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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hey there, fellow Best Princess worshipers. How's everyone doing? Good? Goooood. Is that a new hair cut? That's pretty slick lookin'. And might I say, you're one sexy individual.
Sorry this chapter took so long to come out, but November and early December has seen this town packed to the gills with tourists, which means a lot of busy nights for yours truly. That, and such an important chapter meant that I rewrote a good chunk of it probably 3-4 times. Ultimately I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, though I feel I could have expanded on a few things. Then again, it is another chapter over 8k words, so maybe I should just learn to shut my yap and keep things brief.
...okay, let's be honest, that's probably not likely. I'm full of enough hot air to fill a dozen Twilight balloons. Remember when this story was supposed to be the "shorter" one after S&B? Yeah, so, I'm sitting at 134k words and I'm maybe half way done with it. Sweet Celestia, I really need to come up with story ideas that aren't grand, sweeping romances.
But hey, as long as people enjoy them, I'll keep writing!
Anyway, enjoy the chapter, and, as always, thanks for reading.
<3
-Dref
Good stuff, though this chapter needed precisely 57.2% more deaths by extreme sunburn.
57.3% would just been ridiculous however. And 57.1% a pathetically small amount.
Edit: also hey, is this the first time the story got featured?
Can we finally understand what the sisters see on tercio? You are teasing us way to much, i wanna know!
5365648
Death by Extreme Sunburn is the name of my Smashmouth cover band.
I believe I've been featured before, but I'll never complain about getting featured more than once. Probably. Unless that feature is in the "stories by self-important twats" section. It doesn't exist yet, but it should.
5365653
Patience, Grasshopper. All good things in due time.
5365648 Of course, it goes without saying that 57.4% is just right out.
There was a point where you used "the moon peaked" instead of "the moon peeked."
It seems like Terico is being really, really forward with Celestia about his feelings. Perhaps it's just my impression of her character given the name, but she feels surprisingly approachable about such personal things. Is that just Terico?
Though you have been writing her as more approachable than most do. Hanging out with ponies and passing out gifts? It's fun, if odd-feeling.
5365599 flattery will get you everywhere, Mr Drefsab
5366432
Whoops, didn't notice that in my proof-read. Fixed! Also, your avatar inspired me to change mine.
I agree that Tercio is being very forward, but I tried to justify it to the best of my abilities, and I hopefully made it clear that Celestia was very taken aback by it.
As for her being approachable, that was one of my goals for this story -- I wanted to show Celestia as more than an aloof, high-and-mighty ruler of Equestria. In the show we have glimpses of her spending time with her subjects, like at the party Mr. and Mrs. Cake put on. It occurred to me that she sees her personal guard on a daily basis, and since they're a small band of soldiers compared to the vast Equestrian military, I thought it would make sense that she is more comfortable around them. Plus, simple things like small gifts and friendly chats make her seem more human (equine?) and relateable, both to the reader and to those who protect her.
Of course, I might have failed miserably at puting those concepts into words, but I think it's turned out decently so far.
5366639
STANDING HEEERE, I REALIZE YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME, TRYING TO MAKE HISTORYYYY
Maybe.
I think this may be my favourite chapter thus far!
How do you write such beautiful text. I want for more good sir.
Poor Celestia has some issues.
Did…Did Nightmare Moon just show Celestia a foggy image of herself having sex with Tercio?
5368067 I don't think it's possible to be further from the truth, he showed him murdering her. Although some say sex and murder go hand and hand.
5368151
BEFORE the stabbing, why was Celestia face frozen when she was looking with an expression of ecstasies?
5368196 Ah, I see what you mean. Then yes it's likely she was shown them having sex.
5368211
Wow, murder before sex, Nightmare really hates humans
5368196
the shadow image of Celestia had the frozen expression, not Celestia herself. Sorry if I made it confusing!
5368151
That's what I tell all my coworkers. And the cops. You'd think they would understand by now.
5368246
Yeah I meant the shadow Celestia from the very beginning, I got that, what I didn't got was WHY she had that face, you don't exactly had that face from laughing
5368268
Because shadow Tia was wrapped up with shadow Tercio. Nightmare Moon was using it to taunt her.
5368535
Ah…well, then that can it be like a sort of yeah/nope witch I imagine that was what you were aiming for, and I wonder when Celestia will had enough and just throw some sand at her like in super natural
5367828
I sold my soul to the robot devil in exchange for moderate writing talent. In retrospect I should have bargained for at least half a candy bar as a bonus.
5368838 Yep. A snicker's bar, at least
5366657
You've done a very good job at making her approachable. I guess I'm just not used to everyone else being so casual around her. That's what surprised me about Terico - though I do see what you mean about the closeness of a leader and a personal guard. And she and they have survived combat together.
Now I want to see Twilight walk in on Celestia mid-sword practice. I think it would blow her mind.
Ya-know, I almost feel sorry for the deer empress when Celestia and Tercio, figure out that she has something to do with all the current problems.
5386497
I think he will need to show his upper torso and wave his arms up to complete the effect but yeah, we are Predators Apes by nature, we hunt, by instinct, and like they show us, if we are push to far we had an adrenaline boost that make us surpass our limits for short periods of time
GO TERCIO WOO! Way to put that first, brave, super-hard-to-do foot down and take that first step in the greatest adventure known as love. Bout damn time! Dis gun be good!
Well, subtlety was NOT a word uttered in THIS chapters creation
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Jimmie Status:
Sapphire: Rustled into the cellar.
Celestia: Wanting them to be rustled...
Tercio: Just plain rustled.
Mine: That would be telling...
Keep it up man... the good work I mean... yeah, that.
" Imagine being on a boat and seeing your wake light up like a thousand candles." I believe the word is lake.
I like the story so far keep up the good work.
7466299 I think wake is the correct word: the wake of a boat is the water pattern that trails behind it as it moves, like the ripples from the skipping stones that made the lights appear
I ran through this story today, bravo sir! The way the scenes flow together, the settings, memorable OCs, vivid battles, skilled prose... And hopefully, one of the first believable Celestia romances.
This is a fantastic blend of fantasy, reminiscent of Gladiator/Spartacus, GoT, LoTR etc. Cheers mate, a thousand thanks for this story!