But It's "Thank You, Mister Atkins" When The Band Begins To Play

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A short fanfic, inspired by a beautiful poem by Rudyard Kipling. It is not a war story, although it does follow the hoofsteps of a certain soldier. It is a story about tolerance and not taking things for granted. It shows that everypony, even the best of the best, is capable of making a mistake.

Written by Dolar84 and translated by myself. Special thanks to Comma-Kazie for proof-reading.

We sincerely hope you enjoy the read.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 9 )

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Tangent

Tangent #1 · Jan 28th, 2014 · · ·

Very nice.

And while I like the story as is, I am extremely tempted to write a complimentary alternate take on this story, using Razor Drill and some of the same premise. Mainly because I don't see all of the main six acting the way that they do here (but I understand why it was necessary for the narrative context of your story). For one thing, I'm pretty sure that some of the Main Six are better informed (Twilight Sparkle, for one - she really should have known better considering her studies and her relations with both the diarchy and her own brother...). But only with your permission, of course.

Either way, in case of any military bronies reading this comment: "Thank you for your service!"

Dolar84

Dolar84 #2 · Jan 28th, 2014 · 1 · ·

3859060 If you want to write something like this, then of course you can. I'm planning two more stories about Razor Drill (both inspired by poems/songs from English culture), so more the merrier.

Tangent

Tangent #3 · Jan 28th, 2014 · · ·

3859789 Thank you.

I have two potential story ideas related to your tale. One is the alternative visit to Ponyville that I mentioned, while the other would be more of a direct follow-up where Celestia decided that Twilight Sparkle needs a more direct experience to give her a better understanding of the military, and assigns her to Drill Razor's unit as a political adjunct or liason (albeit one with nor more authority than a junior officer.

I will probably write the alternative visit first. Please let me know if the other idea interests or inspires you at all...

nopeavi

nopeavi #4 · Feb 5th, 2014 · · ·

The only problem I have with the whole thing is that...

You're not going to have a Gunnery Sergeant in the Army. It's a rank existing solely within the Marine Corps. Its Army equivalent being E-7 as a Sergeant First Class. I know you can make stuff up considering it's Equestria, but the terminology you're using seems to be relating towards more of a US English distinction. If in any case you want to change it, go right ahead. You could even look at other enlisted ranks to get a better feel for it.

Honestly, you could probably even just go with E-8 and give him the title of Master Sergeant or First Sergeant. I have yet to run into a Master Sergeant that I didn't respect immensely.

Otherwise, your story, do with it what you will. It was enjoyable.

Dolar84

Dolar84 #5 · Feb 5th, 2014 · · ·

3901837 My mistake. I was thinking about "Colour Sergeant" from the Brittish Army/Royal Marines. And this mistake was made, because I'm a fan of Honorverse where it it in common use, but I completely forget, that only in Royal Manticoran Navy Marine Corps. Thanks for pointing this out.

Airlick

Airlick #6 · Feb 5th, 2014 · · ·

3901837 Yeah, it's a good catch, I'd say his name got mixed with his rank a little bit.

nopeavi

nopeavi #7 · Feb 5th, 2014 · · ·

3901956

Oh it's fine. Like I said. Just pointing it out. Also, in the case of rank and all, I would infer that if he's the acting Sergeant for a unit if the size of it amounted to 120 individuals. Normally, that'd mean he's filling in as senior NCO for a Warrant Officer/Captain/Major and controlling a minimum of one platoon, or being just that, the head of both platoons. In any which case, you'd probably want the character himself as at least an E-8.

Regardless, it was well put together and I'm glad I found it.

3901950
S'all good boss. Mistakes happen. I wish I could figure out some of the mistakes in my own story honestly.

Airlick