The Spears of Chaos: Wrath of Screwball

by Discorded SheepcityUSA

The Great and Powerful Vs. The Crazy and Chaotic

On the outskirts of the chaotic mess that was Ponyville, a lone, blue unicorn, presumably a showpony, was towing a large cart toward the town.

“Hopefully Trixie doesn’t need to deal with anymore of this Chaos nonsense in Ponyville like everywhere else.” She muttered to herself.

“Aww, but nonsense is my specialty.” A squeaky voice from behind her whined.

The unicorn known as Trixie quickly turned her head and was shocked to find Screwball reclining on the top of her wagon wearing a pair of shades.

“And just who do you think you are, lounging on Trixie’s property as if it were some sort of lawn chair?!” Trixie yelled.

Screwball just waved her hoof.

“Oh cool your flank. I need information, and you’re the only one that can give it to me. So I suggest you tell me what I need to know, unless you want trouble.” Screwball said.

That only seemed to make Trixie angrier.

“Are you threatening the Great and Powerful Trixie?!” she yelled in response.

Screwball was starting to get a little sick of this mare’s attitude, and she took off her shades.

“Listen to me, oh Great and Powerful blowhard. Word on the street is that you were the last one to use this Alicorn Amulet thing. And I happen to want it. So be a good girl and tell me where it is. And make it quick, I’m missing out on some excellent Chaos here.” Screwball demanded.

Trixie recoiled at the mentioning of the dreaded artifact, but attempted to keep her overconfident composure.

“Trixie suggests that you listen, little filly. That amulet is not a toy. If it fell into the wrong hands, Celestia knows what they could do with it.” She said.

Screwball did nothing but laugh.

“Oh and you are SO convincing me otherwise. By the way, what’s up with the cape? You overcompensating for your pathetic attempts at magic or something Count?” Screwball laughed.

Trixie’s expression grew overly hostile and angry, and her eye started to twitch.

“You dare insult the Great and Powerful Trixie’s ability?! You will immediately regret that decision brat! Have at you!” she screamed.
Screwball sighed.

“So little miss ego wants to fight huh? Alright then, suits yourself” Screwball said, jumping down from her perch atop Trixie’s wagon, now standing firm on the ground, smiling insanely at the unicorn.

Trixie didn’t know what exactly to make of the little filly. For trying to get her hooves on that cursed amulet, and accepting to battle the Great and Powerful Trixie, she figured this filly was either really evil, really crazy, or really stupid.

“Can we hurry this up here? The sooner I beat you into a quivering pulp, the sooner you inevitably crack under pressure and tell me the location of the Amulet.” Screwball said with a disturbing laugh.

‘All of the above’ Trixie thought to herself.

Trixie charged at the little pony, a pink aura enveloping her horn, and her mouth turned into an angry scowl. She fired a blast of pink energy at Screwball, but it collided only with air, as Screwball was not where she had been standing. This left a very confused Trixie, scratching her head at her supposed misfire.

“What the-“ Trixie was cut off by the feeling of a hoof on her shoulder.

“Boo.” Screwball whispered.

“EEEEEK!” Trixie shrieked as the initial shock caused Trixie to jump back in fright, and Screwball to roll on the ground in laughter at her reaction.

“Hahahahaha! Oh my gosh, you should really see your face right now!” Screwball howled, holding onto her stomach from the pain of laughing so hard.

Trixie was at a sheer loss for words.

“T-That’s impossible! Only unicorns can cast teleporting spells!” Trixie yelled, pointing an accusing hoof at the purple filly.

Screwball gave an evil snicker.

“You’ve got your powers, and I’ve got mine, let’s just leave it at that. Anything beyond that would just sail right over your big empty head.” Screwball said, now pointing to a small boat literally sailing over Trixie’s head, with words on it that read “S.S. Screwlogic.”

To say the least, Trixie was pretty freaked out, but desperately tried not to show it.

“T-Trixie doesn’t care h-how powerful you say you are. Anything you can do, Trixie can do better!” Trixie boasted, with a slight hint of nervousness.

Screwball still held her signature smirk, and she cocked an eyebrow.

This somehow caused Trixie’s hat to jump off of her head, grow a huge set of teeth, and growl at her.

“Can your wimpy unicorn magic do THIS?” Screwball asked as she pointed a glowing hoof at the hat, making it turn completely white and start to grow into a bear-like shape. Once Screwball’s magic had taken full effect, the light settled and in the place of the demon-possessed piece of headwear, was a giant, blue bear with a sort of cosmic look to it’s fur. It glared at the blue unicorn with it’s teeth bared and it’s mouth salivating.

Trixie’s eyes dilated on sight of the enormous beast.

“A-An Ursa M-Minor?” Trixie said, nearly mute at the end of her sentence, her back completely pinned against the wagon behind her.

Screwball had now climbed onto the beast’s back, wearing a cowpony hat.

“How do you like my pet? Brings back some pretty cruddy memories doesn’t it?” Screwball snickered.

Trixie had known the animal a little too well for her taste. She had previously boasted about defeating one of these things back in Ponyville, which led to two dumbass colts getting the wrong idea and leading an Ursa Minor into town. Of course, Trixie had been all bark and no bite, so Twilight had to take care of the thing herself. That turn of events had later led to Trixie becoming corrupted by the Alicorn Amulet, enslaving Ponyville, and well…you know what happened.

“I’ll make you a deal. You tell me where I can find the amulet, and Fluffy here won’t eat you.” Screwball said with that same, menacing grin.

Trixie couldn’t let this filly push her around like this. Playing on her fears as if it was some sort of sick and twisted game of hers. No. She was the Great and Powerful Trixie! The greatest unicorn in all of Equestria! And with such a title comes a sense of unbreaking pride that must be maintained at all costs if one is to-

“A ZEBRA IN THE EVERFREE FOREST HAS IT!” Trixie blurted out.

Oh…well…damn.

Screwball giggled and used her power to turn the ferocious bear back into Trixie’s trademarked magician’s hat, and resumed her laughing.

“Bwahahaha! Are you kidding me?! You are such a bucking SELLOUT! You went and doomed Equestria to save your own flank?! Why do I find that so funny?!” Screwball laughed.

‘Probably would’ve done the same thing if SHE was the one facing one of those monsters.’ Trixie grumbled in her mind.

“Ah well. Once I get my hooves on that amulet, I may end up sparing you of my Chaotic wrath. You ponies are just too much fun to mess with!” Screwball declared before teleporting away in a flash of light.

Trixie’s mind was reeling right now. In the matter of a few minutes she had discovered an Earth Pony that could do magic, attempted to fight her but ultimately failed, and had looked an Ursa Minor right in the face and lived.

After taking all of that in, Trixie took a deep breath…

And promptly fainted in the middle of the road.

“Twilight, jus’ calm down!” Applejack shouted.

Twilight looked like a nervous wreck. Her mane had become disheveled, her eyes had gone all crazy, and she was pacing around the room. She looked pretty similar to the way she did when she didn’t meet Princess Celestia’s Friendship Report deadline, only now, she was much more hostile and unstable.

“Calm down?! CALM DOWN?! THE MOST DANGEROUS PONY IN EQUESTRIA NOW HAS KNOWLEDGE OF THE ALICORN AMULET, AND YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?!!?!” Twilight screamed so loud it felt as if the entire tree was shaking.

“Applejack is right Twilight. While the situation is grim, screaming about it will get us nowhere.” Rarity insisted, trying to get her friend to relax.

“WHAT ELSE CAN I POSSIBLY DO?! DON’T YOU GET IT?! THE ELEMENTS ARE GONE, SCREWBALL IS ON THE VERGE OF GETTING ONE OF EQUESTRIA’S MOST POWERFUL ARTIFACTS, AND THE ENTIRE KINGDOM IS IN CHAOS! IT’S
HOPELESS!” Twilight screamed again.

Discord floated above the ponies, slightly snickering.

“I think I like this Twilight a little better. She yells at YOU more.” Discord laughed.

Twilight then turned her attention to Discord.

“AND YOU! THIS WHOLE THING IS YOUR FAULT! YOU BRINGING THAT MONSTER INTO THE WORLD WAS A TERRIBLE CURSE ON ALL OF PONYKIND, AND YOU ACT LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN CARE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! ARE YOU REALLY SUCH A SOULLESS BEAST THAT YOU CAN’T SEE THAT OTHERS ARE SUFFERING BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!” Twilight shouted at Discord.

After hearing that, Discord looked genuinely hurt. His ears had folded, and his yellow eyes softened, looking like they could burst into tears at any second. He said nothing, completely drained of any sarcastic or funny quotes, and he just floated his way upstairs.

Twilight hadn’t fully realized what she had done until she saw Discord leave the room without some sort of smartass remark. When she realized what happened, she fell to her haunches.

“Oh no... I’m the real monster.”

Author's Note:

The ending to this one was particularly difficult to write, because when Discord is sad, I am sad. :(

Well, there's another chapter for ya everypony.

Comments

[Chaos-Sonata]

[skyminer252]

Fluffule puff!

[Evil-Lovieness]

Twilight!! Ouch man! Did you..? Did you seriously call Discord a monster because he had a kid? And said kid is just going through a rebellious phase? Harsh man... harsh... That's it... Hand over your wings and crown, you don't deserve them anymore.

[Ugly-Duckling123]

Did Twilight really have to be so mean to Discord ....

[Discorded SheepcityUSA]

3900102 Don't worry, Twilight will apologize next chapter. I'll tell you what though, writing this chapter made me die a little inside. I hate making Discord sad.

[Texus]

it´s the first time i heard from screwball but i like her and hope that she´s going to be kind of reformed or power sealed away for a moment instead from being turned into stone again

[Nightmare Loopy]

BUCK IT TWILIGHT, YOU HAD TO GO AND RUIN IT DIDNT YOU

[Columba]

I swear, those ponies are jerks. (If you read Bride of Discord, (If you haven't already.) you'll think Rainbow Dash is the biggest jerk of all. Now see here, I don't hate her. She's just the worst pony in that story. Really.