The Spears of Chaos: Wrath of Screwball

by Discorded SheepcityUSA

Backstory of Screwball, YAY!

I-I can’t believe it.” Discord said,

“I know! It’s terrible! What monsters could be heartless enough to hurt innocent ponies?” Fluttershy cried.

“No, I mean that I had a cult following this whole time and nopony told me!” Discord pouted, crossing his arms.

Everypony sat there for a minute, taking in what Discord just said, and fell over anime-style.

“Don’t ya’ll even care that Equestria is under a Chaotic takeover?!” Applejack yelled.

Discord shrugged.

“Not particularly. To be honest, I’m not sure why you ponies want life to be so boring and predictable. And can you really be surprised? This does sound like the sort of thing a Chaos Demon spawn like Screwball would do.” Discord said.

Twilight shook her head in disbelief.

“Hold on. You KNOW this pony?!” Twilight questioned.

“More than that Twilight…I’m her dad.”

You could hear the sound of glass breaking as everypony’s jaws dropped to the floor.

“WHAT?!!?!” Everypony screamed.

“You didn’t think to tell us this until now?!” Rainbow yelled.

Discord rolled his eyes…literally, he threw his eyes to the ground, turned into dice, and levitated back into his head.

“I’m sorry, but have we met? I’m Discord. You know, Lord of Chaos? Nature’s eternal troll? Must I draw you a picture?” Discord said now in an artist’s smock, in front of a blank canvas, and holding a paint can.

“Anyway, allow me to elaborate.” Discord said, splashing whatever paint was in the can onto the canvas. When it dripped down, it revealed an image of a lonely looking Discord sitting on his throne, surrounded by a world of Chaos.

“Once upon a time, back when I had been released from my stone prison and I turned Ponyville into my personal playground of Chaos, I had begun to grow a tad bit lonesome. Sure the Chaos was fantastic, but what good is it if you have nopony to join the fun?” he said, splashing the canvas with another coat of paint, this time showing a much happier looking Discord patting the head of Screwball, who was sitting next to him grinning from ear to ear.

“That is where Screwball came in. I created the little filly to appreciate Chaos, to indulge in it, and when necessary, to PRODUCE it. But most of all, she was the only living thing that ever showed me any unconditional kindness and friendship…at the time anyway.” He said looking at Fluttershy before saying that last statement.

Discord splashed the paper again, and this time it revealed Screwball blowing a blue mist from her mouth onto a yellow Pegasus, who appeared to be freezing cold, hence the icicles hanging from his mane and wings, with Discord watching from behind her, laughing hysterically.

“During my reign, the two of us had such fun together spreading the anarchy. It was all quite hilarious, and she enjoyed herself immensely…unfortunately, it was all pretty short-lived, as that was around the time I got blasted back to stone.”

“So, how’d she get turned to stone then?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I would guess that the big, rainbow-dome that returned Ponyville to normal after you ponies used the Elements of Harmony-(Gak,Gak!) Sorry, I just threw up a little in my mouth. I would say that that much harmony was a little too much for the poor filly, and she ended up meeting the same fate as yours truly.” Discord responded, snapping his eagle talons, making the canvas and paint disappear.

“There’s one thing that still doesn’t add up. If those ruffians wanted to spread Chaos so badly, why go through the trouble of awakening Screwball? Why not just go to Discord?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah, I mean when it comes to Chaos, Dissy can’t be beat! Why not just ask him to help? Isn’t he, like, their God or something? ” Pinkie added

Luna, who had been mostly silent since explaining the loss of her mane out of embarrassment, decided to answer.

“The Spears of Chaos USED to look up to Discord. But as of late they have become quite agitated with him. I guess the idea of the almighty God of Chaos befriending the very creatures he wished to destroy didn’t sit well with them.” She answered.

Discord apparently took pretty big offense to that.

“They’re angry at me for having friends? Pffft. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of many individuals coming together to make Equestria nuttier than squirrel poop, but their loyalty leaves much to be desired.” Discord grumbled in anger.

“So, the Spears of Chaos resurrected Screwball to replace Discord as the spirit of disharmony, and now they’re out causing as much mayhem as they possibly can.” Twilight concluded.

All of a sudden, loud giggling could be heard echoing throughout Celestia’s throne room.

“Oooooo. Very good Twilight! You actually have something inside that noggin of yours, don’t you?” a voice that sounded really squeaky bellowed.

The ponies frantically looked around the room for any sign of the demonic pony.

“Screwball, would you please just be a dear and come out for Daddy Discord, hmmm?” Discord asked.

A flash of white light appeared on one of the many stained-glass windows in the throne room, and when it cleared up, Screwball appeared inside of it, able to live like any other sentient being, only inside the window, just as Discord had done once.

“I’ll humor you for one second, dad. You’re not gonna love hearing this, but I agree with the Spears of Chaos. After you were released, you’ve gone soft. You don’t wanna have fun anymore just because you don’t want to lose these friends of yours. It makes me want to…to…mmph!” Screwball’s face turned green and her cheeks puffed out wide. A toilet appeared next to her and she proceeded to stick her head into it. Loud vomiting sounds could be heard coming from it.

Once Screwball was done throwing up, she flushed the toilet, which somehow made it explode into a muti-colored mushroom cloud.

“Ooogh. Sorry you had to see that.” She said

“Young lady, you are misbehaving very badly. And as funny as I find it, I don’t want you hanging around those Chaos-agents gone rogue. Being replaced by a filly makes me look bad.” Discord said, trying to sound stern with his daughter.

Screwball however, looked like Discord’s scolding went right over her little head.

“Uggh. So boring! I bet if I closed my eyes, I would swear I’d be talking to Celestia right now.”
Discord’s jaw dropped at that.

“B-B-Boring?! I can absolutely assure you that…oh my gosh she’s right. I’m becoming Celestia!” Discord wailed. He then literally zipped his mouth shut, and Celestia looked mildly offended.

“Alright you little brat! Give the Princess her horn and mane back, turn Equestria back to normal, and get lost!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

Screwball only giggled, and she moonwalked between a few of the windows.

“And what can you possibly do to me if I don’t wanna play nice, huh Rainbow Crash?” Screwball asked.

Rainbow clenched her teeth at the mention of that name.

“If you don’t leave Equestria immediately, we’ll blast you back to stone!” Twilight screamed, answering for Rainbow.
Screwball let out an overdramatic gasp that would put Rarity to shame.

“Oh no! Anything but the Elements of Harmony, please! I surrender to your genius Princess Twilight! You really are the smart cookie of the herd!” Screwball wailed, conjuring a cookie that looked like Twilight’s head, and shoved it in her mouth.

“Mmph. Although, I see one flaw in your plan.” Screwball said, with the cookie still in her mouth.
Twilight cocked an eyebrow.

“You gave up the Elements to keep Ponyville from being eaten by plants. Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten about that little incident.” Screwball pointed out

Twilight’s eyes widened in realization and she facehooved. She had gotten so angry at the little filly, she had forgotten all about that.

“Hahahaha! I seriously didn’t think you’d forget something like THAT Twilight! If you’re supposed to be the smart one, I’m afraid to even think about Pinkie Pie.” Screwball laughed.

“HEY!” Pinkie yelled.

Screwball wiped a tear from her eye.

“Hehehe. Well you ponies sure are a riot, but I’m never one to miss out on some genuine Chaos, so I’ll be taking my leave. But before I go, can I just say Celestia that you may want to get all this broken glass cleaned up” Screwball said.

“What’re you saying you little-“ Celestia was interrupted by the sound of every one of the stained-glass windows in the throne room shattering into a million pieces and exploding into the room. Everypony ducked to avoid the flying glass, all except Discord who used a large, pink umbrella to protect himself instead. To make matters worse, Screwball was nowhere to be seen.

“Everypony alright?” Applejack asked.

Everypony got up and responded that they were fine…all except for Twilight.

“Umm, Twilight? Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

“I’m fine Fluttershy. My ego’s bruised, but it’ll heal.” She responded, but it didn’t sound very convincing.

Rarity almost immediately went into panic mode.

“Oh nonononono! Equestria is being devoured by Chaos, and the only artifacts capable of stopping Screwball are gone! This is the WORST…POSSIBLE…THING!” she screamed.

Everypony in the room gave her a stare that said “Seriously? You’re gonna do this now?”

Rarity became self conscious when she saw her friends staring.

“Well it’s true.” She mumbled.

Author's Note:

Another chapter complete! YES...uh, i mean...yay...

Comments

[Changeling-Drone]

I hope screwball isn't turned to stone

[Evil-Lovieness]

Oh boy... Screwball is probably in her rebellious phase... See this is what happens when you spoil your daughter discord!

[L4]

I love this to death!

[catfire13]

3868486 Don't we all?

[Snickerdoodle]

“This time though he just…took it and left, to be honest I was expecting him to tear me a new one or at the very least come home to rabid potatoes eating the farm again.” Applejack shuddered at the memory; to this day she can’t eat a potato without making sure it wasn't alive first.

I'm sorry.
I had to.