• Member Since 7th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 5th, 2017

Just Horsing Around

Doing it wrong, so you don't have to


Everypony in Ponyville knows Ditzy Doo, the loveable, wall-eyed mailmare with the sunny, optimistic disposition. OK, so she's a little slow and a little disaster-prone sometimes, but give her a muffin and a letter to deliver, and she's as happy as can be, right?

Or maybe you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Because, as Twilight Sparkle finds out, Ponyville really doesn't know Ditzy Doo at all.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 76 )

Like a boss, Ditz. Like a boss.


pretty short, but still amazing. nicely done.

That was... that was wow. Neat.

Good read, especially since it didn't drag on like some stories do. Very straightforward.

To the point. Ditzy lays down the law. :pinkiehappy::derpyderp2:

“That was for Spike!” Twilight whimpered, blushing wildly.

And then Spike pokes his head out the window and says "Don't try to blame that on me!"

I think you should continue the story. What would happen if Twilight told someone by accident? If Pinkie Pie threw a party about it? Many questions, unanswered.

Holy shit... That was impressive...

Nice work, man.

Also... Was that a... Nahhhhhh.

NO ONE would EVER reference THAT...

~Skeeter The Lurker

Real cute, but I suspect Doo,D had ulterior motives. Otherwise, why let Twilight, a mare with a history of dubious emotional control, in on her true nature.

No, something is ahoof, most defintely! :trixieshiftright:

dude, this could turn into a seriously intriguing love story.

Edit: could you imagine the look on rainbows face if she found out about ditzy's secret?! priceless!

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Thanks people! Glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

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Are you absolutely sure you want to mess with Professor Doo? She has two defence mechanisms; firstly, Twilight now holds the entire facade of another pony's life in her hooves and I don't see her betraying that, and secondly, who'd believe her? All Ditzy has to do is play up to the village's prejudices and life goes back to normal. :derpyderp2:
As for why she'd tell Twilight in the first place - don't underestimate the power of ego in academia!

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Sure they would! This is me you're talking about! So, the blackmail material is that Twilight is a secret 'periphery demographic' fan of an age-inappropriate series? Is this sounding familiar to anyone?

I hadn't thought of it that way, but Twilight's clearly a fan :twilightblush:

3860890 No, thank you for the talent.

3860890 either that, or it could just turn into a kick ass slice of life fic about how she handles her secret getting out. but personally, i'd go with the slice of life idea, with her and twilight romancing it up.

Twilight Sparkle: "Um... maybe I should go apologize to Zecora before I get too far into my new book?" :twilightblush:

Zecora: "Worry not about your minor indiscretion. More upset am I about my lack of even one icon!"

Twilight Sparkle: "I just can't win today, can I?" :facehoof:


I just didn't want to say it outright.

~Skeeter The Lurker

:rainbowlaugh: I liked the story it was great and enjoyable.:pinkiecrazy::twilightsheepish:

After reading so many heavy and depressing stories with the sad tag in a row, finding a lighthearted gem like this was a real treat.:twilightsmile:

And her bubble Cutie Mark doesn't represent bubbles, it represents quantum foam, right? In astrophysics, quantum foam is theorized to be the "fabric" the universe is made out of. Wikipedia has a good article on it. Google can tell you more as well.

I have fallen in love! It really sent pictures in mind as I was reading, and the details were spot on. The few stories I've read tonight were somewhat sad, but this cheered me up. This needs a thumbs up. :raritystarry:

Ditzy rolled her eyes. It was a horrifying sight.

I hit the deck rolling. :rainbowlaugh:

Nice, but short. Seems like you could flesh it out more.

Hidden genius Ditzy, nice.

I get to see everypony in Ponyville instead of being locked away in some crappy University back-office, shovelling paperwork and funding applications.

Sounds like most teachers for most schools now a days, they can't stand the kids but they suck it up for tenure.

*whistles* Solid green bar.

all the way up in the hundreds too, that's damn awesome :pinkiehappy:

A bit short as someone said, I would've liked some explanation (in story) as to why she told Twilight, and maybe a short follow-up, since it felt like it ended pretty abruptly :applejackunsure:.

As the man said - that escalated quickly!
3865163 You've only gone and jinxed it, you know...! :rainbowlaugh:
3865214 The 'Why' is maybe a little opaque, but Ditzy lets it slip with the crack about "Princess's prized student" - basically, she doesn't expect better of the everyday townsponies, but she does expect (probably unreasonably) that somepony lauded for their intellect should be able to tell. And thanks to a (rather unattractive) combo of vanity, snobbishness, and ego, she wants to be able to rub Twilight's nose in it.
3864585 I knew a bloke at Uni who started lecturing when he finished his Masters. "Get paid while you work on your PhD", they told him. Eventually, people he'd taught as undergrads had finished their own PhDs - and he was still trying to work on his! You've gotta pay the bills, but it doesn't always let you get your own work done. Ditzy's aiming for the best of both worlds.
3864314 Yes, I usually like to leave a little to the imagination, but this is briefer than most.
3862582 You have no idea how much I wanted to make a cheese-related joke immediately after the line about quarks!
3861014 The trouble that old sayings can get you in...
3861234 derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/10/20/452373.gif


That gif is eeeevvvvviiiiillllllllll.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Shut up Twi. Lol

That's understandable. It seems we push so hard to get educated yet the more we want to it seems we have less and less time. Ditzy at least can publish her findings and work whatever job she wants.

This was awesome! :pinkiehappy: And holy cow, did the Profe- er, Ditzy lay down the law! :twilightoops:

A very interesting concept, and very well-executed. Nicely done!:twilightsmile:

This was exquisite.

Certainly an interesting concept. Very nice. :derpytongue2:

This seems like it could be good.
I shall read it!

3870451 had same thought, was not disappointed

Neither was I. This is just freakin' hilarious.

Everyone believes in the powers of Faust and Discord and dragon gods and all manner of strange notions. Some even entertain the idea that Pinkie Pie is the Creator.

None realize that Derpy is the I AM... :derpyderp2:

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Thanks folks! :twilightsmile:

None realize that Derpy is the

The Stig?

3871370 Some say she delivers the mail, and that her penchant for blueberry muffins is the stuff of legend.

All we know is, she's called The Derp!

lol. This made me happy after I read two sad fics. Thanks!

Yeah, this could definitely use a sequal, I wouldn't go with romance, but I could see Twilight trying to hangout with Ditzy and the pegasus getting annoyed.
You could do a cool version of that episode with Daring Do, Twilight pulling a Rainbow Dash and Ditzy being like Daring.
"Fool! Don't push that button!" Ditzy yelled at the unicorn standing at the control console.
"Wha?" Twilight said as she turned her head, letting her hoof come down.
"History being deleted in T-minus 10 seconds... 10, 9, 8,"
*Smack* "Ow! You're the psychopath who made the button, why'd you smack me?"
"Because you're the idiot who pushed it..."

3871370 Some say she's a simple mail-pony, others say she's a genius, but all we know is she's called The Stig!

The other pony with a secret identity is...


Nopony realizes that beneath the exterior of a flightless pegasus is really... the CEO of Leiman Brothers!! :scootangel:

*crickets* :rainbowhuh::twilightoops::applejackconfused::unsuresweetie::duck:

Well, there's a reason she keeps it hidden. Imagine all the death threats. :trollestia:

Ditzy is a bit pissy...

ok that was a fun read.

Very fun little story. :twilightsmile:

Meh, I like the idea but if Ditzy is really so keen on keeping people from finding out, why the heck would she just go out and tell twilight with only the slightest provocation?

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