Now before you can read the actual chapter, you have to understand a few things about this story. As I wrote it originally, it was meant to be a trolling clop-fic. The story was supposed to build up a romance and end with clop, similar to the way Crowley writes his stories. However, I was going to end on a stupid/ silly note (as I did with every story before this).
However, I quickly fell in love with the story, the characters and everything about it and dropped this ending, instead choosing to write the (mildly) controversial/ heartwarming/ loved ending you see today. I wrote this a long time ago along with another troll ending but only this one was truly finished, the other only half way done and discarded on a thumb-drive appropriately named: "Shit I didn't finish yet."
But it is very important for you all to note that what you are about to read is NOT CANON IN ANYWAY TO THE STORY. It does not affect the original story, nor does it impact the sequel which is under way. I have received several requests to post it and think it would be only appropriate for fans to see how it would have ended had various things not happened. Keep in mind it IS unedited and everything. So this is as uncut as humanly possible.
On that note, enjoy.
(This takes place after Chapter 4. Yes, the transition would have been MUCH better had I chosen to do this.)
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“You know, it took you long enough to tell me.” Lyra says, nudging you gently.
“Well excuse me! You could have at least tried to make it seem like you and Bon-Bon weren’t dating.”
Lyra turns away and crosses her forelegs at her chest, mocking hurt. “Humph. You tell me you love and two minutes later you’re already breaking my heart. You’re off to a great start, really.”
You sigh and roll your eyes, taking the opportunity to shimmy closer and wrap your arm around her. The aquamarine mare willingly leans into your side and looks up at you lovingly, her eyes locked onto your own. Her glance, however, didn’t seem so wholly innocent.
“I gotta say,” she began wrapping her forelegs around your neck. “There’s something I’ve wanted to do for quite a while now…”
Your heart begins to race as Lyra fixes herself on the couch so that she’s sitting directly next to you, her gaze fixed on you. You know exactly what’s coming, but your heart still starts racing. Almost instinctively you gently place your hand on her cheek and begin inching your face closer to hers.
Your lips press against hers softly at first, but you eventually give in to the sensation and press your face forward a little harder. Shockingly, the feeling is almost equal to that of kissing another human; however her soft coat provides a warm feeling on your face as you press your lips against hers.
You and Lyra break your kiss, a small strand of saliva dangling from her lips. She wipes a hoof against her face and smiles at you lovingly. You feel that all too familiar feeling of passionate love and lean in again, savoring the feeling of her moist lips against your own.
You feel her tongue press against your teeth and you allow it entry into your mouth. It playfully beckons yours forward and they begin a dance inside your mouths. You pull her as close to you as you possibly can, longing to hold her tighter, closer. Your hands wander around her body, one finally clasping against her flank. She shudders and lets out a soft moan.
You both stop kissing and look at each other. “That’s nice and all,” she whispers into your ear, her hot breath sending shivers down your spine. “But that isn’t exactly what I was talking about…” She motions her head to your bedroom down the hall. You smile and nod, standing up. You both walk into the room, your arm resting over the aquamarine mare. The door is instantly encased in her golden aura and slams shut. Lyra smiles.
You pull the mare in and press your lips against hers sweetly, but quickly get pushed back onto your bed. You look up, your heart beating faster. Lyra’s smile grows wider.
“Sorry lover boy, I’ve been waiting for this for way too long.” Her horn begins to glow and you watch the golden aura envelop your shirt. It gets tugged from your body effortlessly and sails to the other side of the room. Lyra jumps onto you, wrapping her forelegs around your neck and her horn still glowing.
In an instant she’s back to kissing you, her tongue playfully dancing in your mouth. She gently bites down on your lip and pulls back a bit, sending shivers down your spine. You lustfully pull her back down on top of you and slowly move your hands down her back until you reach plot. You instinctively squeeze, eliciting a pleasured moan from your new-found lover.
The feeling of her body on yours gives you a warm feeling and sends your heart racing faster. Lyra begins rhythmically, lustfully grinding her hips against yours, her breath short and fast paced. You don’t think you can hold back anymore. You love her. And not only that.
You want her.
At that moment she stops and looks at you, desire in her eyes and a seductive smirk on her lips. Before you know it you feel a tingle all around your legs as they too are enveloped in her golden aura. Your pants join your shirt on the other side of the room.
Her golden eyes look over your now naked body, stopping suddenly between your legs.
“Is that…”
You look down at yourself and look back up at the pony that only seconds ago was tearing your clothes off. The smile on her face changes from excitement and lust to laughter, as she raises a hoof to prevent herself from chuckling.
“Is that seriously it? Bahahaha!” she busts out laughing and falls to the floor, clutching her sides. “It’s so- it’s so- bahahaha…” she continues laughing as you grab a pillow from the head of your bed and cover your pathetic manhood. “It’s so cute!”
You blush furiously, entirely unsure of what to do. Still laughing, Lyra rises to her hooves, tears pouring down her cheeks. “Oh Celestia, that was priceless.” She rubs a hoof against her eyes and heads to the door.
“But-but…” You begin, flustered and confused. Lyra turns to face you. “Weren’t we, you know, gonna… do it?”
The musical mare, your one and only love, shoots her head back and begins laughing again as she opens the door to leave. “Not on your life, short-stop.”
XD that was fucking hilarious, i love it when people post stuff like this, even more so when they are completely serious about it. Can't wait for the sequel!
Seems like someone beat me to the punch. I too created a 2nd person romance fic featuring you and Lyra.
Hey, don't get down. It was pure luck it was featured back in June or so Honestly, "you" and Lyra fics are the BEST type of romance ones I find!
I swear ive already read this too... Neutral... either you broadcast your fics too much or I just absolutely love your stories.
Probably both :3
I feel like I've read this exact chapter before.
Have you posted this before?
2210461>>2210470 Between you and me, I DID post a somewhat unfinished version of it a few months ago, but I finally finished it and worked it up for posting for the masses to see. Sorry about the re-post, but yeah Thanks for reading it again!
Oh god that must have hurt. I just felt the emotional crack through the lines.
Oh jesus that was priceless xD.
So let me get this straight, Lyra will NEVER bang her me?............WHAT A ^$%^! So I take it the guy is too short for a mare or something or is this Lyra being Lyra. Cause if that's not th case, then this guy is screwed! And not the fun type!
Heh, I just reread the entire fic to read a deleted scene.
Fun deleted scene and I am looking forward to the sequel!
Drop a notice on this fic for the sequel when it rolls around, okay?
Couldn't she just use magic to enhance it? XD
Funny, but also shows this particular Lyra of this parallel universe is very shallow and mean.
So that's the troll ending. I can't imagine how many fics actually end because they saw the guy's smaller penis.
a sequel? yes! im excited!!
Lyra YOU MEANIE!
You almost make me HATE THE SHIT OUT OF LYRA!!!!
So glad you didn't put this ending in the first place.
2215296 I'm happy too She really does become more likable over time. And this ending would have RUINED IT
2211923
I re-read it, too...
This ending was better.
Go on my profile and read some of my stories. They'll make you feel very proud of this chapter, hahaha
2217764 Bahaha thanks for the honesty
WOOOO!
BRING FORTH THE FAN-what? *tunrs to look at some random guy* THE HELL YOU MEAN PINKIE PIE IS TIRED???!!!
SHE'S PINKIE PIE! oh whatever,
no fanfare music for celebrbation I guess
2217655
Welcome to the boat, we need a few more people for a skeleton crew to start pirating
Well that was dumb. Funny, but dumb. Of course, you know that already. It was interesting to see though, so thanks for posting it.
So when might we get so real story? Soon I hope.
2233066
Yarr?
Pirating what, exactly?
2233066 Pirates? IN MY STORY?! Go for it. I've got nothing else to do
2233264 Well I'm doing some updates and stuff now, but I really want to start writing TAHH 2 by the end of the month. So expect some news then!
2233631
We'll sail the seven seas pirating Celestia's merchant fleet for what ever stuff they have.
Be warned though, there is gonna be a lot of holds filled with bananas
2233698
Want to join the crew?
You can be the navigator
2235366
I call the cannon.
2235421
For all the money I spent on armaments, I'm glad that I finally have a gunner
2235446
Suddenly, I feel like the Heavy...
KEEL THEM ALL
2235446>>2235526 I feel honored to be the navigator, my Captain! Let's sail this shit around Fimfiction and do pirate stuff.
2235526>>2256185
AAAAARRRR!! That's the spirit mateys!!
We shall sail the 11 categories of FimFiction!
We'll press gang first time authors into our crew, raid one shots for their cargo of thumbs and faves, pillage hiatus-ed and abandoned fics for followers, recruit the finest authors to our crew (like Crowley, Kkat, or Pen Stroke), and battle the admins to show them who REALLY owns the 11 categories!!!
Now go my mateys! To the liquor store with you and get cases of handles of rum to last us!
In the meantime, I'll find us a talented carpenter to carve either Lauren Faust or the Fausticorn as our stern ornament.
What do you guys think? Faust, Fausticorn, or other?
2256570
God.
EDIT: You do mean names, right?
No?
Fausticorn, then.
2256667
I meant the decorative carving on the front of the ship that's often of a mermaid or the like.
Fausticorn will do nicely.
Though you bring up a good point, ship name.
*rubs beard* Hmmm...
I know, I shall name it the Mi Amore, she'll be the terror of the 11 cate-
!
!!!
Even better! I shall name it the Princess Sparkle!! The TRUE terror of the 11 categories!!
All shall tremble at our approach!!
2256822
Nay, I nominate Princess OP Sparkle.
2256822>>2257944 The Princess OP Sparkle! LONG LIVE OUR DASTARDLY CREW! Let's make a group and attack fimfiction! "Join our group or prepare to be boarded!"
And hell yeah! Only the best authors get to be admins with us
2260901
Do it. Do it now.
2257944>>2260901
Then we shall sail and terrorize the 11 categories on the Princess OP Sparkle!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!
2261893>>2264443 The Princess OP Sparkle has set sail! Join and You shall be made admins.
THEN OUR REIGN OF TERROR BEGINS
2261893>>2265553
What started as a play on the "in the same boat" phrase, has just became something real.
2266915 Oh so real. SO PAINFULLY REAL.
2266915
Muahaha...
2306516 Find him. Catch him. and kill him. Octavia has since this story become best pony.
2216036
Haha, I've seen what happens when a story with good plot has a troll ending; it usually gets downvoted and criticized to oblivion. I'm glad seriousness took over; this fic really was a nice one for me to read back in Summer.
Actually, your fanfic is responsible for getting me into HumanXPony shippings... so thanks for making me even more obsessed with ponies than I already was, you monster.
2510351 are you GLADOS? I don't want to test
2705831
You're not allowed to sleep tonight; we still have some testing to do.
2708953 Me: *Jump* *Jump*
LOLZ
omg this fic was so epic i regret not reading it sooner and i regret reading it so fast
so fucking well done! good comedy and a beautiful romance with a PERFECT ending
i freaking love you
omg this fic was so epic i regret not reading it sooner and i regret reading it so fast
so fucking well done! good comedy and a beautiful romance with a PERFECT ending
i freaking love you
Where's the new chapter.
Hold up, this is in the featured box for latest updates but... there's no chapter! Hmm... What is this sorcery?