• Member Since 6th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago


Just a critic who happens to write about pastel colored magical talking ponies


I loved talking to Pinkie Pie online, and I always wished I could meet her. Then one day she found me. Everyone always said she would one day shatter the fourth wall completely. Well she did it, and I get to live with her in pony ville. This is the story of how I met my best friend.

This story was my first attempt at pony fiction. I am not proud of it beyond that it was my first step into the writing community. I leave it here as a reminder that we all start somewhere, and that every harsh criticism or scrap of advice I offer to young aspiring authors is one I have received myself. If you ever feel that you aren't skilled as an author or never will be, please read this review, have a laugh, and keep on writing.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 35 )

What's going on? I literally just came away from a wall-o'-text fic. I'm gonna paste exactly the same comments below as I said for the other person.

My eyes! All one paragraph! :pinkiegasp::raritydespair:

I really, really recommend putting this into the Training Grounds thread on Ponychan's fic board, even if it's only to sort out the grammar and paragraphs. It's really in your interests that you do, because almost no one will read it if it's all one paragraph like that!


wow i never realized how much of a turn off a wall of text is lol
thanks for the advice, it is no longer one big paragraph:pinkiesmile:

minjask, do you know the url of this "Pinkie Pie's page"? I wanna visit that site. If it's a fake page, then I'll use the Spill one.

i actually made up most of this on the spot, it didn't come from a specific page sorry. but if you want, here's the link to the page i visit most often

Here, I have a Present for you. 5 Googolplex Muffins!!!!!!

(Googolplex - a number with a thousand zeros after it)

the last chapter did go really quickly :(

to quickly.

yeah i realize it does have that feel. it was intended to be a montage/flashback as opposed to a story like the other chapters were.:scootangel:

You could write chapters about some of the occasions. Like contacting the parents of the kid.... I think that would be quiet original. and the wedding, of course.

hmm... not a bad idea. i've got grades to think about right now but maybe in a few weeks after they pick up. :raritywink:

This was a good story. Thank you for writing it! :pinkiehappy:

Also uh...Is there any chance we can hear more about the part when he was swallowed by Pinkie?:twilightblush:

This is one of those stories that makes you proud to be a Brony

That's so cute!:twilightsmile: :heart::heart::heart::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: awesome story.:ajsmug::derpytongue2::yay::pinkiesmile::rainbowwild::twilightsmile::raritywink:

after learning a few new tricks, i suddenly find my own writing here appalling. I will re-edit and update this story soon,:scootangel:

Well I must say it has been worth the wait.

Wow I remember that song from ATHF years ago, It is almost entirely something Pinkie style :pinkiehappy:

I used ponychan this time, they told me I should scrap it at first but I managed to get somewhere. Glad you like it.:pinkiehappy:

641832 I don't see why they'd say that. I mean Sunspot isn't a Gary Stu or anything. Also I guess that since this was one of the first stories I read when I first found this site I feel like I can't hate it.

Actually they called him a Mary Sue lol, but it doesn't matter. If you enjoyed the story then I've accomplished my goal.

This was an amazing story:twilightsmile:
In fact I think you could make this an entire series!
Cough please cough do cough this cough
Your choice though :yay:

oh, hehe, coming up on a year since I worked on this. *sigh* I'd promised a wedding at some point, so I guess I should get on that. Geez, I'm like the worst writer. making promises and never keeping them. :facehoof:

Great story so far!
As Rainbow Dash would say: :rainbowdetermined2: It's 20% cooooooooooler

>Tfw your first fan fiction is your best in your fans eyes, and your worst in yours.

Yeah, I think hearing it from Sunspot's POV will be better. So we can get a more detailed wedding chapter. This wasn't bad though, keep up the goo work.

-reads title-

Any last words, writer?

2534488 Why, you little... You know what...
Any last words, kingdom?

2537865 ... Baka!:flutterrage: Watashi wa amerikahitoda!:rainbowdetermined2:Ho-ho-ha-ha-ha!:rainbowlaugh:

Pinkie looks so MAD in that picture!

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