Where it all went wrong
Chapter One-five
Twilight stared wide-eyed as Chrysalis walked away. Wait! Please! Come back! The changeling Queen’s steps did not falter. Twilight was alone, and there was no way she was going to be able to talk her way out of this cocoon. Time to take a note out of Applejack’s book! She started struggling vigorously against the green cocoon which was quite literally holding her hostage. She kicked out with her back legs, but she only managed to feel pain; it was like trying to buck a stone wall. Twilight growled and lit up her horn, concentrating every drop of magic she had remaining to break out of the green prison cell. As she prepared to cast the spell, her head felt ready to shatter. Twilight cried in pain, and her magic fizzled out.
Oh for the love of Celestia! Twilight put her right fore hoof to her head and rubbed right under her horn. Twilight’s eyes shot open as she looked around frantically, but she had to stay calm and push her fears aside. Panicking was not going to help. Alright, Twilight, think! You can’t use magic, and you can’t fight your way out; you have to use your brain. Now, let’s think this through like any problem. It began three weeks ago, the night of Shining and Cadance’s wedding.
Twilight smiled as she watched her brother and new sister-in-law leave for their honeymoon. “Now that was a great wedding!”
Spike looked down at Twilight from his perch on Pinkie’s head. “Oh yeah? Just wait until you see what I have planned for the bachelor party!”
The girls couldn’t help but laugh. Twilight cringed at her own thoughts. Someday I’ll tell Spike what a bachelor party is. Later, maybe when he turns one hundred... She snorted as she walked to the guest room that was accommodating her stay for the wedding. Shining Armor was going to explain his reasoning for asking Spike to plan the bachelor party. However, that was a thought for a later time.
Twilight went to the bathroom and began filling the tub with hot water. She sighed as she watched the tub fill up. She dipped a hoof into the water and nodded, satisfied with the temperature. She turned the faucet, ending the flow of water. Deftly handling her magic, she quickly undid her mane and hung her dress. Climbing into the tub, she allowed herself to sink down to her chest in the hot water. Letting out a sigh of exhaustion, she splashed some of the comforting liquid onto her face in an attempt to rejuvenate her energy. Twilight laid her head back and closed her eyes feeling her body loosen and relax.
Shiny and Cadance are now on their honeymoon. Their destination was unknown to everypony but Princess Celestia. Hmm, Princess Celestia had been given a prompt physical after the failed wedding and was given a clean bill of health. She had even been cleared to raise the sun in the morning. Princess Luna had needed to set her sister’s sun and was very irritated about it. Twilight couldn’t help giggle to herself. In fact, a rumor was going around the palace that Luna had told Princess Celestia that she was welcome to retake her giant pain in the flank. Twilight couldn’t contain it; she snorted. The idea of Princess Luna invading the medical bay, standing over her older sister and delivering that statement in the Royal Canterlot voice. It’s just too much! Twilight began to laugh.
After her giggles slowed down, Twilight took a deep calming breath, and then another. She allowed her body to sink entirely under the water. She closed her eyes and began to meditate, pushing all worries from her mind, all emotions. Twilight had realized some time ago that this was a part of her life she would never be able to share with her friends. There was no way she could properly explain how very important her daily meditation was. How it… This train of thought is not helping me to calm down and gather my emotions. Relax, Twilight, just relax. Her horn began to glow as she began the process of taking control of her emotions and body. Everything was fine, everypony was safe. Chrysalis was dead, and everypony… Twilight stopped cold and her horn had stopped glowing; she was no longer gathering oxygen from the water. She emerged suddenly from the water, eyes wide and open water dripping from her mane. “Dead, she had to be dead. Right?” Twilight bit her lower lip. She had to make certain. She had to be sure Chrysalis was dead.
Twilight crossed her forelegs, she had quickly come to the realization that the green goo she was emerged in was oxygen dense. Hence, the reason she hadn’t suffocated yet.Briefly, she compared it to the liquid oxygen she had once experimented with. It was, of course, a little different; her lungs had not fought this green goo as they had the liquid oxygen.
Why did I have to make sure she was dead? That’s what I don’t understand! Something brought that to the front of my mind, and it wasn’t due to my meditation. Maybe I haven’t gone back far enough yet. Maybe to reach the cause I need to go back further? Twilight took a deep breath then cocked her head. Wait! What if...
They left me! They all left! Princess Celestia is ashamed of me! Sh-Shining Armor doesn’t even want to see me. Twilight sobbed silently, tears rolling down her cheeks. She felt even lonelier in that moment then she had in her entire life. Twilight opened her eyes to see a shadow above her. She looked up to see Cadance looking down at her in sympathy. Twilight swallowed back her sobs as Cadance lovingly stroked her hair. “I’m so sorry…”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed. Wait a minute! Let’s go back to that. Chrysalis touched me, I thought she was Cadance, and I was too focused on the kindness she was showing me to notice. I was seeking her forgiveness! Think back, Twilight! Focus on Chrysalis, everything you can remember about that moment!
Cadance stroked Twilight’s mane as she cried her apologies out to her. Cadance smiled, her eyes focused on the small unicorn. Then they glowed. They glowed bright green.
Green! Ugh, why didn’t I notice this before? Okay, Twilight, we have a catalyst. When she touched you, her eyes flashed green. Was that a spell? Wait, do changelings need to use their horns to do magic? What about if they were disguised as a pony who wasn’t a unicorn?
Twilight tapped at her forehead right under her horn again. Think, Twilight, think! Okay, let’s hypothesize that, when her eyes glowed, she left an imprint of some kind in my mind. Twilight closed her eyes, wishing she had the air to sigh with. Twilight wasn’t quite sure how conductive sighing in this green goo would be.
I can easily scan my mind now. If I was touched, then the after image should still be there. She lit up her horn. Oh, this is going to hurt! Twilight began to scan her aura for marks, and soon discovered there were several recognizable ones. Spells she had performed and, of course, where Applejack had touched her. Those were welcome upon her aura. So were the touches of her mentor and the love spell that bore the combined touch of Cadance and Shining Armor. But, wait… there! A touch, an unwelcome touch! It glew a sickly green that made her want to retch.
Her horn stopped glowing as the spell ended. Twilight held her throbbing head between her forehooves. Okay... She groaned to herself after a few moments. That hurt! And it was inconclusive! All I know from that aura scan is that Chrysalis performed a spell on me! It didn’t tell me what kind and could easily have been the teleportation spell that sent me down to that crystal cavern! I’m still no better off than before… Twilight rubbed her temples. O-okay, let’s assume that the mark is a remnant of the last spell she used… And that spell is what made me so intent on checking her. I will conclude that this touch was when Chrysalis had given me the idea to make certain of her death… in case of failure. She hung her head, I just wish I knew for sure!
Twilight cracked open her room's door and watched as a guard cantered down the hall. She watched him until he was out of sight. She waited even longer as his hoof falls dropped from her hearing. When she was sure the coast was clear, she slowly opened her door and stepped out into the dark hallway.
She cast an illumination spell and began her walk towards the restricted archives. She stopped after a few feet. Hearing the clip-clopping of her own hooves, Twilight winced and cast a feather hoof spell and continued on, hearing no more sounds except her own pounding heart. She approached the door wearily; she had only been there a few times in the past, and only with Princess Celestia. She hesitated; there was still time! She could go to the Princess, tell her of the fears she was having! They could do this together!
Twilight nodded to herself as she started to turn around and head towards Princess Celestia’s sleeping chambers, when she paused. The memory of Princess Celestia walking away from her, of not believing her. That look in her eyes. Twilight would never see that look in her mentor’s eyes again! She didn’t think that she’d be able to stand it. No, she couldn’t get Princess Celestia. She had to be resolute. She had to do this alone.
What a total idiot I was! Twilight thrashed angrily at the memory. If it were possible to buck her past self in the face, she would!
Once she knew one way or the other then she’d go to the Princess! No freaking out this time. She pushed open the door, confident that Princess Celestia had included her aura in the security spell. The distinct lack of alarms and rushing guards affirmed her conclusion. Now all she had to do was find it.
Twilight tapped her chin. You know, as I’m thinking back on all of this, I realize I found that stupid scroll far too quickly. When I was in the Starswirl the Bearded wing searching for that time spell, it took me over an hour, and even though I was panicked, Pinkie Pie and Spike were not. Heck, I don’t think I would have found it at all if not for Pinkie. Twilight smiled at that memory. It was probably her Pinkie sense.
Twilight stared at the parchment she had unrolled in front of herself on the floor. While it was difficult to remember not to use her magic, it wasn’t, by any stretch of the imagination, impossible. “Th-this is it. This is the scroll I need.”
Twilight allowed it to reroll naturally before gingerly picking it up with her mouth and placing it within the saddle bag she was wearing. Her eyes scanned the shelf she had found the scroll on to make certain everything else was back in perfect order and appeared untouched. Satisfied, she snuck out of the forbidden archives as easily as she had entered them. However, she would not breathe easy again until she was back in her room.
Spike’s gentle snores welcomed Twilight back as she stepped into her room. The baby dragon was sprawled out lazily in his basket next to her bed. A small smile graced her mouth, and she shed a tear as she cast a sound blocking spell over him and his basket. “I don’t want you to see me like this, Spike.”
Twilight took out four large ink bottles. She unscrewed each lid one at a time, glancing at the scroll which was unrolled within her vision. She began to read the spell slowly to herself. After a few calming breaths she took her quill within her magic, looking at the sharp tip with clouded eyes.
“Alright, Twilight, it’s alright. It’s just an ingredient to the spell. Nothing more, don’t think of it as anything else. Just an ingredient, just a simple ingredient.” She kept repeating her mantra as she lifted her left front leg. Her eyes refused to leave the sight of her shaved fetlock. “Just a necessary ingredient!”
Twilight stabbed her fetlock with the sharp tip of the quill and yanked it to the side, creating a shallow slice. Her crimson blood began filling the cut almost immediately and trailed down her leg. She stared at her blood for a moment, then put her hoof over the first ink bottle and watched as the blood dripped into it. One, two, three, four drops. She repeated this with the remaining bottles.
Twilight nodded once she had added the… ingredient. She tied a small bandage around her fetlock before she continued. Twilight took out a small brush and dipped it into the first ink bottle. She levitated the brush over her chest and began painting the runes onto her fur. After about forty minutes, Twilight was covered in the runes she had carefully painted on. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She had to make certain that none of her runes had been smudged or incorrectly copied.
“Good, all appear to be correct. What a mess that would have been if I had to reapply any of them!” Twilight focused her attention to the floor. She had cleared it of everything but her bed and Spike’s basket. Twilight frowned and levitated a broom over and swept the floor of any particles remaining. Once the floor was clean to her satisfaction she began painting the casting circle, slowly, methodically. Time seemed to blur as she worked on making it a perfect circle. “Alright, no smears, no spaces. Now just the incantation.”
Twilight levitated into the middle of the large star landing as to not smudge it . She spoke the words slowly as to not mess up the pronunciation. “Cum praeter oculos meos. Qui videt me latet. Misit tenebras et lucem, cum scire sit conscia.” Her eyes began to glow white and she was lifted a few inches off the ground, the magic rushing over and past her. “Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings!” A bolt of hot white energy exploded from her horn. Had anypony been awake they would have seen a streak of light rush past above their heads headed in the direction the changelings were flung. Twilight wasn’t sure how long she was within her circle. Time simply seemed to have no meaning until the light found that which it searched for.
And that, Twilight hmphed to herself, was when it all went wrong. The spell hadn’t mentioned that a pony experienced in scrying could turn the spell back on its caster! Twilight rubbed her aching head. This was a fact she was now all too aware of. At first she had been able to ignore it. The buzzing was constant after all, so it melded into background noise.
“Come.” That one word that was what had broken her. “Come.” Every forty-five seconds. Twilight knew this to be exact. She had checked numerous clocks to make certain. Every forty-five seconds. “Come.” It was like that ancient water torture she had read about.
“Drip… Drip… Drip…”
Relentless, never stopping, maddening. She had screamed at first. She had cried, even beaten her head against the wall. Nothing had helped, nothing had even paused it. “Come.”
I had no choice! I had to make it stop! Oh, why! Why didn’t I go to Princess Celestia or even Zecora? Why didn’t I trust my friends? Twilight stared through her green prison, tears tried to escape her eyes but were kept in by the goo of her prison. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Please! I’ll be good! Please! I’ll never lie again! I’m so scared… Please! S-somepony come save me! Seeing no movement outside, she curled into a ball and wept.
Princess Celestia! I’m sorry!
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MOAR!
4062907 yes MORE
This came out today. I finished reading it.
Unfortunately, it's time to wait another four years for the next one to come out.
Hehe. Cum...
Now this is something I like. Good writted felling of despair.
Lot of problems here. If most of it is taking place as Twilight's thoughts, why is so much of it in past-tense? And it should definitely have better voice. Like: "Shiny and Cadence are gone on their honeymoon to Celestia-knows-where, Celestia has a clean bill of health, and thank goodness! Why, if Luna had needed to raise it, who knows how she would have reacted!"
You see? It needs to be like someone talking to themselves. Just a bit of friendly advice
Other than that, well done.
I'm actually really enjoying this story, and I can't wait for more!
4062929 more!
I think this would have worked better if we'd just seen the events as they happened, rather than starting here and cramming in everything in flashbacks...
Oh well. We are caught up now.
4064571 well, I think the author did the best with what they got.
4063040 Oh, I don't think so
-your overly cryptic commentator, Atlas
Well, this explains a lot. Poor Twilight, I hope she is rescued soon.
Genetic damage detected in the elements of Harmony , deep scan is active...results are severe DNA unicorn mutation
subject: Twilight Sparkle
Element: Magic
location: unknown
nearest liforms to element are changelings.
well this is bad, I suppose I gotta save her don't I?
No, the Cutie-Mark Crusaders are under way.
mother of me...
this is so good please tell me that you are contuintuing and soon!
Sir, you have a fucking like and a fave!
4063150 The italics seem to indicate that it is supposed to be an actual transcription of her thoughts, but instead we are getting an overview, so to speak. It's the same as the difference between "Twilight said she was going to the store" and "Twilight said, "I'm going to the store."
It could simply be changed to non-italics, and that would mostly fix the problem, but then there is no reason to have things like "Hmm" that only work if we are being directly given Twilight's thoughts instead of indirectly through narration. And "are now on their honeymoon" is in a different tense from the rest of it, and such disagreement is bad.
In unrelated nitpickery, we have "the green cocoon which was quite literally holding her hostage".
I don't think any reasonable person would wrongly think that the cocoon was metaphorically holding her hostage or anything like that. The "quite literally" is completely redundant IMO.
"glew" No such word AFAIK: you mean "glowed".
For general comments: Twilight is acting very strangely here, and it remains to be seen whether the mind-meddling plot point will satisfactorily resolve that reservation. For example: not going to Celestia or her friends. Second example: why she thinks reviewing the past couple weeks will help her escape the cocoon.
Changeling twilight is best pony, please more!
I do care to see where you go with this
As long as there's no Twilight brainwashing, please do continue.
I still think I know what that goo does...
4096693
You are not worthy, but the CMC and I are.
4080885
Me and Nightmare Moon have discussed this and have come to a conclusion...
We highly doubt it.
3863223
Agreed, so...
All arguments are now so invalid that they shall not be considered at this time.
3863134
You make a good point on all accounts.
4524846 do you have any Idea how disrespectful that is to someone like me? Greetings I am Nova Borealis, guardian of life and caretaker of the universe, I am also older than dirt hehe. now who the hell are you?
4524923
John Winter, Prince of Solstice, God of Life, Time, Mercy, Knowledge and Logic. I was here at the very beginning, and will be here long after the end.
Charmed.
4524923
4524948
Don't mind me, I'm just a dimension hopper with a tendency towards reality changing decisions, you can't really kill me, and Eris is my B.
Nice to meet cha. anyway I really look forward to the next chapter, and seeing what will happen to Twi next, it doesn't take very much magical power to cast mind magic, most of that is using the mind to alter another perspective or perceptions. The reason mind mages are rare thought is because the mind is a complex and dangerous thing, usually involving melding minds using magic is usually more dangerous to the caster than the victim due to the fact that each mind is different and some people who don't show very much will could be complete Iron and solid within their own thoughts or someone that shows a lot of will in the outside world would have a will with the consistency of cotton candy.
Chrysalis's advantage and cheat is the fact that she is the leader of a hive mind, and can easily over power individuals using the spells if they attach themselves to her hive net.
4552634 oh really now? i've met your kind before and to somepony like me? you should be very scared because its my job to prevent universal imbalances, you behave when your in my domain or you will die instantly by the cosmic strings being ripped apart, and your soul? well you don't want to know, so tell me traveler, have you met the doctor?
4552654 Funny lad, wears a fez or a bowtie? Typically traveling in a big blue box?
yes I've met him, Tend to avoid him since it usually ends up with either his or my time streams getting crossed multiple times in the same instance.
then again I typically avoid earth and humans in general. Too ambitious for their own good I say. Also, have you ever witnessed a god getting displaced from their own Celestial throne of power by either a mortal or demigod?
4552712 yes, about 72 time in fact
4552724 Now I typically try not to get involved in major events and I prefer leaving the status Quo, however all things considered the most I manipulate is being in contact and influencing the lives of a few key people who are of a proper mentality to actually do something to improve the world around them through means that will last. however even then I prefer a hands off approach to improving the universe or world depending on how far reaching the person's effects are.
but if you do oppose me then I'll just leave unless you truely wish to fight me, then I'll just break all connections to the reality and show you how a master of aethermancy and void magic can fight.
4552634
Who are you, how did you get here, give me one good reason not permanently boot you from this universe, and how do you know The Doctor?
4552830 I invented void magic, but sense you have good intentions I shall allow you to leave, just never come back, like EVER ok? ok goodbye.
4552862 I met him while playing with a weeping angel.
and you need some help patching the dimensional rifts made into you're universe by the doc's tattered time stream. I'll be gone after a few parsecs, Just need to check and see if a few entity's havn't arrived otherwise I'll be spending a bit more time trying to remove them from you're universe.
Stupid beholders snuck into a dimensional rift while one of my allies in another universe wasn't looking so I'm searching for them before they do something more damaging than rewrite the history of a few planets.
either way you better hope they aren't here otherwise there is going to be a few very serious problems.
4552935
4552889
4552862 Would you kindly respect the sitewide rule that says NO ROLEPLAYING of any sort on the site? It's disrespectful to the author, you all cluttering up the comments section of his story with your ridiculous roleplaying, and like i said, there is a sitewide rule.
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/299306/role-playing
4553057 goodbye
4552935
4552889
4552862
Please cease the role playing. I appreciate if you like my story but please you are destroying my comment section for the first story I ever put on this site A story I am proud of and most of all a story I am still FUCKING WORKING ON!!!
Thank you
4553091 I am sorry and it shalt happen again, well at least not by me, It might happen again but not by me that is, just know that I am sorry and I appreciate your concern for our foolishness what you have done to this grand corner of the internet. goodbye I won't be bothering you ever again.
4553091 Gocha, hey atleast you got comments yea? Anyway looking forward to the next chapter.
4553196 Crappy roleplay unrelated to a story doesn't really count as "comments", and only a simple-minded person thinks comment count is an indicator of status.
4553091
I will respect your wishes.
4553208 I don't care about status, one such as me looks at comments as a way to gague both readers and the people that are on the story. if you comment whether good or bad, related or not. any form of conversation can be interesting if you look at it with the right attitude.
also a story can be really popular because it kicks all of it's readers in the balls really really hard, even if it's poorly written atleast the people related well with it. A status mongrel would latch onto these popular Idea's such as HIE Self-inserts because they help others relate with the character in the story.
I typically just write for dun and to see what other's think of my Idea's.
also what are your thoughts on what will happen next chapter?
4553371 Not reading/following this story, I was summoned by the unholy sound of someone breaking a site rule. In other words, I was summoned via a link to this story and the comments section via skype.
4553384 Oh, well then you should read, it's pretty good.
Very good story so far!
MOAR!!!
Please give us some more
Umg.
Is so good.
Moar.
5033206
You mean Twilight, being shoved into a changeling cocoon, and told she talks to much, is dark?
Hmmm...
Yes, yes, it is!
But do not fear! As you can see, there is no Dark tag here!
If there is anything I've learned from Supernatural, it's that when the Latin (or other archaic tongues) starts and the blood gets flowing... it does not end well.
poor twilight
MOARRRRR...plz
I would love to see more of this story. Though here is a tip for you, don't make images with black text and a transparent background since there are people, like me, who prefer the "dark" theam, and would like to see the with out having to change theams.
Isn't the bachelor party supposed to happen beforehand, like, a stag do?