Step Four: Always pay for Lunch (Even if You Can't Afford It)
“Come on, Anny, it’s time to get up!”
…No, I wanna sleep, Anny thought, ignoring the thing that was poking his side. Go away…
“Young Anny, you will get up this instant or We will push you off the bed and dump water on thee,” another voice said in an almost bored tone.
His eyes snapping open, Anny saw that Luna and Twilight were standing over him, one in a silly workout outfit and the other holding a bucket aloft in her magic.
“Art thou finally awake?” Luna asked. “You have much to do on this day.” She looked up at the bucket. “What are We going to do with this now?”
Twilight and the human watched the alicorn trot out the room, humming thoughtfully. “We could see if Shining Armor is awake…”
Twilight shook her head at the princesses’ antics before nudging her friend in concern. “Are you alright?” she asked, looking over him. “You’re not sore or anything? You made sure to stretch with the princess the other day like I told you?”
Anny snorted, rolling off the bed and fixing the sheets. “I’m fine, Twi,” he said while biting back a yawn and making his way into the bathroom. “You almost sound like your mother. Next you’ll be asking if I want any more to eat.”
The bookworm bristled at the accusation. “Excuse me if I’m worried about my friend!”
Even through the bathroom door, she heard him quietly laugh. “And it’s not because you want to see why I can’t run longer than I can or some other silly thing like that?”
Anny’s answer was silence before the little alicorn huffed.
“You should be able to run for miles, Anny,” she defended, sitting in front of the bathroom door. “There’s so many signs that show you should be able to run all day without being tired!”
She got up and began pacing, the gears working in her head. “Your running ability should outclass a pony in every way! The shock absorbing tendons, the arched feet, the huge buttocks! I honestly can’t understand it; you should be running circles around the princess and her guard!”
Anny slowly opened the door to raise an eyebrow at her. “Isn’t the princess a super-being that raises the sun every day?”
Twilight blinked. “Of course s—”
“Are the guards trained professionals; they’ve been to boot camp and stuff like that?”
“...Yeah.”
Anny nodded once and closed the door again, Twilight hearing the shower turning on. “Just explain it with magic if you can’t think of any other reason why! It always helps me.”
The bookworm snorted, sitting on her rump and crossing her forelegs. “Magic doesn’t explain
everything here, Anny…”
Her ears perked when she heard a girly shriek.
“What in the hay, Luna?!”
“We told you that we would dump this bucket on your head if you didn’t awaken, Young Prince.”
“I was getting up!”
“…We didn’t wish for a perfectly good bucket of water to go waste.”
$@##@$
“—And one and two and three and four, come on everypony, get those hooves in the air and stretch!”
Shining groaned as he raised his hooves into the air, his spine popping from the yoga position, as he looked around at his little group, an amused smile on his face.
His sister was in her workout gear, sweat streaming down her purple face as she tried her best to imitate a horseshoe, her hooves kicking in the air in determination. His wife, a regular patron of places like this, was balancing on a hind leg while the back of her head was touching her back.
The Prince almost flinched when he saw his wife. Sweet Celestia, that looks like it hurts, he thought, trying to keep his position.
“Twilight,” he called from across the room. “Are you alright there?”
Twilight gritted her teeth. “I’m… fine…”
“Are you sure? You do know this is the advanced yoga instructor, right?”
“…Yes….”
“You could go over there with Princess Celestia and Anny,” he said helpfully, his gaze going over to the big alicorn and human, both of them going through their positions calmly.
Twilight just gritted her teeth harder, struggling to bend her hoof more. “I… can… do… this…”
Pop!
The yoga instructor smiled as the bookworm hit her mat while a pained squeak, the stallion almost clapping his hooves together. “Good work girls! Keep it up!”
Shining looked at him in astonishment. “How was that good work?!”
“If you’re not dislocating something you’re not doing it right, my Prince!”
In the other part of the yoga studio
Celestia sighed as she slowly rose to her hind legs and shifted her body, bending her knees slightly to keep balance as Anny and the instructor did the same.
“Now, let’s go from Prayer Twist to the tree,” the instructor calmly said, the mare smiling at the two. “Good, good, remember to keep that leg strong and keep your balance centered.”
This is truly relaxing, Celestia thought, closing her eyes.
“Shining, pop it back in, pop it back in!”
“I’m trying! If you’d hold still for five seconds—“
Snap!
“OW!”
Truly, truly relaxing…
The alicorn was interrupted from her little search for enlightenment by Anny quietly groaning.
“This is wayyy harder than it looks,” he said to her quietly.
She giggled, shifting to the Royal Dancer pose. “You’re doing far better than me, Anny,” she complimented, using a wing to keep herself from falling over—again—while the human shrugged.
“It’s not really hard,” he told her. “What makes it hard is doing so much of it.” The two got into Warrior’s Stance. “What’s weird is how you guys can do this without breaking your spines.”
“Shiny, can you help me for a second please?”
“…Cadence…how did you get like that?”
“I don’t know, but could you help me please? I can’t feel my legs…”
The three ignored the little outburst from the other side of the room while the instructor slowly got back onto all fours. “Annnnd done,” she said, giving the two a big smile. “That was very good you two, I’d—”
Celestia yelped when she felt her weight shift violently, the alicorn’s wings flapping in panic as she slowly started to fall. “Oh horsea —”
To her relief, she felt hands under her barrel and around her neck, Anny rushing over to her; all but picking her up and carefully placing her back on her hooves.
“Are you okay, Celestia?” the human asked with concern while the alicorn quietly laughed.
“I am, thanks to my knight in shining armor swooping in to save me again,” she said, giving him a friendly nuzzle. “Thank you, Anny. If it wasn’t for you I’d be one big bruise today.”
Fighting a blush, Anny looked away from the Princess as the yoga instructor made her way toward where Shining and the gang were trying to stem some of the chaos.
“I just leaned you the other way a couple of times,” Anny muttered while the princess gave him a nudge.
“Well, thank you anyway,” she said sweetly before looking over toward her ex-student and cringing. “Oh, that looks unpleasant….”
The human nodded, growing slightly green. “Why is Princess Cadence in a ball like that?”
“I don’t know…”
The two looked at each other for a second before the sound of popping made their spines shiver.
“Maybe we should wait for them outside,” Anny suggested.
Pop!
Cringing, Celestia nodded. “We can go out for some lunch while they sort this out,” she said, before calling to Shining, who was popping his wife’s legs back into place. “Shining Armor, Anny and I are going out to lunch, alright?”
The stallion nodded. “Alright *snap* Princess, we’ll catch up with you *pop* in a little bit!... Probably!”
Not able to stand it anymore, Anny and Celestia ran out the door, while Shining looked at his sister and his wife in irritation.
“You really had to start with the advanced version first, didn’t you?”
Twilight ignored her brother, looking at Cadence as the pink alicorn just wiggled around a little bit before getting back into position.
“Cadence,” she said, nursing her shoulder. “How can you still move?”
Getting into Triple Prone Cobra, the princess of love looked at her sister-in-law with a little smile. “Lots and lots of practice, Twilight.”
Pop!
“Owowowo! I felt that one!”
…
All of his life, Anny always felt uncomfortable whenever other people paid for his meals. To him, you looked like a jerk whenever someone picked up your tab. If anything, you should be paying for the person that you were eating with, especially if that person was a women or a good friend. It wasn’t a moral thing, or because he wanted to brown nose, it was just something beat into him as a kid.
Which was why he and Celestia were having an argument on who was paying as a waiter brought them their food.
“Please, Princess,” the human all but begged, sipping his sweet tea. “Just let me pay for this.”
The princess shook her head, almost glaring at him before looking down at her salad with contempt. “I have to insist that I pay for this, Anateus.”
“I’m not going to let you pay for this.”
“Oh, but you will, my little human.”
“I will take the check off you as soon as it comes.”
The alicorn snorted in amusement and irritation. “Anny, I will be paying for this lunch even if I have to throw you in the dungeons.”
Anny opened his mouth and immediately closed it when the princess raised an eyebrow before sipping his tea.
“… You wouldn’t do that.”
Celestia leaned over the table toward him, a small, devious smile on her face. “Sergeant?”
“Yes ma’am?” Anny struggled not to yelp when Gleaming Shield materialized behind him.
“If I do not pay for this lunch, or Anny tries to take the check off me, please apprehend him.”
The guard raised an eyebrow. “How much force is allowed, Highness?”
Inspecting a piece of chopped tomato before popping it into her mouth, the princess hummed thoughtfully. “As much as you feel the need to use, Sergeant.”
Anny grumbled to himself as the guardspony saluted. Anny picked up his sandwich and taking a huge bite out of it. “…Cheater,” he said after swallowing.
He was answered with an elegant laugh. “A princess does not cheat, young Antaeus,” Celestia said sagely. “She merely does not play fair.”
That’s the same thing… the human thought to himself while the two in relative silence, which brought along a terrible thought. What am I going to talk to her about?!
Don’t get him wrong, Anny had been tutored for days by Cadence, Twilight, and Luna on the white alicorn’s likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams. They even made him learn the recipe of her favorite cake by heart, so he probably could've talked until the cows came home about something.
But all of the vast—and kind of creepy—knowledge was gone as he watched her eat her salad, but it was replaced with something better, a plan of sorts. So, like all first dates that he had been on—which was one blind date set up by his friends that went horribly, horribly wrong-- Anny just went with it.
“So, Celestia,” he said as calmly as he could, even leaning an elbow on the table to show the maximum levels of calm and collectedness as another hand started to snake forward. “How has the whole princess thing been going lately?”
Celestia couldn’t help but smile as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. Oh, the dear thinks I’m just getting bored and is trying to entertain me…
“It has been fine, Anny,” she said. “Thank you for as—” She froze when she watched Anny switch their plates, the princess getting half of a sandwich and a plateful of fries and Anny getting half of a salad.
For the first time in a long, long time princess couldn’t help but whimper as the salty scent of the fries hit her nose. “A-Anny what are y-you—”
Picking up a fork, the human started eating the salad, trying not to throw up as he gave her a little shrug. “The two of us have been working our butts off so I thought you’d like to get something other than this,” he tapped his new plate with a thumb. “Besides, I can’t stand seeing how sad you looked when you were eating that.”
God this is awful, she couldn’t even put dressing on this?! Women… Anny thought as he tried to shove as much of the leafy awfulness into his mouth as quickly as possible so he wouldn’t have to prolong eating it, not noticing that there were practically tears of joy in Celestia’s eyes.
He was just trying to distract me so he could take my food, she thought before collecting herself. Nono, I should stick to my diet… She ignored her growling stomach as she looked down at the food.
“Anny, I have to insist—” she stopped when he showed her his plate, which was empty, while he looked proudly over at her.
“Now you’re gonna have to eat it!” he said in triumph, his smile growing when he saw her drooling.
Once again, the princess tried to rally herself. “Anny, this is sweet but I really can’t eat this.”
Anny raised an eyebrow. “I promise I wouldn’t tell anyone if you eat it, Princess.” He waved a hand dismissively. “Quit trying to wiggle out of this and just eat it.”
The two watched as their waitress came over with a happy smile on her face. “Would either of you like to try any of our desserts?”
Anny cleared his throat and said, “Um, actually, do you have cake?” He ignored Celestia, who was practically sweating.
The little mare nodded, bringing out a notepad with a spell. “Yes we do! We have chocolate, vanilla, velvet, and,” she leaned in. “‘Death by Chocolate.’”
Anny hummed theatrically. “Death by Chocolate? What’s that?”
“Well, Sir, the Death by Chocolate is a piece of double chocolate cake with chocolate icing that’s sprinkled with shaved chocolate and it comes with rocky-road ice cream.”
The human gave her a great, big smile. “Well, could I get one of those?”
“Of course, Sir!” the waitress said happily, turning to leave as Celestia looked at him desperately.
“A-Anny, I-I can’t—Om nom nom nom!” Not able to contain herself any longer, the princess dove into her food with the ferocity of a Manticore-- attracting quite a few concerned and amused stares-- as Anny looked on.
Oh by the sun! she thought as she stuffed fries down her gullet in an unprincess-like fashion. These are amazing!
The cheese sandwich was gone in three bites, and the fries, though the plate had been filled to the brim with them, didn’t look like they were going to last much longer as bits of food and tea flew everywhere, along with the many pictures that were being taken by the ponies surrounding them.
Not that that mattered to the princess. For those few minutes, the alicorn was not Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria and Lady of the Sun. No, her’s was a simpler and nobler title; she was Celestia, Queen of empty calories and fats, of poor manners and slobbishness, and of cake and ice cream.
And it was glorious.
Though Celestia didn’t notice, Anny had ordered three more platefuls of fries and another death by ice cream for the poor, hungry princess, with a big smile on his face.
“Eat up, Princess,” he said, taking a sip of his soda and wiping a bit of half-chewed Prench-fry off his face. “You deserve it…”
Awkwardly, the waiting staff watched in horror as their princess all but ruined the table she was sitting at, which was made worse when all of the customers slowly and carefully started to back away from the ravenous alicorn.
What were they going to do? They couldn’t let the princess do this, it was disgusting and rather off-putting, but how were they going to tell the ruler of the sun that she had to leave without getting banished?
Anny saved them by flagging one of them down, the human leaning toward the waitress’s ear.
“Ma’am,” he whispered, “how much would it cost to buy out this whole part of the restaurant?”
The mare looked at him in shock. “Um, I don’t know… We usually don’t do that kind of thing…”
The human nodded, reaching into his pocket to pull out a big bag of bits, a month's worth of his pay, and handing it to her. “Well, Sweetheart, since this is a Princess—whose appearance here is really going to keep this place busy for a while—and she’s looking a little silly at the moment, how about you take this hundred bits and just close this place for the day?”
The mare’s ears flattened against her skull as she looked worryingly around, unsure what to do. “Um—“
Anny sighed. “I’ll even clean up the place, out here, in the kitchens, the whole shebang.”
The mare’s eyes lit up, along with half of the staff—who were kind of eavesdropping on the conversation.
“I’ll ask my manager, sir, and see what he thinks,” she said, turning around before Anny stopped her.
“Wait, could you get us some more to eat?” Anny’s eye twitched as half of a sandwich hit him in the face. “Like a lot more to eat?”
Seven milkshakes, fifteen plates of fries, too much cake and ice cream, and ten various types of sandwiches later….
“—and make sure that the fryer is scrubbed thoroughly and you’ll be done,” the manager said to a resigned Anny as he hoofed him the keys.
“And I just bring these to you tomorrow?” he asked, looking around the filthy kitchen. Oh boy… I’m gonna be here all night…
The stallion nodded as he adjusted his tie. “Yep, oh and if you do a good job I might even think about hiring you!” He flashed the human a smile that wasn’t returned.
“Yay me…” Anny muttered as the two made their way out of the kitchen.
“So, Mr. Human—“
“Just Anny please.”
“—Anny, I have to ask, why did you do it?”
The manager was given a confused look.
“What do ya mean?”
The stallion waved his hoof around. “You know, this. Arguing with me to close my store, cleaning our kitchen for nothing—“
“It looks like you guys haven’t cleaned that place for weeks,” Anny interrupted, grumbling. “You shouldn’t have an A for your food service hickey…”
“—you know that the Princess doesn’t take suitors, right?”
Anny raised an eyebrow. “Why does that matter?”
The manager blinked in confusion as the human continued, “This was just because I thought she deserved a little cheating day from her diet.”
The two turned the corner to see the ground zero of the battlefield, the princess in the center with a bulging stomach and the biggest grin on her face that Anny had ever seen.
The two looked at each other and back at the scene, the manager snorting. “A little cheat day, huh?”
Anny leaned forward and grabbed a broken chair, which appeared to have a number of bite marks all over it.
“…We’ll just have to do a few more crunches than usual for the next couple of days and she’ll be fine.”
The stallion shrugged, making his way to the door. “Whatever you say, monkey guy.” After giving the silly, stuffed princess a respectful bow, he opened the front door. “Just remember, this needs to be cleaned up by five tomorrow!”
Yeah, you keep telling me, Anny sourly thought as he made his way to Celestia, gently patting her on the stomach. “Celestia, are you alright?”
The alicorn’s eyes slowly focused on him before she groaned miserably. “Anny, is that you?”
The human leaned closer toward her. “Yeah, it’s me, are you alright?”
She groaned again, her hooves going to her stomach.
“I think I ate a little too much,” she sheepishly admitted.
“You’re not going to throw up or anything, are you?” Anny asked with concern, getting a shake of the head from Celestia.
“No, I believe I will be alright,” she said, her belly already shrinking. “My metabolism works quickly, Anny. I’ll have all of this digested in an hour or three.” She tried to rise from her seat and discovered, to her embarrassment, that she couldn’t get up. “…Though it appears that I may need a little help getting home…”
Is she?...
“Princess,” Anny awkwardly said as she looked hopefully up at him. “Do you want me to carry you?”
The alicorn coughed, refusing to look at him. “I would appreciate it, Anny,” she said diplomatically, though there was a hint of pink on her cheeks.
“I would have a chariot brought here but I don’t think my sister will let me live this down if she found out, and teleporting from here to the castle might be too difficult in my… condition…”
His cheeks glowing, Anny leaned back down and wrapped a hand around her back and rump and lifted her off the chair, trying not to drop her as his eyes widened in surprise. “She’s REALLY heavy now he thought to himself before gving Celestia a half-smile.
“Alright,” he said as her horn glowed. “But I don’t know how I’m going to get you up there without anyone seeing…”
The alicorn laughed softly, placing her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes as he slowly carried her out of the building. “Don’t worry about that, Anny, my little ponies will just see you carrying a small white mare.” She smiled up at him. “I’m sure they won’t find the sight odd.”
“He is correct, Anatues,” Anny jumped this time when the guard once again just materialized at his side. “My lady is hidden at the moment; you can only see her as she is because you are so close.”
Anny’s eyes widened when the guard pointed this out, his blush creeping past his neck as she felt the softness of Celestia’s coat rub against his bare skin. She smells really nice…
The alicorn hummed quietly as he lead her through the streets, a feeling of guilt creeping up on her. “Anny, I’m sorry for this,” she said quietly, giving his neck a gentle nuzzle. “I got carried away and you have to deal with the backlash.”
He just patted her on the back soothingly. “Aw, come on, you didn’t do anything wrong!”
Her ears pinned themselves against her head in shame. “A princess is supposed to have self-control, Antaeus, and what I did in there was not self-control.”
“I am the one that practically made you eat all of that,” the human pointed out. “So none of that negative-Nancy nonsense, Princess; you carried me so I have no problem carrying you. “
Celestia couldn’t help but grin a little at that as she gave him another nuzzle. “My little ponies could learn something from you, Anny,” she whispered.
Anny reached up a hand to scratch her ear. “Where do you think I learned it?”
The two were quiet after that, the princess now happily humming with each step as the castle came within sight. What a sweetheart, she thought with a smile. He’ll make a mare happy one day…
Gleaming Shield cleared his throat. “Anny, we need to go to the southern entrance…Princess Luna may be stalking around, and, if I’m not mistaken, she’ll be able to see through the Princesses’ illusion.”
“Yes sir,” he muttered, earning a smile from the princess.
“Just Sergeant will do, Anny.”
“Is there really a difference?”
The guard nodded solemnly. “Or course there is, now please get behind me so I can get us through the guards.”
After a brief explanation/lie, the three were allowed in, Anny rushing the princess into her room as quickly as he could without getting her sick.
“Um, Princess, which one is your room?” he asked as he walked through the labyrinth of corridors, all of the doors a uniform grey color.
The princess opened an eye and pointed a hoof to a door in front of him. “Right there, Anny dear,” she looked at him. “Have I really never invited you into my chambers?”
“Not that I remember, no,” Anny said as he carefully opened her bedroom door and ushered her in, stopping for a second to look around.
Boy is this room HUGE!...And purple…
Celestia smiled when she saw his wide eyes. “Yes, Anny, I will admit that it is a bit...much.”
“Why is there three bathrooms?... And is that a little kitchen?” Shaking his head, Anny made his way over to the princesses’ giant bean-bag chair and sat her down.
She smiled sweetly up at him. “Thank you, Antaeus, you really are a gentlecolt.”
The human rubbed the back of his head bashfully. “It’s really nothing, Princess.”
Beckoning him to lean down, Celestia leaned up and wrapped her friend in a wing hug. “Well, it meant something to me,” she whispered quietly.
Anny didn’t even hear her, experiencing his first proper wing hug in all of its glory. The alicorn’s wings, softer than anything that he had ever felt, surrounded him in a cocoon of warmth, safety, and comfort.
Brought to tears, the human wrapped his arms around Celestia’s neck, earning a soft coo from her as the two held the hug for what seemed like hours, before, with regret—he did still had to clean a restaurant after all—Anny let her go.
“Anny, would you like to stay for tea?” Celestia asked with that big, beautiful smile on her face, her purple eyes practically glowing.
Wiping a stray tear from his eye, Anny regretfully shook his head. “I’m sorry, Princess—”
“Celestia.”
“—Celestia. I’d love to, but I have a lot of stuff to do…”
The alicorn frowned, trying to keep the disappointment off her face. “Oh, wel—”
“I’d love to come another time though.”
The smile that she gave him as he said his goodbye made his day, a big smile on his face as he opened her door.
To see Gleaming Shield looking up at him emotionlessly.
The guard couldn’t help but smile as the human jumped in fright, quickly closing the door behind him before turning back and glaring at the aging stallion.
“Do you really have to do that all the time?!”
The Sergeant raised an eyebrow, nudging his head and making his way down the hall, forcing Anny to follow him.
“Antaeus,” he said after staying silent for a few moments. “Thank you for helping the princess to her room.”
Anny waved the thank you off. “It’s really no big deal.”
Shield raised an eyebrow but didn’t say a thing as the two made their way out of the castle and through a part of the city that Anny wasn’t familiar with, which made him slightly nervous.
“Um, Sir, where are we—”
“You’ll find out when we get there,” the Sergeant interrupted, still calmly and leisurely walking down the road.
Oh…This is just like those movies! Anny thought in panic as he looked around for a way to escape. He’s going to take me behind an alley and beat me with a fish!... That’s what happens in those movies?... Right?
“Antaeus, we're here,” Shield calmly said, looking over his shoulder to see Anny’s panicked face.
“A-And why are we going i-into an abandoned w-warehouse?”
The guard just responded with a head nudged while he opened the door and stepped into the darkness. “Come on, Anny, let’s just get this over with.”
Well, time to run aw—before he could so much as yelp, he was pulled into the warehouse by an unseen force, his senses overwhelmed with darkness before someone turned on the light.
“C-can s-someone t-turn o-on a light p-please?” Anny begged, rooted to the ground in fear.
Honestly, Anny preferred the darkness to what was waiting for him.
As soon as the lights were on and his eyes adjusted to the harsh light, Anny was looking right at what appeared to be the entirety of day guard, each of the stallions glaring at the human as the doors behind him were closed.
Anny squeaked, trying to look around for a way out while Gleaming Shield once again appeared in front of him.
“Antaeus, we of the day guard have protected the royal highness for over two thousand years,” the guard said flatly while his fellow guards nodded in agreement. “Morning, night, and evening we keep her safe, and because of this many of us like to think the princess as our child, a mare that all of us need to keep safe and happy.”
Anny was forcibly sat down in a chair as Shield started to pace in front of him. “So, over the years, it has been a secret task of the guard to keep those that would use our princess for their benefit from getting to her.”
A particularly burly stallion cracked his neck. The human was one step away from making a mess in his pants.
Shield all but pressed his muzzle against Anny’s nose while he looked into his eyes. “And we are VERY good at our job.”
The guard stallion couldn’t help but take a step back when the human finally realized what they were insinuating, the edges of his vision going red with rage. “I’d never do that to the princess!” he snapped, the guards looking at each other in mild concern. “This isn’t about money, or power, or anything like that!”
Anny looked at his hands, the princess’s smile flashing in his mind. “I… really don’t know what the feeling is…” he admitted to all of them, his cheeks slightly pink. “But I know that I don’t want it to go away, and I want her to feel what I feel!”
Rising to his feet, he closed his fist, the knuckles cracking as he looked at each of them in determination. “And I’m not going to let a bunch of bullies get in the way of that!” Despite having no knowledge of fighting whatsoever, he got into a little fighting stance.
“And if you guys have a p-problem with that, then I guess we have a problem, h- huh?”
I’m gonna get wrecked so hard…
The stallions looked at him, then at each other, the room deadly silent before, to his surprise, they all started stomping their hooves in celebration.
The Sergeant smiled up at the confused man, patting his side. “Well done, Antaeus,” he said before every stallion in the place stopped and saluted. “You’ve passed.”
“W-What?”
The still beaming Sergeant sat down. “Like I said before, Anny, we try our best to keep most of the ponies that are trying to be the apple of Princess Celestia’s eye, so we have this little show of force,” he swept a hoof around the room. “To scare off the shallow ones.”
“And you just showed us that you aren’t one of the shallow ones,” a stallion said from the crowd, the rest of them nodding in agreement.
“So?” a confused Anny said, still lost as to what was going on and why he wasn’t being beaten.
“So, you have our blessing to court the princess.” The guard saluted again. “And you have our help, if you wish, though it will have to be done in secret.”
Anny couldn’t help but smile at the group, before looking dejectedly back at the door. “Thanks guys; that means a lot to me! ... But right now I have to go back to the restaurant.” He could practically feel his back aching already. “I have some cleaning to do…”
Gleaming Shield raised an eyebrow before pointing at a group of stallions. “You, you, and you, go help him clean up, the rest of you, return to the castle with me.”
Before he could argue, a trio of Pegasi threw him on one of their backs before they galloped out of the building while Gleaming Shield pulled out a bubble-blower, a big smile on his face.
“You work hard, boy,” he muttered. “Because even with our support she probably wouldn’t take you.”
He filled his makeshift pipe with a small dollop of bubbles and blew. “You try real hard, real, real hard.”
I see your well thought out, reasonable explanations, and give you horses doing yoga 
Oh, and I lied about the banana chapter(sorry) but it's coming next time.
Comment, point out errors(I swear I'm trying to make sure you don't see as many), etc
Edit: alrighty, I think I got all of the weird name variations done.
Its ANTAEUS Antaeus Da@#it!
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Awesome-sauce.
Horse yoga.
Yeah, I laughed pretty damn hard.
God, I'm just loving this story more and more.
The scene with the guards... I dunno, it felt a bit rushed. A bit too much "tell" and not enough "show".
But I gotta say it was SO worth it for the yoga scene. Hilarious!
interesting
“A princess does not cheat, young Anatues,” Celestia said sagely. “She merely does not play fair.”
I loved that line.
Horse yoga and the sit down with the entire guard...
You have earned to very long and very loud laughs from myself.
A smile through-out with a few laughs and chuckles sprinkled in another great chapter mate keep 'em coming
Oh Twilight, Trying to be a better pony when it comes to trying too hard.
.
oh well. GO ANATUES
Ow, that show of Chinese self-torture made me wince more than just a few times. Ow.
And this chapter will be a lot better when you replace all instances of "Anatues" with the human's real name, "Antaeus". Believe me, I counted at least six of them.
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.tvtropes.org%2Fpmwiki%2Fpub%2Fimages%2Fsimpsonsbubblepipe0_4581.JPG&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Ftvtropes.org%2Fpmwiki%2Fpmwiki.php%2FMain%2FBubblePipe&h=316&w=298&tbnid=B5pU3eaXepPOQM%3A&zoom=1&docid=yXdRvxGY5zxvbM&ei=ZOc5U5H8KYjDqgHFm4DYDw&tbm=isch&client=firefox-a&ved=0CK8BEIQcMBQ&iact=rc&dur=2433&page=2&start=20&ndsp=28&biw=1525&bih=719
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Ffc00.deviantart.net%2Ffs70%2Ff%2F2012%2F023%2F9%2Fe%2Fbubble_pipe_by_saucepear-d4nfv4x.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fsaucepear.deviantart.com%2Fart%2FBubble-Pipe-281236065&h=720&w=720&tbnid=YWVXWnZ1YY8gxM%3A&zoom=1&docid=QZBvZcB-F3_49M&ei=ZOc5U5H8KYjDqgHFm4DYDw&tbm=isch&client=firefox-a&ved=0CLIBEIQcMBU&iact=rc&dur=996&page=2&start=20&ndsp=28&biw=1525&bih=719
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fybertech.com%2F4get%2F13338550462842.gif&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fybertech.com%2F4get%2Findex.cgi%3Fp%3D426&h=357&w=431&tbnid=JB1aubbiUuSboM%3A&zoom=1&docid=VF44X3hk23DOFM&ei=ruc5U7CNJ4TYqQGGyYGoBw&tbm=isch&client=firefox-a&ved=0CFUQhBwwAA&iact=rc&dur=341&page=1&start=0&ndsp=18&biw=1525&bih=719
All of my yes. You win the internet.
Soooo... is his name Antaeus, or Anatues?
4163435
...I don't even know anymore...
The food orgy scene was great, well done!
Still nice story.
I was really thinking that Anny would have caught Twilight when she mentioned 'Huge buttocks'. If I wear him I would have slowly looked at her, raised an eyebrow and said "And how would you know I had a huge buttocks?" or something like that.
I know its a ship between Anny and Celestia but it would have been pretty funny to see Twilight sweat.
4163160 BANANA!
Oh boy.
Now it's getting interesting!
Höhöhöhö, I can't wait!
4163435
That's my question. I see it multiple ways in the chapter, even with an occasional 'Anateus' as well.
lol i love this story, its just so ridiculous
4163464 Did you brain-fart all over this chapter?
So.....I'm confused. Is his name "Antaeus" or "Anatues"? In the other chapters, it's "Antaeus", but in this one, it's "Anatues".
This food orgy scene was foreshadowing. I agree with Khorne...
banana chapter.
banana.
chapter.
I cannot pronouce his name..> So when it shows up I just call him Anny and move along.. >.> Does that make me a bad lifeform?
And also... I love this so much..> its adorable!
awww yeah the solar guard is awesome.
You used the name Anatues in the entire chapter instead of Antaeus.
4163160
μπανάνα!
バナナ!
plátano!
موز!
바나나!
香蕉!
for anyone who doesnt know how to say his name it sound something like "an-tay-us"
I enjoyed that yoga scene. And the gorging on food. And the sit down with the guards. I think that covers just about everything. If there's something I missed, I liked that too. I can't wait for the next one.
"Om-nom-nom-nom"?
...YES! GET INTOUCH WHITH YOUR INNER CHO'GATH!
4164199
Actually, the name is right. the first chapter's name is different because it was wrong/changed.
Edit:
Or not.
I have no clue anymore.
I. Want. That. Cake!
Since his name is Antaeus you should allude to the fact that he's much stronger than any Earth pony.
Fair enough.
GODDAMNIT STOP BREAKING THE DRESS CODE
4163798
His name goes a little like this...
Ann - tay - us
4166179 Oooh... Okay.. Thanks... I guess I was getting it right then LOL... thats what I called him before I went back to calling him Anny XD... I just didn't know...
4167082
No worries lol I've done far more reading of fantasy stories than any regular person should, so I have a fairly large repertoire of interesting information ranging from pronouncing strange names to knowing the complete magic/ability rules of many a different world lol
4167455 LOL impressive!
It is a well-known fact that Equestrian pony bones are made of rubber and springs.
Oh man, I remember reading the first chapter months ago, and then forgetting about watching it; glad to see it's still alive.
Some minor punctuation mistakes i believe, bout other than that its a very entertaining read.
If that helps people run better, I'm gonna laugh.
Either way, good chapter! It's coming at a good pace, perhaps a bit fast, but nothing major.
I really don't much to say about it, honestly...
Either Celestia is completely oblivious, or every stallion that tries is ensnared in her dreaded "friend zone".
I bloody love this story, keep up the amazing work. It's hilarious and awesome.
4172411
That, or they were all deemed 'shallow' suitors, and thus put in 'shallow' graves! Fitting I must say!
Fun little chapter! Nice to see Anny gaining allies that are a little bit more sane than Twilight and her family...ouch.
4163484 Actually, humans have big glutes compared to most other animals, because of our bipede nature.
nice to see this story is still alive
Okay that was a great chapter, so many different things that are happening and it's great that the guy tried to defend himself from those guards. I think he may have a shot after all. ^^
Holy crap yes! I've finally found a fic where someone reacts to that stupid cliché in a way that makes sense! Honestly, is it really so hard to find a fic where the person on the receiving end of this cliché points out how insulting it is to pretty much be accused of not having their significant other's interest at heart? Most of the time they never even care.
"Now, she and Spike..."
I can't believe I didn't notice until now.