly but I think it illustrates my point that I am not sure there is a technicality here as the practice is not uniform. Heck even Nixon is famous for saying he is "above" the law (Like a nobleman or royal personage of some sort.) which seems incorrect to me as he is a citizen.

In any case what do you mean? Or am I just over thinking this? :rainbowhuh:

Oh yes. Otherwise this is seriously funny!:pinkiehappy: I read an HIE fic that had a human go through the same troubles but he started to lie and register himself as a Draconequus instead since that was on the form due to his DMV level of frustrations.

Ah, bureaucratic humor. Technically the best humor there is!

LooooOOOOOoooovveeee it!

At least according to the reference and guidelines of bureaucratic order #1378920386y43af-19^34. Don't even get me started on bureaucratic order #1378920386y43ab0-19^34.... Hilarious!:derpytongue2:

3865335 It's just a definition thing, a citizen, or a citizenry denotes the link between say, Donut Joe and the State (The Diarchy... Quadarchy?). In the case of say, royalty, there can be no such link because Celestia (and other royals) is the State.

In cases where the State is a Republic (ie: By the People, For The People, The State Being the People) the Prime Minister, President, Generalissimo what have you can in fact be a Citizen. As by virtue of being a public servant, he serves The People, whom is The State, Q.E.D.

Don't think too hard about it, I certainly didn't. :pinkiecrazy:


Don't think too hard about it, I certainly didn't. :pinkiecrazy:

While I will not think too much about it I still do not understand how they are not a citizen. Is there no law then that any royalty cannot cross?:applejackconfused:

3866089 Not until the Magna Carta is signed. Which prevents most of the abusive practises commonly associated to people above the law.
Prior to that, the usual setups of the so-called Feudal Contract was that the King and his Warriors protected the Peasantry who would support the King, and by extension, his warriors.

This sometimes hiccups even in our modern day and age where nations with constitutional monarchies run into quirky but rarely enforced laws... Or in this case, the complete lack of law. By English law, the King/Queen owns all the lands in Britain, while I do not pretend to understand the hows or whys, it effectively meant that if you managed to sneak past the Guards at the Royal Palace, say, through the window into the Queen's chamber, you were not committing any trespassing or even breaking and entering. Which has occurred twice to date. They managed to press charges and legally escort the man out of the building after he was caught helping himself to some of the Queen's wine collection.

It is rather simple actually. In a monarchy (or a diarchy in this specific case) citizen of the nation becomes equivalent to subject of the regent. And no one can be the subject of themself (by definition) and therefor they cannot be a citizen of the nation they rule.
Also Great Britain (and the rest of the commonwealth) is what is called a constitutional monarchy, which means that we have a constitution on which the law is based and the monarch is merely a figurehead.
The system that Equestria would use, is called absolute monarchy (well, diarchy) in which the regent(s) are not only above the law but are the law.

Q.E.D? Do I sense a mathematician?

3867032 Nope, advanced maths gives me hives. It just seemed like a nice book-end to a logical loop.

And then his scream tore a hole through reality and into the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, much to the confusion of the Saiyans.



You know, I really hadn't thought about that.

I guess it depends on exactly how the royalty in Equestria works - if the Princess is considered the personification of the State, then she can't be a citizen; whereas if the Princess is considered merely a high-ranking civil servant, and a seperate entity to the State, then she can be a citizen.

For the purposes of not going back and editing my story, I'm going to assume the second. :twilightsmile:


Ooooh, yes, I've read that one. I believe he listed his profession as hydra milking in Froggy Bottom Bog...


Glad you liked it! :twilightsmile:



If anyone's scream could do that, it would be Discord's. (What's the hyperbolic time chamber?)

And alternate dimension used for training in DragonballZ where time travels differently. In one of the episodes the exit collapses and one of the characters screams so loudly that they accidentally make a hole to escape.



Ah, thanks.

I made an account so I could like this video. Keep it up.

I still find it brilliant how he found a way to express his age in a completely unexpected manner. That's so Discord.



:yay: Yay!

Wait... video?


Yeah, that was fun. :twilightsmile:

Eheheh, okay, that's good.
The only real problem I see here is the punctuation you used in your dialogue. You used a period where sometimes a comma was necessary instead. Like, you got the capitalization right; when the thing right after the dialogue would NOT be capitalized (unless it was a name), use a comma instead of a period.
For example, this is what you did:
"I don't have any parents." said Discord.
"I don't have any parents," said Discord.

See the comma there? It's important.



Huh. That does seem to be something I do a lot.

I'll go hunt them down in the story a bit later...



Okay, I think I got them all.

Next week, Discord files his taxes!

Celestia: Um... You've got no income. You do know that filing isn't mandatory for citizens below a certain income?



But I'm sure he'll apply for a rebate, just because. Especially if it doesn't make sense.

Ha! Thanks for sending me this way, CCC. :pinkiehappy:

Fave and a thumb coming right up! :moustache:

I might have to look at a bit more of your work now... :twilightsheepish:

Don't think too hard, Discord.:trollestia:



If you put a kettle on his head before he thinks too hard, you can make a cup of tea!



*Laughs uncontrollably*

A good way to make something completely mundane hilarious.

This kind of makes me want to write a short fic of Chrysalis trying to fill them out in a universe were she turned good.

Pony, "Okay, children?

Chrysalis, "367."

Pony, "There's only two spaces..."

Chrysalis, "...What?"

Pony, "Most p-ponies don't have triple digit children!"

Entropy, "Son, how could you not think of me? I'm older than the universe!"



"And then there's three hundred and sixty-seven copies of the Dependant form to fill out - nothing much, just name, age, and education details... um, one per child... we don't actually keep that many copies of the form in the office..."

Go on, write it.

Oh Discord. You're so silly.

Bureaucracy shall pervail!




Bureaucracy always prevails. Sure, Discord could turn every form into little white rabbits, but then he won't be a citizen...




What, Discord tea?

5503804 The fic in general.



Ah, thank you for the clarification.

And the compliment. :twilightsmile:

(And, wow, you're quick to reply...)

5503821 I bet Discord has a paper for homeopathic therapy back home.

It says this

"Homeopathic Therapy
Step 1:Bang your head on this spot ((there is a circle around step 1))
Step 2:Repeat until problems gone
Step 3:Profit!

Just for nitpicking's sake, it is 'DraConequus', not 'DraGonequus'.
Other than that, nice little story, made me smile :twilightsmile:

I never thought id feel sorry for discord. This story is hilarious.



Someone who can snap their talons and turn anyone into marshmallows has different problem solving strategies...


Do you have any sort of official source for that spelling? Seriously, I had to try to guess from the way it was pronounced in the episode; I'd love to have some sort of official spelling to rely on.


Thank you! :twilightsmile:

5507877 its mostly stress relief. Replace problems with stress.

5507877 Closest to an official source I could find, supposedly comes from Lauren Faust herself.
Pretty sure 'Draconequus' is considered canon by the fanbase at large, though; it's the spelling used in transcripts on the wiki, etc.

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