Step Three: Get Her to Notice You ( Or, hurting yourself is okay if girls are watching)
“Anny! We, the people of Candyland, are forever in your debt!” The candy king roared over his various subject’s cheering, Anny taking the crown and giant spoon that he was handed with all of the grace he could muster. “Now, I give you our greatest treasure as reward for your heroic efforts!”
Clapping his lollypop hands together, the Candy king, Anny, and the crowd of candy people watched as two burly candy men brought out a massive chest, placing it in front of the giddy human who looked over at the king in awe. “Is this what I think it is, Candy King?”
The candy man answered him with a grin. “Why don’t you see for yourself, Anny?”
Carefully putting his spoon down and rubbing his hands together, Anny opened the chest slowly, almost reverently, shielding his eyes for a few moments as he gazed upon the most holy of holies.
“Deep fried ice cream? Sweet!” Bending down to snatch up his spoon, Anny let out a roar of happiness, bringing down the spoon and scooping the fattening food, bringing it to his mouth…
Only for Twilight, who was getting tired/worried that he had been unconscious for so long, dumped a bucket of ice-cold water onto his poor, unsuspecting body, which catapulted Anny back to the land of the living. Figuratively and literally.
Falling out of the bed with a yelp and more than a little bit of sputtering, the soaking wet and reasonably upset human yelled, “Who, what, where?” His gaze fell upon a concerned yet relieved-looking Twilight, Anny narrowing his eyes at her in anger and slight confusion.
“It worked!” she said, the purple alicorn rolling her eyes when she saw his glare. “You were having the ice cream dream again, weren’t you?”
“You know I was! Why the heck did you dump that water on me?”
Twilight looked a bit guilty as Anny’s gaze bore into her soul. “I was trying to make sure that we didn’t need to take you to the hospital since you’ve been out for almost a whole day!” the alicorn said, trying to defend herself.
Anny was about to say more when Princess Luna poked her head through the doorway. “Is the young human alive, dear Twili— Oh, We see that thou were not slain by our niece’s excessive hugging, young Anny!”
The human gave the princess of the night a weak smile before looking around the room. “Where am I?” He looked down, frowning at what he saw. “And why am I wearing a diaper?!”
“Thou art in Velvet Sparkle’s abode and the mare of the house insisted that thee wear that whilst recuperating,” Luna said helpfully before walking back out into the hallway. “Now make haste friends! The pancakes are almost finished!”
Now confused, Anny looked back at Twilight while he slowly rose from the ground. “Twilight, why is Princess Luna here?”
Smiling now that it was clear that the human wasn’t mad--at least not that mad-- about his rude awakening, the alicorn answered, “Oh, her, Cadence, and Shining are here too. All of us have been getting everything ready for ‘Operation Monkey See, Monkey Get’!”
“Oh, that makes sense, I guess,” Anny said, looking through the rooms various drawers, trying to find his cloths. “So how’s it been going?...Wait, why did you have to call it that?! You know I’m not a monkey!”
The alicorn rose up on her hind legs to bop Anny on the nose. “Whatever you say, Anny,” she said, turning around and leaving the room. “Hurry up and get dressed, we have a lot of work to do today!”
Closing the bedroom door—his bedroom door now, if Anny thought about it—the human mumbled. “I’m not a monkey…”
A few minutes later…
“Oh Cadence, Honey, you’re such a good eater!”
Princess Cadence looked up at her mother-in-law with a smile while Velvet hoofed her another plateful of pancakes. “Well, you’re just such a good baker, Mom!”
The older mare beamed, making her way over to Luna, who had already cleared her third plate. “Princess Luna, sweetie, do you want a few more pancakes?”
Twilight and Shining Armor could only watch in embarrassment, and horror, as the Princess of the Night raised a hoof in the air. “We thank thee, Velvet Sparkle; we will take all of your pancakes!”
“Here you go dear.”
“Huzzah! The pancakes have been doubled!”
Twilight looked at Anny, Cadence, and Luna for a few moments before her eyes widened in horror. “Oh sweet Celestia… There’s three of them,” she turned to look at her brother. “BBBFF, I’m scared.”
Night Light looked up from his paper to look at his children before shrugging. “You’ll get used to it, kids.”
Shining sipped his coffee as he watched his wife and Anny getting belly rubs by his mother, Velvet giggling with them. “I really hope not dad…”
Anny, taking another bite out of his pancake looked up at Twilight. “So, Twi, what’s going to be happening today?”
The mare blinked, mumbling to herself for a few seconds before she teleported a bundle of papers into Anny’s lap. “First we need you to memorize that, then we’ll get to the hard stuff!”
Anny blinked at the smiling alicorn before he gingerly thumbed through the papers. “And what is all of this?”
Cadence giggled, giving the human a big smile. “Just a few things that the three of us thought would get you ready for Aunty Celestia!”
Luna nodded. “Yes, within those pages are the answers that will help thee court our sister,” the elder alicorn said before taking a big swig of her juice.
The human took one of the papers and read a few lines out loud. “‘Are you made out of cake? Because you sure look sweet.’”
Twilight smiled. “They’re pickup lines, Anny! That one’s mine!”
“‘Were you born in a bakery? Cause you sure do have some nice buns.’”
Cadence smiled. “That one’s mine; Shiny used it on me when the two of us were dating.” She looked at the now red stallion with warmth. “He was such a romantic…”
Anny found one of the mares pickup lines that made him look at the three in mild alarm. “‘Do you have a filly-friend? Well, you do now’... What?”
It was Velvet’s turn to smile. “That one was mine, dear!”
Anny looked at the four mares before nodding slowly. “Alright… and you’re all sure that these will work?”
They all nodded.
“Yep.”
“Absolutely.”
“Forsooth.”
“It worked for me, Honey.”
Still nodding but now with a small smile on his face, Anny got out of his chair. “Alright that’s great, but before I look at all of this stuff I’m going to go for a quick jog around the town.”
Twilight frowned as Anny pulled out a headband and put it on. “Anny, what did I tell you about buying those headbands from the flower sisters?”
Anny stiffened. “But they’re supposed to help you run better and longer!”
The purple alicorn facehoofed. “Anny, just because something has positive elements and a bunch of mares tell you that it works doesn’t mean that it works.”
Anny shrugged, looking for his running shoes. “Whatever you say, Twilight, but when you’re running for your life and you’re getting tired you’ll be wishing that you had one of these.”
…
It was a little known fact that Ponyville, though one of the smaller towns in Equestria, had some of the fittest mares and stallions in the country. It’s a little known fact because, due to a certain purple bookworm coming into the town and causing a whole mess of havoc, it had only happened very recently.
Once the citizens of Ponyville were just normal, hard-ish working mares and stallions that lived in a quiet, but comfortable town, but now the citizens of Ponyville are normal, hard-ish working mares and stallions who’ve had to learn to excel in running away from various dangerous, world-ending things.
In the spirit of evolution, when faced with these things, the town adapted. Where once there was a sofa store there was now a gym, with a fruit smoothie place right next to it. Where once there was maybe one or two stallions running after work there was now running groups that ran at certain times so they wouldn’t crowd the streets with sweaty, panting ponies.
Antaeus, a rather soft person before living in Ponyville, had also adapted quickly, having to run away from an angry chocolate raincloud the main reason for this. So Anny was going to continue the ritual that he had been participating in for months every day in the mornings: going out of a jog.
Canterlot, like most cities, had recently noticed that its citizens were complaining about how there was nothing to do in the way of exercising in the city, so they did the most rational thing when faced with these complaints, which was to give in to the thousands of angry ponies.
Parks were opened for noble and commoner alike to run around and play in, and, most importantly, they had set up a running trail that would link all around the city so a Canterlotian could get their cardio whenever they wanted.
Anny was on his way to one of these trails after getting the direction’s from Night Light, who was also an avid runner.
Humming a happy little tune, Anny calmly walked through the city until he reached a big red sign:
Our lady Celestia’s Stone pine running trail
“Huh, the Princess must have helped build this…” Anny muttered to himself as he started to run in place to get the blood flowing.
“You’re halfway right, Antaeus,” a voice said from behind the human. “I paid for some of this specific trail, but most of the funds came from a few generous anonymous sources.”
Turning around, Anny saw the pony who he had come up here to start this whole enterprise, a gently smiling Princess Celestia, who had a frowning guard in tow.
The Princess of the Sun rolled her eyes as the human bowed, waving his silliness away. “Now now, young man, there’s no need for that,” she told him, while she also started to trot around in place, which looked really adorable to the human.
Looking the princess up and down quickly Anny noticed the Celestia was also wearing a headband, along with pony ankle workout sleeves. “…Princess,” the human said uncertainly, Celestia looking up at him with a smile, Anny getting butterflies while under her warm gaze.
“Um, not that’s any of my business, but what are you doing here?”
The Princess raised an eyebrow in amusement. “I could ask you the same, Antaeus.” She made her way toward the human, Anny fighting the urge to back up. “Are you spending a few days here in Canterlot or are you just here for business?”
Despite the smiling he was giving the princess, the human was screaming on the inside. Oh no! Gottaliegottaliegottalie! He thought, trying to rack his brain for a decent excuse.
“Oh, um, Twilight brought me up h-here,” Anny shimmered out. “I’ve been thinking of, um, on moving up here.”
“Oh?”
Anny nodded, his confidence growing as his lie progressed. “Yeah, it’s probably safer up here than down in Ponyville, and I hear the pay’s a little bit better.” He pointed a thumb toward where he thought the Sparkle house was. “Twilight’s mom was nice enough to give me a place to stay while I get a feel of the city.”
Celestia nodded, wiggling out her forelegs to loosen any stiff muscles. “And you said that Twilight accompanied you?” The alicorn hummed thoughtfully. “It’s odd that she hasn’t come to see me… In fact I don’t remember her even telling me that she was coming to Canterlot…”
And now Anny was sweating bullets. “W-Well, she wanted to surprise her mom and all of that…” Trying to change the subject, Anny looked the alicorn up and down. “So, Princess, what are you all dressed up like that for?”
Thankfully, this question distracted Celestia from her pondering, the alicorn looking at the human with another warm, but slightly sour smile. “Well, Antaeus, I’ve been noticing that I’ve been gaining a little weight recently—“
Anny couldn’t stop himself. “Wait, where?”
Anny’s eyes widened and he almost slapped his hands onto his mouth to shut his stupidness up while the princess just smiled gratefully at him while she giggled quietly. “That’s really sweet of you, Antaeus… But as I was saying, I’m out here to get a little exercise.”
The alicorn stuck her tongue out playfully. “ ‘It’s good for you’, or so says my dietitian, so I go out for a little run every morning.”
Anny grinned at the princess. “Trust me, Princes, you’ll learn to like it.” He shrugged. “When I first started running I couldn’t stand it, but now it’s the thing that keeps me from getting stressed out by my daily nonsense.”
He stopped for moment, thinking. “…Though I had to start running so I wouldn’t be eaten or killed by anything, not because I wanted to lose weight, so I guess that might change your outlook on it…”
Still smiling, Celestia walked past the human, her guard following in grim silence. Looking over her shoulder, the princess asked, “Antaeus, would you like to join me? I’ve always been told that a run is more enjoyable when you have a ‘running buddy.’”
She eyed her guard for a moment. “My guardsponies really don’t carry conversations very well…”
The now giddy human nodded, trying to keep from hopping around in joy. “Sure, Princess, I’ll be your running buddy.”
“Are you sure? What I run is a bit strenuous.”
Anny waved her away, giving his legs a final shake. “I run every day and I go pretty far, Princess, I think I’ll be fine.”
Two hours later…
Now, Anny could never claim the he never made mistakes, in fact the human would admit to anyone that asked that he was pretty good at making some bad mistakes.
He made another when he joined the princess on her “little” run, which was more like a marathon, Celestia, Anny, and the silent guard running around the city at least three times before Celestia finally called it quits.
It was only through sheer, bloody determination that Anny was able to finish this demon run, and now he was paying the price.
“I think that’s all of today, Gleaming Shield,” the alicorn told her guard, who looked only slightly winded, while Celestia looked at Anny with concern, the human laying on his back panting while he was covered in sweat. “Antaeus, are you alright?”
“I *pant* can see a bright *pant* light,” the human rasped out while Celestia trotted over to him and gingerly sat down. She watched in concern and mild amusement as Anny’s eyes widened. “Oh no! The light *pant* isn’t heaven, its heck!”
Despite herself, the alicorn giggled while she carefully placed Anny on her back while he continued to mutter to himself.
“No, Mr. Devil, I don’t want to play Twister with you!”
“Yes yes, Antaeus dear, now how about we get you to the castle to get you cleaned up a little hmm?”
The human just answered with more mumbling as the Princess and her guard in tow slowly made their way to back to the castle.
“You’ve been oddly quiet, Sergeant,” the princess said to her guard with a small smile. “I would have thought you’d have said something about Antaeus’s stamina by now.”
The guardspony snorted quietly while the two ignored the countless ponies’ horrified looks when they saw what their princess was doing. “It was only fifteen miles, your Majesty,” the guard said with slight distaste. “I’ve seen trainees do more than that on their hind legs.”
“Oh, really, Sergeant?”
“…They get it eventually, ma’am.”
Rolling her eyes, the princess adjusted Anny on her back with a wing. “Well, I think the young human here did quite well.”
“No, we can’t have cookies on Sunday, Mr. Spaceman.”
“…Even if it seems like he overdid it a little bit…”
With as much stealth as a giant pony with a human on her back could manage, Celestia snuck around the various crowds of nobles and officials to get to her destination, the kitchens.
“Here we are,” she said mostly to herself as she looked back at her guard with a smile. “Gleaming Shield, you are dismissed. Please return to the barracks while I tend to Antaeus.”
Eyeing the human and shaking his head, the guard made his way out of the empty kitchen, leaving Anny and the Princess alone. “You’d think with those long legs he’d be able to run longer.” Celestia heard him mutter before leaving. “Back in my day, we’d be thankful for getting a fifteen mile run from our commander. That’d be our easy training days …”
Humming a little tune to herself, Celestia levitated Anny off her back to sit on a counter while she fiddled in a few of the cabinets.
“I was being truthful when I was talking to my guardspony when I said you did very well, Anny,” she told the still out of it human, who was still muttering to himself as the princess continued.
“If I may, Anny—is it okay if I call you Anny, dear? I know you let your friends call you it an—“
Anny, due to three parts exhaustion and four parts dehydration, did not hear a single thing that the princess said as she trotted around the kitchen, mixing everything that she collected into a blender that she pulled from a shelf.
When she turned it on, the loud noise shook the human out of his little funk enough that he could kinda focus on the princess. How in the heck can she still be hopping around? Anny thought in tired bewilderment.
What is she, a pony Superman? We did run like a hundred miles….And— Anny’s eyes widened as a straw was stuck into his mouth, the human instinctively beginning to suck on the Princess’s concoction.
Seeing Anny drinking her shake, Celestia couldn’t help but beam in pride. “Do you like it?”
The human nodded, taking the straw out of his mouth. “Wow, that’s really good. What is it?” he asked the princess, who hopped into the counter right next to the human with her shake, taking a ladylike slurp.
“It’s a protein shake that a zebra shaman showed me how to make when I was traveling in my younger days,” the princess told him, watching in pride as the human gulped his drink down. “It’s supposed to rejuvenate you and help keep you from getting sore; though, Anny, dear, I’d suggest that you stretch before you go running again.”
The human nodded while he tried to lick the bottom of his cup, much to the princess’s amusement. “Yes, Princess—”
“Please, Anny, just Celestia.”
The human looked into his cup in a slightly shy manner, Anny finally noticing that the princess was right next to him—which was made weirder by the princess sitting like a human. “So, um... Celestia,” Anny said. “Do you really run that far every day?”
“Yes, Anny, a guard and I will run about that distance every day.” the princess said while the human silently wondered how she was about to sit like that without falling over, which made keeping a conversation kinda hard.
That still didn’t keep the human from looking at the princess in mild shock. “You can run all of that and your health doctor guy still thinks that you need to lose weight?” He snorted. “Now, there’s something wrong with that…”
The princess aw’d the human, giving him a gentle pat on his back and almost knocking him off the counter. “Well, Anny, all it takes is a little bit of practice; if you do this every day you’d find this as easy as I or my guardsponies do.”
Anny snorted softly. “Whatever you say, Princess.”
The princess nudged him, a stern look on her face. “I will not sit here and listen to one of my subjects badmouth themselves, Antaeus!” the princess said in her soft but strong tone that she always used, Anny flinching under her mild glare.
Anny, surprised and more than a little confused with the turn of events, shimmered out. “Well, Princess—“
“Celestia.”
“—Celestia, sometimes there’s just plain natural talent instead of hard work.” He meekly shrugged. “Sometimes, all of the work in the world wouldn’t let a guy run that much.”
The Princess’s stern glare turned thoughtful for a few moments before she slyly smiled. “But you did run it, Antaeus.”
“Huh?”
She nodded. “You ran that fifteen miles, without the help of anypony, or ‘natural talent,’ it was just you putting one leg in front of the other.”
Anny just kicked his legs in the air, refusing to look at the really nice Princess. “Well, I did have a really good running buddy…”
Before the Princess could reply at the compliment, Anny scooted forward to hop off the counter. “Now, since I feel really bad about probably throwing your morning schedule off to help me, I’m just going to—“
Unbeknownst to Anny, who had never before experienced this level of muscle fatigue, his legs had decided to give out at the next opportunity that he wanted to use them. So, instead of hopping onto his feet with the typical grace that was known for a human, his face decided that it was time to get a little more intimate with with some marble flooring.
Slam!
Celestia gasped in horror as Anny hit the ground with a thump and a groan, Anny curling into a semi-ball in pain and whimpering.
“Oh goodness, Antaeus! Are you alright?” she asked, hopping off the counter and helping the human to shaky feet, Anny holding his now aching head while Celestia eyes him up and down, looking for any serious injury.
Shaking his head and blinking owlishly, Anny muttered, “I’m fine, I’m fine.” He chuckled nervously as the Princess circled him. “It’s just a little bump on the head and some tired muscles, I’ll be fine.”
Tsking, Celestia all but forced the human to lean into her, the alicorn leading him out of the kitchen. “Well, let me at least help you get home,” the Princess insisted.
“You don’t have to do that, Princess,” Anny weakly said while she all but dragged him through the hallways. “I can get to the Sparkles’ house by myself.”
Celestia shook her head, her face set with grim determination. “Nonsense, it was partially my fault that you’re in this condition, so it’s only fair that that I be the one to take you there. Besides, I want to check on Twilight. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her after all.”
The human nodded, a warm smile on his face as he looked at the Princess. Wow I really didn’t think anybody could be this nice, he thought to himself as Celestia navigated the two through her labyrinth of a castle and onto the street.
If the Princess had bothered to look over her shoulder at the human she would have seen the proverbial hearts in the human’s eyes as she led him down the streets to the Sparkle household.
Smart, nice, pretty… Boy, did I pick the right mare, Anny thought with happiness, his arm tightening around the alicorns neck a little bit more, Celestia not noticing as her motherly concern kept her on the task at hand.
“You really didn’t need to do this, Princess,” Anny said tiredly. “I really am fine.”
It took all of the Princess’s diplomatic skills not to roll her eyes. Stallions are the same no matter the species, she thought with amusement. Not one of them can accept help without a fight…
“You’re right, Anny,” the Princess said calmly. “You didn’t need my help, but I needed a big, strong stallion escort me to the Sparkle residents.”
Behind the two, Gleaming Shield, who was trailing the two like guards were known to do, snorted. “If you’re looking for one of those, Highness, then you really picked the wrong monkey-alien.”
Now rolling her eyes, Celestia looked over her shoulder to glare at the guard, getting an emotionless, somewhat bored stare. “Gleaming Shield.”
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Didn’t I tell you to return to the barracks?”
The guard nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Why aren’t you there then?”
While her glare would scare the fiercest monster, Gleaming Shield, like all veteran guards, couldn’t really give a horse apple at the Princess’s fake angry glares.
“Well, ma’am, I noticed that you were leaving the castle so I decided to escort you.”
“I don’t need an escort, Sergeant.”
The Princess could have sworn she saw the barest hint of a smile on the guard’s face. “I know you don’t, My Lady. I just needed a big, strong alicorn to escort me around.” The guard looked from the Princess to the human for a moment. “And, Ma’am, it seems like the human is out like a light.”
Blinking in surprise, the Princess looking up at the human, noticing that Anny was actually asleep, the human still somehow walking while he quietly snored.
“Curious…”
The Sergeant shrugged. “I’ve seen something like this a few times, Princess,” he said as the Princess gently placed the sleeping human onto her back. “It happens once in a while with the new recruits after a long days’ worth of running. Captain Hoplite, back in the day, used to have one of us walk around the castle at night to look out for sleepmarchers.”
The Princess smiled slightly at that a little bit of information. “Well, I hope Antaeus is okay.”
“I’m sure that he’s fine, Princess, but personally, I think the colt needs a little more of this.” he shrugged at Celestia’s bewildered look. “If somepony like him can’t just run that little bit then it’s almost a travesty not to help him.”
Celestia hummed thoughtfully. It would be nice to have a running buddy that will actually talk to me to just talk...
“Well, If Anny has no objections, then I don’t see why he cannot join us.” She looked back at him as he let out a loud snore. “But I believe that we need to first start at a level that he can participate in.”
“And, Princess, if I may be so bold, it wouldn’t go amiss of you happened to cast a quick heal spell in the young colt, otherwise, he might not be able to walk for the next few days,” Shield said while the human snored loudly and jerked in his sleep, almost falling off the alicorn.
Anny, though unconscious, would later be told by a horribly proud Cadence how well he did in the start to becoming closer to Princess Celestia by going out and doing something that would ensure that the two spend quality time getting to know each other.
Twilight, though, would tell the human how stupid almost killing himself to save face with the Princess was, and how he was never supposed to do that again.
But it didn’t matter to Anny, because Cupid finally hit him with a pony-love arrow, and boy did it hurt so good.
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thanks for the update!!
Bragged him through the halls? She must be using the Royal Canterlot Voice.
Great chapter.
Hey thats sexist, saying a ALL mans never accept help without a fight its like say ALL woman are just delicate flowers that can't do any 'Man job' we all know that its one big fat lie so, please don't go there. We are in the 21 century dude, 80ths jokes are not funny they are only insulting
This fic is just dawww cute
I noticed a few typos here and there...currently using my phones so I regrettably can't point them out but they are there.
So we get Anny on a moderate run, so what's next?
Moon light dinner w/ candles? The movies? Cake Eating Contest?
Absolutely hilarious. Celestia is awesome in this story as she is in any other, that's good to see. Fuck yeah.
awww thats cute
4093007 dude it's a joke get over it
ETA?
4093239
Ok I will, still I kind of wonder, we are like a bit advance of jokes from the 80, then again thinking on slapstick jokes its not exactly easy either.
Just saying
Thisvwasvthe perfect mix of dawwwwws and lolz I cant wait till the next chapter
Aw, he tried so hard. Don't worry little human, keep running with your buddy and make your ancestors proud.
4093243
Soon™
I liked the sweet candy dream.
I personally am a horrible running buddy. Running five miles with track friends a day during the winter is hard without starting a snowball fight.
But it didn’t matter to Anny, because cupid finally hit him with a pony-love arrow, and boy did it hurt so good.
epic
When it comes to mistakes...well for one thing you keep mispelling your own main character's name
Probably just typo from writing too fast. I know it happens a lot to me. Otherwise this was a fun chapter. The Sparkle family is nuts.
Ba...bana...BANANA?!
4094181 Five miles I struggle after the first one. Not good at running walking piece of piss.
Haha this was amazing, thanks.
Super cute. Great work. Can't wait to see more.
4093007
[Feminism Intensifies]
love it!
He's sleeping walking Celly, its no time to start thinking about small pieces of art!
That was kinda awsome, can't wait to see what will happen next.
Sees Anny drop dead from running 15 miles =
Sees Celestia carrying Anny back to the Sparkle household = Awww
~ Super-Brony12
4093007 i agree on the idea of what you're saying but in this case it was meant as a joke so calm down also there was a large area where whenever his name was written you forgot the e .thirdly you can say the word hell and not have it be used as a swear as long as you don't intend it as a swear like the word bitch can be an insult or the word could be used in the original context like a place
4096765
Point taken…hmm I wonder if that count as black humor?
Höhöhöhöhö, nnnnnnnnnnice!
Hm, running a half-marathon is, how do i say, not the best thing to do with as much preparation as Anny has.
Anyway, this was a really enjoyable chapter, good work!
Things are turning out well...
Though I have a defiant thought. What kind of running they did? Actual running or a jog? Because humans evolved to jog for hundreds of miles without as much as stopping for a short pause! It was needed for a special technique, called pursuit predation. It consist of nothing more than following the prey in a walking or jogging pace, without stopping for eating or sleeping, until the prey tires out completely. Then just walk tothe prey that doesn't even want to escape and kill it with a stone. Humans are scary things. In fact, humans has the most resistant body structure and flexibility, compared to other animals. Sure, they can absorb hits, but if a horse falls and breaks a leg, it will die of the shock or the infection, not speaking about the unability of walking. While a human? Starting with no shock from the bone break, a human can go on for much longer, for example, even with a broken arm anyone would be able to continue hunting.
But I'm just bringing in a completely different topic, this shouldn't be here.
Soooo... yyyyyeah...
-Zeph
15 miles of "running" Is pretty hard for quadrupeds. Not saying it can't be done, magic don't gotta explain, but bipedal motion is much more efficient for longer ranges, while quadrupedal is much better for faster bursts. A horse race is a Mile to a mile and a half, while marathons are 26 miles. Simply put, moving two legs is more efficient than moving four. I digress.
nice new chapter.
Only one thing bothered me.
You see running for miles on end is an activity that only a few animals can accomplish. Even endurance horses can only make it about 15 miles at a trot before nearly collapsing from exhaustion. With a flat out gallop they can only manage about three.
So a fit human should be able to easily outlast any pony
Who is this Anatues fellow you speak of?
I'd totally be your grammar editor/prereader if you want.
the next chapter is going to be "bananas" you say?
: Do you like hmmmmmmbananas?
: I guess so?
: So what your telling me is, you are a mmmmmbitch, that likes mmmmmmmmbananas?
4098179
thats who
Discussions about Equestrian pony stamina compared to a human's aside, you misspelled Antaeus' name throughout the whole chapter.
So the next chapter is going to be about banana?
>>>“Here we are,” she said mostly to herself as she looked back at her guard with a smile. “Gleaming Shield, you are dismissed, please return to the barracks while I tend to Anatues.”>>>
The alicorn watched the guard go, and as he vanished round a corner she shut the door and turned to the human lying in a helpless limp lump on the floor. A shimmer passed over her and the veil of innocence fell away to reveal her true form! Her mane shifted from the bright variegated pastels everypony knew to a dingy pink and her eyes became bloodshot and wild with lust! The kindly smile the Princess of the Sun always wore was replaced by a scandalous leer as the imposter cackled in a gravelly voice, "RAEP TYME NOWS!!"
IT WAS MOLESTIA ALL ALONG!!
sp2.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.607986692804642482&pid=15.1
Longest human race: 3,100 mile "Self-Transcendence", which you have 52 days to do. Meaning you need to run about 60-61 miles a day to finish before the race ends. Want to set records, you run more. (The record is 41 days, so that's around 75 miles a day. Yikes!)
Longest horse race: 620 mile "Mongol Derby", which has a stop every 24-25 miles for you to sleep and switch to a fresh horse in the morning. The idea was to copy the famous mounted-messenger system used by the Mongols, like Genghis Khan and his fellows.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Longest endurance race for horses? 24-25 miles a day.
Longest endurance race for people? 60-61 miles a day.
Want to tell me again that Antaeus is the one who's tired after a 15 mile run? (Then again, he is this story's Butt Monkey.)
Only typo I saw, though, that was just general reading.
I like this! The pace is nice, the characterization seems good, and...yeah.
I enjoyed this chapter very much
Please be Molestia, Please be Molestia
So it's obviously Luna, right?
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Also a yummy treat!
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Interesting.
Well, one cant run 15 miles if its not something he's used to do on a first try. Dunno what was his typical run distance in Ponyville.
But since he's human, he should get good at it fairly quick. Check Wikipedia on persistence hunting ;
It's great his experience got him live through this and so much for trying to throw Twilight off of him in trying to pair him up with Celestia since it seems like she likes him too.
Ironicly, humans have absolutely silly levels of endurance relative to equines due to a long history of persistence hunting.
Humans used to literally chase prey to death, not by being fast but by being implacable.
This is hilarious.
You have quite a few mistakes here and there. Missing words, letters and odd wordings. For example, it should be "it wouldn't go amiss", not "it would go amiss". The sentence I write and which you should have written means that it won't cause trouble if she casts that healing spell. Also, it should be "the Sparkles' " when you refer to the house where Twi and her family is, because the way you word it, you refer to them as if they are a family named "Sparkle", so "Sparkles", plural, with a possesive ' after the s. Or maybe you should just go with "At Twilight's family home" or something like that. That is something that is surely correct in all meanings. There are lots of other small mistakes, nothing really catastrophic, but enough to distract me and there are many more mistakes in this chapter than in the previous chapters.
Still fun. Now, to the next chapter!
I love it how Night Light is just an island of calm in the sea of madness...