My First Jump

by EverlastingKnightmare

well that happened

I grabbed another roll of duck tape and threw away the empty one. “Dammit Pinkie what did I tell you about breaking this wall?” I glared down at the pink mare who was looking down.

“Not to use the party canon as a door bell...” I face palmed.

“Not really what I said but OK! That works!” I put some more duck tape on the shattered wall. Um hey Dark mind looking over here? “Ya sure, whats up?” Well I want you to tell everyone about you little ‘adventure’ in Pinkies world if you could. “Oh OK! So thats why there are so meany humans and pony’s with you! Alright introductions are in order first, hello my name is Kurosawa or as you saw the writer call me Dark! And this is my bestest friend in all of Equestria and the most random pony of all time Pinkie Pie!” She stood on her back hooves and did a bow. “Anyway the big guy wants me to tell you all a story with a ridicules amount of references from movie’s, games, other stories, and everything like that! Let’s get started with my first jump!”

I love how I’M the I’M actually the one telling this, anyway this will be in Dark’s point of view with as little forth wall nuking as I can mange. So sit tight and enjoy.

FALLING! Dammit I’m always falling! Even when I go out for some fresh air I somehow find myself falling! I think I should back up a bit, so I have a very important job on earth, I’m what you call a ‘Guardian’, a immortal being that protects the world from problems mortals can’t deal with. Anyway I went out to get a breath of air when I tripped on a root and found myself falling towards the ground, I’m up higher then I thought. “DAMMIT WHY!?” I yelled again as I went face first into the dirt, I was crashing like a jet would. So I kept going forward until I hit a tree which knocked it over. “.....Hmmhm? (Timber?)” I muttered in the dirt.

“What the hay!?” I heard a southern female voice yell. I shot up and waved my hands.

“Don’t panic! I fell from the- OH MY HEAD!” I fell over and my sight blurred. “Am I bleeding?” I moved my hand to my head then close to my eyes. “......Yup.” I passed out after hearing....hooves? Run towards me.

I woke up later in a very small bed with a very small blanket over me with some bandages on my head. “Ok I need a recap.....What happened?” I mumbled to myself leaning up. .......Wait. ‘Oh gods where is my necklace!? Aw crap the tingling in the back of my head is getting stronger! GODS WHERE IS IT!? FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!!’ I was searching the room franticly for my black pearl necklace, the one thing that keeps my power in check. I saw it on a table on the other side and flew over to it grabbing it. I put it on as the tingling started to become pain, I sighed and went back over to the bed. I sat down and thought for a moment but was cut short do to the sound of footsteps, wait thats to loud for feet.....Hooves? The fuck people having horses in their house for?

“Like Ah said he crashed into one of the trees from falling! Ah diden’t find wings on em so I’ma thinkin he fell.” It was that souther voice again.

“Eeyup.” ........This guy was going to be one of my best friends, just then two...horses, no too small they must be ponies. The smaller orange looking one spoke to me as if I were a helpless animal.

“Oh yer awake! Can you talk?” I know she heard me talk before I passed out but she must have forgot. I mentally grin and started talking in my first language, ancient Japanese. She raised a eyebrow at me when I started laughing.

“I’m kidding! Yes I can, the names Kurosawa but my friends call me Dark.” I smiled and just assumed it was like human logic and extended my hand for a hand’hoof shake. Good thing I was right cause she smiled and put her hoof in my hand. It was soft, like a cloud. I looked at the big red one. “Hello good sir, and what might your name be?”

He gave me a long look then held out his hoof. “Im Big Macintosh, you can call me Big Mac.” Hehehehe, a big mac. I took hold of his hoof softly and could already tell he was a strong fella and by the looks of it works on a farm. That most likely where I am now, and judging from the apple tattoo’s on their rears it must be a apple farm.

“And I’m Applejack!” The orange one talked again and I smiled.

“Well hello there Applejack!” I laughed a bit. “Oh and by the way next time I pass out please remember to not remove this.” I pointed at my black pearl necklace. “It ah.....Helps me control myself. Please don’t ask.” I sighed and then smiled again. “So anyway where in the wide world of where-ever-I-am am I?” I got a giggle out of Applejack.

“Well your in Equestria’s Sweet Apple Acres! Best apple farm there is!” I clapped.

“Brilliant! I must sample one then!” She smiled and ran out of the room. Big Mac and I stared at each other for a moment then he turned and walked out of the room. I looked around for a second then followed him, the house was kinda big for these ponies. When we got down the stairs I saw a very old looking pony with a apple pie on her flank.

“Well good morning darling! Sleep well?” I nodded with a warm smile. She was a nice old lady.

“Here ya go sugarcube!” Applejack scared the shit out of me by popping up out of no where! She gave me a HUGE apple, I swear it was almost as big as the head of my mace back home! I took a huge bite out of it and my eyes went wide.

“Holy sweet gods! This thing is amazingly good!” We both laughed. “These really are the best! Wonderful job!” I clapped after I ate the rest of it. “I must have more of these later!” I heard a knock at the door.

“Ah’ll get it!” Applejack went to the front door and opened it, from what I was it was a purple unicorn with saddlebag things filled with all kinds of books. My head started hurting at the sight of the pony knowing she was a smart one and would ask me a FUCK loud of questions. “Well howdy there Twilight! Come on in! He just woke up.” ‘Twilight’ gave me another round of head pain, who would love that fucking movie and book so much to name there.......Pony after it!?

“Grate news!” Good thing she diden’t match the insane amount of depression involved. “I must ask him some questions!” OK I”M OUT!

“Uh hey Big Mac is there a back door in here?” He nodded and pointed with his hoof to a door behind us. “Thanks a bunch! I’m not ready to be questioned until my eyes fall out yet.”

“Eeyup.” I bolted for the door and resisted the urge to Sparta kick it down. I opened it slowly in a polite manner and closed it then resumed my mad dash.

“HEY!” I turned my head as I was running to see ‘Twilight’ chasing me and behind her Applejack was laughing on the porch.

“OHHITHEREITSNICETOMEETYOUBUTIHAVETORUNFORMYMENTALLIFESPANRIGHTNOW!” I yelled in one breath. Oh gods she was catching up! Then I remembered I had ungodly speed! I was soon in a town full of ponys leaving ‘Twilight’ behind in a large cloud of dust. “Well that was easy.” I turned to see the shocked looks of everypony. “Um.........Hi?” I grinned sheepishly then everyone bolted for random houses. I heard locks lock and windows shut. “Well glad to know I’m accepted, I feel loved!” I laughed and looked around. In the distent’s I saw a very VERY pink pony bouncing happily along. HEY THATS ME! Pinkie! Sorry... Anyway she saw me and stopped in mid air, oh how I love doing that! “.......Hi?” She gasped and jumped at me. “AHHHHH!” She tackled me to the ground with the biggest grin I have ever seen.

“hiimPinkiePiebutmyfriendscallmePinkieandyournewarn’tyou? *GASP* Ineedtothrowyouapartyand-” I put my hand over her mouth and put my other hand on my head then sighed.

“Slow down, my brain can move that fast, I got that your name is Pinkie Pie and your friends call you Pinkie and something about a party.” She nodded excitedly.

“Right! So where is everypony?” She looked around confused.

“Well right now I would think they are hiding in their homes from me for some reason. I have a feeling this has happened before...” I got up holding her under my arm. “Anyway I’m on the run of a crazy purple pony who wants to talk my head off. See later you Pinkie!” I messed up my last words getting a laugh out of her.

“THERE YOU ARE!” I looked in horror as Twilight appeared in front of me in a burst of purple light. SHE FUCKING TELEPORTED!

“Magic hmm?” I put my hand to my chin and grinned.

“What?” She looked at me.

“Two can play this game!” I sunk into the shadow world, I have compleat control over darkness but it was hard on me to do this type of spell. But the look on her face was priceless. I shot back up out of the ground behind her. “BOO!” She spun around and fell over. I laughed till me ribs hurt then a little more! “Oh man! You should have seen the look on your face!” She glared at my laughing form as she was getting up.

“Real funny. So answer me this, what are you and what did you just do?” Simple enough.

“Oh well I’m a human Guardian with control over darkness and everything related power to it.” She looked at me wide eyed. “Just because I control darkness dosin’t mean I’m a bad guy, not evil or anything.” I pouted.

Comments

[BlackWing]

I will be tracking this, nice story, good setup, a few spelling and grammer errors, but, nobody's perfect.

[Silver Sea]

Like it so far!

[High_Wind]

not bad, commence tracking in 3.. 2.. 1
TRACKING

[Nemo The Angel]

Makes me wonder if you even wrote this, you sure you wrote this teacher? Its also funny as hell!