- Member Since 8th Nov, 2011
- offline last seen March 11th
Cast-Iron Caryatid
Powered by Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/CastIronCaryatid)
Cast-Iron Caryatid
Joined 8th Nov, 2011 ·
Offline
Sequels2
-
Cast-Iron Caryatid · 40k words · 161 1 · 2.2k views
-
Cast-Iron Caryatid · 144k words · 516 16 · 5.5k views
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Daetrin · 46k words · 2,750 45 · 30k views
- PonyholicsAnonymous · 50k words · 2,035 29 · 30k views
- asylum1388 · 180k words · 2,679 106 · 33k views
- CvBrony · 700k words · 3,059 79 · 44k views
- TheLastBrunnenG · 27k words · 1,910 45 · 20k views
- device heretic · 160k words · 3,070 65 · 42k views
Featured In40
Shipping 💖11,659 stories ·9,733 members
The Fillyfoolers3,941 stories ·3,489 members
TwiLuna877 stories ·3,796 members
Luna Is The Best Pony4,626 stories ·7,261 members
- Doubled Fun722 stories ·413 members
- Organized Shipping (Most Common)2,157 stories ·1,332 members
Alicorn Twilight2,142 stories ·2,855 members
Twilight Sparkle12,265 stories ·4,749 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.332 seconds
Total duration
1,081 users online
1,886,591 hits today, 2,814,898 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'm not one to stick Author's Notes in the description or chapters, so that leaves the comments!
Author's Notes
First, I'd like to mention that the first three chapters of this are all complete, so look forward to the next two being posted in a timely manner.
Second, I don't like to mention but must admit that chapters after that will likely be posted in a less-than timely manner. Sorry, I'm not the fastest writer! Which brings us to:
Third, the majority of the first two chapters were written before Luna Eclipsed aired, so I'm sorry if subsequent edits have made anything awkward! I like the effect Luna's choice of speech has on her character, but I'm not too good with it. Hopefully any strangeness can be explained by her being between dialects, but let me know if there's anything particularly incongruous.
That's all!
I would say that it's nice to see more Alicorn!Twilight in this site and from the stories I've read so far, none of them had Twilight as the Alicorn in charge of the stars so good concept and nice execution too! Faved, tracking, and thumbs up.
This story is tagged romance, care to tell the pairing? Other than that, seems good.
That was pretty good. Looking foreword to Chapter 2
Neat story, dood.
347431 i predict twiluna, dood.
One or more of the Mane Six becoming an Alicorn is not a new idea, but your version of the transformation seem better done than most. My only grip would be it happened too fast. I would think there would be a several day period of Twilight getting bigger but weighing less, being very clumsy or acident prone since her height and reach has changed, more problems with her magic being more powerful, more pains or raised bumps on her back, ect...
Having Twilight dreaming about flying was good, but perhaps you could of done more with the dreams she had earlier before her bath/transformation, like her also dreaming of being a Princess or being more powerful for several days beforehand.
IMO Rarity most likely would have seen that Twilight was now an Alicorn just like Pinkie and Dash, but would have not pushed the point upon seeing that Twilight was obviously trying to hide her wings with such an ugly garment. Plus Alicorns are much bigger than ponies, especially a pony the size of Twilight. She always seem to me to be on the small size for her age.
I noted this is marked as a romance, I can only assume whom you are shipping. However the there is a very likely pair or will it be a trio? I would think immortality would tend to limit your choices unless you liked see your partners grow old on you.
BTW, I really hope Twilight became an Alicorn solely or mainly because of her becoming a powerful Unicorn and/or being the element of magic, and NOT because she is secretly the daughter of either Celestia or Luna.
Its a darn good fic. Alicorn Twilight needs more stories. Glad to see another one. Very intriguing. Can't wait to see whe
re you go with it. Instant track.
Tracking. I suggest not to make it too cliche, but so far so good!
UNO mustachio!
Chapters of this quality and length I have no problems waiting awhile for. As for canon compliance, if need be just give an episode name and say everything after that point is to be ignored unless explicitly mentioned in story.
347431
Why does it have to be merely a pairing?
------------------------
Its okay so far, but it seems like you only have this part because you feel it is needed, but do not like it and are therefore rushing though it.
Part of the reason for it feeling rushed is you crammed a lot of things (Twilight taller, stars disappearing, Twilight Alicorned, hiding her wings, having her secret discovered) into one chapter. Consider going back and expanding it into at least two decent sized chapters.
“Somehow I’ve become–”
"A fruit?"
That's just funny. I like it.
The part I'm really digging is the little characterization gags you keep slipping in. While the basic conceit is nothing new (somewhat improved by having Twilight's new role be one that's carved out of the other alicorn's purviews rather than outright replacing one of them), the execution is delightfully polished. Looking forward to more.
>>everyone
Thanks for all the appreciation. I personally enjoy my own writing far too much, so it's hard for me to predict how other people will react. I'm glad you're enjoying it!
347431
) right away either.
347553
The overall concept is Twiluna, but that's not to say Celestia isn't involved, or that Twilight and Luna will be mooning over each other (
347731
Part of it is the excessive edits I mentioned, but mostly I just feel like every line has to be special and unique. I also really dislike prophetic dreams as a plot device unless a character is an actual prophet-proper in a magical world, so there's that too 
348176
Sorry if it came off rushed, my writing is very dense, I know.
Re: Her transformation: The intent was to imply that she's been growing very slowly over the past year in a very 'natural' way, as if she was simply 'still growing' as Rarity put it and nowhere near the stature of even first season Luna yet. The only sudden change that happens is her wings, which is mostly a choice of thematic/dramatic necessity. Sorry if that wasn't clear. As for Rarity... What she does or does not know is not included in this chapter
Re: The reason for her transformation: The details of the reasons behind Twilight's transformation are a bit of a complicated issue. All I'll say on the matter is that I very nearly also marked this as 'Adventure'
347950
Well sure, I can (and will) do that now, but it feels just a little awkward to me to not even match up when first published. I certainly have no intention of making any changes to fit Cadence in barring the unlikely serendipitous coincidence of having a compatible concept.
A little bit of Trivia: I initially tried to get this posted on EQD a few days before Luna Eclipsed aired so I wouldn't feel compelled to change it for canon Luna, but that didn't work out—which actually worked out better in the end (in theory) since as I said above, I do like the characterization opportunities offered by her speech (even if I'm not good at it
)
I imagine Twilight sort of looking like Fleur at some point.
348752
As new episodes are released, if there is something that you really like, have it happen in the story, toss your own spin on it as it happens during the events of your story, and move on. As for Luna, your current method to adapt to that episode certianly looks to be interesting in its own right, but you could have easily all but ignored it for all the early scenes when Luna is not out in public, and then explain it away later as basically her security blanket when dealing with a very uncomfortable situation. The Royal Canterlot Voice was how things were done back in the day so she fell back on habit when she had to visit, on her own, the town housing the 6 ponies that stopped her as Nightmare Moon, on top of also being the only town, as far as we know, that she terrorized upon escaping the moon. Again, either on its own a reason to be uncomfortable, together could leave her a nervous wreck holding onto what ever familiar habits she could for comfort. Many people act differently in public settings as opposed to just with close friends or on their own. Any future episodes you can basically explain away most personality traits of any character deviating from what you have in your story as them putting on an act to cover up something they are embarrassed about. Another example 
, An author could easily have Rainbow Dash an avid reader, one who gets so involved in any story she reads that acting as she did in the Daring Doo episode would actually be the norm when not being able to finish a book she started. Still thinking it is an eggheads passtime, she doesn't want to let on that she enjoys it, so when caught by her friends decides to pass it off as only being for this particular book series and to play up her addiction to reading even more when it comes to it, while maintaining the illusion of her distaste for other reading material. You just have to find the right way to spin a situation and you can explain away most anything, and as the author you can craft the opportunities to give such explainations.
I can understand wanting to conform to canon as much as possible, especially as it allows you the full benifit that comes with writing fanfiction, that being a lack of need to fully explain backstory. I know I am often irritated when an author seems to randomly change minor facts around to deviate from the core story with little explaination as to why. However this is a What If spinoff as well as being a fanfiction of a realatively new and still ongoing series. Alone either reason is enough to not expect an author to hold to canon, together you could have humans being a secret slave race living underground working to turn massive wheels and gear systems linked together to manually move the surface of the planet under the guidence of their alicorn overlords to allow the illusion of control over the celestial bodies and the readers shouldn't complain about the deviation from canon...too much
Damnit really? I was looking forward to reading this fic. Oh well.
@ Ranger, I meant reading more of it.
349746 I feel the same. Probly later today.
I want more, would you kindly post more please.
Moar!!!!
and while I really like it, it also feels a bit rushed, like some of the comments above have mentioned. The writings good, and I'm really looking forward to the next one!
347731
Yes yes yessssssss... I tottally agree with this, the daughter of the princess thing just dosen't sound as interesting.
Also, I want to see some earth pony attributes going on too.
351135
352788
Later tonight, probably! It was going to be friday, but I decided to make some last minute additions.
349215
I am well aware of the ways I can manipulate the canon, but I'm fortunate enough that none of the additions to canon so far conflict with my setting, so additional callbacks to them where appropriate isn't too forced—just a little awkward. If anything truly conflicting came of it, I'd probably have just ignored it, maybe slap an Alternate Universe tag on it. I'll do my best to resist the urge to Lucas any posted chapters though, so there's not much to worry about now.
349746
Can't please everyone, I suppose. I should point out though that this fic is rated for Everyone, so it may be easy to look at it as Friendshipping—unless you just have something against Luna in which case I can't help you 
I'm sorry to hear that Twiluna is a deal breaker for you
358311
As for Earth Pony attributes... They will be mentioned at least a little, but I'm afraid they may be overshadowed by the more alicorn-specific side of things.
Don't worry, Twilight is not related to the Princesses
If it's any consolation, I've actually been brainstorming a fic where Twilight becomes an earth pony whose special talent is (still) magic just to explore that very thing, so you may see that sometime down the road
I love Twi-Luna.
Later tonight? I'll be waiting.
Author's Notes
I was going to post this friday, but I decided at the last moment to make a few minor additions based on feedback from the previous chapter—which is sort of the point of me staggering them like this when the first three were supposedly 'done' (I mean, aside from the fact that it gives me more publicity). The latest additions are about 600 words-worth, bringing this above 8,000 words; my original goal was 6,000 per chapter, so oops? Hopefully Chapter 3 and beyond don't feel too short in comparison.
Given the initial dual-timeskips at the beginning of the chapter reviewing Twilight's late-night activities and then again when she gets to the castle, I sort of doubt this chapter will alleviate the concerns of those who feel the pacing is too rushed, but I honestly don't think those scenes would have added anything worthy if I'd forced them in now, so oh well! Don't focus on that and enjoy the panicky Twilight
(I feel compelled to note that nothing in this chapter is meant to indicate that I have anything less than respect for other Alicorn!Twilight fics OR the vampire novels they're standing in for. They're enjoyed by their intended audience, and that's good enough for me. Still, a certain self-awareness is healthy and what's the point if you can't joke about yourself and the things you like? Personally, I haven't read more than a chapter or two of Twilight, but I'm no stranger to the genre, so I think I'm entitled.)
Okay, really starting to enjoy where this is going. I'm a sucker for fics about Twi/Luna/Celestia dealing with one another, and this one's set up some tasty stuff.
Yay, a fic with an immortality doesn't really suck speech. About bloody time someone put that in one. I see the opposite so often it annoys me.
Very good story so far and I'm glad I'm tracking it. Please keep up the good work as this looks to be very interesting as it progresses.
so far so good keep it coming
362430 second being a sucker for these stories, especially good ones like this
I'm very much enjoying this one, including and especially it's unique take. And don't worry about word count too much. Write the story and make the chapters fall where they naturally fit, that's the best way to go. If you force them elsewhere it'll be felt negatively. I only worry about word count when chapters get very short (1,500 words or less can tend to annoy me personally, though I can't speak for others there).
More please.
I have to say, the second I read " I lost the stars", I barked a laughed
Not exactly the best thing to do at 2 in the morning
...
Now to finish reading this magnificent beast of a story
Very much liking this take on the 'Twilight goes alicorn' type stories
Loving the comedy
Awaiting the romance
Feeling all these...feels
Fav'd and awaiting more!
362579
Oooh oooh! I call third being a sucker for these types of stories! It's a bonus that a majority of them have amazing quality. Alicorn!Twilight...one of the best things that bronies ever came up with.
After everypony calms down a bit... If Twilight is as contrite as she seems to be, I think it would make sense for her to place herself at Luna's service. From a purely practical standpoint, Luna could teach her how to bring out the stars and make them beautiful, etc. Twilight could be like her apprentice.
As Luna said, there is no way to really "make it right"... However, if the stars are at Twilight's command now, she could place herself at Luna's command and try her best as a subordinate.
Technically, she's already at Luna's command. I mean, Luna is a princess and Twilight is still a subject, alicorn or not. However, Luna would come across as churlish if she demanded Twilight's personal fealty and service. If Twilight offered it, that would be entirely different.
There's one other dark thought that crossed my mind, particularly when Twilight fell... If she died, then would the stars go back to Luna? I'm sure we'll never find out and don't want to find out, but I wouldn't be surprised if she'd pondered that too.
365439
She's contrite, but I don't think she's about to give up her life in Ponyville to 'serve Luna' any time soon. She'd probably get rejected in any case, since I characterize the alicorns as being rather apprehensive about mucking with each other's 'duties' especially after Nightmare Moon and the princess/subject relationship doesn't really factor into that. An informal sort of teacher/student relationship would be more likely, but they'd need to reconcile a bit more significantly for that.
Anyway, as a matter of fact, the issue of alicorn death is addressed rather significantly in chapter 3 (no, nobody is dying) and figures into the general history/mystery of alicornification that'll help drive the plot onward while they deal with their more personal issues.
I am LOVING this! Faved and all that jazz!
awesome!
another fic which gives me the dreaded I.WANT.MORE! feeling (dreaded as in; i dread running out of chapters...which i ofc do...or did...a couple of seconds ago 
...)
365090
then i call fourth!
I am enjoying this story so far, and I find parts of it to be quite funny. When will the next chapter be out?
Favorite part so far is in chapter one when Luna was telling Celestia that she had lost the stars, I could picture that conversation, and it was slightly humorous as well in a way.
really really good rendition of alicorn twilight, I can say I really enjoyed it! so much that I forgot to continue to write my report, damn I'm never gonna make it on time.
Heya, I've REALLY been enjoying the story thus far. You've done a great job doing things a bit differently than established stories of this type, and I think all of the differences are very much good ones. The plot so far is carried out with a great mix of comedy and realism (especially in terms of Luna's emotions).
Must say, I think I loved the part about how Rarity would have noticed Twilight's wings... If she could bring herself to look at the horrible sweater.
keyoftwilight.com/pony/Twilight-clap.gif
Very good,
consider yourself 1 fan of this story stronger
I'm really liking this one, it's different from anything else I've read so far.
I am a critical person. I love reading fanfics, but after almost every fic I read I write a minor novel with criticism about all kinds of perceived faults. Everything from pacing to spelling to characterization and content.
And, honestly enough, I don't think it'd be worth the effort to do that for this fanfic.
This is, in my opinion, the Best "Twilight sprouts Wings" fanfic I've read so far, and I believe I've read a fair majority of them. I enjoy the pacing, I enjoy how everyone reacts to Twilights wings, and I find Twilights panicking both hilarious and embarrassing. Just as I think it should be. The comedy you're injecting really helped to take off the edge of Pure Despair that so many other authors drip on these scenes, so this was quite awesome.
I could always nitpick, there are minor scenes I can have issue with if I go out of my way to be bothersome, but I don't think this fanfic deserves it.
Keep up the good work! I'm eagerly awaiting your next chapter.
At first i was like: Fuuu more Twilight Alicorn.
Then i was like:
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0inzj18cL1r7ho7u.gif
Author's Notes
And then there was exposition.
Hopefully the additions in this chapter only continue to provide unique flavor and don't seem too hamhanded. Lots of Alicorn!Twilights are proper immortal (unkillable) anyway
Pretty much all the setup is done with this, so things can start actually happening. Next chapter will be a bit more down-to-earth in ponyville to even things out
Edit: Oh, and just to alleviate any concerns about talk of killing suns and whatnot—no, this story is not going 'over 9000.' No (living) OCs will be introduced (not counting regular NPCs) and that part of the plot will progress pretty much as implied: some investigation on the side. I didn't even mark this as adventure, since I've basically given the alicorns free reign to go where they want (during their part of the day) and be back for supper. Basically, if you've liked it so far, it's my intention that nothing after this chapter should change that.
Also—again—thanks for all the praise.
Delirious!Alicorn!Twilight is best Twilight.
I don't have any criticism, constructive or otherwise, so I will just say "great chapter and keep up the good work!"
Great chapter and keep up the good work!
Ahhh, so this is TwiLestia by the looks of things?
Who else is white and weighs eighty quintillion tons?
Very nice! This has easily moved to one of my top favorite Alicorn!Twilight stories, which I am a sucker for. A very unique take on it, too. I approve.
Also, WorldSmith is right, "Delirious!Alicorn!Twilight is best Twilight."