• Member Since 10th Jul, 2011
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Shrinky Frod


Exploring the depths of the equine psyche! Now with ko-fi link and Patreon!

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(Very loosely) based on the true story of a poly acquaintance of mine trying to find a restaurant on Valentine’s Day for herself and her two mates.

Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy are going out to enjoy their first Hearts and Hooves Day as a triad. Twilight has everything planned down to the dot, from when they’ll arrive at the restaurant in Canterlot to exactly how many rose petals will be on the cloud-bed at her room in the palace when they get home (forty five, and only true rose petals, no stamens – three roses for each of them, one red, one yellow, one dyed blue.)

Then she finds out about one technicality that never even crossed her mind. La Romanetique, Canterlot’s premier high-class dining establishment, only serves couples on Hearts and Hooves Day.

The earth shall tremble. The heavens shall fall. Tartarus itself shall disgorge its most feared inmates… but Princess Twilight Sparkle and her marefriends shall dine tonight!

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 73 )

what a bitch!
and i thought shining and cadence would have helped out. some brother he was.

Well. Never knew this was a thing.

3848663
It rarely comes up, since most people aren't trying to get a table for three. Plus, most reasonable restaurants actually don't do this, it's just that the really popular ones have to in order to keep the kitchen running efficiently. They literally do have things set up to do a limited menu of select "twofer" meals.

Of course, Twilight could probably get in just by getting a manager to approve them sitting three to a table and buying four meals, but... well, she's not exactly at her most lucid, as we'll see in Chapter 2! :twilightoops:

3848685 honestly the only part I find hard to swallow is the maître'd not suggesting that himself. She's a princess after all. I know I'd bend over backward.

3848724
Heh - well, to be fair, Canterlot's getting pretty thick with Princesses these days.

If he had to bend over backwards for all of them, he'd never be able to stand up again!

Tell me, Stuffed Shirt, how do you like life on the moon?
This is a funny premise for a story. Everybody sounds like they are supposed to, I can't find any misprunts, so good job. I'm upvoting and faving this.

Tell me, Stuffed Shirt, how do you like life on the moon?
This is a funny premise for a story. Everybody sounds like they are supposed to, I can't find any misprunts, so good job. I'm upvoting and faving this.

3848745 Bah, there's only four :P we've got tons more movie stars in the real world.

Can't say the host was wrong here. Bad, Twilight! Don't make me come take your crown away.

Can I see this happening in real life? Sure enough.
Can I see this feasibly happening in the Equestrian monarchy, with its newest princess? No, no I cannot.

I wanted to like the story since the interaction between the three is pretty adorable, but it's riddled with what I assume to be compromises between your real life experiences and the characters on the screen. Which means that, sadly, I didn't.

3852345

Gotta agree with this, the host did all he could without growing angry, upset, not to mention pointing out all the possibilites for them without being rude while Twilight was snapping like an angry dog, trying to threaten and constantly being rude.

The fact she didn't get thrown out by force is lucky in itself.

3852716

Twilight couldn't even get a taxi to herself or a spot in the line. She's treated pretty normally.

3852716

Twilight can't even get a cab. And nopony seemed to raise an eyebrow at TWO princesses strolling through the Starswirl exhibit.

Maybe being a princess is only considered a big deal if you are Celestia or Luna.

Shadow Wing: Hey, can I kill the guy?

Lord Stratos: If Twilight agrees go for it.

Seriously though this is a stupid rule.

3853559
Possibilities? What Possibilities? All he basically kept telling them is they cannot eat there because there are three of them instead of the arbitrary two that normally makes a relationship. And because of it he has likely caused a chain of events that will ruin what is likely Equestria's Newest Princess' First Hearts and Hooves day with her Marefriends. That in my opinion would be much worse for the restaurant than anything else. In fact Twilight was the only one who gave any ACCEPTABLE possibilities with the asking for an extra chair and then letting two couples who weren't lucky enough to get reservations to have the other tables.

Also, he is breaking one rule by enforcing another to begin with. While the group Shining Armor and Cadence came with are indeed all couples, they are also a very large group.

3858731

They are a large group who will be going two to a table, so it's not breaking the rules.

Except if you have actually been to that sort, if specific days are major days, they cannot deviate from schedule in order to make it so that they can fit people in properly.

If you want, take it up with the manager and the owners, you do NOT take it up with just the staff, they cannot do anything about it. Do you really think the host there can suddenly just change the rules at a whim because he feels like it?

Not to mention the fact as said, she was trying to threaten near the end. Acceptable means she would've just accepted that the rules are in place, and left.

Nice. Interested in seeing where it goes.

really?
a bit much, even for twilight.

I am pretty sure the host is going to know you're trying to get around the system, Twi. Just go somewhere else.

As soon as I saw the title: dammit Twi, you are missing the point. You goal is to make them change policy and stop discriminating against the polyamorous. If you just declare someone your date so you're two couples, you're gonna get into the restaurant - they didn't care that Rainbow and Fluttershy are genuinely your dates, they won't care that whoever you grabbed isn't - and so you'll have accomplished nothing of value. Also, with a couples only policy, they won't be kicking out individual ponies, they'll be kicking out couples.

Typical Twilight over thinking, but I love the direction the story has taken! Keep up the good work!

:twilightoops: At least she didn't end up merged with the fly.

They could just go to another restaurant. Don't think Twi will go for that now though.

I was expecting a gruesome twi-fly hybrid where Twilight barfs up enzymes, digests the bouquet, and slurps up her meal through a flexible nozzle where her muzzle once was. Of course then, Celestia saves the day, Twilight's crazy streak ends in an instant, and the story is over. I'm kinda glad we didn't go that far; we avoid the 'elevator shaft' this way.

Also, I like this story: a lot! It's to fun to see Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, and even Twilight project reams of adorable pony affection. More please! :pinkiehappy:

3894646
Nah, we won't go that far. But I knew parts of the audience would expect the fly gag to play out, so I wanted to distract from the more obvious missed teleport gag. :rainbowderp:

I assume an invisibility spell is out of the question.
I guess time travel to warn her past self to plan around the difficulty is a no-go.
I assume that creating a pocket dimension isn't reasonable.
I don't think the restaurant owners are willing to sell, and I doubt Twilight's stipend and savings are that generous anyway.
Fusing any combination of the ponies involved into either a chimera or a hybrid won't end well.
Constructing a rival restaurant or an addition to the current restaurant will run afoul of building codes, among other things.
Insisting on "I have an imaginary friend" might actually be the most sane solution so far.

You know, I actually hadn't thought of the hideous amalgam solution....

I just can't wrap my head around the concept of this story. I can't imagine a restaurant being unwilling to serves three ponies be it Hearts and Hooves Day or not. Especially not when one of those ponies is PRINCESS Twilight Sparkle. I understand that it's supposed to be based on a true story, but if you really want to do that, don't make Twilight a princess. It would still be a little weird that the restaurant is refusing to serve three of the heroes of Equestria, but it would be more believable.

3942322
As others have commented, keep in mind that Twi couldn't even catch a cab in Manehattan without having to head to the back of the line.

3942489 While that's true, I don't think that the show fielding a completely unexplained lack of respect/appreciation for Twilight's new status as a princess is just cause to extend that into fics or the fandom in general.

:rainbowkiss::heart::yay::heart::twilightsmile:
Flarkin' adorable. The mental image of Harry and Angel in tuxes is cute, as well. I like this sweet little story. Kudos forgetting it out on time. (Love knows no season, I know. Still, kudos.)

Sad thing?

I was assigned this triad for a story back in October!
:twilightblush:
3947662

3947679 Wow, that's when I first joined this fandom. :pinkiehappy: Oh, well. Quality over quantity is always best. And this was quality material.

That was adorable. Thank you. :twilightsmile:

It's nice how Rainbow can casually suggest that they crash at her place. :yay: :rainbowwild:

3950979
Which maaaaaay turn into a spinoff one-shot. :trixieshiftleft: :trixieshiftright:

Threatening to kill someone, especially a head of state is usually a good way to end up with the cops at your door.

Uncle Statler's recipe, argh.

awesome and RD is such a naughty filly :B jejeje. Great story

I have really mixed feelings about this one. I can see what a lot of the others are saying. I cant imagine Twilight taking things to that extreme, especially threatening the host. - All of the planning and over thinking to get in, absolutely, but not threats.

On the other hand i really enjoyed it. A cute story with a lot of amusing mis-adventures - and no pony dying or being sick/transformed.

If twilight doesn't follow up on her threat in some way I will be sadly disappointed.

Then again I do hate discrimination of any kind, and I find the premise that a restaurant would deny service to a princess like this to be ridiculous and unlikely in the extreme.

Twilight acting very twilight, great characterization.

The response of the restaurant staff however, making less and less sense. Stockade anyone?

Very well written. It was well paced, had great characterization, good grammar (which counts more than you would think) and a cute ending.

As I posted previously though, the way a princess was denied at the restaurant is so Jarring that I feel the story leaves a somewhat bitter aftertaste. Since that is basically the entire premise there is not much reason to criticize it, it just didn't float my boat.

I normally stray from polyamory, but I'm starting to regret that decision after this.

Was it the German language that replaces the w in words with v? And isn't Photo Finish Russian? :rainbowhuh:

4587923
It's a bit of both when doing cheesy accents. And I've always assumed German.

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